So angry I can hardly think straight

[Cade's Mum]

Last night I had an appointment after work so my MIL picked up DS from daycare, first time this has ever happened in the whole time he has attended daycare ever.

I picked him up at 7:30pm and saw straight away that there was something wrong with his arm as he wasn't moving it at all and seemed to be favouring it, I asked what was wrong and he immediately started to cry - when I tried to assess it he screamed in pain.

Angry point One: How could my MIL not have even seen this ????

She told me that he said him arm hurt and she asked him if he wanted an ice pack.:confused:

So we left went straight to the hospital emergency room and had a dr look at it - same thing DS cried with pain at even the slightest movement and it was very clear that his arm was swollen. We had X-Rays taken and nothing was broken thank goodness it appears he has soft tissue damage and the impact point was his elbow.

So how did this happen ... one of the other little boys at daycare pushed him into a wall, according to DS he cried when it happened and told one of the carers who told the other little boy that it is not nice to push and that was about it.

Now I know for a fact that he should have been assessed at the very least and also an incident report written up as DS said that he told them his arm was hurting. Ive received incident reports for way less in the past.

So - angry point two, and the most important one: Lack if duty of care from the daycare.

DS has mentioned this little boys name many times over the past few weeks always associated with pushing, hitting, punching, kicking etc and it seems DS is the recipient.

I am realistic I know that the carers cannot have eyes everywhere but my issue is that if something is brought to their attention they should act and rule out any possible problems.

So after spending 5 hours at the hospital last night and seeing the pain DS was in I am on my way to speak with the daycare snr supervisor about this.

Makes me so mad :banghead:

[Melo]

Oh you poor thing, I hope Cade's arm gets better soon :hugs:

The centre should of defiently written up an incident report about it! Lets us know how it goes :hugs:

[tyhleigha & izaiah's mum]

thats awful there should have defentley been a report about it
i hope your little one feels better soon :hugs: for your son
please let us know how you go

[Bubble*Crazy]

Poor little Cade - hope his arm gets better soon.

It makes you so angry, I know. DD has broken her left collarbone twice (yes, twice) at Daycare. Both times at different centres (she was around 12m and again at around 2 y/o). We still don't know what happened each time and the 1st time it took nearly 1 week to get it diagnosed as the ED intern in Hospy thought we were over-reacting.

2nd time, the Dr advised he had to ask 'questions' obviously to rule out that she was being abused at home! He was fine when he was aware the incidents happened as DC, but it still makes you feel so angry .............:mad: ........ let alone embarrased :o

Best of luck & let us know how you go.

[Cade's Mum]

Thanks Guys for your :hugs:

Yes I am pretty upset about this and the supervisor is not in yet so I am waiting another 15 mins before I call again to make sure she is in.

Thats really a really horrible thing to happen to your little one workingmumto2 I would have been beside myself. Poor little pet.

Everyone at the hospital was asking how this happened and I was so embarrassed saying "Um actually I don't know" I felt guilty enough for not being the one to pick him up and be there for him but to have no idea how your child was hurt is just too much.

Anyway I think she should be there now so I'm off.

Nat XX

[Peaceangels]

Oh Nat, poor Cade! (and how very disappointing for you - re mil / carer) :hugs: for him (& you too!!)

Hope all went well discussing this further with his daycare and I hope he is feeling better real soon.

Take care
xx

[Mum&bubs]

Aww your poor little boy!! Hope his arm gets better soon! :kiss:

[MumsieMel]

Oh Gosh :(

Have you spoken to the director?

I had this same prob wit Xavier at Daycare and my best advice is that every time something happens ring them and find out the details, make sure they pay extra attention to that bully child!

Good luck, hope he is a bit better :hugs:

[Bronte Pot-Pot]

Oh dear! How is Cade today poor little mite - I was horrifed the first time my daughter got bitten at daycare and that they don't tell you who does it but after chatting with other Mums found out it was normal - pecking order being sorted out and all that but being contimually bullied at sucha young age poor little thing.

:hugs:

Have you spoken to the director yet what are they going to do about this bully?


Bron

[Cade's Mum]

Hi everyone,

Thankyou all so much for your comments :hugs:

I went up and spoke with the snr supervisor this morning who was shocked that this happened she had no idea, she went straight down to the office to where the centre manager was doing some work. I took Cade with me and I went through all of the events and told them how upset I was that nobody had noticed that he was favouring his arm and that an incident report was not written up.

The Manager expressed that she was embarrassed and upset about this and whilst could not explain why nothing had been written up it was possibly due to the fact that there was no external injuries and it appeared that he was ok, she did say that there was a problem with the child who did the bullying and that the situation was being monitored with him but now this had happened they would be speaking with the parents about it and stepping up their monitoring of the child and his interactions with DS and other children. Apparently this type of behaviour with he and his little brother is normal.

She would also be having a talk with all of the children in a group session about how bully behaviour is not on (obviously in a way for them to understand)

I have to say I was 100% happy with the outcome, I know that they love DS as he has been with them since he was a bub and they have all watched him grow up.

They usually have a policy that if your child requires 1-1 care that they can't come in but even though DS is still favouring his arm they have been looking after him and keeping an eye on all of his interactions to make sure he is OK, I called him at 1:30 and they put him on the phone and he was having a great time and isn’t in pain as long as he doesn’t press on his arm in certain spots but he can now lift it up and out.

So all is well that ends well - I just hope that the parents of the child concerned realise that this sort of thing is just not OK

[Cade's Mum]

Oh dear! How is Cade today poor little mite - I was horrifed the first time my daughter got bitten at daycare and that they don't tell you who does it but after chatting with other Mums found out it was normal - pecking order being sorted out and all that but being contimually bullied at sucha young age poor little thing.

:hugs:

Have you spoken to the director yet what are they going to do about this bully?


Bron


Me too - biting is just horrid - I remember puting DS in the shower and finding a huge bite mark on his shoulder - of all places :mad:

I agree know alot of it is just them learning interaction as well as better and more appropraite ways to communicate their feelings.

Still there are always one or two kids that are just bullys and thats it unfortunately it takes a while to weed them out.

[MumsieMel]

So glad you sorted it out!!!! :thumbsup:

[Bronte Pot-Pot]

Hi everyone,

........
I have to say I was 100% happy with the outcome, I know that they love DS as he has been with them since he was a bub and they have all watched him grow up.

......
So all is well that ends well - I just hope that the parents of the child concerned realise that this sort of thing is just not OK

Oh I am so happy that they are going to be more proactive about doing someething about the bully as well as the fact that Cade is improving and that they are watching over him with more care.

My 5 year old nephew is what I consider quite rough with his little toddler sister and as a result was rough with my daughter and my brother and i had a bit of a fight about it because I always seem to be down on the poor little guy telling him off - but it seems to have resolved itself as my nephew is no longer rough with my daughter, he now understands that we don't like it - although he is still rough with his sister and there is nothing I can say about it - she is a tough little kid a s a result of it and at just over 1 year climbs ladders etc. etc. - which scares me half silly but at the same time I am so proud of her development .... it is hard to know what the line is between bullying and rough play as a parent to I suppose.....plus you are always more protective of your first....

Bron

[Cade's Mum]

Thanks Bron,

It is hard especially with your first.:yes:

It is hard to know what is their age appropriate play - them learning and discovering what is right and wrong -v- unacceptable bullying actions. But I guess what stands out for me is seeing the intent to hurt on a childs face and their actions as opposed to an accidental collision of two kids running around.

Its great that you have been able to guide your nephew on what is acceptable behaviour with your little one - just goes to show that kids can behave when they have boundaries. :D

[Bubble*Crazy]

Have been away (having a bub!:D ) so only just getting a chance to go through all the threads!

I am so glad things have been sorted out Nat. At least you know the d/c is aware of the problem now and that they are monitoring it.

Hope Cade is feeling better now? :hugs:

Oh, and congrats on your pregnancy :smiliedance:

Take care
Tam :)

[Cade's Mum]

Thanks mummyto2- yes all is well.

Congrats on your new bubby :smiliedance: