So TORN.......just getting it out....

[subaruforestermum]

Let me start by saying, I really need to get this out....BUT if you are going to be judgemental about me then I dont want to hear it, please dont bother.....

Sorry I have to start that way, but too often I have been judged by people regarding my dogs..

Well as some know we have a small mastiff girl around 1.5 years old and a ridgeback male around 12 months old...hmmm maybe a little younger...

Anyway they were getting out...so we fixde up the fence with recycled wire, and they were contained in our yard, basically they could fit through the squares in the fence..

So they were contained..NOW...he can easily clear the fence just jumps straight over it...although it is not often he does it...They feed horses bread in the back paddock and he goes and eats with them...or he goes and visits the lady at the dump cos she put the in the shed with her one day when it was cold, and she had the heater on...so encouraged the behaviour...

At home I am hardly home, and he has chewed DS bike seat, his toys (big toys you cant really put away all the time) keeps digging up my gardens, has destroyed garden solar lights that are $30 EACH....has jumped up and pulled stuff such as a garden ornament, a little rake...off my green house ledge, and chewed it, he has made the yard look like a dump....

And he thinks he is still a small pup, and still tries to sit on my lap...He tries to play with DS and has jumped on him, or over him and knocked him to the ground so he smacks his head on the concrete...

Now I know this isnt intentional, and he is sooo loving and a really sweet natured dog, but he is just getting too much to handle. We are constantly trying to train him, BUT he just doesnt listen... I dont think he realises his size, cos he jumps up on me and barges into me, and almost knocks me over...

I love him to bits, I really do, but it all feels to be getting to much for me...and I hate to say it... I was in tears, and am now thinking of the possibility of having to get rid of him... I rescued this poor dog....I have given him a better life so far, and it took him a while to become loving, he was very timid, and scared and wouldnt even play....

I dont want him to go, but I didnt expect to get pregnant, and for life to be so hectic...I know he is still a pup, and that makes it even harder to consider....cos I know what he is doing is what pups do, but because he is sooo big it has a huge impact on the yard, and DS's things....

I just dont know anymore... then I would feel guilty about keeping our girl, but we had her from 8 weeks old, and she is DS's....

It makes it harder that DF says he loves the dog, but complains about having to feed him when I cant move (I have a bad back) or when I feel too sick too look at their food...And then goes on about how he's my dog... Well I cant do it on my own...

My dogs are good dogs....and I love them and care for them to bits, they are healthy, (as are the pups), vaccinated, wormed, well fed, well loved....but I just dont have the time anymore...

I'm shattered, pets have always been a big thing for me, and YES I KNEW the responsibility of having them, but as I said things have changed in our life, and it has made it hard for me to be able to spend the time I need to with them.... (by the way it's raining here, which is why I'm not out there with the big muddy galoot...)

[StrawberryTheMilkshake]

Subie,

Im not here to judge you at all, and even though my situation was slightly, slightly similar, i understand how you feel.

We had a Rottie who was NUTS. She would knock me over, and snap at me (thanks to ex dh encouraging this behaviour :rolleyes:) and i got concerned when i fell pregnant that she would actually hurt me or my baby.

And in my eyes, there is no way i would choose an animal over my baby.

So, we offered her to a good home for free. I did love her, and i wanted her to be free where she could run, play, and be happy. We gave her to a lady who wanted to breed her but she lived on a farm so Buffy could go running around happy.

It was a heartbreaking decision but the best for both of us.....

I think if both you and DH are at the point where you are agruing over who is feeding the dog, then maybe its something to consider- is it that you both cant be bothered feeding the dog?. I dont mean any disrespect in saying this, but what kind of life is the dog having?

We didnt want any money- we just wanted her to go to a good home.

Best of luck....

STM

[subaruforestermum]

Thanks STM...you just made me cry..cos I know that it would be better for him to be somewhere he was safe, and couldnt get out at all, and had people to play with him...But I love him sooo much it hurts to let him go cos I have failed to give him the loving home I wanted too....

[Frany]

Have you taken the dog to obedience training? It can make the world of difference to a dog. When the dog learns that you and everyone else in the family is above him in the pack he will back off. He is still a pup and if you can get into the training and ride it out he will calm down as he gets older. 12 month old dogs are about as silly as they get, so it will almost always pass, especially with training.

My male dog (who is now 8 years old) was really jumpy and dominant and annoying when he was little but with training and persistence he is a really wonderful dog. Still full of fun but listens well. We live on an unfenced property and he hasn't set foot outside the boundaries since the first day we moved here. Training was so beneficial for him and for us.

Good luck with him. :)

[crazyaboutbubs]

I'm going to try my best not to be judgemental because I know if i was in your situation i'd be thinking the same things and I really do feel sorry for you to have this stress and guilt hanging over you. :hugs:

Is it possible at all to take him to an obedience place to learn a few things? My brother had quite a large dog that used to jump up and was quite naughty and always esacping, but he took him to a lady and he learnt how to train him out of those naughty things. Now he wont jump up unless my brother makes the command and he really is quite an intelligent dog and had learned lots of new little tricks. Even if you just give one lesson a go and see how you like it and if its for you? That way you'll feel less guiltly about having to find him a new home if thats what you end up needing to do.. at least you can say you did try everything for him to stay.

Good luck with your decision. Even if he does have to go to a new home.. just remember a new home may mean that he'll have more company and attention and he might even be happier there, so please try not to feel too bad about it.

[Frany]

Sorry I just read your second post. Seriously, if you can't make the time for him to give him what he needs, he is definitely better off somewhere else.

Good luck with your choice.

[subaruforestermum]

Have you taken the dog to obedience training? It can make the world of difference to a dog. When the dog learns that you and everyone else in the family is above him in the pack he will back off. He is still a pup and if you can get into the training and ride it out he will calm down as he gets older. 12 month old dogs are about as silly as they get, so it will almost always pass, especially with training.

My male dog (who is now 8 years old) was really jumpy and dominant and annoying when he was little but with training and persistence he is a really wonderful dog. Still full of fun but listens well. We live on an unfenced property and he hasn't set foot outside the boundaries since the first day we moved here. Training was so beneficial for him and for us.

Good luck with him. :)

That's the thing though, our life is so hectic I dont have the time to take him to training...our other dog is, which is why we'd be keeping her, she is DS's dog, and he loves her to bits....

BUT we also live rural, not where out here does it...and he gets car sick, I cant hack cleaning up the spew cos I end up spewing myself...

If I was home more, and life wasnt always on the go now, it would be easier..but it's the way our life is now...

I want to keep him, I love him to bits.... but its not fair on him to have no time for him..(the female is a car traveller, always has been. So it's easier if I am going to be away for a while, she comes too...)

[subaruforestermum]

Sorry I just read your second post. Seriously, if you can't make the time for him to give him what he needs, he is definitely better off somewhere else.

Good luck with your choice.

lol was posting and didnt see your second post until I posted mine...

I know, but I love him so much, I am finding it hard to let him go....

[Harlequin]

What Frany said. He'd be better off somewhere else if you can't give him the time and attention he needs.

How are the puppies going?

[subaruforestermum]

What Frany said. He'd be better off somewhere else if you can't give him the time and attention he needs.

How are the puppies going?

I know, I really do..its just the letting go part which I cant bring myself to do...Being pregnant and having to make this decision isnt really the best time....

[Puppies are doing so well...really healthy, one put on 300g in a week which the vet was impressed with...so at 3 weeks he was 1.7kg then 4 weeks 2kg...(he has a medical condition he had to be treated for...but only to do with his mum injuring his tail) all growing well, weaning well...still feeding from their mum, but also having 3 meals a day and constant water supply now...love their play time, and get so excited to see me..]

[Harlequin]

I daresay getting rid of the pups will be just as hard by the time they are 8wks!

Are you planning on getting your ***** desexed? (i forgot her name, was it bella?)

Oh and just remember to find him a good home yourself or through a reputable rehoming group. Don't surrender him to a pound or the vet or anything like that because chances are he will be euthanised.

[earthfairy]

I just couldnt read your post without giving you some of these :hugs::hugs::hugs:

My heart hurts for you that you have to make a decision like this....

Good Luck Hunni:kiss:

[subaruforestermum]

I daresay getting rid of the pups will be just as hard by the time they are 8wks!

Are you planning on getting your ***** desexed? (i forgot her name, was it bella?)

Oh and just remember to find him a good home yourself or through a reputable rehoming group. Don't surrender him to a pound or the vet or anything like that because chances are he will be euthanised.

Yeah I'm already worrying about the pups going to 'good' homes...I cant really inspect these peoples homes, or check their names on a banned list or anything....you know, so they are great pups, I just want them to go to really good homes.. Yeah 'Bella' is getting desexed once the pups are gone....we have tax money coming through, so that will be utilised for that unless something else gets thrown at us like last time we had the money to get her done...(and we were told to wait...which we shouldnt have..but cant change the past)...

I definately wouldnt give him to the pound..I would feel even worse if I done that, than giving him up as it is....



I just couldnt read your post without giving you some of these :hugs::hugs::hugs:

My heart hurts for you that you have to make a decision like this....

Good Luck Hunni:kiss:

Thanks KirstyB....really appreciated...

[Harlequin]

Cool. :)

When you sell the pups just make sure you 'interview' the prospective buyers. Ask them as much as you can about their yard/home, intentions etc. Ask them about obedience training and see if they seem like people who will train the dog. Just ask as much as you can to find out if they are going to be responsible owners or are just getting a pup for the sake of getting a pup.
Give them info about desexing the pups asap and any other info they might need.

You should be able to weed out some good ppl that way. Good luck with it anyway and good luck finding your male a good home too.

[codswallop]

i know how you feel a few years ago i had to give up my great dane id moved away for school and lived in a 8 by 10 cell student acomadation room and he was too big for my mum to look after(80kg) i was lucky that a friend of my dads took him to live on his property but i still miss him
you have too make the right choice for you
(can we get some more puppy pics:p please?)

[subaruforestermum]

Hacing some problems with the computer at the moment, tried uploading some the other day but wouldnt work, so will definately try..I promise to show off my babies soon.....

Thanks for all the imput ladies....

I might do up a little info pack for when I sell the puppies...thanks for the round-a-bout idea Harlequin....:thumbsup:

[CaitlinArai22]

i had a collie i adopted once - he was gorgeous! well after a couple of months he was, when he first arrived he was sin and bones, you could see his ribs and he'd only eat out of a flat dish - he didnt seem to wanna eat unless he could see ppl around him (the dish hid his eyes) - apparently this isnt uncommon for animals that have been left on streets, they think they'll have to fight for their food or something and wanna see it coming.

anyway, i had already arranged to move to a flat when i found him, and i couldnt take him with me (well i was allowed but it wouldnt be fair) so i gave him to a friends cousin who was on a farm

It hurt to see him go, but ill always know i saved him, i helped him heal, i showed him love and i gave him a safe place to go afterwards.

if you cant balance everything in life you hyave to look at what you can give up to balence the other things. unfortunately it may be the pup, but thats better then both dogs, you or baby being in a bad way

[SassyMummy]

I gave up a pet because I realised I couldn't give her the love and attention she deserved. I thought I could... but I couldn't.

I got her from the pound... rescued her so she wouldn't get put down kinda thing... but (as dumb as this sounds), we didn't "click" (lol, yes, laugh at me for not "clicking" with a cat!).

So I put up an ad to give her away. A few people were interested, and I ended up giving her to a young childless couple with no other pets. When I met them, I could tell she would be their baby.

It was sad seeing her go, cos even though we didn't click, I loved her (not as much as you love your dog though I think), but I figured that it was best for her.

Think of it as an act of kindness. If you can't give him what he needs and deserves - the loving thing to do is to give him to family who can. :yes:

No judgement here. I think it's more responsible to give away a loved pet in order to secure them a better life, than to keep them and offer them less than they deserve and get cranky at them all the time and whatnot. :) (Not saying you did that btw, but ykwim).

[Honeywood]

hi,
if obedience training at a school is out of the question google dog training and find some tips on training them at home.
set aside 10-15 min in morning and again in afternoon to spend with just him, teach hime simple comands like sit, stay, drop etc and remember to be repetitive with these commands it could take up to a couple of weeks but if you keep repeating them he will soon get the idea, also rewards for good behaviour and a sharp but deep no when misbehaving also works.
it sounds like you really love this dog and he's part of the family so if you really want him to stay them you have to make time for him otherwise a new home would be needed. and when it comes to new homes for the pups when advertising add " to approved home only" and you are well withing your right to ask to inspect where the pups will be going wouldnt want them going somewhere they wouldnt be looked after, interview them, have a list of questions ready to ask the potential owners. also first impretions(sp?) count if you dont like them then just say sorry they've all got homes.

goodluck with you decision hope things work out

krystal

[lulu 2]

I think your doing the right thing subaru ,find your dog a home where he fits in ,mabe he just needs someone who would take him to work everyday he sounds like he wants company. When we moved away from the farm we had to say good bye to our sheep dog it would have been cruel to bring her to the city so we gave her to a farmer and she is now his sheepdog I was sad but it was the right thing to do.

[subaruforestermum]

Honeywood - thanks for your suggestion, but he already sits, lays down, waits until he is commanded to eat......he refuses to stay, we have learnt the training techniques when we first got our other dog, but he just refuses to listen or he will try to sit on me....

I have thought about this a lot, and I have decided to WAIT until we sell the pups to make a final decision, for the simple fact that they take up a lot of time right now, and he has to get put on the chain while they play, as he is too big and clumbsy and steps on them...I am afraid he may break some feet or worse, cos he lays his big boof head on them and uses them as a pillow and wont move even though they yelp and squirm....

So after we get rid of the pups, I will see how his behaviour is, if he settles down more cos he will have a little more time with me than currently......

Thanks for all your imput ladies.... I'm still struggling to decide what to do, which is why I think it's best if I wait to make this decision when life settles down a bit without the pups to take care of too....which is a lot of work.

He is a pretty good dog, most of the time, my biggest fear is that he easily clears the fence now....I would hate to come home to find him lying on the side of the road or something... And cos he is such a nice looking dog, and so friendly, I am also worried someone will take him home and use him for pig hunting of something like that....He doesnt get out often any more....only on the odd occasion....

Such a hard decision to make....I really dont know what to do, but I know it may well be the best thing for him, it's just allowing myself to realise that which is the hard thing...

Thanks again...

[I love JJJ]

O.K, so I didn't read all posts but I will give you the best advice I can.
If you don't have time for obedience and your dogs doesn't travel well in the car, how about you get an obedience trainer to come to you at at a time the suits you best? They can do this day or evening and obedience is very beneficial.
Secondly, there are different things you can try to keep your dog in. There are electronic collars (gentle electric shocks) that shock the dog each time he goes to leave the boundary of the property. I have heard horror stories about some of them but really, there are ones that are gentle and quite safe to use- just ask your vet. A friend of mine used them for her 2 dogs and they never, ever, go outside the boundaries now.
My dog started to jump and I tried everything to keep her in and I was so scared she was going to get hit by a car or stolen so I erected a portable electric fence around the boundary of my property and once she got a shock, she never tried again. In fact, it's never on now and she never tries to jump.
If he is chewing things up it could be due to boredom or separation anxiety (the jumping is typical of both) and you can do a few things to rectify this. My pooch used to get MAJOR separation anxiety and I found that Kongs were invaluble. You can get them at any pet store, they are indestructible and can be filled with all types of food and even popped into the microwave to melt the food so it's harder for them to get out. This satisifes their hunting instint in working to get food and really does keep them entertained. I always wonder how they get all the food out, but they do! It's great for dogs that have alot of nervous energy.
Also, lots and lots of sturdy toys that are hard to destruct.
Seriously, my dog went through this stage for about 12 months but I am so glad that I stuck it out.
If you rescued this boy then chances are he has alot of anxiety from his past treatment, you being away from him (as you are the one who has been good to him) and you being pregnant.
If you give this boy away, chances are his problems will just go with him and he may just get passed from pillar to post which would be quite sad.
At the end of the day, you need to do what's best for all concerned and if you really don't have the time for him, you may need to rehome him but just make sure you are honest about all his issues with any prospective new owners.
Don't forget, he really still is a puppy.
Good luck hon.
:hugs:

[mum2bubba]

No judgements from me, we are giving our dog away. He is a good dog but he is a farm dog (kelpie x) and needs to have room to run around and all that. When we got him we had a big backyard. He was 8 weeks when we got him, hes now 2 years old. He is very boisterous (sp) and always jumps up on the kids and knocks them over, he is only playing though. We decided the best thing for him is to give him to someone who (hopefully) has a huge backyard, possible a farm where he can run around and be a working dog. It is the best thing for him. No matter how much he gets walked/attention etc he is still a crazy dog (not viscious though).

If you do decide to give him away/sell him then maybe talk to the new owners about still being able to see him? I know it sounds silly but you really love this dog but you can't handle him anymore but if you can still see him he is still part of your life even though you don't own him. Or take lots of photos (though I'm sure you have already) and write a poem about him (or get someone else to if you can't) thats what my grandparents did when they had to put their dog down. :(

[Heaven55]

I hear you and am not judging you as you are being brave enough to be honest and upfront about your dillema.
Im also a huge animal person but we have all made mistakes with pets,particularly with dogs.
As you said you didn't know you were going to get pregnant and it really sounds like the dogs might not fit in with your family and lifestyle atm.
It might be kinder to find them other homes-just make sure you're clear about the good and bad experiences you've had with them so they go to the right owner.
Ive also founbf,sad as this is, that when i've re-homes rabbits when I had an accidental litter,people weren't prepared to pay $5 for them but when I advertized free-to-good-home ppl suddenly wanted them in huge numbers.
I feel awful selling an animal when I just want them to go to a good home but unfortunately,by putting some sort of price tag on them,it weans out some of the ppl who won't even bother to take them to the vet if they're sick.
Good on you for being honest...ppl are particularly judgemental about some breeds of dogs,especially staffy's,bullies,ridgebacks,rotweilers etc which is most unfair cos once the dog has been trained and established in the right home and are treated they are just as good as any other dog.All animals just have different needs thats all.

It sounds like you are a responsible animal owner,have genuine concerns and Im sure you'll be a terrific mum too!

Good luck.

heaven55

[Heaven55]

PS-you say you rescued this dog and he has taken awhile to love you but can I just say that we are sometimes meant to be in eachothers lives for a short period,sometimes a lifetime.

I grew up in and out of foster care and although there were problems I did have some great foster parents for a time who taught me that I could be loved and there was normal families out there.

perhaps you've done as much as you can do for your dog by teaching him that there's safe and loving ppl in this world and he is now in a much better position to be handed onto someone else who mightn't have had the patience you have,now that he's been with you.

Don't be too hard on yourself.Its a tough situation but you've obviously at least succeeded in making him more trusting and done everything with the best of intentions.As you said,he's better off than when you rescued him and maybe now its time for him to move on again.

Heaven55

[Mrs Nietzsche]

Personally I think all dogs are a write-off til theya re about 2 or so,when they become 'adult' and settle down markedly. It doesn't matter how sensible the dog will eventually become, if you have a large young dog, it will be annoying (in my experience). So I would just wait it out.. on the other hand if you are fed up with a dog it's best to give it to a loving home.

[Leeny]

Due to the fact that this thread is 5 months old, I'm going to close it. Thanks ladies :)