all works out!!!

[Jo_Jo]

hi ladies,

just wondering how many mummys of blended familys there are??? i was with my first fella the father of my 2 oldest kids for 12 years we went our different ways 7 years ago, i have been with rod now for 6 years in november and we had ej last april, the kids love rod and they have been concerned about when ej talks more he will call rod by his name and not dad because larissa and cody call him rod!! the kids see there dad now and again and realize the man he is, i never comment on him and to me he is like dead!!! he comes in and out when he wants into there lives and they are at the age where they love him but have no respect for him and to them rod is a real dad, they have both asked me if they should call rod dad?? and would he like that, rod dosent have a issue and teared up a little when i told him "big softy" i told the kids do what they feel is right for them and speak to rod about it, my 11 year old cody said but what if rissy calls him dad and im not ready yet, i said whenever your ready mate!! but he really stumped me with that one??? cheers...jo:wave:

[aggero]

This is certainly an interesting one and one that I am sort of facing (or certainly will be facing) soon.

I have been with my DH since my DSD was 2. She can't remember a time when I wasn't in her life and as when she was smaller used to comment on how we were all there when she was born :) . Anyway to cut a long story short she calls me by my first name and always has. However she calls her mothers most recent partner Dad. It hurt my DH a lot when he first heard her call him that and I must admit that I was a little upset on my own behalf as he hasn't even been around for a year but has been magically granted this honour.

We discussed this amongst ourselves and then with DSD and told her that she could call me and her mothers partner whatever she felt comfortable. She explained that the reason she calls her mothers partner 'dad' is because her much younger half brother calls him dad as do the guys 2 kids who come visit and she was feeling left out.

Recently she has taken to calling my smum (short for stepmum) which is cute ;)

I am sure things will become even more complicated when we have our bub and I become 'mum' to someone.

[my babyemmy]

it will work itself out Jo, im sure everything will be fine!
EJ will understand that he is his dad:hugs:
My youngest son used to call me LEE and his step dad he always called dad:laughing:

[MummyCharmzy]

We have a blended family.

I started seeing DP when DS was only a couple of months old, obv DP is not DS's father.

DP already had a son who was around 15ish months then

DP and I have since had a daughter together and will shortly have another DD together!!

Can't get much more blended than that lol :D

[Starlet]

I have a blended family too.

There are my two boys from a previous relationship.

There is my DP's ex's daughter(not biologically his).

And DP's daughter.

My two boys call my DP 'Daddy Matt'.

The girls call me 'Mummy Trace'.

DP and I have been calling each other 'mummy' and 'daddy' in front of the kids(his DD is only 1 1/2 and has started calling DP 'Matt' instead of daddy coz I call him Matt in front of them.


BTW we are TTC atm, so we have one hell of a blended family!!

[Blessed Mum]

I am so excited about this section :smiliedance: . I am stepmum to two children aged almost 15 & 17years old. DH & I have an almost 10yr old son Kyle & 4 month old daughter Charlotte Rose. Looking forward to sharing & learning & having people to talk to who understand.

And Jo it will work itself out. Try not to let it worry you. It sounds like you guys are handling things well.:thumbsup:

Cheers Tara

[jasminesmum]

Hi Jo,

My eldest son is from a previous relationship. I have been with my current dh since my ds was 4. He calls him by his name. He still occasionly sees his real dad but not that often anymore. I think he has realised he doesnt have much in common with him. My dh is more of a dad to him.
When my second son was born he just called my dh, daddy. He wasn't confused at all.
I wouldn't worry about it Jo. They will do what they feel comfortable doing.And I'm sure Ethan will know his daddy is daddy.:thumbsup:

All the best,
Michelle :wave:

[Jem]

DD is from a previous relationship...
DP has a 4 year old from a previous relationship...
Dp and i have 2 ds's together :D

[Jo_Jo]

Hey ladies,
great to see so many blended family,s its like we all came out of the closet...lol and yes things do all work out i so love to watch rod with the kids he has grown so much since we first met and so much more understanding and i have too as i have not had to be the step parent in our situation so alot of understanding and time is the key as you ladies would know!!!!


cheers...jo:thumbsup:

[dannii]

jojo your story is familiar to me.. as my 2 older kids are to a previous relationship as well.
Ive been with my DF for 6 years and the 2 older kids still see their dad and always have called my DF Nat. but only of recent has my DD1 asked if its ok to call him Dad.
i always said i would never make them but she wanted to on her own and its great.
DS1 isnt ready for that either, so thats fine. Nat has been around since they were little, so hes always been there for them and is a great dad.

He also has a daughter to his ex, which we get to see on holidays plus we together just had a baby. so we have 4 kids, a major blended family. can be quite confusing for some!! :D

i didnt know we had a section for this so its great!

[StormAngel]

Hey all,

Just thought id add that i have 3 kids (12, 10, 8) from my first marriage and my DH & I have 1 (20mths) together.

[mythreelittlemonkeys]

My Dh has 1 daughter and 1 son from previous relationship...I have known them for past year really although DH and I have been together for 3 (as we were in UK) and his relationship with ex was and still is really rocky...we are expecting our first next month so alot ahead of us...I get on really well with DSD (but she a really Daddys girl and thinks sun shines out of both of us) DSS a harder relationship he only 4 and very loyal to his mummy (so he should be!) and still not 100% sure about me...we get to have them about once a month DH has shared custody but he works away...I have DSD on her own sometimes (her choice) for weekends...which is great!!
this is great that there is a section for us 'blended' mob! :D

[pipilongstocking]

Hey there.Good to see this thread up and running as i often wonder do people have glorious step kids or whether it's just me being a psycho:devil6: !!
I am mum to Harry 14 months,and have a 12 y.o stepson who has been with us for 5 years.As long as it has been I just can't seem to develop that bond with him.
We have had some really great times,but unfortunatley more negative than positive,and i do understand that he has come from his mothers(who has some issues) and the whole settling into a new life thing,but we are past that now,so I am wondering when it gets better and does anyone else have that experience with their stepkids?
His dad does the dicsiplining but even he is throwing his hands up in the air and he has the most patience i know of!~ I feel like i'm a **** parent,so how can i parent Harry if i can't do it right with the other one!:crying:

[ILOVEMYBOYS04]

hey girls! Im new to bub hub and just wanted to say hi! I too am part of a blended parent and am a step mum. I have a 4 yr old step son and my and my husband have 2 beautiful boys ourselves. I met lachy(DSS) just before he was 2 and we had a horrible relationship for the first yr or so it was dreadful!!! i was preg with my 1st and we were seeing lachy every weekend and he made it very clear that he just wanted his dad ( mind you his mum had not let my husband see him for the first 16months!) i became so bitter towards him i hated weekends!!!me and my husband would fight every day about lachy, about how i wasnt accepting him, didnt love him like i did mine, blah blah it went on and on. i wanted to leave my husband soo bad but didnt want my baby to be in this situation. but when Lachy came to live with us for good just over a year ago ( his mum has all sorts of dramas and still does ) that did wonders!!! things started to pick up after the birth of my 1st son but him coming to live with us helped loads! he moved from calling me amanda to mummy manda then mummy when his mum cleared out for a few months. for the last year we have had our moments ( and prob we will always) but i truly feel now i love him like my own and know he loves me too. i am no longer bitter toward him, but still have to tackle the "blended family " bit a bit more, Im more bitter towards his mother because of the way she acts and everything!! i now have 2boys of my own and consdier lachy my 3rd baby so it just shows that even the worst situations can turn around and become beautiful!. oh also to say that bacuse i am the primary care giver to lachy i have a responsibility to him as a young boy TO disipline him ( if i didnt then who would??? his mum doesnt and my husband is away at work all day!!) i want lachy to lean right from wrong and be a good example to his 2 younger brothers ( there are a few things that only my husband willdo (disiplin wise) with lachy but other then that all the 3 boys are treated the same.
Thanks girls for reading!
ME -AMANDA (15/02/87)
DH - SHANE (03/10/76)
DSS-LACHLAN (18/03/02)
DS - ELIJAH (05/09/04)
DS - NOAH (21/03/06)