What's going on (venting)

[lenka]

This time last week my 6m old was settling herself in her cot at the end of the day with barely a whimper. The last two days, we've had over an hour of her struggling, rolling, kicking, crying, crying harder, crying herself into hysteria, crying her mother into near-hysteria, crying until its actually feeding time and she can get herself to sleep at the breast...

Rational me says its just a phase, probably something to do with the light this time of year. Irrational and sleep deprived me says that I've done something wrong, had her out too much so she's been sleeping in the pram instead of the cot, or I shouldn't have let her have a nap after her feed time the other day. Or blames my partner, because he worked two long shifts and then spent the next day cuddling her when she slept because he'd missed her.

I feel like I have so much junk in my head about "right" and "wrong" ways to get baby to sleep that any time something goes awry I get sucked back into this cycle of blame. I am not asking for advice - I am OVER advice. Everything I've been told has helped for maybe a day or two, but the more I get caught up in "techniques", the more I seem stuck in some kind of battle-of-wills with her, and then in a circle of doubt and frustration instead of feeling confident and responsive. I end up getting angry at her for not responding to my "tricks", instead of being able to hear and figure out what she needs.

I know I'm just tired and feeling blah, but needed to dump this somewhere.

[CLR]

Hi Lenka
I am having the exact same problem as you and feel the same way. My 6 month old boy, was sleeping quite well, we had a nice little routine going, wrap, pop him in his cot, give him a bit of a pat, maybe sing a song, a bit of a rock if it was a bad day and he was out... with little or no crying. Well, as of last week, this has gone out the window to be the hysteria you describe, kicking, screaming blue murder, i can't even settle him in my arms. It takes me an hour to try and get him to sleep, or back to sleep, then i end up feeding him to sleep, as i'm so upset myself and i want the whole episode to be over! I too blame myself, being out and about too much perhaps over school holidays, conveniently timing sleeps in the car or pram or at the shops etc and analyse where did i go wrong and how did this happen. To go from so good, to a disaster - well thats how it feels today anyway. My bag of tricks has run out too. I've brought the pram inside now and found a nice little bump on the floor and thats about all that works now. I never thought i'd resort to that, but i really don't know what to do. I feel very defeated at the moment and don't know which advice is the best, so i try a bit of everything, which lacks consisetency which probably isn't helping things.

The latest advice i've been given, is that is pretty common at the 6 month mark - developmental changes, like rolling and becoming more aware means that sleep isn't priority no.1 anymore. Parent help line suggest staying home for a few days and leaving him to settle himself, going in for a few minutes when he sounds too upset... this made things worse i think, then he came down with a cold, so decided to just go with the flow for now and try not to upset him too much as he's not feeling 100%.

Let me know if you find anything that works. I know how you feel. all the best.

[kalinajane]

Hi Girls,

Hang in there. I found 6 months was a bit of a poo-ey time with DD. They tend to have a massive growth spurt, often 1st teeth are coming.

At 6 months my dream night sleeper had all sorts of trouble for a few weeks. Didn't help that she got a cold and the week after she was over it she had her growth spurt, first 2 teeth cut and her shots - all in one week! She needed lots of cuddles during this time and even had to sleep with me a couple of nights. But once she felt better she was happy as ever in her own bed. At about 7 months she also changed from sleeping 13 hours at night to about 11, going to bed later.

And don't beat yourself up about taking baby out too much! You need a life, you can't just stay home every day for a routine. I know lots of babies that only know how to sleep in bed, so their parents are always rushing home and having to leave places/parties/bbqs/etc at nap time. At 9 months, she naps in her pram/the car/my arms/the sling at least once every couple of days and it's great. It means I know I can go anywhere with her and she'll be happy.

You bubs are at a great age cos they're just getting really aware of everything. Makes for a few sleepless nights, but they start to become so much fun. Enjoy!

[kath87]

Hi girls, First of all know that you are both doing an awesome job and try not to be so hard on your selves, the thing with babys up untill about 12 months is just when you think you have them in a great routine something changes. My dd is 15 months old and i went throught exactly what your decribing quite a few times at differents points but it started at around 6 months and the main two things that i found was the problem was teething and her feeds needing to be put up( i bottle feed so if your breastfeeding it may be time to start thinking about solids) i know it sounds silly but there were a few phone calls to my mum where i was like i have tried every thing and she is still crying and mum would say just say go and offer her more food and see what happenes and most of the time that was it, she had had a growth spert and i just haddent noticed or there was a tooth moving around and bit of bonjella and/or some panadol did the trick. Dont stress yourself out following the so called "right" and "wrong" ways of sleeping you go with what is working for you at the time. Your not silly, your never going to put your beautiful little bubs in harms way so just do what if feeling right or working at the time even if it just means getting them off to sleep that one time then you can go calm down and start again after there sleep. I hope this may help. Good luck with it and just remember tomorrow is a new day
Kath

[lenka]

good to hear I'm not on my own in this. We have had a variety of sleep troubles since about 5 months - last night she went down with less struggle, but then woke up once an hour between 10:30 and 3:30 when she has her feed, then didn't get back to sleep before 4:30, cried at 6, had a bad attack of wind at 7...

So it feels like if its not one thing its another. She seems to have a very sensitive gut, so occassionally when we feed her lots of solids we get a good nights sleep, but more often we just get a night of stomach ache. The teething thing comes and goes as well, and it IS an issue that she can and will move around (last night she clobbered her head on the side of the cot around 4am). We have tried to follow all the basic recommendations - no feeding to sleep, settle in the cot, bedtime routines, don't pick her up when she cries at night... but it all appears to have little impact. I don't feel like there's much to do except wait for her to grow out of it. Hard to stay upbeat though.

L

[creodemilda]

ohh i feel the same, and understand exacly how u feel
but my baby is waking up (when shes good) every 2 hours at night, since she was 3 months
now shes 6

i have tried EVERYTHING (but no cc).. i just get stressed, and dont know what to do anymore.. the association shse gets with sucking its terible (she just sleep on the boob, and even if i get her to sleep without the boob she will just resettle on the night waking with the boob again...)

i just dont know what to do anymore..i dont have a life anymore, cant do anything but breastfeed!!!!!!!!

hope things gets better for all of us!!!! :):fingerscrossed: