First "ours" baby

[faye81]

My husband has three step children and we also have a 13 week old "ours" baby...

We recently had them stay for 9 days for the first time since Odyn was born. I found it really hard.

My partner found it so hard to balance his time between the kids and his friends and me as he works FIFO too...we have the kids the whole time he is home...

I felt I didn't have enough time for my step kids and spent lots of time caring for the baby and preparing meals and started to look forward to them leaving. I love my step kids so much but having my own baby has made me realise the gap between my feelings for them and my feelings for my baby...but it has also bought us closer as a family if that makes sense...

Does anyone have similar experiences?

[Rubyzz]

My husband has three step children and we also have a 13 week old "ours" baby...

We recently had them stay for 9 days for the first time since Odyn was born. I found it really hard.

My partner found it so hard to balance his time between the kids and his friends and me as he works FIFO too...we have the kids the whole time he is home...

I felt I didn't have enough time for my step kids and spent lots of time caring for the baby and preparing meals and started to look forward to them leaving. I love my step kids so much but having my own baby has made me realise the gap between my feelings for them and my feelings for my baby...but it has also bought us closer as a family if that makes sense...

Does anyone have similar experiences?

Your hubby has three children that are not his bio children? Sorry Im just a bit confused....he had three step children from a previous marriage is that right?
Yes its hard to give anyone one much attention when you have a baby, hell its hard just to have a cuppa or make it into the shower, so dont feel too bad. When the baby is older you and hubby will find more time, right now its all a juggling act and that pretty normal, hopefully there will be many more times you get the kids and can give them a bit more attention. Yes yes and yes once you have a baby it becomes obvious the difference of giving birth and other children, I think the love is very different..... I myself cant fathom how to love my partners children as if a I gave birth to them, the closest I could imagine being their mother is if they didnt have their own mother, I find it more of an aunt role which is still a caring role.

[faye81]

Hi Rubyzz
Sorry that was a typo - they are my step kids but his bio kids! Baby brain in full force when I was typing that...

Yeah i think I just have to chill out a bit more and try not to be a "supermum"...not that I even achieve it so may as well stop trying!! HaHa

Thanks so much for your fast response...chat again soon...duty calls right now

[alphafemale2901]

I have the same feelings and have in the past esperienced a great deal of guilt. DH and I have a 9 1/2 month old and I also have a 13 year old from a previous relationship. I find it impossible to love my Skids the same as my own and I think that is really normal. Don't sweat it.