When to let consequences rule?

[meredithlinda]

We are big believers in disciplining through consequences, either natural or created, but I just wanted a bit of feedback on a situation from this morning. DD (2.5) had left her puzzle book out with all it's pieces and I warned her if she didn't pick it up then DS (6 months) would get to it and suck on all the pieces and ruin it. I warned her to pick it up several times, and sure enough DS got to it. I ended up picking up the bits myself, but I felt like I was doing the wrong thing.
Should I have just let DS suck on the bits, so a couple get ruined, and then DD learns not to leave things around (or at least listen to me when I tell her to pick them up)? I can't imagine that would foster good relations with her brother though, and I don't want her to resent him.
Or should I have created a consequence in that situation, such as sending her to time out for not listening, rather than going with natural consequences?
I know this isn't a huge deal, but it's kind of the principle of thing - I told her to do something, that I ended up doing myself - which isn't right. I don't know if I've explained it very well, but I'd be interested in what other people would have done - as I said I wasn't happy with how I handled it.

[SassyMummy]

I remember hearing somewhere the consequence should relate to the problem... so it makes more sense to little minds.

So sending a kid to time out for not picking up toys... it doesn't relate to the act of not putting toys away as much as just leaving the toys to get ruined.

However, I wouldn't let them get ruined - I spent good money on DDs stuff, and I'm too poor to let stuff like that happen...

So with DD, who's a bit over 3, she gets them taken off of her. She gets AMPLE opportunity to pack them up. She gets told, numerous times, to pack them up. Then she gets told that if she doesn't, then I'll do it, but she won't get to play with them as they'll go into the cupboard until she can learn to look after her things better.

DD spends majority of hte week with another little girl... and the two of them have lost quite a few toys lately. It's only a new concept to them, but they're learning quite quickly. They were eager to pack up today, because they're learning that non-compliance when it comes to putting their toys away results in not having those toys to play with... which they obviously don't want to happen.

ETA - if you're going to threaten, then follow through. Otherwise they learn that Mummy just delivers empty threats. There's no point in threatening if you just let them get away with it.

[SuperGranny]

hi , I would have left the puzzle sit there,. If i saw the young one eating pieces I would call the older child to rescue the puzzle. I dont think there would be cross feelings towards the baby, at least not serious cross feelings. It would show the result of not watching out for what little ones can do. Post it forward a couple of years and it could be older childs school work being damaged by baby, or that sort of thing. The lesson is taking care of your own things, and facing consequences of not doing so. I did most of my child rearing on consequences, and i think my adult children are pretty good people. good luck, marie.

[WorkingClassMum]

I love consequences and McDonalds Toys

"If you leave your toys all over the floor I'm throwing them in the bin", and then I put a couple of placcy Maccy crappy things in the bin. Works a treat.

The best one was letting the dog chew up a favourite Macca's toy - hmmm consequences! Luv'em :yes:

See - Macca's toys - even from the Op Shop have their uses!