Families can be together forever

[kymmy]

who intends on co-sleeping until their children leave home!
or they leave the bed?

[oceanblue]

My sister who is 17 has slept with my mum on a regular basis until she went to brasil on exchange at the start of the year. My mum is a single mum and has always had an open bed for us 4 kids.

My daughter has co slept since she was 1 days old - the nurse at the hospital put the rail up on the bed and told me to sleep with her. My daughter has never really slept in a cot and moved in to a her own single size bed in her room when she was 17 months. Now she is 20 months and in the mornings she wakes up and comes in my room to wake me up.

The only reason i moved her out of my bed is her dad and i separated and i wanted her to be able to sleep with out me when she spends the night with him. Oh and she wiggles to much and i had enough of being woken up by her kicking me in the head.

I think co sleeping is great and i really enjoyed all the special moments we shared suggled up together.

[whatwasithinking]

Hannah and I co-sleep when daddy is away with work - occassionally she will sleep on her fold out couch in our room if it is thundering or her sister is having an unsettled night (they share a room).

[razzle]

We don't co-sleep, but occassionally Eloise will come in for a cuddle with me and/or DP in the mornings. When I was still living at home I used to creep into my mum's bed if I had a nightmare or was unsettled, probably right up until I was about 16 or so. Eloise will always be welcome to come and have a cuddle with us.

[Goosie22]

but i have to ask if you co sleep when partners away what about when he's home does he agree with co sleeping? and what bout the intermacy between you and dh what happens with this or does his and your needs go down the loo iam sorry but dont agree with co sleeping see me and dh this is our time ! and children got to their beds that where they sleep..... and i agree with jo frost there!

If you and your partner are a non smoking non drug taking people there are very few risks involved, if your breastfeeding and have a good posture support bed its even less. It is actually safer for your child to sleep with you than in another room cold and alone. Mothers heart rate, breathing sounds and body temperature all help the new baby regulate her temperature and breathing.

As for marrital relationships of the horizontal kind:kiss: I can assure you there are better places for "IT" than in bed. My relationship is intimate all through out the day and night ;) .

Ps who is Jo Frost????

[MariaO]

Jo Frost is Supernanny!

Whatever works for a family - We did not, and do not cosleep usually although Aoife was in the same room as us until she was about 8 months. When I was back in Ireland at the start of the year, after my husband came back here, Aoife often slept with me.

[mysonroger]

i couldn't co sleep. my sleep is too important for me ..... i need to be fully charged for the day ahead of running around after my two children . i have had DD or DS in bed when they has been particularly unsettled and i didn't get quality sleep. ...but will do it again , of course, if they are especially unsettled. and besides the banter between my DH and i in bed at night is so funny.....we are usually in fits of laughter. its so much fun. its our little ritual and as much a part of our bonding as other stuff. and our children don't feel less loved. i think they enjoy their own space because we've often found them in their cots in their own rooms just sitting there babbling away while waiting for me to get up in the morning.

(and no, i am not obsessed with the idea of early separation from my children....its just that i choose not to cosleep.)

my nephew , at age 13, still jumps into bed with his mum and dad in the wee hours of the morning. its fine with all three of them. its not because of natural parenting in particular, its because my sister said that they couldn't be bothered going through whatever it was going to take to break the habit, so they left it. i think they all secretly love it.
whereas i am a night time traveller. people hate sharing beds with me because they get no space to themselves . i cover every corner of the bed and feel trapped if i have to just lie down one side of the bed. thank God we have a king size, but i wouldn't mind just a slightly bigger bed.

[MariaO]

well exactly - different strokes for different folks. My sister in law co-slept with her daughter, my brothers step daughter until she was about 9. She would not have called it attachment parenting but she was listening to her daughters needs (I think). I found, anytime I did co-sleep, that I did not sleep well at all as I was not confident that I would not roll over and squash my baba. I much prefer having our bed to ourselves.

[Goosie22]

[Quote referencing removed post - deleted by moderator]

Sids & Cosleeping Facts Sheet (http://www.babyreference.com/Cosleeping&SIDSFactSheet.htm)

This site sums it up but there are more indepth studies.

I dont think cosleeping is for everyone you do what you like, I am just pointing out that it is perfectly safe and to some preferable.

[Rainbowbrite]

As for marrital relationships of the horizontal kind I can assure you there are better places for "IT" than in bed. My relationship is intimate all through out the day and night

Agree 110% :o

MJ is a year old soon & we have co-slept most of her life :thumbsup: It is the most natural thing in my & my husbands opinion. I always know where MJ is so never roll on her, same as I never rolled on my puppies when they slept with me or out of my bed. With MJ waking numerous times through the night for bf it is the only thing that keeps me sane. I would much rather lift my top for her to bf than get out of bed to a screaming baby, freezing the whole time. With co-sleeping i dont have to be fully awake to do it, & MJ & I drift straight back off to sleep.

So yes, we will continue cosleeping till MJ is ready to stop, same with bf :smiliedance: Theres nothing better on these freezing cold nights than DH cuddling me while I cuddle MJ :hugs:

[faery]

I love co-sleeping!!!!!:smiliedance:
my 8 week old has a side car cot and he slept there for the first 6 weeks, waking evry 2 hours or less, and being fussy. so i just decided to pull him in with us and since that first full night together he sleeps for 4 or 5 hours straight!!!:sleeping:
happy mumma, happy baby!

[nemosmum]

Co sleeping is great but not for everyone,

We did it for the first couple of weeks when bubs was a newbie and during the day for naps until bubs was 6 months old and started crawling.

We used a snuggle bed and it was very safe.:thumbsup:

We dont co sleep any more as our ds has allergies and needs a very sunny, airy sleep enviornment so its not an issue for us anymore.

But back to the original topic:

Would I co sleep with my child when they hit 17+?

Nope, sorry I think they need their own space and hey so do I:D

[kimmariee]

My DH and I co-slept with our first son for the first 3 years because my DH is from Samoa and it is a big thing in their culture, mainly because i think thay never used cots so baby would come in with them untill about 5 then they would go in a bed with their older brothers or sisters. I admit in the first few weeks after he was born it was easy. But i would never do it again for that long, i didn't like it as our son got bigger, he wouldn't go to sleep untill we did and he would never sleep on his own, i just found it hard not having time at night to myself and my DH. When i fell pregnant with my 2nd child it took me nearly my whole pregnancy to get him into his own bed but i finally did it. Then when the new baby was born he was in the same room with us but just not in our bed, sure i would b/f him in bed but then always put him back into his cot.

My Dh now likes that the kids don't sleep with us he says he gets a better nights sleep and its our time. Sure if the kids are sick we might bring them into our bed as it is comforting for them and i can keep an eye on them.

So i think if you can do it great but its not for everyone.
Also i think 17 is a bit too old.
One other thing if you co-slept and then decided to have another baby would you put the older child into their own bed or would you just all sleep together? My sister-in-laws from my Dh family do this they sleep with the new baby and the toddler as they have them close in age, when the older one gets to about 5 they go into another bed normally with their brothers or sisters. I'm sorry i couldn't do this it would be just too hard and alot of the time the husband does not sleep with them. The only reason they do it is because they find it too hard to put them in their own bed!

[oceanblue]

Just so you know my sister only used to sleep with my mum about once a month. I personally dont see anything wrong with it. The last time my family came to visit i didnt have enough beds so my mum slept with me in my bed for the weekend.

[Quote referencing removed post - deleted by moderator]

One night when we were going through a stage of having bub sleep in a cot - i fell asleep siting on the couch feeding her luckily i must of only dozed off for about 5 mins but it really scared me. At least with co sleeping it didnt matter if i fell asleep during a feed i knew we were both safe.

And with regaurds to the whole intamacy thing when i was still with my ex we never had sex infront of our daughter it was something i didnt feel comfortable with. Our intamate relationship didnt suffer though there are more place to have sex than in a bed and at night. Be creative ;)

[Goosie22]

[Quote referencing removed post - deleted by moderator]

This is an article from the Courier Mail written by Dr Sarah Buckley.

Cosleeping (http://www.womenofspirit.asn.au/docs/sb_co_sleeping.txt) :smiliedance:

[onabreak]

I don't agree with co sleeping at all. My bed is my time with my husband. I would have no room left if my DD was in there with us aswell. Plus my husband is a heavy sleeper and snorer so my DD and I would not get any sleep at all as she would not be able to sleep. My daughter has her own cot and is in there right now all warm and safe and sleeping well.

But like everyone else has said each to there own..........

[Goosie22]

I am not trying to convince you or anyone to go and co-sleep with your children, its obviously the most unnatural thing to you.

The papers and articles that I have read lead me to think that Cosleeping is the way for my family.

[Quote referencing removed post - deleted by moderator]

Dr James Mckenna (http://www.naturalchild.com/james_mckenna/)

[mysonroger]

[text deleted by moderator]
i have no fear of co-sleeping and i have no interest in using it in my family.

[Frazzled]

If you and your partner are a non smoking non drug taking people there are very few risks involved, if your breastfeeding and have a good posture support bed its even less.


Goosie, why is it said that if you breastfeed it is safer? Just curoius?

[Goosie22]

Hi KateP.

Sids (http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/T102100.asp) form Dr Sears



A study from New Zealand shows that SIDS was three times higher in babies who were not breastfed. The risk factor for SIDS from not breastfeeding was even higher than from maternal smoking.


NZ study article (http://www.mothering.com/articles/new_baby/sleep/taylor.html)

[Frazzled]

Ok, yep i knew that - but there is no link between breastfeeding and safer co-sleeping?

[Goosie22]

Ok, yep i knew that - but there is no link between breastfeeding and safer co-sleeping?

Its just that if your breastfeeding your baby has less risk of SIDS overall, and the more frequent night feedings rousings keep the baby in a lighter type sleep.

[mysonroger]

Its just that if your breastfeeding your baby has less risk of SIDS overall, and the more frequent night feedings rousings keep the baby in a lighter type sleep.


same reasons why dummies have been put forward to help prevent SIDS

[jessgray]

my DS hardly sleeps with us now he loves his new pull out sofa so much he will curl up and sleep there! :laughing: so we have already sorta stopped co-sleeping with DS and he is 1.

[Rainbowbrite]

Just a gentle reminder ladies, this thread was posted in the Natural/Attachment Parenting section & co-sleeping is a big part of AP. And Goosie22, thanks for posting those links, they are full of supportive information for those that believe in co-sleeping :)

Any more rude, crass, argumentative posts will be moderated.

[Goosie22]

KateP,
Here is some more Co-sleeping (http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T071000.asp) information.
G:)

[Funkychicken]

I absolutely adore co-sleeping. I/we do it because it works for us. I have read many articles/books/opinions from those who do it and I know these people speak from experience. You don't go to your neighbour for an opinion on something they have never done if you want a first hand opinion and I can't imagine how someone like Jo Frost could offer such an opinion. She has no children so how could she possibly know how it FEELS to co-sleep?:)

[Funkychicken]

I haven't seen the show about the nanny-I don't watch much TV and can't stand any kind of 'reality' TV. I read a magazine at my mums recently and I was appalled at the advice given out to the mum asking a question. In fact I got really riled by it and had all these thoughts about writing to the mag to ask how they could condone such stuff but then realised, being a glossy, this is the point of glossy mags-to get people talking about it which in turn gives them a form of free advertising.
I think I'll stick to doing what feels right for me. I love this natural/attachment parenting forum and I don't want to see it used for the purpose of arguing points.:D

[zactyl]

Good article supporting co-sleeping in this week's British Sunday Times.
Children 'should sleep with parents until they're five' (http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2087-2179265,00.html)

[Mummy-2-2]

I love the idea of co-sleeping, and really wish I could do it but I am a REALLY heavy sleeper.

I respect everyones opinions and wish others could too.

You know there is more than one doctor who has molested patients and more than one doctor who has killed someone because they are dying anyway. Is it right, no.

Just because someone has a qualification doesnt make them god, doesnt mean that everyone has to listen to them either.

People have different methods and cosleeping is a contraversial one.

Sometimes when babies are really tiny they are unable to keep their own body temp constant. Co sleeping helps that due to the warmth from another body. When my daughter is sick, she comes instinctively to me for hugs, when she is sad, the same thing. If she wakes in the night, she wants hugs, so what is so bad about having hugs every night?

If you dont like it. Dont do it. Simple. Just dont judge someone else for doing something just cos you dont like it.

[Funkychicken]

I thought about posting more on this last night but decided to let it go. I do feel now though that I need to say something here. This thread is about co-sleeping and it comes under the Natural/attachment parenting forum. A forum for those who believe in natural/attchment parenting and it's applications-just as there is a thread for breastfeeding and one for bottle feeding. I'm sure if I went into the bottle feeding forum and gave my opinions there would be an outcry! Imagine the response I would be given!
I realise this is a public forum but surely those of us who believe in parenting a certain way should be entitled to use this thread for discussion and ideas, not to have to justify why we choose to do something such as co-sleep.:)

[rynosmum]

Great post Sal and you are completely correct that this is the Natural/Attachment Parenting section and the OP certainly never asked for opinions on co-sleeping, just if you will do it until bubs leaves the bed.

We never co-slept at night but often cuddled for naps in the morning and during the day and there isn't much better feeling than cuddling your little one and watching them sleep so peacefully.

DS isn't keen on having naps with Mummy now although I certainly grab as many snuggles and cuddles as I can every day.

Ladies, I'm going to clean this thread up a little to get it all back on topic.

[misskittyfantastico]

I co-slept with my parents until I was seven. I went to bed in my room and had a stry etc..and when I woke up I trundled off to the loo and detoured into mum and dad's bed.:thumbsup: One day I just stopped the detour!

[Funkychicken]

Thanks Katrina for the support.:)

[Malin]

We co sleep and proud of it!!!
My son is soon 4 years old, we have a queens size bed next to a king size single.
We are 3 people and 2 dogs wow this may freak you lot out LOL..
But at a too long stage before we didn't have the king size single my husband was sleeping in the spare room, not the best arrangment, but in the end he came to realise that this the best bonding time a family can have...
To some out there that think sexual activities can only be had in a bed, you just have to get more creative LOL.
It's is such a shame that so many people these days are so miss informed about co sleeping, the biggerst factors to cot death is to leave a poor baby in a cot, never to smells a mothers breast to have a feed before it's absolutly starving. Then have a tired mum shove a bottle in the babies mounth..

I'm not here to judge, but I'm getting sick and tired of people thinking only modern parenting is best for babies...

Cheers Malin

[zactyl]

I'm getting sick and tired of people thinking only modern parenting is best for babies...
Everything old is new again! Attachment Parenting and Co-sleeping IS modern parenting. Anyone promoting babies sleeping alone is relying on out of date information (decades out of date in fact).

[Malin]

Hi Zactyl!

You do have a very good point, I was just very lucky to have a excellent mother my self, she co sleept with us, and she raised us to be free spirited induviduals.
as you said old is new, I can live with that!!
Cheers Malin

[WeThree]

Everything old is new again! Attachment Parenting and Co-sleeping IS modern parenting. Anyone promoting babies sleeping alone is relying on out of date information (decades out of date in fact).

actually, its not a modern concept at all, woman have been sleeping with, wearing their bubs, bf their babies for eons, its only the second half of the 20th century or so that putting babies to sleep on their own etc became the done thing.

[Goosie22]

I co-slept with my mother and my siblings "Family Bed" style, I can remember my mother Breastfeeding my little sister right next to me.

My Nana, would try to convince us to come sleep with her, because she loved having little bodies in her bed of coarse we would all flock to jump in bed with Nana. In her day all the kids slept in the one bed if not in with mum and dad anyway.

[Funkychicken]

I co-slept with my mother and my siblings "Family Bed" style, I can remember my mother Breastfeeding my little sister right next to me.

My Nana, would try to convince us to come sleep with her, because she loved having little bodies in her bed of coarse we would all flock to jump in bed with Nana. In her day all the kids slept in the one bed if not in with mum and dad anyway.
:laughing: I started singing "Grandma's Feather Bed" when I read this. I love that song and the idea of nana-bed sharing. When we go to stay at my parents house the children always jump into bed with their Nana And Gramps in the mornings. My DD recently had a W/E there and I think she spent more time in bed with Nana than in her bed.:D

[kymmy]

WOW!
I posted this a week ago and I come back
and here is pages
with edits
Why did i miss that?

Anyway, I brought it up cos I am an advocate for co-sleeping
especially when breastfeeding
I get more sleep that way
My older kids usually sleep together
They feel safer
And so do we
Do you remember when a young girl
was taken from her bed during the night a few years back?
That scared my hubby and I

As for marital intimacy
That happens at any time during the day-
not at night
Night time is for sleep
Thankyou very much