Signed, Sealed, Delivered and Express Postage Paid.... Julian Alexander

[OJandMe]

I have come to the conclusion that I don't labour.

I don't. I just kind of drop babies where I stand.

All well and good when you need to book a birth into a lunch hour, but not so fantastic when you have three other children to put to bed, and the person who is supposed to be there 'in case' you go into labour has nicked off to the shops to buy smokes.

I'm a 'rapid birther' (as I heard it called by a couple of the middies). In the 60 minutes it took me to have my first 'proper' contraction, finish dinner, bath O and J, read them 4 stories, call my midwife, get to the hospital and have a baby I hadn't really thought about 'what' kind of 'birther' I was.

I was hoping that after last time (http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?t=116570) I'd have a more, um, relaxed birth.

But no :laughing: Not to be..... I suppose I'd better fill you in...

On Friday 19th September I started getting what I 'thought' were labour pains... contractions coming... well coming and going, not really hanging around for any mentionable length of time, and not regular either.. kind of like that guy you dated when you were 13 because his friends asked you out for him, but never spoke to at school because you were both so shy...

So I called my midwife, told her I was going to take some panadol and go to bed, but just to be on the alert 'in case' I called up panicking at 3am because I'd woken up with a new baby in the bed.

They stopped. Dead. Nothing. Zilch. Nada.

Yep, braxtons.

Nothing all day Saturday... finished an assignment. Sounds good. Quite proud of it. :p

Dinner time Saturday, 20th September.

5:30pm
Sitting around the dinner table I get another contraction. I call out to Carlo, who's doing the manly thing and washing dishes.
"I'm getting them again... maybe it's an evening thing.."

We finish dinner, clean up. Then MIL (she's staying with us to watch the boys when I go into labour) and I run the bath and get all the kids ready for their showers/baths. Carlo clears the dinner table and gets Gabby's bottle and night nappy organised.

5:55

Kids in the bath. I get another one...

"Ooh... felt that." I thought to myself. They were much stronger than last night... I thought it may be the start of something.

6:10
Reading the kids their books before bed. I get a contraction in the middle of Brown Bear Brown Bear What Do You See?..

For anyone who's ever had it happen, you'll know it's like trying to read while getting punched in the gut. You can't just keep flowing.... and even worse is when your 3yr olds then start complaining that you're not reading it 'properly' and want you to do it again.

Hell no. They can just live with the fact that Brown Bear has a speech impediment this week.

2 books later, get another one. Quickly say goodnight, find Po, find both Speed Racer Hot Wheel cars, tuck in one, tuck in two. Pause to thank God that they had woken up at 4:30 that morning and were just about falling asleep on their feet tonight.

6:20
I thought that just in case they were more Braxton hicks I’d just hang around the loungeroom and see how long they take to come and go.

So there I am, pacing around the lounge, with Enya playing in the background (the boys ‘sleep time’ music)… would have made for a lovely labour mood if I knew what the heck was going on.

I was being snowballed. I don’t get contractions that last a minute or so, everything about my labours is double time (must have been the effect of all the coffee I drink… everything’s like it’s in fast forward) so I get 20second contractions that come just about every minute or so.

I paced through a couple of those and then decided I’d better call my midwife and tell her I was going in to the hospital.

I called Jo… she was off, so it diverted to Mel. I could hear her DD screaming murder in the bathroom refusing to shower. She told me she’d call the hospital and let them know, and she was on her way (personally I think she was glad to have a good excuse to leave her screaming child with her DH. :laughing:
I walked down to the office and found Carlo sitting in a chair doing his uni readings. Gabriel was already asleep.
“Hun, we have to go to the hospital now.”

“okay” (still reading)

“Now!”

“Now?” (leaping up from his chair) “okay let’s go.”

I left him there and went to get my labour bag and find where on earth MIL was.

6:30pm
I grabbed our bags from or room and walked to the door. As I got there I noticed the tail lights on MIL’s car were on..
“Oh please dear God, don’t be leaving to get smokes now!!” I thought.
Thankfully it turned out she was just returning… would have been nice if she’d let us know she was going in the first place… but hey, when you’re about to have a baby in your front yard, you choose your battles.

I get to the car.. having 3 more contractions in the 25metres it took to walk from my front door to the car… throw the stuff in, and sit down to wait for Carlo. He shows up about 30 seconds later and jumps in.

6:45pm
We head off…
“Hurry, hurry”
“ I’m driving as fast as I can while being safe! Far out Gret, why can’t you just have normal labours!”

It’s a 7min drive from our place to the Mater on a clear run. We got every red light….. and the Saturday game at the Gabba. I don’t think we’ll make it.

By the time we’re 2mins from home I can feel him pushing down…. My body starts pushing. I’m trying to breathe in long deep breaths and visualising tree root systems (?? Who knows??? For some reason that’s the only thing I could think of that actually felt like it might keep him in there).

Carlo’s driving like Michael Schumacher on speed (personally I think he likes the excuse to drive like he’s a F1 test driver)

By the time we get to the Gabba I can feel his head baring down. I know that from here on… I’m going to have to stay sitting down, or this baby will be born right here in the car.

We speed up the left turn only lane, horn blaring and right indicator on. (the right turning lanes had traffic banked ALL the way up)

Thankfully the person at the front let us in… I figure they may have felt like they’d done the right thing when they saw us turn into Mother’s Emergency…. That or seeing me hanging on to the Jesus Rail with my face turned to the open window breathing like Bob Marley drawing on a joint, and Carlo calling at me that we were “almost there. Just keep breathing. Just don’t push”.. may have given the driver a clue as to what was happening.

[OJandMe]

6:50pm
We pull into the 5min parking out the front of the Mater, and Carlo rushes inside. Thankfully there’s a wheel chair just inside and he races back out to the car where I’m sitting in the front seat trying to keep it together (and keep my legs together).

I leap into the chair and we catapult inside to the delivery suite…. To find the doors locked. Carlo starts calling out to the people behind the reception.

“Let us in! Someone open this door! She’s having a baby! She’s sitting on his head!!”
For some strange reason, that got a reaction.. and they promptly buzzed open the delivery suite doors.

I start calling out my last name, knowing that Mel had said she’d call ahead… about three people came running out of a tea room and waved us into a dark delivery room.

Someone flicked the lights on as we entered and I flew out of the chair and stood next to the bed, holding onto the side, kicking my pants off as I went.
“He’s coming. He’s coming I can feel his head!!”

“Yep.” I heard one of the hospital folk say. “We can see it. He still has the membranes around him, so on your next contraction we’ll break those and bub will be here.”

“Are you okay there?” the male nurse asked me.
“NOOOO!” I respond.
“Do you want to be on the bed?’ He asks.
“NOOO!!” I grunt back.

I get another contraction, and then that familiar hot, Chinese burn sensation as the baby crowns. I savour the feeling for a moment before the rush that accompanies my waters breaking washes the rest of him out me. He literally swam out with my waters.

Oh… and I pooed.:o I was ssssooooooooooo embarrassed. I never wanted to be one of the ones that pooed. And I was. :oYuk. Oh well… None of them cared.

(But I cared!! I mean sure, I don’t mind people seeing me have a baby… but come on, pooing’s just so PERSONAL)

Julian Alexander was born at 6:56pm. Carlo went and moved the car. (we were still in the 5 min parking zone)

I zonked out on the bed with Jude and introduced myself to the people who had been there at the birth. Mel hadn’t made it. I knew she wouldn’t, she lives on the North side.

We waited until Carlo got back from moving the car to cut the cord, and the placenta had birthed in the meantime… so Julian got to stay attached to his cord for almost 30mins after birth... which was what I wanted.

I had a 2nd degree tear, but Wendy, my attending midwife, did a wonderful job of explaining it to me and I was pleased to hear that although I had torn. It was in the same place as last time, with no internal tear and no grazing. So I came off better than I had with Gabriel’s birth.

I pleaded for a good job with the stitches. “Make it all pretty” :flowerz:were the words I think I used. She said I was the first woman who had ever had a request about her stitches… but she was very compliant, and humored me anyway. Mel arrived when she was almost done.

When she was finished, she asked if I wanted to see, and I said yes. So they got me a mirror…. I’m very pleased with the result, looks like new. ;)

Everything was going well, we had our cuddles, breastfeed, more cuddles. I had a shower. Julian had a wash down (he had gunk in his hair)…

But then Mel noticed he wasn’t ‘pinking up’ like he should, and he was staying a kind of dusky colour. His breathing was rapid and irregular… so she called the paed.

[OJandMe]

This wasn’t part of the plan. The plan was to have Julian, go home at 11pm and be there in the morning when the boys woke up… so they could come in and say “has Julian been born yet?” (Like they were doing every day) and we could say “Yes. Look, there he is!”

The paed came and did a respiratory check... he was only taking in 70% oxygen. He’d need a chest x-ray and a stay in special care. They started asking me whether there had been anything on his scans. I said there hadn’t, and I’m assuming that if something had been wrong they would have told me.

So our rapid birth went on a rapid decline. It didn’t look like we were going to be able to bring him home that night like we planned. I started worrying that there was something terribly wrong with his little lungs. This was all I needed... and on top of pooing!

We went with him to Special Care… and he was put into an isolet on a CPAP machine. I couldn’t hold him. I couldn’t feed him. And for the next few days all I could do was just touch him.

His x-rays came back with a lot of fluid in his lungs, and some sort of infection. I’d always thought that babies who were birthed vaginally didn’t retain fluid in their lungs, that it was more a c-section problem…. But here was my little guy, vaginal birth, having all the symptoms classic of a c-section bub. They say that because it was such a rapid birth, he wasn’t in the birth canal long enough to have the fluid squeezed out of his lungs… and yet he was there long enough to breath in something that gave him an infection.

The next week was a rollercoaster. He was on oxygen, then under jaundice lights, on two types of antibiotics. I couldn’t hold him or feed him.

My body went into shock. My afterpains stopped, my colostrum dried up. For all intents and purposes my body went into complete ‘no baby’ mode. No matter what I tried, I could not get my body to act like it had just had a baby.

Finally, after almost 3 days I could hold him and feed him. His lungs were strong enough to come off the CPAP and he could come out of the isolet.

We went home the following Saturday. After a week of tears and battles, a week of having to explain to O and J why Mummy wasn’t home yet. A week of not knowing what it was that was making Julian sick, and why it wasn’t improving. He had pneumonia.

On the up hand… being in hospital that long meant my stitches had a great chance to heal, as I was forced to just rest. Carlo calls it my week at Club Med.

We’re all home now. Back to the crazy madness of O, J and G. And part of me thinks that the whole lung fiasco was Julian’s way of avoiding coming home to this mayhem… his way of saying “Mum… just be with ME for a week.”

They all have their own tale to tell, every baby forges its own path into life. And after such an eventful beginning, I’m really glad that he’s settled down to be one of those ‘eat and sleep’ babies. None of the others did that.

It’s taken me four goes… but I think we got it right this time.

[Myztik]

:yelclap: What a story Gret! So glad everything turned out ok with Julian :hugs:

This has to be the first birth story I have read that made me laugh so hard I nearly cried.. Hell no. They can just live with the fact that Brown Bear has a speech impediment this week. :laughing:

[MyThreeCubs]

:yelclap::yelclap::yelclap: I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed reading that story- you write beautifully, it was very funny and although I did not see the "3rd chapter' coming so to speak, i am glad that all ended well. I agree that although it isn't nice to happen the way it did, it is nice to spend a week just with the one bub, especially when you have 2 others at home. (My week in hospital with my hannah was the HAPPIEST week of my life:laughing:)

Thank you for sharing your story and don't worry, I know of a few others who have pooed and although I didn't I recall a very big wee while trying to birth my 2nd:o it happens to the best of us!!!!!!!

[V8]

Gret, i would have to say, one of the best birth stories ever, you are amazing, so glad little Julian was ok, what an eventful entrance to this world he had, certainly a memorable one. Loved the indignity of pooing! lol

[prideNJoy]

I was hanging onto the computer chair whilst reading the 'trip to the hostpital' part. What a story!!!
I'm so glad everything turned out well, and Julian & yourself are okay.
Definitley one to remember huh!?
Congrats to you & your wonderful family Gretel. :hugs:

[Jeclipse]

What a fantastic birth story Gretel! :hugs::goodvibes:

Congratulations on the birth of Julian!
I bet hes adorable!

[CrystalMumOfTwo]

:yelclap::smiliedance: What a great birth story, Was so very funny, then sad but so glad that everything turned out for the best.

congratulations :goodvibes:

[Ashleigh<3]

What a wonderful birth story OJandMe. :)

I love the way you write. :laughing:

Congratulations on the birth of you precious Julian, good to hear everything is okay now and you are home with your new bundle.
:hugs:

[neostudded]

I love his birth story, congratulations on your new baby boy.:baby:

[OJandMe]

Thanks guys :)

It's not as detailed as I'd like. I left out a lot of dialog.. but considering I've had about 35hours sleep total the last 2 weeks, I think it'll do. :laughing:

[happyone2]

Congratulations :smiliedance::smiliedance:

What and eventful birth! Glad to hear your DS is now doing much better.

Thanks for sharing your birth story :thumbsup:

[Eloise&Charlie'sMum]

I am going to read your birth story all over again I loved reading it so much !!! Thanks for sharing.

Congratulations on your beautiful new addition to the family :yelclap:

[reAllytee]

Bloody hell Gret !!!!!

Im bawling here :crying:

What a way to enter the world huh !

Love the story ! As always you spin a wonderful tale of life with spirited boys .... Better watch out this one got his groove on after birth !!!!!

Lotsa love to you all :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

[neostudded]

I would love to see a photo of him (when you get the time of course). :goodvibes:

[Benji]

Thanks guys :)

It's not as detailed as I'd like. I left out a lot of dialog.. but considering I've had about 35hours sleep total the last 2 weeks, I think it'll do. :laughing:

WOW you're a superwoman :D 35 hours of sleep in 2 weeks and no spelling mistakes! I'm surprised you can stand up let alone type so well.

Well done. Sounds like quite an ordeal and I'm very pleased to hear that he is now safely at home with you guys :cloud9:

[Roopee]

Your story is fantastic! So funny- I was laughing at Brown Bear:laughing:!!

Im glad everything is ok now- what a scary time for you:flowerz:

[Leeny]

Awww thats a lovely story Gret! It was a rough finish, but I'm glad to hear he's settled down :) Congratulations again! :)

[WorkingClassMum]

Congratulations on a job well done :yelclap:

I am so pleased that everyone's home and healthy.

[FiveInTheBed]

WOW!!!
What a birth story! ...I didn't realise until I got a pain in my chest- that I was holding my breath through most of it!!

Bet all three kiddies are so happy to have their little brother home to fuss over...and their mum of course!Glad he is feeling better.
I'm in awe of the way you managed to relay your story with such humour and detail... ( Don't worry...I did a Poo too :o)...and with so little sleep.

Fantastic....Good luck with everything!

:goodvibes:

[meme]

oh no....oh no.... i can feel it....argh...i'm clucky again!! even with the pooing, and the scary time in hospital, you've said it all so well that i want to birth a baby again too!!:o

[mummeeto2]

Hey Gret, thanks for making me laugh & cry!!! It was bloody hard not waking everyone while reading your story (of course, I then had to go & read Gabriel's as well). If there's a next time, you might have to consider going to the hospital after the first twinge :laughing:

Hope Julian's settling in & his brothers aren't trying to steal his toys! How's his pneumonia? :fingerscrossed: that he's recovering quickly & has no complications

Congrats to your family & welcome Julian

[Mum2Bug]

Congratulations my beautiful friend. Yours is the best birth story I have ever read, love the fact that you can still keep your humour when you have been through such a tough time.Im glad to hear that you are all home and doing well. I hope he settles into your household happily with all the love that your man-filled house can give.

:hugs::hugs:

[the_original_duchess]

that was the best birth story ive ever read. thankyou so much for sharing, and im so glad you and bubs are fine now.
congratulations to you and your family:hugs:

[QTB]

awwww that was beautiful Gret!!

Seriously though chicky, i dont think your gonna make hospital at all next time! :p


Im so glad all is ok with Julian :goodvibes::goodvibes:

Congrats again!

[studyingECS]

Congratulations Gret and family on little baby Julian.:flowerz:


Great birth story:goodvibes:

[*Chels*]

Wow,you are a great writer!Awesome story!:yelclap:
CONGRATS on the birth of Julian,I am glad he is home safe with you now:goodvibes:

[Bron]

Huge congratulations Gretel. What an incredible journey you and Julian have had!:yelclap::yelclap:

Another wonderfully written birth story - people around here are going to be getting you to ghost write theirs for them next, I reckon!

[OJandMe]

Oh.. I've stuck some photos in the photo section. :thumbsup:

HERE (http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?t=211362)

[Mamalicious]

I mean sure, I don’t mind people seeing me have a baby… but come on, pooing’s just so PERSONAL)

:laughing: Oh Gretel, I truly love you!!! :laughing::laughing:

Congratulations!!!!

[hayleysmummy]

Congrats Gretel and what an amazing birth story I enjoyed the read. I'm glad you and Julian are well and at home

Oh and I pooed too :laughing:

[julietv8]

Gorgeous Gret, I was wondering whether to let everyone on here know, and I'm glad I didn't. Your birth story was just a beautiful way to tell the Hub about your gorgeous little man's arrival, I laughed, I cried, I winced!

He is just perfect and you did a great job! Hope everyone at home is adjusting well. Love you hun.

:hugs::hugs:

[NewBeginnings]

Gret!

Julian's arrival into the world was simply amazing! You have my gobsmacked! Just absolutely incredible!:sunshine:

I am so glad he came out of the woods and is now safe and at home with you all! :goodvibes:

Such a fantastic birth story... and well written.... but then I wouldn't expect anything different :p

Well done hun! I am so over the moon for you all!

And welcome to the world little man! :flowerz:

[~*clairesmum*~]

WOW what a great birth story being waiting so this to be posted

CONGRATS hunni

[Mariposa]

Congratulations again Gretel, thanks for sharing your story.

[TwoBlue]

wow what a story !

Thanks so much for sharing Gret :hugs:

I am so glad that J was well quickly (although I am sure that week felt like a lifetime)

:hugs:

[RowieA]

:hugs:Thanks for sharing:hugs:

[grass is always greener]

Welcome earth side little J. Gret that was an amazing story. I felt my heart rate increasing as you went from your house to the hospital. I even got annoyed when your mil looked like she was going for a drive. :laughing::laughing::laughing:

[stellarella]

Great story!
Congratulations. :yelclap:

[JorBai]

Wow, what an amazing birth story Gretel! U sure know how to write them! LOL!

Congrats on the birth of baby Julian! Im so relieved to hear he is ok now and that you are well too!

Welcome earthside lil guy:goodvibes:

[missmilliesmum]

Congratulations! A wonderfully written and hilarous Birth Story! I thoroughly enjoyed it! Glad that Julian is home and doing well!

[Nomsie]

:yelclap: Fantastically written story, OJ, loved it completely.

You know, it had the humour, the highs, the lows, the drama- everything that a fictional story would have! :laughing:

Congrats to you and fam, and finally welcome home Julian! :sunshine:

[jaxcoop]

Great story! Well done!

[Lil X-men]

:yelclap: What a story Gret! So glad everything turned out ok with Julian :hugs:

This has to be the first birth story I have read that made me laugh so hard I nearly cried..

You are telling me, very well told Gret, hilarious!!

6:50pm


“Let us in! Someone open this door! She’s having a baby! She’s sitting on his head!!”
For some strange reason, that got a reaction.. and they promptly buzzed open the delivery suite doors.



Now that had me in stitches lol!!:laughing::laughing:

Glad all is well now and you are home with bub:hugs::yelclap:

[2SPUNKRATZ]

wow, that was awesome. written so well. congrats on another little bundle of joy. are you able to breastfeed now?

[OneCheekyMonkey]

What a fantastic, entertaining story !

I am glad that everyone worked out ok in the end :)

[OJandMe]

wow, that was awesome. written so well. congrats on another little bundle of joy. are you able to breastfeed now?

:yes: Breastfeeding is fabulous with this little guy. He feeds like a charm...

every hour and a half overnight :sleeping:.. but then only 3 hourly during the day...

which I could switch it.:dizzy:

[defaipe]

congratulations!!
love the labours!! my last one was 4hours.. but 1hour sounds excellent :D oh wait.. im 50mins from hospital.. maybe 1&1/2 hours would sit better :laughing:

what a scare for that first week though!!

[333]

What a full on birth experience! My first birth was under 4 hours from the very first contraction so i might be headed on the same path for my next births(eek)! Im glad your bub is alright now and home with you. Enjoy :).

[kymmy]

You have a great way with humour in your story!
Congrats and enjoy your sleep and eat baby. I finally got one too!!

[mitty]

:laughing::laughing::laughing::laughing:

That is the first time I have read a birth story laughing so hard that i had tears running out of my eyes and something running out elsewhere(im 30 weeks pregnant so dont say anything)

Glad your little guy did well in the end and omg that was so well written. You made my day!!:shakehands: