Saying NO!

[Smurfette]

I just wanted to see if its just me or anyone else feels this way. :confused:

Liv is now 8 months, so becoming quite mobile. She has always been a very good baby, we have had no drama's whatsoever. However, now she is mobile, she of course is exploring more and more things. The only problem so far is the pot plant and I have had to start telling her no. Its really no problem, she looks and me quite shocked, has another go, I say no and she goes away.
Problem is, I feel terrible. Not to the point that I can't discipline her and I am still sleeping at night :laughing: , but I'm just not used to telling her no. I know I will be fine with this, no therapy I'm sure will be required, just wanted other peoples thoughts. Did anyone have this issue when they started saying no?

[bec79]

I think all mums go through this...thats why babys seem to understand the word no before any other. What else are we supposed to do/say??

[rynosmum]

It is hard. We're always motivating our babies to do more, and when they do, we tell them not to ?

She'll appreciate the boundaries though and will stay safe - that's the main thing.:hugs:

[*Chels*]

I hear you sister!!!:yes:
My son is almost 7 months and he rolls and rolls to get where he wants.He new fascination is with cords-computer/phone cords.He spots them and goes for them!!Im forever saying NO!!It sux having to keep an eye on them:laughing: I usually say "no thankyou" so its a bit nicer lol.

[Smurfette]

I usually say "no thankyou" so its a bit nicer lol.
[/QUOTE]

Thats so cute.

[lukaelmo]

Two people now have told me to say "stop" instead of "no". To give them due credit, it was Veve and my mum :laughing:. It makes sense, you are giving a command rather than saying no.

So you can have the best of both worlds - ensuring your child's safety, and not having to say no to them.

By the way, the dude loves power cords too - why oh why?

[Melo]

By the way, the dude loves power cords too - why oh why?

Jacob LOVES powercords, we thought he was going to grow up and be an electrician like his dad! :laughing:

[Chickadee]

I also made it a habit early on to say "no thank you" instead of "no". It's a tip I picked up from a friend back in Canada, who got it from her childcare centre. To me it is a bit gentler and not as abrupt. And it's a bit harder to yell (though not impossible) so it helps me keep my frustration in check. DD respects it, it's what she's used to being told.

And as a bonus, Miss 2.5 is a bit hit or miss on her pleases and thank you's, but ALWAYS says "no thank you" very nicely if she doesn't want what is offered :laughing:

[Mum&bubs]

Summer knows what NO means. Everytime I tell her no she will look at me & cry then go for it again then i will say NO then she cries again but at least she is learning!

[Mister Noodle]

Heh. When my niece first started talking, her default word for everything she didn't know the name of was "no".

Just imagine it... you pick something up, wonder what it is - and this giant person says 'No.'

Oh, okay, it's a no. Got it. Good name. Now, what's this, I wonder... Ah, it's a no, too. Funny language, this. That hairy thing is also called no? Sheesh, no wonder they're always confused...

It just reminds me of the christian missionary in the outback who'd taught himself the local language by trial, error and a lot of mime - and discovered after 20 years that the locals were actually singing "Jesus loves a hairy chest"...

[Mum&bubs]

Heh. When my niece first started talking, her default word for everything she didn't know the name of was "no".

Just imagine it... you pick something up, wonder what it is - and this giant person says 'No.'

Oh, okay, it's a no. Got it. Good name. Now, what's this, I wonder... Ah, it's a no, too. Funny language, this. That hairy thing is also called no? Sheesh, no wonder they're always confused...

It just reminds me of the christian missionary in the outback who'd taught himself the local language by trial, error and a lot of mime - and discovered after 20 years that the locals were actually singing "Jesus loves a hairy chest"...

:laughing: so true when you think about it!

[CJJHRA]

I usually find myself saying "uh, dont touch that" and then try to distract them with something else.

[Sarie]

I say No to my boys and I really don't have a problem with it. They have to learn that their are things they can't do, shouldn't touch. I am pretty hard on my boys, but I figure if I'm hard on them now and they learn at this age at least they will know the boundaries when they're older.

[Jax Tellers Old Lady]

I have found that i am forver saying no to ds as he likes everything he cant have. It is at the point now where if i am wanting him to do something and he doesnt he lets out a loud no lol its so cute didnt think at 9 months he would be saying no. I feel bad when i say it so i am trying a new way where i pull him away and nicely say lets go and do something else and then we will find an activity to keep him occupied.

[zenifa]

My DD is nearly 9 months, crawling and now trying to climb & stand. I alternate between saying 'stop', 'no' and 'no thankyou' but always try to praise her 'good girl'etc when she does the right thing, so when she has stopped what I asked, she is given encouragement. I'm hoping this will work.

[Tea Lady]

I agree that "no thanks" or "stop" are good to use as well as "no" (at least it varies the monotony). I also found it much easier to get rid of as many "no-nos" as possible - eg could you move the pot plant so she can't touch it (you may also need to consider whether or not it's poisonous - many house plants are :eek: ).

I also say "that's not for babies" and I find it helps to physically remove them from whatever they are trying to get rather than relying on their own non-existent willpower to stop them touching it (and it means you don't have to say no 50 times in a row!). At least they're easily distractable at 8 months!

Just think, it will only get harder from here! :p

[Miaow]

Im finding with EJ that saying "don't or dont' do that" seems to work (most of the time). If she's rubbing her eyes or starting to winge in bed cause doesnt want to stay there it will usually stop her for a while.

I think its the tone you say it really. We have to say things like that though even though we don't like it for their own safety most of the time i think.

I also try saying please and thanks if asking her to do something like letting go of a handful of my hair (the new thing she likes to do :laughing:)

[Smurfette]

Well you have all certainly given me some new idea's to think about, and reassurance that I'm not the only one who feels bad for saying no.
I'm fairly sure the plant isn't poisonous ( the flowers are, but I remove them), but will probably have to move the plant anyway.
Most of the areas that Liv can access is totally childproofed, hence why I have only just started to have to say no. There is always something that is forgotten though.:banghead:

[Chickadee]

I actually think it's good not to completely childproof. I mean, certainly make their world safe and remove anything that seems to be too much temptation (or too much of a mess for you to clean up!), but they need to learn not to touch certain things and to listen when you tell them not to. Eventually they are going to be out in the world with lots of temptations! So the sooner they learn the better.

[kymmy]

. Did anyone have this issue when they started saying no?

It is hard.
Try saying her name firmly.
that is what i do cos i hate saying "no'
and it is too easy for a child to say back!

[nemosmum]

I have never used the word no with my son, I preferred to say "Stop" as I didnt want him to pick up the word "No" too early iykwim

Anyway as it happened he picked up the word "Stop" very early on instead lol and used to tell me to stop all the time (in correct conotation lol)

His almost two now and has finally discovered the word "no" I think his gotten it from kindy, so his fave word now is......you guessed it "NO":rolleyes: :D

[PinkBinkie]

My daughter (11mths) just laughs at me or her dad when we say "No". She thinks it's hilarious!! And even when we resort to giving her hand a little smack she cracks up laughing. So obviously our attempts at discipling Lucy arn't working, unless we want to make her laugh :D I might try the "Stop" idea and see what happens!

[CJJHRA]

I dont like to remove things out of their view and reach either, cause they need to learn not to touch it, else I believe, they become more curious and want to touch the stuff.

I also go over to the no-no item in question and explain to them, no, you cant touch that, because blah blah reason, then after that, thats when I say the no, cant touch that. Most of my kids have accepted it, but I do have one highly spirited lad, who will still touch, so I had taken him up to it, showed him how to use/touch carefully, and gave him a go while I was there, and that helped also, cause he knew first hand what it was like, and got it over and done with.

I have also, told them, if they want to use something like DVD player etc when they were younger, to come and ask me, and let me no, so I can make sure they do it right.

[MumsieMel]

Nope had no issues here saying "no", part of life.

They need limits. :yes:

[Smurfette]

Nope had no issues here saying "no", part of life.

They need limits. :yes:

Oh, I know they need limits, and she will have plenty of them. Was just wondering if people felt bad about saying NO, because really they have no idea why we are all of a sudden being ' not so cute ' with them. Does that make sense?:confused:

[MumsieMel]

Sorry darl, wasnt aiming it at you, i was just saying how i look at :thumbsup:

Some days are harder than others too! :rolleyes:

[Smurfette]

Sorry darl, wasnt aiming it at you, i was just saying how i look at :thumbsup:

Some days are harder than others too! :rolleyes:

Its cool Mel :hugs: , just didnt want you to think I was a pushover.;)

[MumsieMel]

No not at all Babe! :hugs: :D