Opinions please!! When to have the next...

[PhoenixsMummy]

We have a 4 1/2 month old and we are talking about having the next one.

My husband has some 'issues' with his testes and they need to be taken out as he is in a lot of pain.... As it is we had a 2% to ever fall pregnant and we fell the first time we tried with the bub we have now.

The thing is, I have found a great part time job and I wanted to be there a little while so I can take maternity leave (I dont care about the paid maternity leave, I just love this job and I want to go back to it)

So my question is, do we just start trying now or do we wait another 6 months.

I also have a very judgemental mother and if I fell pregnant now... i would dread telling her.

I just wanted everyones opinions so I can draw some light on what really matters....

Sorry, bit confused.

[Milktini]

Hello,
I was in the same predicament, except DP has no problems making babies.
My son is 8 months now and we are putting it off until January next year. Fall pregnant when you feel you are ready, if you like this job then maybe wait a few months, I understand how hard it is to tell mothers too, I was 5 months pregnant before I told my mother.
the only Advice I have is do what your heart feels, there are many jobs in the world, but you may only haver limited time to have a 2nd baby.

[mumao2]

I fell pregnant with my 2nd when my 1st was 9 months. They are about 16 months apart and now they are 4 and 5 and we think the age difference is great as they are best mates and play with each other!:)

[Lissa7]

I fell pregnant with DD2 when DD1 was 5mths old and there is 13mths & 2 weeks between them!!!! Was bloody hard in the beginning as DD1 wasn't walking and would be climbing all over me while I was feeding DD2. However if you have good family help & support like me it won't be too hard for you I only found the first 6mths to be crazy busy!!!!! And now they are little besties!!!

It took us 2 years to fall pregnant with DD1 and we thought it would take a long time to happen again but obviously not :)

If you really love your job I would wait a few more months as you said so you can get maternity leave. When I fell pregnant I had just got my "dream job" working for an airline and absolutely loved it but then fell pregnant during my training and wasn't there long enough for me to take maternity leave then same with DD2 just got my job back again in the airline industry and fell pregnant again :rolleyes: something about me and airlines and getting pregnant :laughing:

In saying all that I'm soooo happy now home with my 3 little dollies!!!!!

Good luck hope it all works out for you :flowerz:

[OJandMe]

I've got 13 months between my littlest 2.

And the hardest thing I find is having to juggle putting G to sleep, and having the baby wake up for a feed halfway through settling G.

He's walking, has been for a few months, and is a really easy kid. A real independent player.

It's a kindy day today, so my 3.5yr old twins aren't home... just G and J2.. and seriously, it's been the cruisiest day. G just plays and the baby just sleeps!

But this is only 3 weeks in... so we'll see what the next few months bring.

[Js Mum]

IF ther eis ahealth issue for your poor partner, are you in a position where you can look at a compromise - such as freezing some sperm so you can make the decision when you are ready?

Or perhaps have tests done to see if his sperm does freeze and is viable for laetr down the track? At least if you get the pre-tests done, then that gives you some options and may help you make a decision that is right for all of you, ie:

If it freezes and is viable you can store some until you are ready, partner can have his op etc OR you can try naturally before his op

If it doesn't freeze then you can try naturally (until the pain gets too bad) OR you can look at other options of donors etc when you are ready

It just puts it all out there for you

And dont worry about others opinions - do what is right for both of you, and your bub - it's your life, live it your way

[benedicteb]

As everybody say, do it when you will be ready. You don't have to scare telling your mother. It's your life.

If really love this job then you can wait a bit but If you feel now is the right so do it.

Best of luck mum :fingerscrossed:

[Bella-Archie]

Hi

I had my first two 11 months apart (not planned) it was very hard at first but now is wonderful we decided to wait until no. 2 was one before we had another ..... also have a very jugemental mother and M-I-L so was a bit scared of telling them that we were pregnant again ... but all in all it was our decision and we now have a 4yr old a 3yr old and a 14mth old ... I love having them all close (as hard as it can be at times !!!) but ultimatly it's your decision !!!

[Herchy]

I agree with everyone else, do it when you feel it's right. At around 3-4 months, I got really clucky, and was quite keen. Luckily, DH wasn't. I am glad we waited. I started trying again when DS was 10 months old and was pg when he was 13 months. Looking forward to the challenges of having 2 babies under 2.:)

Best of luck with your decision.

[mothertobein2007]

hi there my son is 14 months now and i'm 11 weeks preg i find it hard and sometimes i wish i fell preg earlier as you can get more sleep and they dont want to ride you like a horse lol but DS will be 21 months when i have the next and i like that gap but i know people that had them close and say it was the best like they ever did as they are still doing about the same thing and if are having trouble getting preg try and you may not fall unit 6-12 months.:ecomcity::ecomcity:

[cja]

I got pregnant with DD when DS was 5months old, so there is a 14mth age gap. It is hard work at times but I love it. Now they are 8mths and 22mths, they both love each other so much....I can see that once DD is a little older they will be great playmates.

[MooandMoo2]

My two boys are 17 months apart, it is very hard work but so worth it. If you are prepaired for hard work, no sleep etc then go for it, dont worry what others think :) best of luck

[MummyStar]

:iagree:
The sooner DH can have the pain taken away the better, that said I would be trying now. With regards to the job, if you felt comfortable enough talking to them about it hopefully they would be understanding & want you to come back after bub is born, I probably wouldn't mention it until I was close to 12 weeks pregnant. It's a hard situation to be in but I think putting your Husband's health first would be the best thing to do, I wouldn't want my Husband to be in pain for another 6 months because of my job or to please your Mum with the timing of your children. I'm not sure if you'll discuss DH testes with your Mum but surely if she knew she would understand why you decided to have another baby so close. Try to put her out of your mind until you're pregnant, you have more important things to think about than her opinion.

[twopink]

Consider this...you don't want to regret not being able to have another child if that's what you both want. That regret will last possible a lifetime. But regretting leaving a job is short lived...there are always other jobs mate...:flowerz: