How much does your bf have to do with your child?

[Tieko]

I have been with my bf for 6 months and he has known my kids for 4 of those months, but I still don't let him have a lot to do with the kids. I mean he sees them all the time, but physically, he really only just plays with them, has watched my littlest a few times if he was asleep while i ducked across the road, and will tell them no if they are doing something wrong and i am not in the room. This seems to work really well for us both at this stage because i guess im just not ready to start sharing the 'looking after' of my kids with anyone yet, such as taking them to bed, dressing, taking to school, disciplining etc. I'm also very paranoid about things like other people bathing my kids or seeing them naked so i don't think anyone but me will be doing that for a very long time! So how much does your bf have to do with your child? Do you let him look after your child alone or let him help out with the day to day routine? I'm just wondering when i should let him have a little more 'involvement' in our lives? I guess my main issue is that my children get attached to people very quickly and would be very hurt if he was doing all those things with them and then suddenly disappeared if we were to break up.

[Issey]

i would say that your kids are already attached to some to degree even if the involvement doesn't include day to day routine.

my ex husband didn't have much of that involvement so I am used to doing the main things as he was always at the pub:rolleyes:.

I trust my bf fully so wouldn't be a problem if he supervised a bath or dressed DS or whatever, his kids are older but he is a responsible father. I don't ask him to do those things tho as there has not been a need to.

I do the main disicpline but he will tell DS 'no' or whatever if he is misbehaving, I think you have to let them have involvement if you are going to make it work, you also want your child to repect your partner. It is a gradual thing that just has happened naturally in our relationship but if I have any parenting concerns I raise them straight away as it is important to communicate.

[SassyMummy]

I live with him at the moment, due to the fact that my prior living conditions were rubbish for a child... and so he does have a bit to do with her.

He sees her everyday, and whatnot.

He doesn't feed her or bathe her to take her to the toilet, and I wouldn't leave her with him either. But that's not because I feel uncomfortable with the idea of it all... just because I don't feel he should have to. She's my daughter, not his.

He does play with her, and he'll tell her off, especially when my "tricks" to get her to behave aren't working (sometimes it just works better to have someone else say something... they actually seem to listen...lol), and he'll even tell her off if I'm in a different room. I don't mind, and actually appreciate it.

He doesn't pay for her, but he doesn't pay for me either. We pay for ourselves pretty much, except when sharing food, and then either one of us will pay.