4 year old monster

[TJB]

Hi everyone.

Just wanted to find out what everyone elses 4 year olds (or close too) are like. My son can go from a complete angel one minute to a monster the next. He is Mr Attitude from the moment he wakes up and things like the naughty step, time out, active ignoring just dont help enough.

Don't get me wrong he is a beautiful boy and most of the time he is wonderful but some days I just dont know how to cope with this attitude. :confused:

Jess 26 :banghead:
Nick 26 :smiliedance:
Tyler 4 :devil6:

[Mamaduke]

Jesse (4 1/2) has been testing the boundaries lately and I've been finding that I'm in a constant 'battle of the wills' with him most of the day.
I spoke to his kinder teacher and she came up with a great idea...buy an exercise book and we've called it "Jesse's 'good things I did today' book".
At the end of each day (regardless of how naughty he's been) we sit down together and I ask him "What are the good things you've done today?"...it could be something as simple as 'ate my dinner' but it all goes in the book. It's focusing on positive behaviour rather than the negative all the time (which I find I tend to do). We're on our fourth day and now that Jesse knows that the book comes out each evening he is actually looking for things to do to put in the 'good book'. Last night he set the table and then packed up (without being asked) so he would have something for the good book.
It's early days, but I have seen a change in his behaviour - he's more pleasant to be around, the tantrums have almost completely gone, he's more considerate towards Lucas, packs up his toys or activities that he's been doing & has been listening & using his manners.
Give it a try...it does work! I always keep in mind that these 'little creatures' have all of this testosterone running through their little bodies at the moment but don't have the maturity to keep it under control...and we know what testosterone does to adult males!!!!;)
Good luck!:D

[SassyDiva]

What an excellent idea Mamduke :thumbsup:

I'll be putting that one into practise.

[sugar n spice]

Mamaduke that was a brilliant idea i will definetly be giving that one ago as my 4 1/2 yr old is a real little monster with the attitude. Any tips like that i will try. will let you no how it goes:thumbsup:

[suemp]

hi jess, its sue. you know from seeing jake that you are not alone:(
it does get frustrating. today we went to the news agent and bought a big piece of cardboard. on it is a section to tick good things jake does. and a section for naughty things(which at the moment its swearing and hitting)
if jake gets 15 good ticks a week he gets a special day out with mum(or dad)
if he gets 15 or more bad ticks he has to wait till the next week.
it has worked for a friend of mine so im giving it a go. also my friend has stripped the majority of sugar out of her sons diet and she said its made a huge difference. as jake is a sugar addict (my fault i know) im doing it slowly
ps mamdukes idea is tops too.

[TJB]

Thanks Mamaduke. I have bought a little book and each night we are writing his good behaviour for the day in it and so far he is really interested in doing it but it still doesnt kill MR ATTITUDE!!!

I saw a thing on Super Nanny the other night about a chart for each week to do with swearing etc and there is a big line of mouths for each week and each time they say a bad word one of the mouths gets put into a jar. The aim is to keep all the mouths and at the end of the week they get a prize. Like what you are doing Sue. The thing is Tyler doesn't swear (lucky me) he just tells nick and I off when we say a bad word which is a great thing!! I have tried sticker charts before and they just wear off eventually. I have tried buying a special toy of his choice or saying we will do something good at the end of the week but he loses interest after a day or two.

I am trying even harder with this idea of active ignoring so when they have bad attitude etc they sit in time out and you dont say a word until the attitude or behaviour is gone. The thing is he basically just screams our complex down and I swear neighbours must think I am bashing the life out of the poor kid. He is a huge drama king sometimes and last night he screamed for about half an hour when in time out because I said he had to sit at the table to eat his cheese.

I dont know mummies, how do you all deal with these days when you just want to walk away from it all??? :ecomcity:

[TJB]

I forgot to add Sue that I am pretty strict when it comes to what Tyler eats especially in the sugar department. He rarely has any sort of junk food or sugary drinks etc. I have tried to be strict since day one and its paid off as he rarely asks for anything even when we are shopping etc. If he wants something its either sushi or a savoury muffin, sometimes a choc chip if he has been really well behaved. So I dont think its a sugar thing. But thanks for the thought.

[EskimoMumma]

sometimes small battles and small things arent even worth it

[SassyDiva]

Hi Jess, You have to just keep on going and trying different things until you hit the jackpot. But remember it's just a stage and wont :fingerscrossed: last forever.

My DS is 3 and a half so can't say I know what your going thru - but I think he invented the coin fraze "Terrible 2's"... :D I can laugh now but at the time I hated the thought of going shopping or anywhere in public really, then seemed to happen overnight he learnt the art of negotiation and I can (most times) reason with him, and he now understands if he is good he gets to do the things he enjoys.. Iam lucky I guess cause he hates not getting my attention so often after being ignored for 10 to 15 minutes he will appologise for what his done.

If he continued to cry I'd probably do a Doctor Phil and start taking his fav things away.

The book and charts sounds like an excellent idea:thumbsup:

[Sarie]

I have had a similar problem with my 3 year old. When he was about 2.5 he was a complete nightmare. It took me a long time to realise that since summer had started to get extremely hot we hadn't been going on our daily walks or playing outside as much. Once I started that back up his behavour improved greatly.
Also if he's being naughty I ask him why mummy is cranky and he will tell me what he's done so he knows that it was naughty. Then he has to go and sit on his bed in his room quietly.
If he screams then he has to wait till he's quiet again for a certain amount of time before he can come out and play.
It's all little steps, but by putting in the work now :fingerscrossed: they'll be more pleasent to be around soon!;)