View Full Version : Woman 7 months pregnant at 63
:eek: What are your views on this.
Personally i think its :shame: when the child is 10 the mother will be 73!:eek:
what do you think?
A couple in their sixties have expressed delight at the news they are having a baby thanks to IVF treatment.
DELIGHTED John Farrant, 61, told of his joy at learning his child psychiatrist wife is giving birth at the age of 63.
In a join statement, they said "We wish to emphasise that this has not been an endeavour we've undertaken lightly or without courage. A great deal of thought has been given to planning and providing for the child's present and future well-being medically, socially and materially.
*My Lil Blondie*
05-05-2006, 10:13
i personally think its extremely cruel to the child! i mean hopefully ill be around untill Brodie is 60 (im 19 today yay!) where as this lady can only hope to be there for his 21st! also the child will probally end up caring for the parents rather than them caring for him. he will be 15 and possibly changing their nappies :eek: !!!
Kamaikia
05-05-2006, 10:13
I'm sorry but I think its absolutly disgusting, its cruel, dangerous and extremely selfish. As far as I'm concerned it should never have been allowed to happen. There has to be some limit put on it as to how old the parents can be.
http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2006200573,00.html
Its not like she has no children she has 2 children in there late 20's
Shocking:no:
DP was reading this story out to me to we both thought it was nuts as when the kid is older she either be dead or in a home poor kid..but then we thought about other people who are bad parents etc as long as she loves it cares for it that's what matters in the end!
Angelmist♥
05-05-2006, 10:23
WRONG......WRONG.....WRONG.................:shame:
*Country Bumpkin*
05-05-2006, 10:26
OMG!!! This is DISGUSTING how on earth could anyone even CONSIDER such a thing.... she has kids already why does she need more...what is she trying to prove.
Imagine the remifications this will have on the child emotionaly- he/she will be more than likely tourmented at school becasue his/her parents are so old.... Not to mention how he/she will cope when the parents pass away.
What sort of life can they give the child? Its not like they would have an abundance of energry- they wont be able to run around the park like a 20-30 year old could and surley if they tried there is a risk of breaking a hip!!
I persoanly believe that there should be a cut off age for people wanting IVF treatment.
This is a child were talking about not a bloody science experiment:mad:
You need a licence to have a dog but any d*** head can have a child!
Where will they draw the line?
If they wanted more kids, why did they just not adopt one?. There are so many children out there who need parents. They already have 3 kids of their own. Why not sit back, relax and wait to be grandparents? Just shocking...:no:
That is really WRONG! Yeah fair enough they will love the child very much etc BUT what about the child?! I think it is VERY inconsiderate. The parents of the child will most likely die when he is still young, he will get teased at school, the parents wont be able to run around after him...Not to mention the risks of having a baby at that age. - birth defects...how would they cope with a child that has birth defects?? And the percentage of this happening would be quite high i should imagine. The mother could die during birth or have other complications.
IMO that is just very wrong. They should wait for grandkiddies, they are in no position to bring a child into the world as wanted and loved as the child may be.
:shame: :shame: :shame: :shame:
HugsAndKisses
05-05-2006, 11:15
yes i totally agree with this being so wrong.....i dont know why they would even want to do it they should be relaxing and enjoying life not creating another one, a child is not a toy and it sounds as though they think it is cus they cant possibly belive they'll be around long enough to help the child through his/her life problems and triumphs....this is really sad, and also when they die as others have said this child will still most likely be a child and have to deal with having no parents and possibly no aunts or uncles and maybe his/her brothers and sisters will then be left with responsibility to raise the child...... so wrong an selfish:thumbsdown: :no:
Kaileysmum
05-05-2006, 11:17
Hey guys
I agree with everyone I think its a little unfair for the child. Saying that though, my Dad turned 60 last year and he has a 18 mth old baby. His wife (my SM) is only 41 though. And she has never had any kids, so thats why they had Amelia. So when my half sis is 10 my dad will be 70, and my step mum will be 51.
I was very suprised and unsure about it all when they told me they were having a baby, but Im used to it now. Luckly my Dad doesnt look 60.:laughing:
Its funny though because Dad has a 18mth old daughter and a 7mth old gran daughter. So my dd and her aunty are only 1 year apart. WEIRD hey!!!
Wow, I can't believe the arrogance in this thread. She's a 63 year old doctor, I think she knows what she's doing, and will have the knowledge/experience/finances to be an absolutely brilliant mother. She's probably got another 20 years (more likely 30, given her medical background and wealth), there are older siblings (26 and 22) who are, according to the news story "over the moon" about the pregnancy and presumably will be there for support when the parents are gone. There's more to being a good parent than just being young.
misskittyfantastico
05-05-2006, 20:33
I just wonder where it will all lead....will a 73 yr old be having a child next?I'm not really sure how I feel about it. I guess it doesn't matter though because it's not my life.
I think it goes against all the principals of Mother Nature, if you are old enough to have gone through menopause then you should be cut off from IVF treatments. I agree with other posts I read, this woman is an experienced carer; why not adopt/foster a less fortunate child?
:shame:
Angelmist♥
05-05-2006, 22:29
She's probably got another 20 years (more likely 30, given her medical background and wealth), there are older siblings (26 and 22) who are, according to the news story "over the moon" about the pregnancy and presumably will be there for support when the parents are gone. There's more to being a good parent than just being young.
Just so you know, wealthy doctors die too.
I dont think it is disgusting, how can anyone think a baby coming into the world is disgusting? :confused: but I do wonder if just because you can do something, does it mean you should? Im assuming we were meant to have children at a younger age because that is when our bodies were originally at their best, but all of that has changed so much now, we live for much longer, and stay healthy for much longer, 50 yrs ago a woman in her 50s was often an old crone, these days 50 is still young, so I dont really know what to make of it to be honest, but this child will obviously be loved and well cared for, which is the main thing.
yackysmum
05-05-2006, 22:34
did anyone see the interview on a current affair with that 68 year old who had a bubs. She could hardly pull herself up the stairs, imagine when her kid is 2 and is crying to get picked up. The whole idea doesnt appeal to me:barf: I'm 21 and am exhausted with a 16month. I dont think it will work for all the obvious reasons but can you imagine when this child is a teenager and wants to play his/her music up loud in their bedroom. But i guess by then all his/her parents will do is turn down their hearing aid. (hey look there is an advantage of being parents at their age):thumbsdown: :thumbsdown:
:shame: .....think that says it all!
did anyone see the interview on a current affair with that 68 year old who had a bubs. She could hardly pull herself up the stairs, imagine when her kid is 2 and is crying to get picked up. The whole idea doesnt appeal to me:barf: I'm 21 and am exhausted with a 16month. I dont think it will work for all the obvious reasons but can you imagine when this child is a teenager and wants to play his/her music up loud in their bedroom. But i guess by then all his/her parents will do is turn down their hearing aid. (hey look there is an advantage of being parents at their age):thumbsdown: :thumbsdown:
I know what woman you are talking about, but this particular couple are very fit and healthy, and obviously have plenty of good years ahead of them.
Wow, I can't believe the arrogance in this thread. She's a 63 year old doctor, I think she knows what she's doing, and will have the knowledge/experience/finances to be an absolutely brilliant mother. She's probably got another 20 years (more likely 30, given her medical background and wealth), there are older siblings (26 and 22) who are, according to the news story "over the moon" about the pregnancy and presumably will be there for support when the parents are gone. There's more to being a good parent than just being young.
I agree, each to their own. Good on them, they've got more 'balls" than I have. I rather be kicking back at that age, so if they want to do this good luck to em.
I do agree the child may feel a little strange about having elderly parents but who can say that the child will have phycological (sp?) problems. There are kids out there who have phycological and mental problems who have two healthy normal middle aged parents.
As long as the child is loved, taught and cared for, so what if the parents are older than ""normal""
A friend of mine had elderly parents, we all thought her mum was her grandma when we first met her. She was a little paranoid about introducing her to her friends. But her mum was fantastic and none of us saw her as and elderly mother just our friends mother.
Tam-I-Am
05-05-2006, 22:46
People who beat their children, or sexually abuse them, or deprive them - they are disgusting. Two loving parents with an extended familial network who are bringing a new life into the world - they are not disgusting.
I personally wouldn't have a child at 63 - but I'm not the one doing it.
personally i wouldnt do it, but i dont think we have any right to judge these people. they could be incredibly healthy for their age, age is nothin but a number after all and it shouldnt affect the love and care they could give to a child.
i had this same conversation with a friend who said "but they wont even be able to run around and play with their child" - but what about those in a wheelchair? or those who are very overweight? they cant neccessarily perform many physical tasks with their children but that does not mean that they love them any less...
and can u imagine the response if we were to say wheelchair-bound or overweight people having children is disgusting?...
and as for they might die before hes 20.... as morbid as it sounds any one of us could die before our child reaches 20...JMO, i do see where everybody is coming from but i dont think its our right to judge :)
Ana Gram
05-05-2006, 23:56
I don't have a problem with it. I don't think it is selfish to want a child, far from it. And guess what people, any one of you could drop dead tomorrow.
jessgray
06-05-2006, 08:05
i think it would be a bit sad for a kid to have a parent who is unable to play catch or something with them but im sure they have a loving family and really isnt that what is most important?
I don't think its anyone else's place to judge who has the right to have a child.
There are some people on here who I think are far too YOUNG to have a child. These oldies are probably less likely to drain the system and rely on other people than some of the people who are judging them to be unfit.
If it was up to me nobody under the age of about 27 would be allowed to conceive.
But its not up to me coz its none of my beeswax what other people do.
I make the choices that are right for me and everybody does the same.
mum2four
06-05-2006, 09:46
:shame: They obviously aren't thinking of the child, only themselves! The mother is meant to be a child pshycologist right? Shouldn't she of all people know the effects this will have on her child :confused:
Thankyou for speaking up zactyl and loopi1, and as usuall the voice of reason comes from Chelle and Shed!
I wanted to say the same thing but haven't till now because going against the flock on this site often leads to a battering for me :crying:
This woman hasn't made the decision lightly, she is well aware of what she's doing and she's not unaware of the risks, I think its wonderful that she's not afraid to move outside the social paradigm and dedicate the rest of her life to a child. Not selfish at all as far as I'm concerned! Far from it!
Should anything happen to her the child has fully grown siblings to look up to, and those siblings will probobly have children near this kid's age... he or she won't be alone!
I think the judjemental attitude here is disgusting and the main reason I spend most of my time on other boards! :shame:
Angelmist♥
06-05-2006, 10:50
Sorry but my Grandma (76) is one of the most spirited, energetic people I know........still can't imagine her with a 13 yr old.
madvoice
06-05-2006, 12:59
I really do think a line needs to be drawn here. When a woman has finished her 'fertile' time of life I think its cruel to persist where nature decided otherwise. I'm not saying IVF shouldn't be used. Most women using IVF still have periods and produce eggs. I dunno. I guess I'm just rambling now.
I really do think a line needs to be drawn here. When a woman has finished her 'fertile' time of life I think its cruel to persist where nature decided otherwise. I'm not saying IVF shouldn't be used. Most women using IVF still have periods and produce eggs. I dunno. I guess I'm just rambling now.
My Dad's sister would dissagree with you, she went through menopause at 27.
Well where's the cut off line? And who decides?
People such as child psychologists would probably be quite good at deciding what a child needs I would think, so that would be a good place to start...
Age does make a difference to some things. After the age of 35 the risk of alot of things goes up, Downs syndrome for one. Maybe women over the age of 35 shouldn't be allowed either.
That's my wanted, anticipated, loved, scheduled son out of the question then. I didn't get pregnant till I was 36 and I will be 37 when he's born.
Where's the cut off line?
I think its cruel to persist where nature decided otherwise...
My Dad's sister would dissagree with you, she went through menopause at 27...
I think thats a little different though... At 27 you are still considered 'young'...
ah yes but 'nature' decided she'd passed her fertile time... who are we to dissagree with nature!
Well where's the cut off line? And who decides?
:yelclap: :yelclap: :yelclap: Well said Shed
SamanthaJane
06-05-2006, 17:06
Hmm i think its hard to draw a line on what age u can have children... in a scientific sense u can have children from the day u start ovulation to the day u hit menopause, and are unable to produce children.
However, life is not all about science and everyone needs to consider the moral side of things aswell.... whether u are 12 or 63 u need to think- can i phsycially support myself and a child? Can i emotionally support myself and a child? Can i adequatley provide for this child for the next 18 years of his or her life?
I had to think of so many things when trying to decide whether or not to keep my baby. Most financial in my case. And whilst i still worry about the financial side of things- no family is perfect with money, emotions etc.
I do believe that if you can honestly look after a child in every aspect and try your best to please them and keep them happy then you are perfectly capable of doing so. In a real sense, who are we to judge her?? I dont want people judging me on being a young mum, so i cant judge her on being an older mum.
My only concern is that i just hope that she lives long enough to see her child get married, and even see this child have children themselves. I also hope she is fit enough to be able to run around after her children, play with them, and spend quality time with them until we know what type of a mother she will be to this child, we really cannot judge.
Kamaikia
06-05-2006, 18:50
I have listened to many of the arguments and can understand where everyone is coming from but I see it like this - yes they may be healthy and fit now but really what are the chances of there health staying the same for the next twenty years.
Older people seem to age overnight.
Yes I can understand her longing for a baby but I also know that most mothers want the best for their children.
Now call me crazy but I would never have had a child if I knew there was a big possibility I could be dead before it reaches school. Yes I could die now and leave my son motherless but her chances are alot higher. All the money in the world isn't going to make up for the fact that your parents are dead.
And yes maybe the brothers and sisters will step in and raise the child but how is that fair to any of them.
I don't think we should see that she is a doctor and automatically think she knows whats best. Doctors are human too, they lie, they cheat, they are ignorant and selfish just like the rest of us.
I don't know its a hard situation.
I'm not trying to change anyones minds as I respect all of your thoughts and opinions.
Sorry to those Iknow I am going to offend but I honestly think that 40 should be the cut of age for any fertility treatment. If it happens naturally after this age then its meant to be.
Fairyfloss
06-05-2006, 18:55
all I can say to her is, well done my lady, my grandma, is your age and she is expecting her great grand child,:smiliedance: , you must be full of energy :yes:
RedPanda
06-05-2006, 22:50
I guess this is a case of each to their own. I must say, she must be a VERY fit woman if she feels she is able to endure a pregnancy. I'm only in my 20s and I'm really feeling the effects of late pregnancy!!!
I know what it's like to reaallly reallly want a baby, so I don't want to judge her. Personally I wouldn't do it - quite risky for Mum and baby. Also, I don't agree with the rich being able to "buy" eggs (she paid $US18,000 to a Russian teenager) when there are such long lists for donors.
thats so sad, but good to hear she has other children, who hopefully will be there for their sibling should their parents pass away while the child is still young!
I'm unable to handle the interuppted sleep already, Hope she copes ok with that. But I guess if they are well of, there will be plenty of paid help :o
Tam-I-Am
07-05-2006, 01:11
People who beat their children, or sexually abuse them, or deprive them - they are disgusting. Two loving parents with an extended familial network who are bringing a new life into the world - they are not disgusting.
I personally wouldn't have a child at 63 - but I'm not the one doing it.
My Motto:
Judge and you shall not be judged.
I'm a little confused. Are you agreeing with my post, or having a go at me for judging others?
Many children are brought up by their grandparents for various reasons. I met quite a number of them while teaching in highschools and in my role as a deputy. Most of those students had no problems, were no different and did not get teased by others because of those circumstances.
Children also cope with losing parents. While it is not the ideal situation, and not something anyone asks for, these children can, and do, grow up to be mentally healthy individuals who are great assests to society.
While it would not be my personal choice to have a newborn at that age, who's to say what's right for everyone?
CarolineF
07-05-2006, 10:31
To me this pregnancy is wrong on so many levels. I understand a persons right to choose and I respect that, but when i was at school I had a friend whose father was in his late 70's. Her mother was in her late 60's. That girl struggled her whole life to fit in, and to succeed. Like the family in the recent story, her parents were also very high achievers.
She committed suicide in her mid 20's. Both her parents were aging rapidly, and because of the age gap with other family members, she had nothing in common with them. she was the one at home trying to succeed and care for them at the same time. The whole story was tragic and I think very selfish of the parents.
Yes, children can and have coped with the early death of parents etc.....but does that mean that they should have to? Yes, there are plenty of children out there who have abusive families and at least this child seems to be entering into a loving family. so knowing that, why don't they foster? It is not as if this child she is carrying is biologically hers.
Why should this couple's family be placed in a position where they will have to be the fall back support network should anything happen to either parent?
I don't know...it just seems to me that God has given us all the gift to assist those who cannot conceive the chance of a baby. But is this situation really what this science was meant to be for? This case is a clear example of the ability of the rich being able to achieve what the rest of us would not be able to and to heck with the morality.:no:
our little treasures
07-05-2006, 11:44
My mil was 44 when she had her now 16yr old and she hates it!!! She has told me several times she loves her daughter but is too old to chase around after her. She has grandkids she can't even hold longer than a minute! So I really do believe if it happened naturally fine but not with aid!!! If the 20 yr old children are burdened with this child if something happens, how sad would that be! In Australia the cut off age is 45 for IVF I think.
My MIL was 29 when she had her first, 35 when she had her last and also hates it. Age has nothing to do with it, she's a lazy selfish woman.
My great grandmother is 93 and babysits kids for everyone in my family, she's wonderful with babies, toddlers, even looks after teenagers with no prob, has no problem feeding, changing, bathing and entertaining several young kids at a time with no help. She simply adores children, she had 8 of her own.
As teenagers kids are mainly able to care for themselves, what teenagers need is wisdom and guidance and someone willing to listen, and I have found older people much more able to do that than those in their 30's-40's.
JMHO
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