advice please....

[TwoBlue]

My DH has been out of work since just before easter... no fun...

anyway today he got a job so you'd think ... :smiliedance:
but actually i am more :crying: ....

his jobs have always been early morning start, home by 4pm...
his new job is from 4pm till midnight weekdays... so he is gone for the hardest part of the day with the boys.. dinner, bath, bed etc....

i know his new job is "just until something better comes along" but how long will that be...???

i dont know how i will cope and would love advice from mums who dont have help at that time of the day.....

i know i am crazy, i should be rapped (and i am .. sort of...) but i am just a bit scared i guess as my great routine with the boys is about to be turned upside down!!

thanks guys

[Mummy-2-2]

Oh Tracey, dont stress about it, you will get it down pretty quickly, you will have to!!

And think about it from a dfferent point of view, you and your partner and your kids will have the days together to do things, your partner will be able to spend more "awake" time with the kids and it'll almost be like he is a stay at home dad!

I wish my hubby had a job like that, only four hours alone with the kids, instead of 9:laughing:

[WeThree]

Hi Tracy :)
I am in the same boat, DH works mainly night and afternoon shifts, leaving me, like you said, alone at the toughest time of the day.
I dont have much advice except to say that it does become easier, and you do get used to it. I just focus on the job at hand and make sure I am organised, some evenings it all goes fabulously and everything falls into place, other times it is total chaos, but just try to stick to their routines as best you can and you will be fine.
Some things that help are having bubs go to bed first, so your not trying to settle them at the same time, get baths and stuff out of the way earlier in the evening (4-5pm) and cooking dinner in the day, then just reheating it at night. :)

[TwoBlue]

And think about it from a dfferent point of view, you and your partner and your kids will have the days together to do things, your partner will be able to spend more "awake" time with the kids and it'll almost be like he is a stay at home dad!


Oh my goodness he has been home now for a few weeks and he is driving me NUTS !! and also he wont be so great in the mornings as he will be home so late, he'll need to sleep in etc...
having him home during the day is stuffing up my daytime routine and not having him home at night will stuff up my nightime routine !!
grrrr just when i felt like the routine with bubs added was perfect too !! :banghead:

Thanks Erin for the great advice !
Maybe we will get more time to chat online in the evenings now :laughing:

[MonMic]

[quote=coopsntilly]
Some things that help are having bubs go to bed first, so your not trying to settle them at the same time, get baths and stuff out of the way earlier in the evening (4-5pm) and cooking dinner in the day, then just reheating it at night.

Yep I totally agree here, try and get dinner partially prepared earlier in the day, difficult if you have to go out which is when its good to re-heat stuff like frozen lasagna's and stuff.

Put all the kids in the bath together and then get them out in stages starting with the littlest one first if their ages allow, or even bath them in the mornings! or throw them in the shower with you both.

you'll be fine, it will be caos in the beginning but you will develop new strategies quite fast.
:thumbsup: Mon

[Crazyfamily]

Hi,
My husband works afternoon shift also. I have six children and 4 of them are under 5. As others have said, try and make dinner earlier in the day (slow cookers are great for this) and now that it is cooler I bath my children earlier or their dad does it before he goes to work. In summer it is to hot to do that or they are all sweaty and uncomfortable and can't sleep. I have learnt not to expect to much from anyone. The children are tired and so am I so I try and find some quiet calming activity for them and I do what I can when I can. I do all my house work while dh is home in the morning and he can play with the kids. Some nights are terrible and some are good. I just go with the flow and hope the kids go to sleep really easy. My 4 year old and 3 year old don't sleep at all during the day so they are usually asleep by 7pm which means I have time to sit and relax until it all starts again the next day.
Good luck. I'm sure you'll do fine

[draught]

Hi Tracey
You already have good advice but I will add my 2 cents worth. My DH goes away for work for a couple of weeks at a time so I spend a lot of time with my two alone - and it really isn't that bad. I do have a routine that works - similar to the others - they watch something special on TV while I prepare dinner, then we eat together, they have a bath together, smallest one out and dressed first, then older one out and dressed while younger one runs around like a maniac. Then milk and stories for the two of them together. Then I brush their teeth and send the older one to her room to chose her special stories while I read a story to DD2 and put her to bed. DD1 then gets special "mummy time" in her room before she goes to bed. I know that mine are a little older than yours but I have followed something similar for over a year with them and manage to maintain my sanity that way.

And yes - you will have more bubhub time when he is at work!!:D

[poshBecks]

:hugs:
Trace, I often have to do the night routine aswell. Dan often doesn't get home til after 6:30 or if he's doing overtime, after 7. It is a bit exausting, but I promise you will get used to it.
I'll pray that it will only be for a short time for you!! :hugs:

[jessgray]

my DP used to work from 4am-9am and then 3pm-5pm he was a strapper. he injured his back and he ended up quiting coz it was getting worse. but after a while you dont really notice the lack of help.

i spent 2 weeks without my dp when he went fruit picking with a mate and to be honest i loved having the house to myself on day care days:laughing:

you'll be fine :thumbsup: and if you arent just come on here

[wattle]

After I have put Max to bed I might sneak over sometime and we can watch girly telly together and eat too many tim tams!

Especially the nights that the stupid FOOTBALL is on telly here grrrr.

Sound good?

[Minke]

My DH has always worked nights (he starts at 4/5pm and finishes around 2/3am, and honestly i (now) love it! He's home during the day, so i can go shopping by myself, i have the tv to myself at night, and make really long phone calls to friends and he's not there going "are you still on the phone" (like my friends hubbies are) he usually gets home when bubs needs a feed, so i will get up and have a chat then, and on his two nights off we make sure we spend time together. He spends heaps of time with our DD (and now DS). There are pro's and con's to day or night work... One thing I do miss is eating dinner as a family...

[SassyMummy]

My DP works long and horrible hours: five days a week 10am-10pm most days...though his finishing time really depends on when he finishes up...so it's usually around 11.30 instead...and then there's his travel time back home...so I don't get to see him until late.

What I've decided to do, is keep my daughter in a schedule but make it start later. We get out of bed about 10.30am in the morning and then DD goes to bed about 10pm. I get to stay up with DP for a few hours after he gets home...and then our day starts again.

It's not so good when it comes to making arrangements with other people or going out for the day...but if we plan ahead then we'll just get up earlier that particular day.

I guess if your DP is only having this job until something better comes his way, then changing your whole schedule might be a bit extreme...and I'm not sure if it would work well with older kids...who all seem to get up in sync with the sun...lol.

That's just what I do, anyway.