mimi
15-06-2005, 14:50
I have just been reading the thread here for 'positive posts' on Controlled Crying - so thought it about time there was a thread for people, who wish to make comments and offer ideas on the subject, but who are ANTI-controlled crying.
I take my stand mainly from the negative research I have seen, regarding this, and also from my own experience as a parent. To be honest, I just couldn't do it - even if I hadn't read all the information!! My 'mothering instinct' [if that is what it is??!] would just not allow it!
I have read extensively since becoming a parent and have found that there is no substitute for one's own 'research' - I soon found that many health professionals [not all mind!] were very unreliable in their advice regarding many things, especially breastfeeding, and babies and the care of!! Sad but true! There has even been research done in Australia that shows that information given by health professionals regarding the subject of babies, is often outdated, incorrect and in some cases even contains some standard 'old wives tales'!
So is it any wonder parents are confused, and crying out for help when it comes to raising their children! but anyway!! on to the subject at hand...
It seems that there are the two main -polarized!- ways to get babies to go to sleep. This is basically how I see the differences -
Self soothing/controlled crying/ controlled comforting etc :-
Baby puts himself to sleep - in his own bed/cot, alone and isolated from the rest of the family. Intermittent comforting is offered by parents - but parents must NOT 'give in' to baby's cries and must not pick baby up!! and parents must not be there when he actually goes to sleep. The baby learns that he has to do this himself and doesn't associate going to sleep with parents or carers. May be tough on baby - but the advantage is that, if and when it works, it will be less tiring for the parents ... in the long run.
The crying can be most stressful for both parents and bub, and risks parents, in the end, being less sensitive to the baby's cries/needs. It overlooks the many reasons for waking/sleep problems and baby can lose trust in the parents.
'Parenting' to sleep:-
Parenting baby to sleep means you feed, cuddle, rock sing etc - basically 'comfort' - a baby to sleep. This way bub learns a healthy 'go-to-sleep attitude', maintains parent-infant trust ... and leaves nice memories! When bub wakes up he may need the same things to be done again. This can be tiring for mum &/or dad, if baby is going through a growth spurt or ill or just not a 'good sleeper' - but the parents remain 'in-tune' with the baby's needs and he remains trusting of his parents and the world - 'knows' that his cry is important and he CAN communicate his needs. Parents just see this as 'part of the job' and do it!
In the words of Dr W Sears - Paediatrician, author, father of 8 and champion of attachment parenting. http://www.askdrsears.com/
"Use discernment about advice that promises a sleep-through-the-night more convenient baby, as these programs involve the risk of creating a distance between you and your baby and undermining the mutual trust between parent and child. On the surface, baby training sounds so liberating, but it's a short-term gain for a long-term loss. You lose the opportunity to get to know and become an expert in your baby. Baby loses the opportunity to build trust in his caregiving environment. You cease to value your own biological cues, your judgment, and instead follow the message of someone who has no biological attachment, nor investment, in your infant."
Hundreds of scientific studies have all told us the same basic things. That how we react to our babies in the early days and months affects that child’s whole life. For good emotional development babies need to be well attached to their carers. This depends directly on how responsive parents are to the baby. Insecure attachment can mean an insecure child/teenager and has serious implications with development of personality into much later life.
We have learned that babies need rapid attention to their needs - consistently - and that we should not leave our babies to cry alone, or to have them wait for comfort.
Research tells us that if a baby is NOT left to cry alone,he will be
# a more contented baby,
# who cries less in the long run,
# who is better equipped to handle the normal pains and
frustrations of life, and
# who becomes a more stable and secure child/adult.
In the words of Dr James McKenna PhD [Has studied babies and their sleep for over 20 years] http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/index.html
"....the industrial western world's accepted model of "normal" and "healthy" infant sleep assumes that it is best for the infant to sleep in isolation with minimal parental intervention. But infants were designed to sleep next to their mothers for night-time breastfeeding, so solitary infant sleep represents a novel, if not alien experience, for which not all infants, we contend, are equally prepared....The human infant is born with only 25 percent of its adult brain volume, is the least neurologically mature primate at birth, develops the most slowly... In our enthusiasm to push for infant independence (a recent cultural value), I sometimes think we forget that the infant’s biology cannot change quite so quickly as can cultural child care patterns."
"it is appropriate for babies to awaken during the night ... In fact, although infants can be conditioned to sleep long and hard alone, and without intervention and, hence, fulfill the cultural expectation that the should sleep through the night, the fact remains that they were not designed to do so, and it may not be either in their best biological or psychological interest."
In Australia there is a professional body called the AAIMHI [The Australian Association for Infant Mental Health] Their position statement, pointing out the negative aspects of controlled crying, can be read at http://www.aaimhi.org/polsSubs.htm
Anyway, I have raved on quite enough! Anyone else feel the same or have any tips for non-CC sleep techniques etc!?
I take my stand mainly from the negative research I have seen, regarding this, and also from my own experience as a parent. To be honest, I just couldn't do it - even if I hadn't read all the information!! My 'mothering instinct' [if that is what it is??!] would just not allow it!
I have read extensively since becoming a parent and have found that there is no substitute for one's own 'research' - I soon found that many health professionals [not all mind!] were very unreliable in their advice regarding many things, especially breastfeeding, and babies and the care of!! Sad but true! There has even been research done in Australia that shows that information given by health professionals regarding the subject of babies, is often outdated, incorrect and in some cases even contains some standard 'old wives tales'!
So is it any wonder parents are confused, and crying out for help when it comes to raising their children! but anyway!! on to the subject at hand...
It seems that there are the two main -polarized!- ways to get babies to go to sleep. This is basically how I see the differences -
Self soothing/controlled crying/ controlled comforting etc :-
Baby puts himself to sleep - in his own bed/cot, alone and isolated from the rest of the family. Intermittent comforting is offered by parents - but parents must NOT 'give in' to baby's cries and must not pick baby up!! and parents must not be there when he actually goes to sleep. The baby learns that he has to do this himself and doesn't associate going to sleep with parents or carers. May be tough on baby - but the advantage is that, if and when it works, it will be less tiring for the parents ... in the long run.
The crying can be most stressful for both parents and bub, and risks parents, in the end, being less sensitive to the baby's cries/needs. It overlooks the many reasons for waking/sleep problems and baby can lose trust in the parents.
'Parenting' to sleep:-
Parenting baby to sleep means you feed, cuddle, rock sing etc - basically 'comfort' - a baby to sleep. This way bub learns a healthy 'go-to-sleep attitude', maintains parent-infant trust ... and leaves nice memories! When bub wakes up he may need the same things to be done again. This can be tiring for mum &/or dad, if baby is going through a growth spurt or ill or just not a 'good sleeper' - but the parents remain 'in-tune' with the baby's needs and he remains trusting of his parents and the world - 'knows' that his cry is important and he CAN communicate his needs. Parents just see this as 'part of the job' and do it!
In the words of Dr W Sears - Paediatrician, author, father of 8 and champion of attachment parenting. http://www.askdrsears.com/
"Use discernment about advice that promises a sleep-through-the-night more convenient baby, as these programs involve the risk of creating a distance between you and your baby and undermining the mutual trust between parent and child. On the surface, baby training sounds so liberating, but it's a short-term gain for a long-term loss. You lose the opportunity to get to know and become an expert in your baby. Baby loses the opportunity to build trust in his caregiving environment. You cease to value your own biological cues, your judgment, and instead follow the message of someone who has no biological attachment, nor investment, in your infant."
Hundreds of scientific studies have all told us the same basic things. That how we react to our babies in the early days and months affects that child’s whole life. For good emotional development babies need to be well attached to their carers. This depends directly on how responsive parents are to the baby. Insecure attachment can mean an insecure child/teenager and has serious implications with development of personality into much later life.
We have learned that babies need rapid attention to their needs - consistently - and that we should not leave our babies to cry alone, or to have them wait for comfort.
Research tells us that if a baby is NOT left to cry alone,he will be
# a more contented baby,
# who cries less in the long run,
# who is better equipped to handle the normal pains and
frustrations of life, and
# who becomes a more stable and secure child/adult.
In the words of Dr James McKenna PhD [Has studied babies and their sleep for over 20 years] http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/index.html
"....the industrial western world's accepted model of "normal" and "healthy" infant sleep assumes that it is best for the infant to sleep in isolation with minimal parental intervention. But infants were designed to sleep next to their mothers for night-time breastfeeding, so solitary infant sleep represents a novel, if not alien experience, for which not all infants, we contend, are equally prepared....The human infant is born with only 25 percent of its adult brain volume, is the least neurologically mature primate at birth, develops the most slowly... In our enthusiasm to push for infant independence (a recent cultural value), I sometimes think we forget that the infant’s biology cannot change quite so quickly as can cultural child care patterns."
"it is appropriate for babies to awaken during the night ... In fact, although infants can be conditioned to sleep long and hard alone, and without intervention and, hence, fulfill the cultural expectation that the should sleep through the night, the fact remains that they were not designed to do so, and it may not be either in their best biological or psychological interest."
In Australia there is a professional body called the AAIMHI [The Australian Association for Infant Mental Health] Their position statement, pointing out the negative aspects of controlled crying, can be read at http://www.aaimhi.org/polsSubs.htm
Anyway, I have raved on quite enough! Anyone else feel the same or have any tips for non-CC sleep techniques etc!?