Vent about sister in law.......

[Shan84]

Sorry to come on here and have a rant but I really feel as though I have to.
I have a sister in law who is an extremely manipulative person who loves nothing that a little drama and having the spot light on herself..... I decided when we started TTC to tell a couple of close friends and her as she has an 11 month old so she is someone I can talk to about things pregnancy related I suppose?? She is an extremely difficult person who seems to turn everyone away from her, even my husband who is her brother wont speak with her..... she is very immature for a 31 year old....
Anyway to cut a long story short, she calls me yesterday to tell me her AF is late and she was going to wait until today and get a test if it hadnt arrived which it hasnt.....
She was saying to me oh wouldnt it be exciting if we were pregnant at the same time.....
Well, i wouldnt find it exciting, only because of the fact that I think she has tried to do this at the same time as us so she can share the spotlight (to give it a word). I am now half regretting telling her we were trying as she is the kind of person to do something like this.
Probably hard for people to believe when you dont know what this person is like but it would be her to a tee to do something like this..... just had to vent!
Not that I should be the only pregnant person around when it happens for us, my own sister is trying for a baby and I would be happy if it was her but my sister in law would be doing it so the focus isnt off her and isnt on us for once.

[codswallop]

i get your frustration my hubbys niece is the same, shes three yrs younger than me and 6 weeks after we told the family i was expecting baby #2 she told every one she was also expecting, when i found out ive got a low laying placenta my hubby told his mum(i wasnt going to there old and stress to much) and even though theres a good chance next week i get told im having a c- section on friday ive down played my fears to keep the family calm, she has been in and out of hospital and then cries on grandmas(my dear sweet MIL)shoulder that the doctors dont belive theres somthing wrong and keep sending her home. its just frustrating!!!!:hair:

[Mahjong]

You poor thing, it does sound like a competition from where I am sitting and reading. She sees that if you get pregnant, te "shine" will be taken off her now that her child is 11 months old, so getting pregnant herself, will satisfy her enough and she'll see it as a huge competition whilst you are pregnant together, anything from when you have your scans, how bigs your bumps are, what sex you are having, when you go into labour, how long it is and the babie's stats.

I had a SIL quite like yours, EVERYTHING and I mean EVERYTHING was a huge competition with her regarding me. What I had, SHE wanted. Even after she left my brother, she got wind of me being pregnant with DS2, lo and behold one month later, she announces she's pregnant to the dip**** partner she left my brother for, even though this new guy told her from day dot he didn't want children.
Her baby ended up being premmie by 2 months, and now that she's here in the world and has health issues, SIL doesn't want her, even leaving her in Townsville Hospital and taking off back to Cairns to be with the "boyfriend" :mad: She discovered that no one played into her competition and then it became boring for her :mad: Thank god she's an EX SIL. It was exhausting.

I guess the only advice I can give you is... Dont involve her in the future with any plans you and DH decide to make, she'll just try and compete.

[iMischa]

i completely understand dear. ive got one of 'thoseee' in my family. my older sister to be precise...she knew we were ttc and slammed me for it 'why would u want more? omg' as if children were nothing more than a burden....then boom 2 months later 'oh everyone im having a baby!!!' just...typical! lol.

all i can say is, get angry about it then let it go...dont even let her play a factor into ur life or ur stress levels. focus on how u are going to be an awesome mother!

she's obviously got a very pathetic existance if she needs so much attention lol issues much!

[LilShenanigans]

When in Rome ... do as the hubby does and don't speak to her!

Im a little boggled over the fact that you do, when even your hubby doesnt? .. maybe just me, but it's like big red alarms going not to speak to family in that position.

Anyway, agree with previous... get angry and get past it. Need any advice you come online from now on!! If you don't like anyone here, you can ignore them... we don't do spotlights either :D

[Shan84]

Thanks for the replies! Makes me feel much better to know im not alone!!
She is a nightmare, the reason I speak to her is to keep the peace ive put her in her place a couple of times before, hubby is more embarassed that she is his sister because of the way she carrys on and the things she does.
The main reason I don't ignore her is because of our nephew, dont want that little bub/boy to suffer because of his Mum being an idiot.
Luckily she lives 6 hours away, but she still manages to cause a drama everytime she visits.
And advice taken! I will come on here for advice from now on, just thought id give her the benefit of the doubt on something for once and it didnt work so ive learned my lesson!!

[Shan84]

Just one more thing, you might ask why she bothers me seeing as though she lives so far away but she does!! The constant phone calls, text messages, emails etc.... which is why I think she is more competitive because we live near her family and she doesnt I think she trys even harder to keep the focus on her..... I dont try to compete with anyone,I am just me.
I'll just have to try ignore her because im very happy with my life and dont want that to change!!

[meggs]

Oh Im sorry to hear that but I sooooo get you! My SIL is the same she is so jealous and nasty and has done the exact same thing getting pregnant when I was... She doesnt speak to me now though i should prob be grateful haha...if you ever need to chat pm me we can vent together :D

[Broken]

I get how you're feeling. We're getting married in a few weeks and when we got engaged 9 months ago, I asked SIL to be my Maid of Honour. Her response 'oh ok, ummm, let me think for a minute. Umm, yeah ok, I think I can do that' and no, she wasn't joking. Since then she's made the whole thing about her.

2 weeks ago she announces that she's 5 weeks pregnant. I saw red. She knew that we would be TTC #2 either just before the wedding (now) or straight after. Now, she's shifted the focus from our wedding to their baby. I got so cranky but now I feel terrible for feeling that way because it looks like she might miscarry. A lot of people have commented to me though that they could have held off TTC this close to the wedding (very fitted dress etc etc) but I don't think they should have to plan their family around our day. Still made me a bit cranky though.

Rambling, sorry. Try not to worry about your SIL.

[ringneck]

know how you feel when we got engaged my SIL got jealous and tried to force herself into bridesmaid position then she met a guy and got knocked up within the month to take focus off us. When we announced we were TTC she announced she was engaged. It doesnt bother me though i just think its sad and pathetic.

[Shan84]

Geez there are alot of people out there who just love some drama and attention on themselves!!
Makes me confused because I am the opposite but I guess we all balance out the world some how??
I just try to laugh about it sometimes cause if not it makes me cranky!!!
Thanks again everyone :)

[muls]

My best friends brother sounds like all these pathetic people. He always takes attention away from her like buying a house just months after her even though he hadn't even been looking and at her wedding we were so worried that he was going to propose to his girlfriend of 3min so his father warned him not to ruin her day!!! He would've done it otherwise!!
Some people need a life really LOL