separation anxiety... for dad

[Petal_339]

hi there,
i'm after some advice - unlike lots of others in this group my dh is not in a position where he deploys for long periods of time - however he does travel a lot with the RAAF - i also travel a lot for work - so between us we usually have three trips a month taking turn about as we have no family support / any form of support in this current posting. Our little boy is 2 and another on the way - Our DS - seems to have really bad separation anxiety - but only for dad. He spends a great deal out of each day saying to anyone who will listen "my daddy is gone" ... even if he's not gone - even if he's in the next room? its so sad this is the only full sentence he can actually say !. he seems so sad when he says it too. He doesn't seem nearly as worried or upset when i'm away ! Would love to hear how others have dealt with such issues.

[JJBS]

Hi Petal,
My Husband is also in the RAAF - and he is away on lots of little trips too. My son was a lot like this! I sort of diverted him away from the negative "gone" and try and let him know what was happening (just how much does a two year old understand about the world?!). Like when he said something about dad I would say, "that's right, Daddy's at work - he's coming home ...". We made sure that dad said goodbye when he left and when he would be home and after a little while DS started grabbing his backpack and putting on his hat saying "going to work - see you later!" (Soooo cute!!!) He seems to be adusting a lot better, oh and we love video calling! I also find that he has less seperation anxiety with me because I am always here! (Us mums sure have to have a thick skin sometimes!!) Hope things become a little more positive for you and yours really soon!

[KJEmum]

My little girl is 22mths and she knows daddy isn't here but show her pics of him and she knows it's him. She says hello on the phone and listens to him. She had a bit of anxiety when he was away for a month and ran to his pc chair looking for him.. but hasn't done anything since.
I'm the main carer which is why she wouldn't react how your boy would but who is the main carer between you two .. do you take more care of him while DH is at work when you're home or does he .. I dunno but the bond between a boy and his dad is different .. I also say 'daddy's at work' .. always worked for my 3 kids.

:)