View Full Version : DH wont let me keep my promise...
LittleBoysRock
02-05-2006, 18:12
I am having a bit of a debate with DH at the moment over the name of our next child (who is not even concieved yet!!). We are hoping for a girl next and therefore have been throwing around girls names. We are going to be TTC late this year.
I made a promise to my Grandmother that I would use her name if I ever had a girl. My Nan passed away nearly 2 years ago unexpectedly. I was very very close to her. Her name was Ruby, which I just love!!
If we have a girl I would really like to call her Ruby after my Nan (it is REALLY important to me). DH hates the name and doesnt want me to use it as a first name. He is ok with using it as a second name. If we have a boy though, he is happy to call him Reuben.
When I was pregnant with DS we had agreed that the name would be Ruby Rose after both our grandmothers....now he has changed his mind!
Should I give in?? Does anybody have any suggestions for changing a stubborn DH's mind??
littlepickle
02-05-2006, 18:14
Hi,
Would you be able to compromise by having your grandmothers name as a middle name? As you were very close to your grandmother, I can quite understand that yu would want to use her name, and as it was something you have already agreed on, I think you are quite within your rights to feel strongly about this
Femme-Fetale
02-05-2006, 18:17
This is only my opinion but i would fight for your right to keep the promise for 2 reasons.
He actually agreed with you before about it
im assuming the child will take HIS family surname so i think its only fair you have a family members name used as well, and if its the 1st name - so be it!!
You made a promise, its important to you, fight for it! At the end of the day he will get used to it, and probably come to love it just as much in the end.
BTW - i think its a beautiful name and a even sweeter gesture! :hugs:
EskimoMumma
02-05-2006, 19:13
This is only my opinion but i would fight for your right to keep the promise for 2 reasons.
He actually agreed with you before about it
im assuming the child will take HIS family surname so i think its only fair you have a family members name used as well, and if its the 1st name - so be it!!
You made a promise, its important to you, fight for it! At the end of the day he will get used to it, and probably come to love it just as much in the end.
BTW - i think its a beautiful name and a even sweeter gesture! :hugs:
HottStreak pretty much summed it up for me. Try and comprimise and really talk it out with him
misskittyfantastico
02-05-2006, 19:59
I agree. This is really important to you and you need to express that to him...I'm sure he'll come round....it's such a beautiful name!
steph_alyssa
02-05-2006, 20:02
i agree with hottstreak. stick to your guns about this one.
and it is really a beautiful name!! my grandmothers are beryl and dorothy ... :eek: hmmmmmm didn't name bub after them!!
i hope he changes his mind!!
MilkOnTap
02-05-2006, 20:13
I'm gonna step out and risk getting slapped in the face for this... I think that a compromise to use Ruby as a middle name would be fair. I mean, it would be his daughter too - right?
Although, he does tend to confuse me by having had agreed to the name previously... Men! :confused:
SamanthaJane
02-05-2006, 20:17
:thumbsdown: to him lol
i think you should keep pestering him... maybe leave it till u are pregnant but dont give up, im definitley on your side... a promise is a promise!!
no ideas on how to change his mind? sorry... i'll have a think about it:hugs:
we have decided to use past down names as middle names but if you feel strongly about it stick your ground. ive heard of ladies in the midst of massive labour pains when their dp feel the most sorry for them demanding a certain name. how could the men resist lol... good luck. ps i think ruby rose is a pretty name:D
aardvark
02-05-2006, 21:36
It was very important to me to use my Grandmother's name when I named my first child. It is an old fashioned name which was certainly not suitable as a first name, but we gave it as a second name. My Grandmother was still alive at the time, we were extraordinarily close, and my daughter was her first great-grandchild.
If it is important to you, I'd stand your ground if you can. A middle name is still using the name though.
My other grandmother used to say that a person is never really dead as long as they are remembered by someone. Even passing the name on as a middle name ensures someone will remember who they were for a long time to come.
Rahmi'sMum
02-05-2006, 21:46
I agree with your husband on this one - my hubby and I had talked about naming our first boy James, after his father who was killed when my hubby was only 3.
This was a BIG deal for him. He had always thought that this is what he would do.
Well, I agreed... but when I was pregnant, it was a whole different story. I wanted to name MY child, I wanted to be part of the naming process... so, we chose Rahmi's first name together and his middle name is James.
If he doesn't like the name Ruby - I think a middle name is a good compromise.
MumsieMel
03-05-2006, 06:27
if you compramise and name her Rose Ruby, then you could always call her Ruby if you wanted IYKWIM?
Good luck!
Why don't you just ignore him and pretend it is all just settled and Ruby is her name and call the bump Ruby and no more discussion until you find out if it is a boy or a girl - or you need a signature on the birth registration... :laughing:
Maybe he will just get used to it by then.
SamanthaJane
03-05-2006, 10:43
Why don't you just ignore him and pretend it is all just settled and Ruby is her name and call the bump Ruby and no more discussion until you find out if it is a boy or a girl - or you need a signature on the birth registration...
Maybe he will just get used to it by then.
:laughing: :laughing: :laughing: I should do that!!! lol:D
Just agree with whatever he says and say you love whatever name he chooses, the you fill out the forms with the name you love! :laughing: Just joking.
If he agreed to the name previously then i dont see why he has changed his mind.
He gets to have his last name so you should get the first two lol just jokes.
Umm...Well i guess if you cant persuade him maybe you could have a first name then Ruby-Rose as a middle name. What would he think of that?
Ruby Rose is beautiful though.
You may not have a girl, you may have a boy and call him Reuben. That would solve the problem!!
All the best in convincing your DP! :)
Ruby Rose is absolutely gorgeous!!!!
I wanted to call my DD Ruby, after my great grandmother, but my DH didn't like it for a first name....he thought it was old fashioned- but everybody else loved the idea! We agreed to a compromise, and ruby is in her middle name.
good luck........i'd keep pushing because its such a cute name!!!!! ;)
Ruby Rose is gorgeous:thumbsup:
Ruby is a spunky antique.
If it were me:
Ruby Rosalind
Ruby Rosaline
or
Rosalind Ruby
Rosaline Ruby
Rosetta Ruby
RedPanda
12-05-2006, 17:16
Names can be so hard to agree on! I reckon give it some time and then discuss it again later down the track! After all, if he changed his mind once, he may change it again!:D
quriouskey
09-06-2006, 17:58
If your DH is like mine, and since he's already changed his mind once :) ...
Maybe if you don't mention it for a few months, he'll forget he said he didn't like it, and when you mention it again he'll think he always liked it.
WizzFizz
09-06-2006, 18:56
I LOOOOOVE RUBY!!
It would be lovely for you to have a girl so you could name her (hopefully) in honour of your Grandmother, however, if you have a boy there will be no fights as you said you've agreed on Rueben (love that too!)
Keep on him sister!:p
LittleBoysRock
09-06-2006, 20:55
Thanks guys!!
I will show your replies to DH very soon....
The good news is that he has agreed to use the first name Ruby as long as we use my middle name as our "DD's" middle name.
I loathe my middle name but it will be worth it!!! I will get to fulfil my promise which is what matters most to me. And I LOVE the name Ruby. Now I just need to concieve a GIRL!!! :p
I agree that a promise is a promise, but i guess he does also have to like the name too.
I changed my mind about DS a week after he was born, and DH didnt give me too much greif about wanting to change it, as he said you cant have a name that you dont love.
But i think a good compromise is Ruby for a middle name.
Although i am stumped that he likes reuben and not ruby? weird!
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