Hubby going for 8 months

[Nettwins]

Hey all! I haven't been on here as often as I would like lately, kids demanding lots of my time. Well as its says above, my DH is going away for 8 months. We have done a deployment before but this will be our first with the kids. My little boy has started to develop separation anxitety due to DH's recent comings and goings in the past month and there is still more to come in the next 3 1/2 weeks before he goes away. And then not to mention coming back for ROCL somewhere in the middle of all that.
Just wandering what you guys experienced with your first deployment with kids and if you found it easier or harder than a deployment before kids. Did you develop any sort of routine to make it easier?
Thanks for listening and any help/advice would be greatly appreciated.

[lavenderpegasus]

wow 8 months away, I didn't realise they existed... Anywho

My first posting with Spencer was a 6 month one and I guess I would recomend is having a routine. SOmething along the lines of having a diary ALWAYS opened on a table or something that lets you know what is planned for that day. Whats for dinner and something exciting to do, even if its a walk or visiting friends.
I find the dinner planner great one night before grocery shopping i right down all the things I want and then write a shopping list. Then write all the dinners down in the day that i think they may work best. eg Saturday we have swimming lessons and they make everyone tired so something that is easy to prepare and something I can just chuck on in the morning and have ready by the time dinner comes round.(usually a slow cook recipe) .
I also had a routine on Spencers door, to keep in check what was going on with him, and suggestions to help when things get tough. If he won't go for a sleep,I would go for a walk, if he was cranky/bored we would play with playdough.
I guess if you are going to have a routine, make sure it isn't too packed with stuff to do that you get stressed by the demanding days, and feel free to change things around to make your days work they should just be suggestions for the day.

Oh and make sure you catch up with people...V important

HIH
lp in wa

[MilkOnTap]

LP has it on the money! Everything she said :yes:

Good luck with the deployment :hugs:

[earthfairy]

Hey Hun,

I dont have kids yet (1st on the way) but my DH is in the forces too so i kind of know how you are feeling & just wanted to let you know that im thinking of you & sending you lots of hugs:hugs::hugs::hugs:

It's not an easy job being married to the defence force - keep your chin up babe:kiss:

xx

[KJEmum]

My DS had seperation anxiety but that was when he started school and although DH was away for like 3mths each time, I think it was more a school thing than a dad thing... however #3, I feel she's feeling the pinch. Each night she pretty much demands to sleep in my bed with me and this only started when he left for his 5mth trip. When I say demands, it's not settle until she gets her wish. Not quite good for 1am.

My older two coped pretty well to dad being 'at work' for 3mths at a time with a short stint home in between. When I say they coped, I mean they didn't pine for daddy or keep asking when he's coming home .. I mean they did on and off but it wasn't a daily thing .. more like after a week or two.
You do need routine and structure because it's for your own sanity aswell. However we are also more relaxed and although we still have routine, it's a more relaxed one. They have a job list on the fridge they stick to each night ie feed dog/cats/rubbish/dishwasher. We go to the park each evening before dinner with our dog.

Basically same **** different day.

I also take the opportunity to visit friends and am more flexible and we can come and go as we please.

Have to say 8mths is a hefty length of time and having twins will be a challenge. If you can put the twins into occasional care once a week that'd be a weight off your shoulders and give you some relief. I've seen my friend Nat in action with her twin girls and she's amazing but it takes soooo much strength and stamina to get out and about, you need to have focus and planning.

Invite friends to your place rather than you battle with twins to get to the car and so on. Enjoy the dry season of Darwin while it's still around. Darwin has a great defence community .. make the most of those base playgroups !! there is always someone willing to pick up a little bubba and give you a break :)

[leashr]

Hey Nettwins :wave:,

My Dh is also leaving in 5 weeks to commence an 8-9 month deployment, we have a 7 month old little boy together and i often wonder if he will remember his dad or know who he is on his return.

I have taken lots of photos and video of them together, so hopefully in someone they can develope a relationship.

I know it will be very hard and am not looking forward to it but at the end of the day it's something i'm also used to. Just take each day as it comes and plan your days so that you have something to look forward too.

Best of Luck, hope it sails by

[Seacretsquirrel]

They there well now I get the for the next 8 months thing in the meet post...
Well all the very best for the long stint away I.
I will get onto the meet but if you need a break or some adult conversation I am at Palmerston and am pretty free most days (I am PG so not really doing too much) so please feel free to PM me if you want to grab a coffee or something.
:hugs:

[Nettwins]

Thanks ladies will take all that on board. Its nice to know that there are others who have been in the same boat. Most of our friends haven't done deployments yet and so are up for the first as well so it's nice to be able to bounce ideas around here and know that you well get some help that's what I love about the defence wife network. Thanks again everyone.