Mum talking another language ...

[Cian's Mum]

HI everyone.

I need some advice on " which language to talk " to my Baby.

I'm pregnant and French .. my DH is Australian.
I don't know which language I'll talk ... I know 2 different schools :

- Mum who only talks to the kid in her own language , and Dad is talking English to the kid .

- Mum who decides to introduce the second language later on as the child can confuse himself or "stop talking at all , all the sudden " because he does not know what to speak ...

Any experiences to share ? :D

Thanks a lot for your help.

[MumsieMel]

Hi

My DH talks Tagalog
And this is what i want him to do :rolleyes:

Talk only Tagalog when he is with them by himself.
Talk english to them when im there.
I talk english, i dont speak tagalog, only a few words.

Hope this helps

[shed]

Oooh, Beatrice, I just read a book about this actually...now what did it say?...

I think it said you should speak in your mother tongue to your child and your husband should speak in his. When you try and teach your second language they don't learn it as well and get more confused than if they're speaking two languages.

They don't get them mixed up because the patterns of speech are different when its the mother tongue. Its only when someone with a different mother tongue starts teaching them another language that they get confused because the patterns are all out of whack.

You need to start talking to bubby in utero in french so he will recognise the flow and pattern of your speech. When Dad talks he will recognise the difference in the flow and pattern of english to french.

Now...was that right? hmm. I think so.

Lucky lucky baby growing up completely bilingual. How fantastic!!

[InSaneOne]

if it was me i would speak english until they get the hang of it and is saying short sentences. then you could introduce french slowly like you do english 1 word at a time. like telling the child when he says mum or dad or hungry tell him that word in french too so he understands both.

[browniebear]

One of my employers was Korean and he and his wife spoke english really well. So they spoke mainly Korean to him at home and taught him english as well and he coped OK. Children under 7 are really eady to teach multiple languages because their palates are still soft enough they can pick it up really easily and speak like a native so to speak.

But I think you should teach your child to be bi-lingual because it will be an important part of his heritage to know both lanuages IYKWIM?

[Cian's Mum]

Thanks Girls for your answers.

I definitely want my child to know both , French and English . It's a matter of knowing the right time to do it ...
I know friends who tried to talk the two ( Mum talks French and Dad English ) and poor kid stopped talking completely ...:no:
And another Friend who speaks Russian to her kid ( his speaking fluent Russian now !!! ) , and he is starting to speak English because he's going to childcare ...:yes:

Shed : to you mind asking what is the book you read ?

Take care.

[shed]

Beatrice, I wish I could remember. When I found out I was pregnant I read about 15 books.

I got it at the library, but I have forgotten which one it was.

Actually, now that I think about it...it might have been one of my uni psychology books instead. About human speech patterns.

Hmm...I can't remember. Hopeless!!

[zactyl]

Talk to your baby in French! Some children who are learning to speak in two languages will start talking a bit later than children who are learning only one, as it's twice as much information to take in and process, but by around 3 it all falls into place and they're fine! I would strongly recommend French right from the start (ie NOW!) if you're serious about wanting your child to know both languages. Starting at a later age will be harder for the child, and they may simply not be interested if everyone else around them is speaking English. Do it now!
I've worked in Childcare with plenty of children from bilingual homes and none of them have had problems communicating. It's pretty amazing hearing someone on the phone to their parents speaking fluently in another language when you've only heard them speaking English! :laughing:

Here's a link with some good information:
http://www.scholastic.com/earlylearner/experts/language/3_5_bilingualhome.htm

[becca74]

I say speak to your child in French....

One of my best friends is Hungarian, her husband is Sri Lankan, and they live in the UK. Their kids instinctively know to speak Hungarian to her, her husband's languange to him, and english at school - and they are very bright kids as a result! :thumbsup:

[jmacg]

I would say speak in French. I teach French and when we were doing our training they said that was the best way. We have friends he is Dutch and speaks only in Dutch to the children and his wife speaks English. The children understand the Dutch but at the moment are reluctant to reply in Dutch so answer in Englsih. When their grandparetns visit they do speak in Dutch to them. Billingual children often speak the language of the country they live in as they want to fit in. Hope this helps. I plan to speak bit of French to my daughter. My mum taught French and German and certain phrase she would only say in French or German this encouraged both of us (me and my bro) to want to learn languages. Will do this with my baby too.

Bonne chance!


Jxx

[arthursmum]

Salut Béatrice!
I think i read that the current thought among child psychologists is that each parent should talk to their children in their respective mother tongue from birth. Children are so incredibly receptive and adaptable that they work it out themselves. It may take them a little longer to begin talking than children with only one language.
Personally, coming from a country of one official language (Australia) and moving to one of four languages (Switzerland), i think that your children are fortunate to have the opportunity to speak more than one language, it opens up SOOOO much more of the world to them.:thumbsup:
We have many friends here of mixed nationality relationships and all their children are perfectly bi-lingual at age 3/4, some even have 3 languages at age 5. They all understand that each language is separate from the others.

Cheers et bonne continuation!

[Veruca]

Bonjour Beatrice,
Nice to say hello to a fellow frog :) My six month old son is spoken to in French when I visit my parents and seems to understand what's going on. I choose certain days where I will speak to him only in French, including singing French songs ( thank goodness for the internet:D ) My partner is australian so I feel like my boy is getting a balanced exposure to different languages.

A bientot
Marthe:chef:

[Cian's Mum]

Thanks a lot Girls ... Un grand merci a vous toutes !!!:thumbsup:

Thanks for your advices ... a great help for me ...:smiliedance:

Take care.

[jessgray]

there is evidence many toddlers are capabale of learnign and speakign two langauage by age 2 so i would say go for it:thumbsup:

[kymmy]

Beatrice, it is a great idea to allow your child
to experience what they can of the
world, all the various cultures especially his own.

I wish my children knew more of their culture,
(my husband is Maori). Kia Ora!
But i love them to learn about everything

Now my daughter is at school she loves to
learn other languages.
It is very exciting...

[Charlie's Mum]

Hi Beatrice, I've definitely heard that you should speak both languages from day one. I lived in France for a few years and want my Charlie to grow up speaking it so I speak French to him when we are alone and english when my partner is home. We plan on living in France one day so hopefully my partner will pick it up too!

[Ana Gram]

That's fantastic that your child be have an early start to learning two languages! One thing to remember though is that with learing two at the same time, they do take a little longer with language skills so don't stress!

[lukaelmo]

Hey Beatrice,

I was an au pair in France for 2 kids, 3 and 5. Their mum was Belgian and spoke to them in French. Their dad was Irish and spoke in English. I spoke in English at first and then French. They went to two schools, a French one 3 days a week, and an English on two days a week.

They never had any trouble whatsoever in switching languages, whenever they wanted. I have read that children reared in bilingual homes may take a little longer to start speaking, but they soon catch up.

If I were you I would speak to your child in French, if that is what is natural for you...

Et si tu veux, tu peux m'en parler en francais aussi; il me manque un peu de practiqe ces derniere temps :laughing:.

[Cian's Mum]

Hi everyone.

Thanks a lot for your help ... you have been great ... :smiliedance:

It might sounds a bit weard , but it's actually hard to say if it's natural or not : our Baby is an " IVF Baby " and when I had my embryo transfered , I talked to my little one in English straight away !!! why ?? NO IDEA !!!!:D and I have been to talking to "it " in English since then :confused:

As a lot of you said , kids pick up so quickly another language ...

I'll go and "medidate" on all of your post Ladies :laughing:
Thanks again.

lukaelmo : Salut ! Ou est ce que tu habitais en France ? as tu aime ton sejour ?
A plus tard.

[faery]

hi beatrice

my parents are both polish. mum was born in canada, but dad only came over when he was an adult. my brothers and sister and i had both polish and english spoken at home and we learned french at school.

my mum would talk to us in english, dad would talk to us in polish, sometimes mum would also slide into polish. and we would repy in english usually, but had to speak in polish to my grandparents, as they didn't understand english very well.

polish is a true second language to us. i don't even have to think about it. but french was introduced when we were older (canada is bilingual and every kid has to learn it in school). it was much harder to learn later on and i haven't really retained much of it.

i really want to introduce Jarrah to a second, even a third language. I love being able to understand other languages!

[shed]

Oh man, I want a french baby too!!

I am just getting an aussie one.

Half kiwi though, so there's some hope. At least I will be able to teach him to talk in a dodgy accent until he goes to school and gets it beaten out of him, LOL!!

[Cian's Mum]

Thanks everyone.

faery : wow ...how many languages to you speak ? English , Polish and French ....:thumbsup:

shed ; you made me laugh when you said that your kid will have a funny accent !!!:laughing:

My DH leaved in Germany , so we could even push to a third language !!! poor Baby , he does not know what's waiting for him !!!:banghead:

Have a great week end Girls ...:smiliedance:

[Starlet]

My mother is Thai and knew very little english when I was born, my father is English and his only spoke a few words Thai. So I grew up with mum talking mainly Thai to me and Dad in English.

I used to be able to speak Thai fluently(have gotten a bit slack with it, but I can still speak some and understand it).

[Cian's Mum]

Thanks Starlet for sharing your experience.

Take care .

[LucyE]

I did a lot of reading about this too when I found out I was pregnant (gosh, don't we feel under pressure to do the 'right' thing). Basically, even though the current 'expert' opinion is to have one parent speak one language (eg. mum french, dad english), I found out that this is a fairly new theory and a consequence is that the child will have a gender bias towards each language.

I decided to just do what felt comfortable for us so I speak to DS in mandarin, taiwanese and english (predominantly), DH speaks only english but occassionally reads books in german, my parents speak only mandarin or taiwanese, FIL speaks only english and MIL speaks english with occassional german.

DS started talking around 8 months (mum mum, Bea - our dog, Dada etc) and hasn't stopped since. He seems to instinctively know what language to use for each person and if he says something they can't understand, he will switch languages. He understands and uses english and taiwanese equally well, understands mardarin okay and only understands certain german words that he hears regularly. At 2yrs old, he is now talking in short sentences (approx 4-8 words long although I haven't really kept track of his longest sentence) in both english and taiwanese.

[Cian's Mum]

Well done with your DS , LucyE :thumbsup: , he's doing great ... thanks for your post.
Take care.

[lukaelmo]

lukaelmo : Salut ! Ou est ce que tu habitais en France ? as tu aime ton sejour ?
A plus tard.


Salut Beatrice!

Je viens de voir ta reponse...

J'ai passe 5 ans en France, un an a Paris, au Vesinet. Je suis retournee en Australie quelques temps et puis quand je suis revenue a la france, j'habitais a Lyon... Il y a presque 7 ans maintenant. C'est pour ca que j'ai mis beaucoup de temps a ecrire ce post :laughing: .

[BlessedWithBlue]

Hi

My DH talks Tagalog
And this is what i want him to do :rolleyes:

Talk only Tagalog when he is with them by himself.
Talk english to them when im there.
I talk english, i dont speak tagalog, only a few words.

Hope this helps

Same as us:thumbsup: df speaks Tagalog to the kids when he is with them and mainly English at home although when we go to df's mum's house she doesn't speak the best English so they get spoken to in both Tagalog and English while we're there. The kids also understand when they are being spoken to in Tagalog (even my 18 month old lol)

Ods has picked up a lot and i find him coming to me speaking Tagalog and i have no clue what he is talking about and then he will repeat himself to me in English as i don't speak Tagalog and understand minimal.

[Cian's Mum]

HI Ladies .

lukaelmo : tu as l'airde parler drolement bien ... Thanks for your post .. it's lovely to read a bit of french !!!

My2Boys0917 : thanks for sharing your experience . It's amazing what children can pick up .

Well , I've been speaking French to my Little One ... see what happens when I'll be out !!!
One thing I know , he responds really well to music that I started to listen to very early in the stage of PGnancy ...

Take care everyone.

[KiLLaKaZ]

i studied linguistics at college (in japan) & uni here in australia & they taught us (as previously mentioned) that children don't get confused between the 2 (or more) languages they may be taught when growing up. i would use both languages from the beginning if i were u so the baby can become fluent. in europe children are often raised knowing MANY languages & don't usually get confused between them - one of my linguistics teachers was raised learning SEVEN languages!! they are stored in different parts of the brain, can't remember exactly how it all works, tho - i finished uni a few years ago :o

[Cian's Mum]

Hi KiLLaKaZ.

That is very interesting what you are saying ... thank you very much for your help ... and congratulations and your child .. looks beautiful ... and not old AT ALL !!!!

Take care .

[zenifa]

Just thought you may be interested in this. I've recently discovered this website www.upabebe.com and you can buy mulitilingual audio read along books, dictionaries, posters and bilingual story books in many languages. Its based in Sydney. I've just ordered some books, so I will let you know what they are like when I get them. My parents are of eastern european background and we hoping that my DD will be multilingual like her mummy!!

[Baby Girl]

A little boy that used to go to day care with my 3yr old DD can speak 4 languages (as well as english) fluently and he is about 4 yrs old!!

He lives with his Mum, Dad, Nan and Pop....

His Mum speaks to him in Italian.
His father speaks to him in Greek.
His Grandmother speaks to him in Spanish.
His Grandfather speakes to him in Czech.
And they all speak english when they are not one on one with him.

I don't quite know the family tree but I was blown away by it!

[Cian's Mum]

Thank you very much for your help ...

zenifa : I will have a look at this website ... thanks .

schmell : thank you for sharing your story ... wow , that is amazing !!!

Take care ...

[tickles]

Being bilingual myself is such a great skill to have and I am so grateful to my parents for their persistence and patience with continuing to speak Chinese with me as I was born in OZ. They were very strict to keep our traditions and culture going. And I had no troubles learning English - as a matter of fact, I speak english with all my cousins and speak Chinese with my parents (and oldies), it just comes naturally.

I also, picked up 2 other chinese dialects while growing up although not very fluent but just enough.

I am now a mum myself and have a 15month old daughther and she is starting to speak. I speak to her in Chinese (Hakka dialect - there are many chinese dialects) Hubby's side speaks to her in Cantonese another chinese dialect and English in between. I feel that she understands when we speak different lanugages, although I don't know if she knows that they are different?

It's harder to ensure that they will continue to understand and speak the second lanugage as they grow older - when they get to school, english will become a natural easier language, so it is important to be persistent and consistent at home especially during schooling years as a lot of my cousins and even my brother cannot speak chinese very well. Parents surrender and end up accepting to speak english all the time. So the 2nd language becomes lost.

In my opinion, it is a personal choice and there is no right or wrong. But you just got to be persistent and consistent if you want the results for the long term.

I haven't done much reading about this, so all I can offer is my own experience being bilingual because my parents spoke to me in Chinese and attempting to do the same for my daughter now.

All the best !!!
xoxo

[Cian's Mum]

tickles:

Thank you for sharing your story ... I'll try my best !!!:thumbsup:

Take care .

[Bubbamamma]

I just found this post, but I hope you will forgive me if I jump in with the other side of the story.
My father is Swedish, but refused to speak Swedish at home, so I grew up without the benefit of learning his language from birth. I learnt it at Saturday school when I was about 10, and am now fluent (after spending some years in Sweden).
Being able to share your thoughts and feelings in the language of your homeland is invaluable. Speaking from personal experience, it is so much more difficult to pick up all the nuances of a second language later, even in childhood. I am now speaking only Swedish to my son, and I believe that his life will be richer for it.
So please speak French with your beautiful baby - he will thank you for it later.

[Cian's Mum]

Bubbamamma : thanks for sharing your experience .

Yes , I started to talk French to my Little One since the beginning and I plan to speak French only with him and my DH will speak to him in English ...:rolleyes:

Take care .

[MordecaiAliVanAllenO'Shea]

Zenifa - thankyou sooooo much for that link, I will definitely be buying some of those for my DS (English/Punjabi).:thumbsup:
Mel