Early termination - medical or surgical?

[Smurfchick]

I'd really appreciate opinions on this choice I need to make, especially from anyone who's been here before. Until I started looking I didn't even realise there was a choice of how to terminate. But before 7 weeks apparently I can choose between a medical and a surgical termination.

Surgical termination is, well, surgical :(. Medical termination is a combination of an injection to stop the cells dividing and implanting, followed by tablets a few days later to contract the uterus. It sounds better than surgical, except that you actually pass the tissue and bleed all at home. Alone. And I don't know if I could handle that. Plus the medical option has a slightly higher risk of not working, in which case you have to get a surgical one done anyways.

Opinions? Please?

[Smurfchick]

Thanks Bonnygrace. To answer your question, no, there's no way I could keep this baby.

I know the Marie Stopes clinic here in Melbourne offers medical termination and I think they do counselling regardless which option. I've miscarried before, it wasn't painful. It didn't occur to me that a termination that way could be painful :confused: Something more to think about. :(

[makingalolaorliam]

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:
I hope everything goes ok :hugs:

[V8]

I agree with Bronny, i'd be going the surgical option, my best friends other friend had a termination that was the injection and then tablet, it didn't work, so she had to have follow up blood tests, ultrasounds things like that, and then still have the surgical option, so she went through unnecessary angst about what was happening. I know i'd rather just go the surgical option, it is just like a curette. But i do urge you to have counselling. There is also a thread in this section which has many others who have shared their termination story (myself included).

All the best at such a difficult time. :hugs:

[Duchessa]

I've had both. Unfortunately with the medical one, I had some retained products of conception and had to have a d&c anyway. Physiologically, I think the medical one is easier on the body, general anaesthetics are not good. You can request a d&c with a local though.

Best of luck. It is not a nice thing to have to go through. :hugs:

[susmamma]

I remember when I had my termination I had to wait a few weeks before they would do the procedure (the embryo had to be over 7 or 8 weeks gestation and I found out at about 3 or 4 weeks). It was truly the worst few weeks of my life having to wait to terminate and I suspect in retrospect, that it played some part in the guilt I continued to carry around with me for more years than I care to remember.
Even at that stage (1999) the abortion pill was available in other countries and I recall being frustrated that it wasnt an option in Australia at the time.

I think at this point it is probably viable for you to use either method. I wouldnt think the medical termination would hurt any more than a miscarriage at the same gestation. I know I was in quite a bit of pain and had some rather heavy blood loss for some weeks after the surgical termination.

What I would suggest though is independant councelling prior to the termination. I recognise the clinics themselves offer a service, but honestly, I found it as close to useless as you can get.

Whilst you may recognise this is not the right time for you, that there is no way you can have this baby (as did I), I wish oh wish (retrospectively) that I'd had someone to talk through all the issues I faced at the time. Whilst I suspect I would still have made the same decision, having someone to sit and talk with me about why I was making that decision would have made a huge difference. And a one off, 15 minute session before you walk in for your termination, is no where near enough time, or sessions to help you cope with the loss, the grief and the situation you find yourself in.

Once you have made this decision there is no reversing it. And the enormity of that statement doesnt really sink in until it is too late to change your mind. To know you have talked and talked and talked it out with someone who will listen to you and offer support is unquantifiable in terms of the assistance it will give you later to move on and to heal from this. Admittedly, not all women suffer emotionally from a termination, but most I have known do. I can only think that if we as women, were given some voice to discuss this issue prior to the procedure, without having to hide it and pretend it's not happening, we might find it in ourselves to forgive the decision, or at least to feel satisfied that it was the right course of action for us at the time.


Good luck. :hugs:

[shelle65]

What I would suggest though is independant councelling prior to the termination. I recognise the clinics themselves offer a service, but honestly, I found it as close to useless as you can get.

Whilst you may recognise this is not the right time for you, that there is no way you can have this baby (as did I), I wish oh wish (retrospectively) that I'd had someone to talk through all the issues I faced at the time. Whilst I suspect I would still have made the same decision, having someone to sit and talk with me about why I was making that decision would have made a huge difference. And a one off, 15 minute session before you walk in for your termination, is no where near enough time, or sessions to help you cope with the loss, the grief and the situation you find yourself in.

Once you have made this decision there is no reversing it. And the enormity of that statement doesnt really sink in until it is too late to change your mind. To know you have talked and talked and talked it out with someone who will listen to you and offer support is unquantifiable in terms of the assistance it will give you later to move on and to heal from this. Admittedly, not all women suffer emotionally from a termination, but most I have known do. I can only think that if we as women, were given some voice to discuss this issue prior to the procedure, without having to hide it and pretend it's not happening, we might find it in ourselves to forgive the decision, or at least to feel satisfied that it was the right course of action for us at the time.



:iagree: So very true.

All the best smurfchick :hugs:

[Jender]

No real advice just wanted to send you some:hugs:

[Bewitched]

All the best with your decision hun, make sure you have a very supportive friend on hand whatever you decide - to give you lots of cuddles and chocolate :hugs::hugs::hugs:

[Smurfchick]

Oh ladies. Thank you. I am so overwhelmed here. Thanks for your advice and support.

I have a little time still to think about things so I'm going to do just that. And I think I have an option for some counselling too so will check that out.

I guess one of the biggest things that making me lean towards the medical option is that I don't want to ask anyone to come pick me up from the clinic after. And they insist on that, don't they? I really don't want to have to tell anyone who knows me :(

[justme77]

when i iscovered I was pregnant last year, I was going to have a medical termination. ( I didnt go thru with it but ill tell you what I rememebr)

to my knowledge it can be done no later then 9 weeks, and because of this, they requested an ultrasound to confirm dates. (which was very difficult to see), even though I was certain of my dates they still insisted I have an ultrasound to be sure.
the procedure is as you said, and is similar to a miscarriage.

even though I didnt end up going thru with a termintiont his time round, i am certain that ifthere ever is a next time, this is definately the option i would choose.

i had a surgical one years ago, and i foun it to be so tramatic, and so clinical. the medical option felt more normal and natural, and non invasive also.

best of luck with whatever you choose to do.

[susmamma]

Oh ladies. Thank you. I am so overwhelmed here. Thanks for your advice and support.

I have a little time still to think about things so I'm going to do just that. And I think I have an option for some counselling too so will check that out.

I guess one of the biggest things that making me lean towards the medical option is that I don't want to ask anyone to come pick me up from the clinic after. And they insist on that, don't they? I really don't want to have to tell anyone who knows me :(

i dont know your situation smurfy... but honey, either way, it would be good for you to have someone in real life to lean on. can you confide in a close friend? it's not even about having someone to pick you up from the clinic (although, yes you will need someone to pick you up)... but to have someone on the other end of a phone line if you need to have a good cry or to have a hug after it's all happened. i really dont like to think about you going through this on your own. i'm sure you're an amazingly strong independent woman, but we all need some support honey, we all need someone to lean on once in a while. :hugs: please, reconsider not telling anyone, and at the very least pop along and have a chat with someone, it's a big decision, and someone to bounce all the thoughts racing around in your head off, will be a great relief to you, if nothing else.

take care :hugs:

[shelle65]

:hugs: You don't HAVE to have someone pick you up. The clinic won't let you drive home, so if there is no one to pick you up they will arrange a taxi.

But as Susmamma said, if you can find someone to confide in and support you, it will be very helpful. :hugs:

[MyThreeCubs]

You have been given some very good advice. I don't know your situation but I am very sorry for you that you have found yourself with these decisions to make. I do not have any experience with termination and do not think I could have one but I realise that I cannot pass judgement without being in your shoes. I give you my complete unreserved sympathy and hope that you come through this ok.:hugs:

[ml2tope]

I remember when I had my termination I had to wait a few weeks before they would do the procedure (the embryo had to be over 7 or 8 weeks gestation and I found out at about 3 or 4 weeks). It was truly the worst few weeks of my life having to wait to terminate and I suspect in retrospect, that it played some part in the guilt I continued to carry around with me for more years than I care to remember.
Even at that stage (1999) the abortion pill was available in other countries and I recall being frustrated that it wasnt an option in Australia at the time.

I think at this point it is probably viable for you to use either method. I wouldnt think the medical termination would hurt any more than a miscarriage at the same gestation. I know I was in quite a bit of pain and had some rather heavy blood loss for some weeks after the surgical termination.

What I would suggest though is independant councelling prior to the termination. I recognise the clinics themselves offer a service, but honestly, I found it as close to useless as you can get.

Whilst you may recognise this is not the right time for you, that there is no way you can have this baby (as did I), I wish oh wish (retrospectively) that I'd had someone to talk through all the issues I faced at the time. Whilst I suspect I would still have made the same decision, having someone to sit and talk with me about why I was making that decision would have made a huge difference. And a one off, 15 minute session before you walk in for your termination, is no where near enough time, or sessions to help you cope with the loss, the grief and the situation you find yourself in.

Once you have made this decision there is no reversing it. And the enormity of that statement doesnt really sink in until it is too late to change your mind. To know you have talked and talked and talked it out with someone who will listen to you and offer support is unquantifiable in terms of the assistance it will give you later to move on and to heal from this. Admittedly, not all women suffer emotionally from a termination, but most I have known do. I can only think that if we as women, were given some voice to discuss this issue prior to the procedure, without having to hide it and pretend it's not happening, we might find it in ourselves to forgive the decision, or at least to feel satisfied that it was the right course of action for us at the time.


Good luck. :hugs:


I think is some great, reasoned, sensible advice. I think having someone to talk to will be so helpful - either a friend or a counsellor or both. Even if you do go through with the termination, it is so important that you are 100% comfortable with the decision and talking to someone beforehand and clarifying your reasons and discussing your circumstances will really help. It is a huge decision and the finality of it incredibly hard to deal with.

I had a termination six years ago and am still affected by it. I was rushed into it, didn't do it for the right reasons and was giving no counselling.

Please PM me if you want to chat at all.

I am not trying to discourage you just because I have had a terrible experience, it is your decision but please make sure that if you terminate, you are completely comfortable.

Personally, I had a medical termination and it was awful - so clinical and they had heaps of women in and out, it was disgusting. Even though I can't imagine doing it, I would have preferred to miscarry at home so i could at least see or keep my baby (or "products of conception" as they call it.) It is the wondering what they did to my baby and what he looked like, that kills me to this day.

Sorry rambling on about myself, but susmamma did have some fantastic, sound advice.

Take care.

[jen023]

I had a medical abortion at Marie Stopes, and the staff were fantastic.
I recieved counselling, and the process was a lot less emotional than what I thought. Going under sedation was just something I though would be too hard for myself.
I did not have an injection, I had a drink, and then had tablets at home.
The staff called me a few days latter to check how I was.
My bleeding was not too heavy, for the first few hours, felt a bit ucky, but that could have been a number of things.
I then had to go back i think 2 weeks latter to check everythings was ok.
I was told while it does have a lower success rate, than surgical it's still high 88-90%, but its up to you your decision.
Good Luck