How do I deel with a strong willed child without breaking her?

[crazymum83]

I have a 20 month old daughter, she is so good hearted but she gets angry so easy, anything from her shirt not going on the way she wants it to, not getting to play with my phone, etc. I have tried hiding things that start it, but she just finds another thing to get frustrated with.I don't smack her but since she was born I have never given in to her tantrums but she still keeps having them. I try changing the subject, distracting her, turn it into a joke, bribery, I have only raised my voice maybe 3 times with her and each time she cried til she almost choked so i had to comfort her making it pointless, but I'm now past my limit. She doesn't stay still to eat and so I have to wait til she's really really hungryand has been so since she was born, breast feeding was an art, and everyone comments on how small she is. I have to make her hands busy so I can get her in the car seat. She wants to do everything herself. I don't hold it against her because she just wants to be independant, but I'm just having problems keeping my patience and sanity. She is so smart, she has just started counting, knows her colours, can do puzzles, and i've just started potty training, but as soon as the nappy comes off she doesn't want it, she only wants to use the potty, and because she runs I'm scared that she will pee while running and slip. I don't want to take her to a doctor in case they put her on meds, I love who she is, I just wish there was some way to make her slow down. Does anyone else have this problem?:confused::hissy:

[Manxie]

Hi Crazymum

I also have a very very independent Miss now three and can understand where you are comming from.

Can I say that it does get easier once they are able to do more and more things for themselves. Also I was lucky dd had great communication skills which helped lessen her frustration. Is your dd a good talker?

It sounds like she is ready to potty train and I would just bite the bullet (my dd was ready at 18 months). I would buy some of the cheap towelling knickers from the supermarket which will catch most of her wees if running around.

I also found counting a good way to let my dd know what was comming at this age. I used to count everything. e.g. by five I am going to put you in the car seat and then start counting. It used to distract her a bit and let her know what was comming.

As for the eating not sure I have any suggestions other than maybe leaving some snacks out that she can reach, so she can refuel herself rather than having to sit still.

Good luck:hugs: sounds like you have a very clever little girls on your hands:D

[MummyGoingMad]

Wow, to me it doesn't sound like there's anything wrong with her and I don't think a doctor would put her on meds!

It's very normal for a child her age to get frustrated easily. Remember that every child is different. It sounds like your daughter is very strong willed, independent and smart.... these are positive attributes, even though they might test you sometimes. Once she is able to better communicate you'll find she will calm down a lot...

Make sure she gets plenty of stimulation and apart from that, you just need to be patient I think and not give in to her tantrums. Getting her to "help you" all the time might also work wonders. It sounds like she needs to feel like she's in control, so she is a great candidate for the "choice" technique - give her a few options so she can choose herself.

I would give anything for my DD to be like yours in regards to potty training, I say go for it - coming into summer now it will be great and if she WANTS to do it she will be trained in NO TIME!