View Full Version : What do i do..........????? :S
smilewithme
22-08-2008, 18:16
I have been out with guys like that :(!
It is scary and freaks you out a little, if you dont like him now it can be hard to move past that!
I think you should tell him that you have a s*** of a ex and still dealing with that and you are not real keen on how full on he is being! If he is willing to take it easy and give you time than so be it but if he does not stop then say no thank you!
As for wanting to go back to your ex, try not to think about him, think about all the reasons you left and that you will find someone :hugs:!
Sorry i am going on but i could have writen that post a couple of years ago!
I have been out with guys like that :(!
It is scary and freaks you out a little, if you dont like him now it can be hard to move past that!
I think you should tell him that you have a s*** of a ex and still dealing with that and you are not real keen on how full on he is being! If he is willing to take it easy and give you time than so be it but if he does not stop then say no thank you!
As for wanting to go back to your ex, try not to think about him, think about all the reasons you left and that you will find someone :hugs:!
Sorry i am going on but i could have writen that post a couple of years ago!
Why can't i just find someone in the middle! I went from one extreme to the other, guy who treats me like $**t to guy that is WAY to nice.
The thing with telling him im over my ex is we alrady spoke about that & i said to him at the start that i was completely over him, so cant really use that one :rolleyes: hehe
I just feel bad after everything hes done for me, he even drove me to the airport.
Thankyou :) Im just gonna have to try and be as honest as possible although i have kinda tried but he seems to be abit thick!!
smilewithme
22-08-2008, 18:31
Some guys can be very thick :p!
And dont feel about all that he has done, you did not ask him to do it!
And being honest is the best thing to do for sure!
Hope it works out for you!
NewBeginnings
22-08-2008, 18:39
Not to alarm you... and I don't want to scare you... but I freak out when I hear things like this alarm bells go off in my head. My ex was like this... swept me off my feet and was just "amazing". Paid for my plane flights to go see him, and he came and saw me :ecomcity::ecomcity::ecomcity:. Missed me and loved me and we'd only seen each other a couple of times. It turned out he was too good to be true. He abused me and our son in almost every way possible. And it was a classic case right from the start.... come in sweep me off my feet and then bang.
I know it's not the same in all cases. But situations like this always make alarm bells ring in my head. I'd be treading really carefully. :yes: Just in case. But then I am alsoa worry wart... and come from dating a horrible bloke... so treating people so well is like a huge shock and OTT to me iykwim.
But in saying that he could also be a very loving, caring bloke. It's like a catch 22.
What is your heart and head telling you about it? Especially your head. Sometimes it is the best thing to listen to.
MommaBear
22-08-2008, 22:31
its best to be honest with him, maybe tell him hes smothering you and you arent ready for a relationship and just wanna focus on your DD- if you dont wanna see him again.
i know i hate guys like that, that are all hugsy and miss u etc..... the gals supposed to be soppy. Anyways one guy i went on a date with opened the car door for me and i eas so shocked it annoyed me he had done that(i felt so stupid too, like i cant open a door myself).
oh um and why did he book yas a motal room, why not stay at his place??? sounds a bit strange to me.
lovingmotheract
23-08-2008, 13:37
i think he sound creepy to me if you have only seen him what 3 times now and it sound's like he wants to move in. I would tell him your coming on way to fast and i don't even know you and i would say i would love to be pen pals but that's it but wish him luck in fining the right woman.
MommaBear
23-08-2008, 21:56
haha u sound just like me, he did open the car door!! and it annoyed me to lol.... Why though!!?
He's 25 and still lives at home with his family (although he does own his own home but rents it out, which he showed me)
It was easiar for us to stay closer to the city, since we were going out in the city and was closer to the airport so we didnt cop peak hr traffic in the morning..
I said exact same thing to my friends, that its suposed to be the girl chasing the guy and craving the guys attention, i even wrote him an email and said those exact words, but no he still calls and msgs flat out :mad: lol
Ok i thought maybe he could have a family at ome so took you to a motel- woulda been an easy way out for ya though.
As for the door opening thing- i really dont get it, everyone told me its such a nice thing of him to do and very gentlemanly but i felt embarrassed and like i mustnt be able to open my own effing door. but that was one main reaosn things didnt work out- he was like your stalker very hands on and cutesy etc.... i want a man not a gentleman from the 50's.
Ok i thought maybe he could have a family at ome so took you to a motel- woulda been an easy way out for ya though.
As for the door opening thing- i really dont get it, everyone told me its such a nice thing of him to do and very gentlemanly but i felt embarrassed and like i mustnt be able to open my own effing door. but that was one main reaosn things didnt work out- he was like your stalker very hands on and cutesy etc.... i want a man not a gentleman from the 50's.
:laughing:Couldn't of said it better myself, You sound EXACTLY like me!
I want a MAN!! someone with abit more testosterone!
I really don't get it either.
I would tell him your coming on way to fast and i don't even know you.
Im gonna use those exact words.
Ta!
delirium
24-08-2008, 08:50
I agree with lovingmother, just be honest. Tell him he's a great guy, but you really don't know who each other are atm. Let him know he's coming on too strong. There's nothing worse than being really into someone, and they ditch you without an explanation. I went thru this as a late teen with a guy I really liked. He dumped me with the 'it's not you, it's me' routine saying he was too screwed up from a past relationship to date anyone. A week later he was dating someone else and it devastated me, mainly because I didn't know if it was something I had done wrong.
lovingmotheract
24-08-2008, 14:04
good luck with it all Hun. hope he get it now and leaves you alone now.
thankyou:) and 2 every1 who replied
i thought i was being a b&*ch!
smilewithme
25-08-2008, 11:54
I had this guy that on our second date he told my that he had been thinking about our wedding and how great i would look and how many kids we where going to have together!
It took me 3 months to get him to stop calling and stalking me!
It is funny now but i little scary at the time!
I hate it when they sit there and just look at you for ages!
smilewithme
25-08-2008, 12:41
No he was a little slow on the hint part :laughing:
He kept telling me he was a nice guy and i should not treat him this way and i had changed so much :confused:!
JadeyBaby2
26-08-2008, 15:41
Ok - I haven't had the time to read through all the responses - but a lot of alarm bells ring for me (having been through a hell of a lot and had to learn a lot of life lessons).
He hasn't even spent enough time with you and your child to understand what he is taking on - nor you to see what he is like with your child. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. If I meet a guy and date him and eventually he meets DS (VERY rare make it that far) and can't hack it then :wave: bye bye - C U L8TA! He does sound full on too soon and it would concern me absolutely!
If you don't mind my asking - how old are you?
I had DS at 21 and felt very much the way you described as in partying etc.....my whole pregnancy and until DS was about 1 and a half I really felt like I was missing out on a whole lot!
Trust me, it passes and you soon turn to just being the best parent you can be and working on showing your child/ren what a loving family life is like. This pg was unplanned and I was feeling like I was finally getting everything on track career, money, friends, social life, great life for DS etc with DS being his age and becoming a bit less dependant on me. Now, I'm SO into being a Mum - all my focus is on that - perhaps that is the wake up I needed. You can be a parent and have your fun and YOUR own life built aside from your parent life. Just takes some time and focus and eventually a nice balance is developed.:yes:
But, all in all, please take your time with relationships and don't let someone come into your life and overwhelm you into doing things you otherwise wouldn't want to. When you have a child they just need to accept that you're not going to jump gung hoe into things.
SassyMummy
26-08-2008, 21:08
I think some people might just be a bit full-on like that... I imagine you'd likely find a number of guys out there whinging about women that smother them in a similar way...
I dunno, I was treated kinda...badly... by my ex. I didn't realise just how badly until recently... now that I have a new boyfriend who treats me so well. I seem really shocked when he's nice to me. Just hte other day his car broke down. He was in his garage fiddling with it, and when he came in, after having not fixed a thing and actually broken something else in anger, I was very quiet and scared he'd yell at me because of his foul mood. That's what the ex would have done.
But he didn't. He was nice and loving and the way he was every other moment of the day...
If you're not interested, tell him. Let him cancel his flights while he can. I'm sure he'd rather find out you're not interested sooner rather than later.
Or, if you wanna be a wuss (I probably would...lol), just make up some stupid reason why you can't be with him (back with your ex? met someone else? something lame like that), and leave it there. :p
It can be a real culture shock going from a guy that treats you like cr%p to a guy that treats you like a princess, or besides that, you realise what "normal" is!!
JadeyBaby2
27-08-2008, 14:49
Hi Jade, Yeah sometimes it gets me down when my friends are out having fun doing whatever and im stuck at home on a Sat night by myself.
I guess sometimes i feel like Im missing out. This may sound bad but i would still never change having Lilliana.
I was with FOB for two years and half that time was spent being a housewife-so to speak and then another half pregnant! So its just like now i am single and no partner i just wanna have some fun!!, but obviously that can be a little hard. btw im 21, you can tell im youngish by my post eh!
LOL - I hope you didn't take offence, it just brought back memories of my feeling that way when younger - I can tell you a little time changes the way you feel. I decided to distract myself with things I could do for myself - so I did a Tafe course in Criminal Justice Studies (two nights per week with my mother's help) and then started a degree in Criminology and Criminal Justice - tried for 3mths before I finally got a part time office job - by that stage DS was 2 and a half. I work full time now, have made new friends who also have children and I have more in common with (though I still keep in touch with those that don't from the past). Though I've landed myself in a bit of a predicament at the moment - because I made the time to get myself and my life together (not saying you or anyone else doesn't, but I certainly wasn't moving in the direction before that I should have been) I'm in a good position to manage fine.
Sorry - off on a tangent :ecomcity::ecomcity::ecomcity:
Take care of yourself and chin up - things get much much better :yes: Just be careful with those MEN!!!!!!!
:hugs:
LOL - I hope you didn't take offence, it just brought back memories of my feeling that way when younger - I can tell you a little time changes the way you feel. I decided to distract myself with things I could do for myself - so I did a Tafe course in Criminal Justice Studies (two nights per week with my mother's help) and then started a degree in Criminology and Criminal Justice - tried for 3mths before I finally got a part time office job - by that stage DS was 2 and a half. I work full time now, have made new friends who also have children and I have more in common with (though I still keep in touch with those that don't from the past). Though I've landed myself in a bit of a predicament at the moment - because I made the time to get myself and my life together (not saying you or anyone else doesn't, but I certainly wasn't moving in the direction before that I should have been) I'm in a good position to manage fine.
Sorry - off on a tangent :ecomcity::ecomcity::ecomcity:
Take care of yourself and chin up - things get much much better Just be careful with those MEN!!!!!!!
:hugs:
yep sure will watch those boys :thumbsup:haha... and i agree despite all this its definitely put me on better path. Thankyou:)
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