View Full Version : I need a holiday...
And yes its just wishful thinking.
I just feel like i need a break. Not just a night here or there, a few days at a time. I need to refresh and it just isnt happening. Last weekend Bug went to my sisters on the friday night, but i was up all night painting walls and then she came home at 8.30am so no break there.
On monday her father took her out for 3 hours, but i was stuck at home cleaning for a rent inspection.
On tuesday her father got me to go on the visit with them both to the local park, great but i really just wanted some ME time.
Sorry im just having a whinge, i know i have it good compared to some of you other ladies. Im just tired, im sick of fighting depression most of my life and then being a single parent without a break on top of it. How can i recover from one when i cant get the break i need to help me do it?
2 more years until she can go to her dad for more than just an overnight visit. 2 years and counting. Im sorry but i cant wait. I would really love to just spend a week refreshing on a holiday somewhere in the country, just relaxing and rediscovering myself as a person.
That is tough, i don't know how you guys do it. I have decided once DS2 is weaned i'm going on a holiday with no DH, no kids and just getting away for a while, mum has already said she'll take the kids and hubby so i don't have to think about them for a while.
:hugs::hugs::hugs:
Is there anyone else who can help you out?
I know exactly what you mean.. once they are finally gone for any short amount of time, we single mums have to catch up on what has been previously left behind.
SweetSerenity
18-08-2008, 22:02
Aww De-A you poor thing. Depression is such an awful thing on it's own let alone having it with everything else you have to deal with. It's a real shame you can't get more 'you' time. Is there anyway bugs dad could have her a full night and day? So you can go somewhere to relax and switch off? Sending you big hugs :hugs: love nat xoxo
Unfortunately not ladies. With bug being so full on no one can really handle having her for more than a few hours :( hence the countdown until she is old enough to stay with her father for school holidays. And he cant have her as he lives 600km or so away so its only when he can pop down for a night here and there.
I love my daughter, i love our life, its just very tiring and somewhere in amongst it all i have lost myself.
Unfortunately not ladies. With bug being so full on no one can really handle having her for more than a few hours :( hence the countdown until she is old enough to stay with her father for school holidays. And he cant have her as he lives 600km or so away so its only when he can pop down for a night here and there.
I love my daughter, i love our life, its just very tiring and somewhere in amongst it all i have lost myself.
:( I'm so sorry to hear that. 2 years is too long to wait for some time out.
You say he pops in for a night here and there, what if he was to put her to bed etc so you can go out at night occasionally? I'm probably asking silly questions as I have similar problems with my X - he won't take him overnight either and he lives 10 minutes away!!
ooooh ooooh oooooh
come down here for a visit, free accomodation ;) a 4 year old to entertain Bug :D a DH to entertain the kids while we rest and relax then party:yes:
anyways :hugs: chick, I hope you do manage to get a holiday soon, must be so tiring doing it all on ya own:hugs:
:( I'm so sorry to hear that. 2 years is too long to wait for some time out.
You say he pops in for a night here and there, what if he was to put her to bed etc so you can go out at night occasionally? I'm probably asking silly questions as I have similar problems with my X - he won't take him overnight either and he lives 10 minutes away!!
Now this is where i get arked up. Because his last two trips down here to see her coincided with 8ball comps and ive repeatedly warned him to stop taking her for 4-5 hours and then dropping her off so he can **** off for a comp at night. When he came down last week we saw him on monday and tuesday, what he failed to tell me was he arrived in perth the thursday BEFORE we saw him and spent all weekend playing pool with his mate instead of coming to see his daughter:hissy::banghead:
ooooh ooooh oooooh
come down here for a visit, free accomodation ;) a 4 year old to entertain Bug :D a DH to entertain the kids while we rest and relax then party:yes:
anyways :hugs: chick, I hope you do manage to get a holiday soon, must be so tiring doing it all on ya own:hugs:
Aahhh hun i can only dream:crying: Id love to be able to just do that. Couldnt you move to perth instead though?
cmd'smum
18-08-2008, 22:13
Oh De :hugs: You know, reading that last sentence of yours struck a cord with me, I so feel like I've lost myself too alot these days! I know I need to do something for "me", like get a part time job, a hobby or something! Have you ever thought about that? Do you think working part time might help? :confused:
I so need a holiday too, lets get a bunch of us together and go to Margaret River for a few days? :laughing: in my dreams :rolleyes:
Oops just realised this is in the single parents section, sorry!:o
Now this is where i get arked up. Because his last two trips down here to see her coincided with 8ball comps and ive repeatedly warned him to stop taking her for 4-5 hours and then dropping her off so he can **** off for a comp at night. When he came down last week we saw him on monday and tuesday, what he failed to tell me was he arrived in perth the thursday BEFORE we saw him and spent all weekend playing pool with his mate instead of coming to see his daughter:hissy::banghead:
:( What is it with these people :hair: lucky we are on the ball or there would be no one to look after these poor kids!!!
Aahhh hun i can only dream:crying: Id love to be able to just do that. Couldnt you move to perth instead though?
might go buy me a lotto ticket this week ay, and see what we can do :yes::D
Oh De-A that sucks. I know what you mean though i totally love DD to bits but would love more time off than the 4hourly stretches her dad takes her for. He won't even take her overnight till she is at school which seeing as she just turned one is a long way off!
That sux that he spend all that time in town without telling you, he could have spend some really good quality time with Bug who is a hell of a lot more important than a stupid pool comp!
Ashleigh<3
18-08-2008, 22:16
:hugs: Seriously, do it.
Five months ago, I took a holiday, I went away to Melbourne for five days and it was very muchly appreciated and enjoyed.
I was going through a really rough time, I was afraid to confide in my friends and one of my favorite bands from New York were going to be there during that time and I said to myself I says, 'I'm going'.
I told my ex about it and planned it a few weeks before I left, he was fine with it and knew I needed to get away.
My family were very nonsupporting of it because they couldn't understand why I was 'running' away for a holiday.
Apparently the Mother is never allowed to have her 'me' time.
Well Pffttt, to them. They were totally unaware of the situation I was in. All that really mattered was I had to have my time. And I did and it was wonderful. :)
Do you have any family who would be willing to watch your daughter for a few days?
Oh De :hugs: You know, reading that last sentence of yours struck a cord with me, I so feel like I've lost myself too alot these days! I know I need to do something for "me", like get a part time job, a hobby or something! Have you ever thought about that? Do you think working part time might help? :confused:
I so need a holiday too, lets get a bunch of us together and go to Margaret River for a few days? :laughing: in my dreams :rolleyes:
Oops just realised this is in the single parents section, sorry!:o
Hmm ok will book us a room now. no kids, just wine tasting, and chocolate for a weekend:D And you my friend, are free to post in any of my threads. Cuppa sometime??
:hugs: Seriously, do it.
Five months ago, I took a holiday, I went away to Melbourne for five days and it was very muchly appreciated and enjoyed.
I was going through a really rough time, I was afraid to confide in my friends and one of my favorite bands from New York were going to be there during that time and I said to myself I says, 'I'm going'.
I told my ex about it and planned it a few weeks before I left, he was fine with it and knew I needed to get away.
My family were very nonsupporting of it because they couldn't understand why I was 'running' away for a holiday.
Apparently the Mother is never allowed to have her 'me' time.
Well Pffttt, to them. They were totally unaware of the situation I was in. All that really mattered was I had to have my time. And I did and it was wonderful. :)
Do you have any family who would be willing to watch your daughter for a few days?
Im currently saving for a holiday to melbourne in april to celebrate my 30th next year. Does that count? Although i will be taking bug with me for that because i think she will enjoy the experience.
Oh and hun, your unsupporting family suck!!! You deserve a break just as anyone else does.
:hugs: Seriously, do it.
Five months ago, I took a holiday, I went away to Melbourne for five days and it was very muchly appreciated and enjoyed.
I was going through a really rough time, I was afraid to confide in my friends and one of my favorite bands from New York were going to be there during that time and I said to myself I says, 'I'm going'.
I told my ex about it and planned it a few weeks before I left, he was fine with it and knew I needed to get away.
My family were very nonsupporting of it because they couldn't understand why I was 'running' away for a holiday.
Apparently the Mother is never allowed to have her 'me' time.
Well Pffttt, to them. They were totally unaware of the situation I was in. All that really mattered was I had to have my time. And I did and it was wonderful. :)
Do you have any family who would be willing to watch your daughter for a few days?
Ash you rock :yelclap: i wish i was brave enough to do that.
Come up to sunny Townsville and i can help u :D
Ashleigh<3
18-08-2008, 22:25
It did take a lot of bravery, I was scared of leaving my daughter with her Dad even though he is a fantastic Dad who is always there for her, I was afraid of something bad happening while I was gone, anxiety + typical Mothering attitude.
I also knew that if I didn't take the holiday, I probably would of had a nervous break down. I needed the time to recuperate regardless of people misunderstanding me.
Regardless of my family being un-supportive of so many of my lifestyle choices, I have no remorse for my actions. I've always proved them wrong.
Support does wonders, but I think I have learnt how to support myself.
cmd'smum
18-08-2008, 22:29
Hmm ok will book us a room now. no kids, just wine tasting, and chocolate for a weekend:D And you my friend, are free to post in any of my threads. Cuppa sometime??
aaaaww thanks! :D
Would LOVE a cuppa, let me know what day and time are good for you! We can meet at galleria or my place, or whatever!
xo.
sunnyflower
18-08-2008, 22:32
Have u thought about putting her in to a good quality day care one day a week just so you can have some me time?
Ashleigh<3
18-08-2008, 22:32
Im currently saving for a holiday to melbourne in april to celebrate my 30th next year. Does that count? Although i will be taking bug with me for that because i think she will enjoy the experience.
Oh and hun, your unsupporting family suck!!! You deserve a break just as anyone else does.
That is brilliant! Even just visiting a different scene will do you and Bug a world of good. :thumbsup:
Have u thought about putting her in to a good quality day care one day a week just so you can have some me time?
Unfortunately all the good ones around here have filled up after another local one closed so only the dodgy ones have room left.....sooo not happening. And because i dont drive i cant head to another area to try to find her a place.
5.5 months til kindy starts, 5.5 months til kindy starts hehe.
Ash - yeah thats what im hoping. Just the change of scenery. We have no plans yet as to what we are doing except staying with mum and sis in a caravan park so Bug has room to run. The plan is just to sightsee and chill. Im the only one in my family who has never left the state and although the ex DID offer to have her for a few days, he couldnt have her for the whole trip so i decided i would rather she have the experience as well since it will be our last for a long time due to finances.
Ashleigh<3
18-08-2008, 22:38
You should hit the Bubhub Melbourne ladies up for a night out. :) Would your Mother mind Bug for one of the nights? I'm sure you'd have a blast.
:)
oh thats a bummer all the daycare spots are taken
i'll send lots of really quick 5.5mths your way lol
do you have any friends with kids that would take Bug for ya for a day? just so you can chill for a bit?
sunnyflower
18-08-2008, 22:42
Salisbury day care in Bedford is a really good one,i had my son there and i highly reccommend it.It is just off Beaufort st,you could get there by bus?
Umm except for KayteO im not even sure who ARE melbourne mummies. But yeah if i wanted to they would have her while i went out over there.
Aah Giz, you know most of my friends IRL are also on here, you talk to them too so you know how busy they are. I dont like to ask them. Feels like an intrusion.
Sunnyflower, im out in beechboro so it would still take about 30 min on buses to get her there, so thats an hour of travelling before i could be home on my own, and then have to go back out to get her again. Pity i didnt still live in morley or bayswater, wouldve been alot easier.
Ashleigh<3
18-08-2008, 22:51
I am sure Chelle would LOVE to hang out with you. :) (And I'm sure a lot of other Melbourne Mummies would too).
Aah Giz, you know most of my friends IRL are also on here, you talk to them too so you know how busy they are. I dont like to ask them. Feels like an intrusion.
yeah everyone is busy these days, and i'm so with ya on feeling like intruding etc, i'm exactly the same, asking for help is probably one of the last things I would do, but sometimes we've got to ask for some help, we're not superwoman unfortunatly, and we all need a hand, they will understand, and maybe you could pay them back the same way
I got told off by a BH'er the other day, for not asking for help when DD was in hosp the other week, still can't bring myself to do it though
I am sure Chelle would LOVE to hang out with you. :) (And I'm sure a lot of other Melbourne Mummies would too).
Hmm might have to go make me some new friends:D
Oh and hanging out with Chelle would be a blast i reckon
I got told off by a BH'er the other day, for not asking for help when DD was in hosp the other week, still can't bring myself to do it though
Chicky had i been there i wouldve turned up on your doorstep and kicked your butt for not asking:hugs::D
sockstealingpoltergeist
18-08-2008, 23:00
I can understand this, being a single mum is such a hard job. You deserve a holiday, in fact all the single mums do.
:hugs: I hope you are feeling better soon.
cmd'smum
18-08-2008, 23:01
oh thats a bummer all the daycare spots are taken
i'll send lots of really quick 5.5mths your way lol
do you have any friends with kids that would take Bug for ya for a day? just so you can chill for a bit?
yep me! She knows I'd love to have bug over, her and chloe would entertain eachother which means Chloe would keep out of my hair:yes:
De even if I am busy, doesn't matter, because at the end of the day I get a break when dh gets home:yes:
yep me! She knows I'd love to have bug over, her and chloe would entertain eachother which means Chloe would keep out of my hair:yes:
De even if I am busy, doesn't matter, because at the end of the day I get a break when dh gets home:yes:
Linda what the heck would I do without you?? Im free wednesday all day or friday arvo, when is this cuppa??:D
Ashleigh<3
18-08-2008, 23:03
Hmm might have to go make me some new friends:D
Oh and hanging out with Chelle would be a blast i reckon
Bug and Ruby would so hit it off! :D
They'd talk each others ears off. :bee:
Chicky had i been there i wouldve turned up on your doorstep and kicked your butt for not asking:hugs::D
conciderd my butt kicked a second time :laughing:
yep me! She knows I'd love to have bug over, her and chloe would entertain eachother which means Chloe would keep out of my hair:yes:
De even if I am busy, doesn't matter, because at the end of the day I get a break when dh gets home:yes:
awww i'm feeling the love cmd :yes: see D, there are wonderfull people around
if I wasn't miles and miles away from ya, I would be over in a second, if only I had the money ay
cmd'smum
18-08-2008, 23:08
Linda what the heck would I do without you?? Im free wednesday all day or friday arvo, when is this cuppa??:D
Friday arvo is good with me!! Wanna come over here? Or should we go to maccas and let the girls have a play in their playground? The one near my place have refurbished their playground. PM me which you would prefer!:yelclap::D
WorkingClassMum
18-08-2008, 23:16
Im currently saving for a holiday to melbourne in april to celebrate my 30th next year.
.
And when you do come - I will happily wrangle Bug for 4-5 or how-ever many hours while you do get some *Ahemm* "adult - me" time! I reckon I'm a dab hand at girl-wrangling by now:D.
What area is the CVpark?
And when you do come - I will happily wrangle Bug for 4-5 or how-ever many hours while you do get some *Ahemm* "adult - me" time! I reckon I'm a dab hand at girl-wrangling by now:D.
What area is the CVpark?
Ummmm yeah gotta find the printout again now
BRB in 5 hahaha
umm ok where the heck is the Melbourne Big 4 holiday park in coburg :laughing:
Grizabella
18-08-2008, 23:50
*cough*icanwacthbug*cough*
I know you won't ask cos of Brion's autism and he's a handfull too blahblahblah :p but I will and can look after the little miss for ya :D Always more then willing.
Or you can come and chill here with me when you get stressed - we can tag team chasing the kids. The play area out back will be done in a few weeks too. Will have to get Bug round here to roadtest it for durability with Brion. I am sure between them they can work out any kinks!!
Grizabella
18-08-2008, 23:51
Or we could always dump the kids on Stu and hit the pub!! :laughing:
WorkingClassMum
19-08-2008, 00:05
Ummmm yeah gotta find the printout again now
BRB in 5 hahaha
umm ok where the heck is the Melbourne Big 4 holiday park in coburg :laughing:
Elizabeth Street, Coburg?
about 1/2 by tram to Melbourne, and about 40 minutes from me by car!
I think Chellegoth is out that way:yes:
*cough*icanwacthbug*cough*
I know you won't ask cos of Brion's autism and he's a handfull too blahblahblah :p but I will and can look after the little miss for ya :D Always more then willing.
Or you can come and chill here with me when you get stressed - we can tag team chasing the kids. The play area out back will be done in a few weeks too. Will have to get Bug round here to roadtest it for durability with Brion. I am sure between them they can work out any kinks!!
Yeah havent wanted to annoy you or ask hun between the stuff you are sorting out with Brion and all those double shifts you have been doing.
Or we could always dump the kids on Stu and hit the pub!! :laughing:
Hehe.
Elizabeth Street, Coburg?
about 1/2 by tram to Melbourne, and about 40 minutes from me by car!
I think Chellegoth is out that way:yes:
Thats probably the one kayte. although am willing to travel anywhere to meet a few people. Im not one who cares about 2 hours on public transport when im on such a big trip if it means i can meet a few people.
WorkingClassMum
19-08-2008, 00:54
Sheesh
1/2 hour by tram to Melbourne, not 1 - 2 hours I'm a *idiot* - its late - I'm tired and I'm prone to typo's:geek::o
Sheesh
1/2 hour by tram to Melbourne, not 1 - 2 hours I'm a *idiot* - its late - I'm tired and I'm prone to typo's:geek::o
It wasnt until you pointed this out that i noticed it, i actually read it as half hour lol. I was just pointing out that i can travel 2 hours around perth quite happily.
♥My Innocent Angel♥
19-08-2008, 14:53
ooooh ooooh oooooh
come down here for a visit, free accomodation ;) a 4 year old to entertain Bug, a DH to entertain the kids while we rest and relax then party:yes:
anyways :hugs: chick, I hope you do manage to get a holiday soon, must be so tiring doing it all on ya own
I second that and we could all go party together
:idea:or better yet you could move here and we could help each other out :smiliedance:
I second that and we could all go party together
:idea:or better yet you could move here and we could help each other out :smiliedance:
Unfortunately for us all the ex has already said no to this suggestion after Gretel and i discussed it. He wont let me leave the state with Bug unless its for a holiday.
♥My Innocent Angel♥
24-08-2008, 01:57
Unfortunately for us all the ex has already said no to this suggestion after Gretel and i discussed it. He wont let me leave the state with Bug unless its for a holiday.
GRRR We know people hey Giz :detective:
well we will just have to win lotto and bribe him :devil6:
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