Becoming a mum and stepmum

[18and36]

Hey,

Im 18 and my partner is 30 (even though my name says 18and36 it isnt related to our ages!). He had his first child when he was 18, so his eldest son is 12 and his youngest 5. He only have the two boys.

I get along great with the kids and i think its since im still a kid at heart. Both the boys love me and we have a lot of fun together, they are even putting a 'circus' on for me and the other half!

Im only 6 years older than the eldest but I feel alot older. Now, we have been having unprotected sex the past couple of days, during my ovulation time- not intentionally, if we fall pregnant its not a big deal as he already has 2 boys and can support us all.

Im wondering what the chances are of me actually having concieved. I would also like to know what its like from other young people who have become a step mum role.

Their real mum is in the picture, however she never turns up to take the boys and goes out clubbing all the time, she also has an abusive new boyfriend who when his sons come to his house constantly complain. The boys tell of being locked in cupboards and their heads being shoved underwater as well as being hit. He is now going for full custody.

So really I want to know if anyone else has been through this sitaution and any support or someone to talk to would be great!

Cheers

[NibbleCurlynBub]

Will PM you. :yes:

[Ashleigh<3]

I would just be asking myself, "Am I, ready for children".

The situation your in is actually the perfect way to pick up some parenting skills. :)
You could try and see what being a potential 'step parent' & 'parent' feels like, there are bound to be highs and lows, you learn how to cope.
It's a great way to prepare for parenthood. Or, scare you into parenthood.

:laughing:

Good luck.

[punkbaby]

I agree with ashleigh :) but just a thought as well, seeing they are old enough and you have a good relationship with them you probably should tell them you are thinking of having a baby, dont leave them in the dark. I am sure they will be fine with it but its best to get it all out now, before the baby comes :) plus at least they feel they are included too and there is no jelousy, i imagine there wont be but its best to at least chat to them about it first

good luck

[Ashleigh<3]

The kids actually sound like there at that age where they'd be excited about having a new brother or sister. But, it's not something one can predict. Kids react differently to the whole step-Mum-having a baby deal.

[18and36]

I am worried about having a baby however, I dont want them to feel like they werent good enough so I decided to have my own child. Im also scared of treating me biological child differently. I dont want to be biased etc, but im afraid I might becomign like that.

These kids are great, I love the boys, they are adorable we call them the three 'bachalors'. Since I havnt moved in with the other half yet, the three live a male life! Take away, sleeping in the lounge room while watching DVD's etc.

When I come over the boys love it, its time for real cooked dinners (he does help!) and a nice sit down dinner. But we also sometimes snuggle up on the couch and watch DVD's together!

Im not moving in until they move house. Since they are currently renting and just bought a place, so I decided instead of moving in for a month and then moving again, id just hold off!

We still have 'sleep overs' and the boys sometimes jump in bed with us. They dont mind us in the same room. I think Im more worried about it then they are!

The young one walked in on us while we were naked in bed.....i was so embarassed until he said 'get dressed silly'. He was not fazed by it.....we were under the covers.....

I think im more nervous about the whole situation than anyone else. Its scarey! Three boys (yes im including the other half as a boy- he does act like one sometimes)....Im from a mainly female family- so its going to be a change....

Any tiips would be appreciated!

[SmileyBJ]

I think its wonderful that you've found someone you are happy with, and that the boys love you also. Only thing i'd suggest is probably living together before you start thinking about ttc.

Totally up to you, as nobody knows the situation better than yourself. Good luck with everything and hope it all works out well :).

[girly]

[quote=18and36;2956606]I am worried about having a baby however, I dont want them to feel like they werent good enough so I decided to have my own child. Im also scared of treating me biological child differently. I dont want to be biased etc, but im afraid I might becomign like that.quote]

I think you wud have this problem more with little girls than little boys, By the way things are sounding i think a little bub wud bring the brightness over darkness, Like let the kids take their mind off things and bond with their little baby brother or sister. :thumbsup:

[threechooks]

I was 18 when I met my now Husband he had a 2 year old daughter,when i met him who is now 11. We have been through ups and downs with his difficult ex, custody battles etc. I would say "Run, run away as fast as you can!!!!" I'm not joking either. It is one thing to get along well but to be a full time parent is another thing all together. In the end you will do what your heart says, I did despite what everyone told me when I was 18. I would say live with your partner for two years first and then decide if you still want to have a baby with him.