My cry for help....

[Kayangel]

My 4mth old little boy is going to be the death of me, i love him to death dont get me wrong but i dont no wat to do with him anymore, he is so unsettled all day, he crys and crys and screams and screams, there are no good days and i cant get him to sleep, it doesnt matter if i formula feed him or breastfed him. I feel like a terrible mother, is it me causing the problems?

Are there any places i can go to for help.

I am so upset, unhappy, drained and dunno if i can cope with this everyday.

[EmsMum72]

Hi Kayla,

I just wanted to give you some of these :hugs: it must be so hard for you at the moment. Babies pick up on what you are feeling, so if you're stressed then Jaylen will pick up on it. In saying that, you can't just switch off YOUR feelings but my MIL was telling me the other day that my DH was a little ratbag when he was a baby, hardly ever slept and then one day she just decided to stop worrying about it, go about her business, get tiny amounts of sleep when she could and 3 days later (after she made a conscious effort to stop stressing about the fact that DH wouldn't sleep) he started to sleep :rolleyes:.

I'm sorry, but don't really know what else to suggest. I'm guessing you've tried a pouch, driving around until he goes to sleep, taking him for a walk and letting him sleep in a pram (doesn't give you any rest I know) and laying down to have a nap with him. Perhaps he's hungry and you could try giving him some farax??

Goodluck, hope you sort it out!

[M&Ms]

My DD was also like this and i found out at about 4 months of age she had silent reflux. Could this be the case? Take him to a good GP and which is what i did and she was prescribed Zantac and helped a great deal... it did get a lot easier at about 6 months old, she was like a different baby... Might not be but worth checking out? :)

[onemummmy]

:hugs: babies pick up on your feelings so if youre stressed he will be noticing that which may upset him, but no, its not you causing him to be unsettled. How long has he been like this for? Do you think maybe he needs to be in a routine now? There are sleep schools and breastfeeding support groups, and maybe even your GP, just to check he is not unwell. It could be teething? Have you tried a nice warm bath(him and you) to calm him down? What about a sling so he can be close to you or a swing if he like to be rocked/moved? You could always try popping him in the pram and rolling it over a coathanger or rolled up towel or something to make a bump(sounds weird but it works) Does he settle in the car? sorry lots of stuff but Im trying to think of everything you could do to try to settle him.

[onemummmy]

sorry but I think suggesting giving solids to a 4 month old without medical advice is a bad idea.

[delirium]

:hugs: My DS was, and to an extent, still is like this. He had silent reflux until he was about 6 months old and until about 5 months old he screamed 12 hours a day. I almost had a full on mental breakdown. :gloomy: When a child screams all day, it's for a reason. Wind, teeth or reflux could be good possibilities. Have you seen a GP about a referral to a paediatrian? They may be able to assess what is happening. Hang in there, you are certainly not a bad mum, just a stressed one. :hugs:

[lucyrose9]

do you wrap him when he goes down for a sleep?

[*Cj*]

in bubs health book that you got when bubs was born there should be some help line number's. Give them a call, they can let you know where you can get help from. What state are you in??? if you let me know I'll try and fine if there a sleep school near you.

Hugs you have done the right thing asking for help. xxxxxx

[TraceyM]

My DD was also like this and i found out at about 4 months of age she had silent reflux. Could this be the case? Take him to a good GP and which is what i did and she was prescribed Zantac and helped a great deal... it did get a lot easier at about 6 months old, she was like a different baby... Might not be but worth checking out? :)

Same for me ... we switched to thickened formula and DS was considerably more settled in about three days. It's taken a little while to get him out of the bad habits we got him into ... being nursed and rocked and catnapping in the bouncer but he's now napping pretty well during the day.

We also found he naps much better in a very darkened room where there is very little for him to see and be distracted by.

Hope that helps ... it's hard work if you don't get any downtime during the day. Good luck and :hugs: to you.

[Kayangel]

Im in cranbourne, melbourne.

Bubs has been checked by many doctors and a paed.

He wont sleep in the car or pram, i wrap him, give a dummy.

[Milliner]

The first thing I would try is a sleep school. Call the QEC and speak to someone. They will help you sort a routine out.

It sounds like he needs a good routine, he is probably overtired. Many people mistake tired for hunger. I wouldn't be starting a 4 month old on solids. You have done a great job breastfeeding so far so I wouldn't give that up either. Call the QEC today, now! Crying on the phone to them gets you a long way, trust me.

PM me if you want the number. Or there is a hospital in Koo Wee Rup that has a sleep school but I haven't got their number handy but I'm sure I could find it.

[*Cj*]

I think you might be in Vic

Try to give the numbers below a call

O’Connell Family Centre (http://raisingchildren.net.au/link.aspx?id=1888)
(click on Hospitals & Community Facilities)

(03) 8416 7600
Queen Elizabeth Centre(03) 9549 2777
Tweddle Child and Family Services(03) 9689 1577


have a look at this link for some good info http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/getting_help_from_parenting_centres.html/context/615

[cassi*girl]

I had this with DS & took him to a chiropractor & he slept for 4 hours straight after that. He then fed better, slept like a baby should & rarely cried.
It was the best thing I EVER did.
My DS is 5 now & we still go.

Brayden Keil is the guy I swear by. (Children's chiropractic services I think it is called)

Good luck I hope you get some answers & rest from the noise soon.

Sandi :)

[Cordelia]

Some babies just have that kind of character. DD was terrible - all the other babies were quiet and relaxed and content - mine was always crying, fussing, arching her back. The good news is that at around 8 months she changed and is the most happiest baby around. She is so creative and independant and caring and lovely. So firstly just remember that there is an end to all this - this isn't permanent. It will be all over soon and you will be abel to sit back and enjoy motherhood.

Secondly, do you have family and friends who can support you? I know it's easy to be independant and try and do things on your own but ask for help if you need it. You need time-out and time to sleep and you need good meals. It will help you be a more relaxed and confident Mum.

Good luck :hugs:

[TKK]

:hugs::hugs:

Month four was absolutely hellish for me. I don't think I've ever cried so much in my life. There was nothing wrong with my DD - you've seen her pictures, she's the perfect little healthy girl. We just nicknamed her "Little Miss No Sleep" there for a while.

Its great you've had J checked out to make sure its nothing medical. I had a chat to a GP about that time too and it was AWESOME to just have someone to get all this off my chest to.

I think month four is like a 30 day "witching hour" as they get over the newborn sleeping all the time and start getting used to their limbs and their lungs and all this external stimuli. It must be so overwhelming to be four months old!!

Hold on in there K I promise you it will get easier. From the little we've chatted I know you are a really caring and compassionate mother. Please don't doubt yourself - your confidence is the one thing you have control of when you have this little unpredictable and seemingly uncontrollable tyke in front of you. Don't undermine your own confidence.

[growingbelly]

:hugs::hugs:
Lots of hugs for you.

I dont have any suggestions on what to do but there are plenty of places you can go for help. I am not sure where you live but have a look at this section of bubhub http://www.bubhub.com.au/servicesparentinghelplines.php

I am 100% sure it is nothing you are doing wrong, babies will cry no matter how wonderful there mum is and I am sure you are a wonderful mum :)

If i were in your situation i would get him checked out by a GP so you know there is no medical problem to explain it, and then I would go to one of the help centres. I would also tell the people arround me that I am struggling so they could help out and also so they are aware that you are a bit fragile at the moment and they can keep an eye on you and your mental health.

also like everyone has said, try not to stress, i know that is probably impossible and annoying to hear but if you can try to relax it might help, (or if you are anything like me you will get more stressed out cause you are stressing about not stressing IYKWIM lol)

I hope you are able to find some one or something that helps. But please remember you are not alone, you have bubhub, help lines, your child health nurse, your family and friends etc to turn to.

Remember- you are a fantastic mum, I have not meet you but I know you are from your posts. You care so much about your son, you obviously love him and are giving him and are giving him amazing care:yelclap:

[Kayangel]

Milliner- Wats QEC?? and i would love the number, can u please please pm it.

I am very close to koo wee rup if u could find that number.

cj- Thanks for the numbers.

[Kayangel]

Are sleep centres any good?

[neostudded]

Firstly :hugs: A lot of thing happen at four months which make make babies unsettled.

It is possible he has started teething, teething can take months.

Also, he is at an age where he gets distracted more. Continue to feed him in a quite dimmed room with little distractions, lay down and feed him if your not doing that already.

When he is feeding, can you hear swallowing? Does your breast get softer? if so he is getting milk, his nappies are another indicator as well.

Have you tried some white noise? (a vacuum cleaner turned on) I used a vacuum cleaner to settle my son and it worked 70% of the time., it might help to settle him. You can also buy a CD called "sounds of silence", it might help to settle Jaylen.:hugs:

[Milliner]

I have pm'd you

ETA the QEC is in Noble park so that's not too far from you either.

[delirium]

I had DS booked into the QEII sleep clinic in Canberra, but his sleep issues resolved themselves by the time we were due to go in. The waiting list is about 8 weeks atm. You stay 4 days where they monitor what is going on. Let me hunt down the site for you.

[RHJ]

:hugs: You have been given some wonderful advice already, and some places to contact so just wanted to say :hugs: and well done for asking for help instead of suffering in silence!:yelclap::hugs:

[delirium]

http://www.cmsinc.org.au/index.cfm?p=1460

Oh and you need to be referred by a MCN or GP. Usually they will require you to attend a day stay clinic to see if it works, if that doesn't (it didn't for us), then the MHN will refer to QEII

[neostudded]

Do you have anyone who can go over your house and help out with house work/cook meals/settle Jaylen for you? I think you could really use a helping hand right now.:hugs:

[julietv8]

Is there a community health clinic nearby? A lot of places do sleep clinics for unsettled babies but they have a cutoff of 6 months usually. My biggest tip for you is to watch for his tired signs, he should be up for 1.5-2hours, then down to sleep again, you have about a 5 minute window from when he shows tired signs before he will be overtired, miserable and impossible to get to sleep. Its tough going. :hugs::hugs:

Try having a feel around in his mouth for teeth, DS got 2 teeth at 4.5 months and he was a horrible sleeper while he was teething, you could try a bit of bonjela and some panadol and see if he settles. If you need to, pop him down somewhere safe, and go take a few deep breaths or have a soothing shower for a couple of minutes, it wont kill him, and you will be a better mum when you get back. They feed off your stress.

[Kayangel]

Just rang QEC its going to take a just get them to call me so i can talk to someone :hair:.

ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO GET HELP!! :hissy:
i am crying, jay is screaming.... arrrr

I have no one to take him or help me.

[Kayangel]

[quote=julietv8;2955607]Is there a community health clinic nearby?quote]

I have been there, she is no help. I am already doing everything she suggested.

[julietv8]

:( oh hun, if you want to talk to someone you can PM me your number and Ill give you a call

[M&Ms]

Rug him up, put him in the pram and go for a walk outside. For some reason Lily loved that at 4 months -as long as i kept the pram moving! May even put him to sleep. I honestly think it could be an age thing. My DD would get frustrated she couldn't move or do things so as soon as she could sit up and shuffle herself along she seemed a lot happier...

[miloand4]

Oh I feel for you my first ds was like this just screamed for hours then would nap for 10 minutes then start screaming again. I was like a zombie!! I have had three more kids since then and in hindsite I think it was because I was stressed Everything was so new and we were both learning about each other I was not stressed when the others came along and had nice calm bubs. The biggest thing would be to let things go (housework etc..) Things always get done eventually Instead of always trying to get him to sleep spend time cuddling and talking to him calmly when he feels that calmness he will in turn calm down and sleep better for you. It is so hard when you are dead on your feet to feel calm about things I know. But really I dont let anything worry me anymore and it works wonders! you dont have to be superwoman just be his mum for now and only do what you have to no-one will think bad of you for it in fact no one will probably even know! Make sure you sleep when he does to the dishes washing floors will all wait your sanity is worth more than a tidy house! Good luck and remember there is lots of support and my little screamer grew up into a lovely quiet 15 yr old

[mumkc]

I haven't read all the replies but I have had the same problem. I am taking my bubs to a paediatric chiropractor and he is working miracles (don't worry, they don't crack babies!). I had antibiotics due to surgery and this upset my baby's gut so he put us both on biotics and that was a great improvement. He also has a problem with his hyroid (sp?) bone which we are working through. And today he suggested I eliminate dairy from my diet in case DH is intolerant. We are going to work through all the risk food groups in case that is it (need to allow 3 weeks to see the effect of eliminating each). Perhaps this advice could provide you with a few things to try? Good luck!

[DonnaL]

You poor thing - sounds like you're having such a rough time at the moment! I can't suggest much that hasn't already been mentioned - but I promise that this will end! Take it hour by hour and just do the best you can. You sound like a very caring mother - good luck :hugs:

[mummajugs]

hi kayla

sounds like you are having such a rough patch hun... will pm you

lots of :hugs: to you and little jay