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View Full Version : Father a Constant Disappointment - RANT



Pobblebonk
30-04-2006, 17:19
Hi. I'm just wanting to have a rant because I'm very very upset :crying: with my DS's father.

We had arranged that he come around for an overnight visit today so that he could spend some time with his son and see what he's like in the morning (when DS is very playful, etc).

He was supposed to come at 3pm. I rang him at 3:30pm to ask him where he was and it was obvious I'd woken him up and he's like 'Oh yeah right I'm awake now'. I'm sitting here thinking, when would he have slept until? 6pm... 7pm...8pm... and still expected that he could come around?

He said to me it doesn't matter what time I come around - I disagree because DS's downtime starts at around 5pm and he's asleep by 6-6:30pm. And what would be the point of him coming around at a time when I'm trying to get him to bed? And we arranged for him to come at 3pm so that he could have a little play with our DS before downtime.

I'm so SICK of him being so unreliable - this is not the first time that he's done something like this. Too many times we arrange for him to come around and he either rings me to tell me that he's going to go drinking with his friends instead, or he doesn't even bother coming (or ringing) because he's sleeping off a hangover.

AND - I'm the one that cops the abuse from his mother (who he lives with - at 27!) because I get blamed for not letting him come around to see his son at his convenience! Am I really that wrong by wanting to put boundaries on when he can come and visit?

Does he really think he can keep stuffing us around and that we're just going to put up with it? On top of all this - we are going for mediation because he doesn't want me to have residence of our son! When he can't even be bothered coming to visit! :banghead:

AAAAAAAARRRRRRHHHHHH!

mumoftwoboys2005
30-04-2006, 19:52
I am so sorry to hear that your sons father is carrying on this way. Make sure you document everything just in case. As for his Mum, well she needs to butt out and pretty quick smart. Obviously she is being swayed by what her precious boy is telling her. 27 and still living at home. :no:

Don't worry about him. He's the one missing out on the milestones. You will get to see them all. Enjoy your little man, he is gorgeous. Makes me all clucky again! :yes:

EskimoMumma
30-04-2006, 19:56
:hugs: So far it sure seems like you are doing a really good job and showing yourself to be a very mature and responsebile mother! You have to set boundaries in a childs life and ifthe father cant shape up, he can go bugger off! JMO though :rolleyes: :laughing:

*Chels*
30-04-2006, 20:01
I think still living at home at 27 is pretty shameful(altho my DF lived at home til he was 26:laughing: )
he sounds like a ****!i dont really have any advice,i just wanted to send a hug and to tell u that you sound like a fantastic mummy!!and thats all your lil bubba needs!!!

Veritas
30-04-2006, 20:01
I feel for you big time....

I am dreading how things will work out for me.... I haven't even had bubs yet, and I can't even get the ex to make an effort to keep in contact with me or ask about bubs' progress, he just wants to argue cos I should be the one doing the contact apparently....

It's hard, I'm trying to establish guidelines for us, and maintain as open communication as possible... but he just thinks I am being difficult.... he can't understand that this bub already exists and the commitment needs to come from him now and not just after the birth....

Men... they really are a pain in the neck sometimes!

Hope things look up for you soon... it can really be frustrating when the effort is all one-sided! But at the end of the day your DS has a loving and caring mum and thats all he needs!

Blessed Mum
30-04-2006, 20:10
Oh :hugs: for you. You absolutley need boundaries IMO. I hope things improve for you soon. You should be enjoying your bubby & your time not worrying about getting his daddy to do his bit & properly!

Vent away here anytime!

P.S. - you sound like you are doing a fab job :thumbsup:

littlepickle
30-04-2006, 22:57
I agree, you sound like you are doing a fantastic job:D You are absolutely doing the right thing in seting boundaries! Does your ex and his mother really think that he can just drop around at his convenience?? He needs to learn that he has responsabilities... although living at home at 27 might explain a lot in regards to him not being very responsible!
I think you are otally in he right .. and doig a geat job!!:D :D

Crazyfamily
01-05-2006, 05:43
Hi,
I have sent you a pm.