View Full Version : Male opinions on circumcision
Justin1988
16-08-2008, 19:56
I am 19 years old and am a new father and had my son circumsized when he was 6 days old.
I am just wondering what other "fathers" think of it. Just a few of my mates make me feel as if I did the wrong thing.
I'm not Jewish or Muslim or even that religious. Just a typical Aussie guy.
I'm not a dad but my DH was adamant that our boys were not to be done. Even though he is.
We just thought that it was unlikely the kids would be 'comparing' themselves to him and more likely they would be 'comparing' themselves to their peers.
DH didn't give a toss about them looking like him or anything like that so we didn't do it.
Both of us are of the belief that it is an unnecessary procedure to have performed on our children.
This is coming from my partner and I think the same..if you feel like youve done the right thing thats all that matters after all it is your child noone elses
Oh I should say too our youngest boy is circumsised
The OP has specifically asked for the opinions of men for this thread. Ladies, unless you are giving the opinion of your significant male other, your posts are off topic and will be deleted.
Cheers
Ange&Seth
17-08-2008, 01:01
My fiance and I were agreed on the fact that if we had a boy, he would be circumcised. DS was done at 5 weeks of age.
We believed we were doing the right thing for our child at the time. It seems rather redundant for someone to try and make you feel that something you have done (which can't be reversed) is the 'wrong' thing.
All we can do as parents is make the decision we feel is in the best interests of our children.
My DH crosses his legs and cringes at the mention of the word. He is completely against it and would never circ one of his own children.
Sarahmum24
17-08-2008, 06:03
We didn't get our boys done, when I asked DP about it, he said he was easy either way, he also said he got it done and likes it and can't remember the pain.
punkbaby
17-08-2008, 07:02
I have asked dh his views :) he isnt circed, so our son isnt, he cringes at the thought of it, but naturally he said as his not done, maybe this is why he feels this way. He was advised to have it done a few years ago (he tore his foreskin during sex) and didnt go through with it but he did say should it need to be done medically for ds he would seriously consider it if it proved to be the best option.
Your child :) dont listen to your mates
sorry, i agree with your friends.
I resent being circumcised myself, and i dont believe that in the absense of disease, parents have the right to choose what parts of their childs body they can keep.
indigoin0z
17-08-2008, 07:41
at first 'non-thought' my DH was wanting it done.... i was furious...
once i made him inform himself & consider the real 'whys he wanted it' he ended up not having him done..
& by the next DS he was sure & now with DS3 here, he is soooooo glad he didnt end up going thru with it...
as he realises he was in an immature state of mind for his 'reasoning' & that a few years on, his views of life have evolved... ie: "who am i to do damage what my son was naturally given"...
as long as you understand why you did it Justin1988... and if you feel it was in bad judgement -as you may in the future- [there are always decisions we regret with parenting!] all you can do is make sure you use it as a reminder that in the future you might just want to make sure you've fully informed yourself... and therefore you cant really make a decision you might regret iykwim?
:party:congrats on your bub! enjoy :baby:
neostudded
17-08-2008, 11:37
Hello Justin :wave:
I just asked my son's dad what he thinks of routine infant circumcision for you. He said "I have not really thought about getting it done because there it no [medical] reason to get it done".
He is circumcised, don't know if that helps.
Have a nice day.
My dh is circumcised and we have both decided that we will have our children circumcised.
His reasons are mixed - at first he was unsure because he didn't want his boys to be different but as a nurse he see's a lot of problems that old men have and has decided for that reason he'd want it done.
At the end of the day we are all doing what we believe is in the best interest of our child and I don't think anyone has the right to judge you for that.
84zsazsa
17-08-2008, 12:02
Just asked Hubby and he said...
"I dont find it a nessesary proceedure due to the fact we are born with it....eg ment to have it....I wouldnt cut any other bits of skin off my son so why do it to his willy but your kid your choice"
Danni
sam's mum
17-08-2008, 12:56
DH wanted DS done initially because he was done at 3 y/o because of phimosis.
I asked him to do some research first and after doing that he decided that we would leave DS as he was born and address any medical issues as they arise.
BreakfastatTiffanys
17-08-2008, 13:13
My dh was also adamant that our sons be left intact. Dh is not circumsised. Of course, if was medically necessary then that would be another thing.
Your little boy, your choice :goodvibes:
I don't want to make you feel bad but my DP is angry and resentful that he was circumcised. He would never want a son of ours to be done
Justin1988
17-08-2008, 14:30
I don't want to make you feel bad but my DP is angry and resentful that he was circumcised. He would never want a son of ours to be doneI have 7 brothers and we were all done. So I just thought it was the best thing for my son to have done. I don't think he'll care about it, he might, but I don't think he will.
Lillynix
17-08-2008, 20:30
My DH's opinion on the matter is that no, you don't circumcise babies/children unless there is a real medical reason for it. He is circumcised himself but has stated that he would never do it to his own son. His words to me just now were "If it ain't broke, don't try and fix it".
WorkingClassMum
17-08-2008, 20:39
I asked MOTH -
1 - What do you think about someone else having their son circ'd and he shrugged his shoulders are said that he had no opinion - it was his son and his choice
2 - I (years ago) asked MOTh about circ'ng DS and he didn't want DS done even though he is. He could see no reason for wanting it done
(Man of many words, my MOTH:rolleyes:)
MOTh and I do agree (WOW, lol) that it's your son and your choice. Don't feel bad about whats done is done.
Hopefully, now you're on Bubhub - you'll have other people to bounce ides off and seek info and advice if you want it
MilkOnTap
17-08-2008, 20:40
My husband is circumcised. At first he thought he wanted our son chopped as well, until he watched a you-tube of the actual procedure. Then there was no way he was going to allow anyone near his precious child!!!
sockstealingpoltergeist
17-08-2008, 20:46
My husband is done and we talked at length about it. Once our son was born he could not even contimplate letting someone go near him to inflict harm that wasn't really necessary. If our son has any problems we will consider it then.
My DH has a friend that said "well I want my son to look like me, other wise he might be confused" and my DH said "Is he going to be born 6 foot tall with a beard?" - so his point was you will have many differences to your children, it is easy to explain.
pookiesossige
17-08-2008, 20:53
My DH is against routine circumcision... He is absolutely, passionately, 100% against having a highly sensitive, protective part of a baby boy's penis removed for cosmetic (non-medical) reasons.
misskittyfantastico
17-08-2008, 20:56
My DH is against routine circumcision... He is absolutely, passionately, 100% against having a highly sensitive, protective part of a baby boy's penis removed for cosmetic (non-medical) reasons.
DH says yuhah!
I am uncirced and saw no need to have my sons done as i see no medical or health reason to have it done.
if you feel you have done the wrong thing or ds wants it i have heard that there is a procedure that can be done to have it "reversed" so to speak.
NibbleCurlynBub
18-08-2008, 17:02
My DP did not want it done (I did) and we didn't do it. He is done.
Now at 2 1/2 he is reconsidering a little.
and yes, I am a lady... But I gave hubbies opinion. :yes:
That's ok right? :o
Mummaholic
18-08-2008, 18:37
My DH is against routine circumcision... He is absolutely, passionately, 100% against having a highly sensitive, protective part of a baby boy's penis removed for cosmetic (non-medical) reasons.
Same here
my DH said "Is he going to be born 6 foot tall with a beard?" - so his point was you will have many differences to your children, it is easy to explain.
LOL! True.
I am uncirced and saw no need to have my sons done as i see no medical or health reason to have it done.
if you feel you have done the wrong thing or ds wants it i have heard that there is a procedure that can be done to have it "reversed" so to speak.
I have heard this also
I hadnt thought about it, until I fell pregnant this time, and started talking to my DH about having a boy, as we have 2 girls, and he said he is done, so his boy will be done,
I didnt ask anymore questions about it, but that is his opinion.:)
Justin1988
18-08-2008, 20:00
he said he is done, so his boy will be done,
I didnt ask anymore questions about it, but that is his opinion.:)Will you allow him to make the decision or will you want him to change his mind?
I only ask because some mothers prefer the father to decide while others prefer that the father not.
MotherNurture
19-08-2008, 00:33
My husband is circumcised, but fully agreed with me about not cutting our son when he was born nearly 5 years ago. It was enough for him to know that it was painful and unnecessary; he doesn't remember seeing his dad's penis...why would his son care about matching? DH also wishes the choice about his own penis had been left to him. He would prefer to be intact.
I was very relieved that he didn't want to circumcise. Had he argued in favor of the procedure it would have caused major issues. I view circumcision (both male and female) as a human rights issue, so had he insisted I would have left him if necessary to protect my son.
MummyStar
21-08-2008, 19:31
My Husband isn't circumcised but we had our baby boy circumcised at 5 weeks old, I sometimes ask Hubby if he thinks that we did the right thing & he is 100% confident that we made the right choice for our son. He said that he would prefer to be done himself (Although he's not about to get done at 34yrs old).
Justin1988
23-08-2008, 19:58
My Husband isn't circumcised but we had our baby boy circumcised at 5 weeks old, I sometimes ask Hubby if he thinks that we did the right thing & he is 100% confident that we made the right choice for our son. He said that he would prefer to be done himself (Although he's not about to get done at 34yrs old).Well that is good to hear (considering your husband is not circumcised). Your husband would know what it is like not being so his opinion has a lot of weight.
I was circumcised when I was a few days old, so just decided my son would be as well.
sam's mum
23-08-2008, 20:02
for what its worth ex DP wasn't circ'ed and he always said that if DD1 was a boy that 'she' wouldn't be getting done.
Phyllis Stein
23-08-2008, 20:52
My DH is uncirced and shudders at the thought of having had his choice taken away as a baby. He's perfectly happy the way he is. There is no way on earth he would have wanted DS done.
My BIL was done in his 20s due to a medical issue and he preferred being uncirced.
Xistenze
23-08-2008, 20:59
im circ'd and so i DS
forbetoel
23-08-2008, 21:04
My DH is snipped and doesn't care at all. I do tell him though that he doesn't know any different, and so he has nothing to compare it to.
Luckily he was still against having our boys done.
My Husband isn't circumcised but we had our baby boy circumcised at 5 weeks old, I sometimes ask Hubby if he thinks that we did the right thing & he is 100% confident that we made the right choice for our son. He said that he would prefer to be done himself (Although he's not about to get done at 34yrs old).
Well that is good to hear (considering your husband is not circumcised). Your husband would know what it is like not being so his opinion has a lot of weight.
I was circumcised when I was a few days old, so just decided my son would be as well.
im circ'd and so i DS
Any particular reasons you decided to do this to your sons?
epiphany
08-09-2008, 21:52
Hubby isn't circumcised & did not want our son to be circumcised (not that it was an issue as I didn't want to either)...he has even said that if I had insisted (it is a topic we have spoken about quite a bit together before we had kids), he would have refused to have children with me - even to the point of leaving me. He is that passionate about it.
My brother is circumcised (all the men in my family are) & deeply resents having had it done. He had quite a few problems with it as a teenager.
I don't know how my other brother & father feel about being circumcised...it hasn't really come up in the conversation with them :o
One of my closest male friend was uncirc'd and recently opted to have a circumcision at 35 years of age and wish he had been done as a baby - if he had a son he would want him circ'd.
Most of my male friends are circ'd and to be honest they don't really have a strong opinion either way although a few of them have had their sons done mainly for hygiene reasons etc.
danawilliams87
13-09-2008, 10:27
My hubby is circumcised and he insists on our son having it done. I would be happy with or without. We are not religious and this will be our first child.
Justin1988,
One thing you will find is that there are heaps of opinions about what you must do with everything relating to bub. If you take them all too seriously you will go crazy!
I can offer a few male views. My cousin's sons are frantic that any male baby should be circumcised because they had to get done in their teens and they refer to all the problems. Personally I suspect the embarassment of getting it done as a teenager also affects the way they feel but they didn't say that. It must be awful for a self conscious teenager to get done for medical reasons because their parents didn't take care of it originally.
A friends husband wasn't done and he is adament that no son of his will be done as he isn't done.
When our son was born and we got him done I talked to a male friend about it. He works with a man with a dishability who is uncircumcised but doesn't do a good job of cleaning and the odor isn't too pleasant. He has become quite pro.
My husband shares my view that while penile cancer is rare he couldn't live with himself if he didn't get an insignificant flap of skin removed as a baby and a son got penile cancer and had to get his penis chopped off (similar to breast cancer and breasts).
My hubby is circ'd and when it came to our boys, it was just a normal thing to do when it comes to our choices :)
He says "each to their own :thumbsup: but come our choice..it's "OUR" choice and as parents, we dont need to justify our desicion :) "
SassyMummy
13-10-2008, 16:16
My bf is your age OP, and he's circumcised.
I predict that were we to ever have babies together, and were to have a son (obviously...lol), he'd want it done. I wouldn't, but would have to tread carefully as to not make him feel like he is any lesser of a man for not having his foreskin or whatever...
SM,
Do you actually prefer them with a windsock hanging off?
Speaking of lesser man does your preference (?) include uncircumcised guys with an underdeveloped head? I wonder why that doesn't happen with circumcised guys? Room to grow?
seanstheman007
22-10-2008, 21:35
While I don't have a strong opinion either way on this subject, my DP is extremely against having anything done, so I'll happily go along with what she asks.
One thing that does get me slightly riled, is when someone uses the intact and mutilated descriptor to describe those who have been circumcised. I have often wondered how they might react if someone used those same words to describe a piece of their body.
My dp says "Its totally unnecessary and an extremely outdated, unkind practice. I would not inflict it upon my child."
He is not circumsized.
Bearskin
05-11-2008, 08:44
My DH (circed) really wanted DS to be circumcised however I would not and could not consider it. DH really wanted DS to 'be like him' and was horrified at the thought of having to teach DS to clean under his foreskin one day. I told DH I would show DS - DH was more horrified as a 'mum doesn't do things like that'.
DH is still a little bitter and angry about the fact that his opinion has been disregarded totally on this issue however I could not reconcile the cutting of our child for no good medical reason just to satsify my DH's wants regarding the aesthetics of our child's penis.
SassyMummy
05-11-2008, 09:18
SM,
Do you actually prefer them with a windsock hanging off?
Speaking of lesser man does your preference (?) include uncircumcised guys with an underdeveloped head? I wonder why that doesn't happen with circumcised guys? Room to grow?
By SM, did you mean me?
I would never refer to a foreskin as a "windsock."
Anyway, my preference is that they have a penis. That's really about it. I choose my partners based on who they are, and am not turned on or off by whether or not they have foreskin.
The only time I see it sexually is when it's erect anyway, and they look pretty similar at that point...
twotrunks
05-11-2008, 09:29
Justin1988,
My husband shares my view that while penile cancer is rare he couldn't live with himself if he didn't get an insignificant flap of skin removed as a baby and a son got penile cancer and had to get his penis chopped off (similar to breast cancer and breasts).
Just read this to my DH and he thought that seeings we have breast cancer in our family we could get our DDs breasts removed and ovaries too cause that will reduce her risk of getting breast cancer.
BTW DH is circed but he didn't want our son done.
SassyMummy,
Sorry I read too much into your comment. I now understand.
The only time I see it sexually is when it's erect anyway, and they look pretty similar at that point...
LOL True.
twotrunks,
My husband shares my view that while penile cancer is rare he couldn't live with himself if he didn't get an insignificant flap of skin removed as a baby and a son got penile cancer and had to get his penis chopped off (similar to breast cancer and breasts).
You typed:
Just read this to my DH and he thought that seeings we have breast cancer in our family we could get our DDs breasts removed and ovaries too cause that will reduce her risk of getting breast cancer.
BTW DH is circed but he didn't want our son done.
:confused:That was an unusual comment he made. Thanks for sharing. Perhaps he didn't hear it correctly and thought I was typing about chopping off the penis rather than preventing it from being chopped off...
I was recently looking at a photo in an article of a man's body. He had had his penis and gluteus cut off to treat the penile cancer but he died anyway. Your comment reminded me of that.
twotrunks
05-11-2008, 18:47
:confused:That was an unusual comment he made. Thanks for sharing. Perhaps he didn't hear it correctly and thought I was typing about chopping off the penis rather than preventing it from being chopped off...
I think DH was suggesting that there are many parts of the body we could get removed at birth in order to prevent cancer or disease later in life... whether it be breasts, apendix, ovaries, testicles, bowel, etc, but he is not a fan of the idea at all. I have actually considered preventative surgery myself and he is not keen on it. My opinion is I don't need my breasts anymore (well after I BF baby 4 that is) nor do i need my ovaries. Just like technically DS doesn't need his foreskin.
TT.
ps. Sorry if DHs sarcasm made his comment confusing!
NibbleCurlynBub
17-11-2008, 13:21
My partner (the father of my son) is circumcised but did not want to circumcise our son.
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