Bub Hub on a Mission for Dad's

[bigbadbrad]

Hi Team,

We at the Bub Hub are very keen to improve the resources for our Dad's on the site.

This is one of the reasons I have resumed moderating but also because we realise that even on a site like ours, there is not a huge amount of info for Dad's.

In September, I'm doing an article on the site and a part of it will be to ask for feedback on what we can add for Dad's as well as encouraging the female members to encourage their partners to use the Dad's chat section of the site.

As a Dad I'm totally aware that while a baby is a huge change for most parents, Mums & Dads both, most info is aimed at Mums. But I think the main issue is that in general men dislike asking for advice/assistance more than women.

So please put your thinking caps on and let me know your thoughts. ALL suggestions welcome!

BBB

[DadsRock]

Hi BBB,

What about a tipping comp for the blokes? or an advice column?

Come on guys all suggestions welcome!

Rock on!

[aje001]

I know that this forum software allows, 1. anon posts to be made, and 2. forums to be made that only a certain group of people can access.

I would love to see either of the features made part of the site so we can talk about/ask advice on our (member) partners.

[goldtoe]

I wonder how many Dads are posting with female handles?
(Sorry, "nics"?)
Its a bit intimidating at times, when even the "dads chat" section seems to have more female posts.
So maybe the idea of a restricted section has merit.
But will sufficient numbers of dads ever be here?
Lets face it, Dads love kids, but we tend not to notice them so much before they start walking and talking.

[StillDad]

Lets face it, Dads love kids, but we tend not to notice them so much before they start walking and talking.
Is that really true? It has not been my experience here ... perhaps that is one of the cultural differences between our countries?

[goldtoe]

Is that really true? It has not been my experience here ... perhaps that is one of the cultural differences between our countries?

I think the maternal attraction to babies is hard-wired. Try walking around with a newborn, and look at peoples reactions. The ladies go all clucky. I've never had so many smiles. Guys pay less attention. With friends, some guys want to hold the baby, but ALL the ladies do. We travelled in Asia with a baby, with similar observations.

I'm very interested in the cultural differences though. I suspect they vary as much within the US as between US and Oz. Haven't travelled there with kids but you certainly seem to have plenty of family-friendly restaurants.
So what's NYC like when it comes to babies? I remember a massive fuss when a Swedish woman left her baby in the pram outside a shop in NY some years ago.

[StillDad]

Yes I do remember that quite well. Perhaps it was okay where she was from, but certainly not a good idea in NYC. Not that NYC isn't safe - it is - but all it takes is one crazy and she never sees her child again. And this stroller was small enough to take inside without any problem.

Restaurants are indeed very child friendly here in NYC - and that includes the outer boroughs as well as Manhattan.

As for "Dads not noticing them so much before they start walking and talking", that might have been true 35 years ago, but Dads have taken a much closer role with babies in those years. Of course, usually moms are the closer parent - especially if they are SAHM's, but with so many more moms working, and with so many more Dads not seeing themselves as the dominant partner is a marriage, Dad's are generally much more involved with their children from birth on.

(My wife has been ill since before my son was born, so for most of their lives I had been both mom and dad to both of my children so my experiences might be a bit non-standard.)

And you are right - there are many major cultural differences between areas of this country as well as with other countries.

Southern Dads tend to follow a more old-fashion role, while west coast dad's may be even more in touch with their feminine side (I hate that expression but it fits well here) than even those of us in the Northeast.

[bigbadbrad]

I like the sign off 'Be nice to your kids they choose your nursing home':yelclap: Very Cool

Personally, I hope that Dads all over the world realise how important their role is and how lucky they are not to be the Mums. We get to do all the cool things but we do not have to:
1. Be Pregnant
2. Take extended time out of work
3. Be pregnant
4. Give birth (I still shake my head)
5. get baby brain from talking to 0-6month old

I not saying being a Dad is easy! Just that I much prefer being a Dad to the things listed above.

Nice to have an international visitor! Welcome StillDad

[StillDad]

Thanks - and I agree with you ... if men had to give birth ... the human race would die off quickly! :laughing:

Though things were rough being mom and dad to my kids ... it was all so very worth it. Today, I am very close with both of my children. I just recently came back from my yearly solo trip made each year around Halloween to visit with my daughter. (My son lives only 10 minutes from us, so no trip necessary. :D)

Oh, and the fact that she works at Walt Disney World doesn't hurt much either.:smiliedance:

When they were kids, I was very involved with them at school and their after school activities. (We share many of the same interests.)

We all love Broadway and theater, and I have had the pleasure for quite a few years of having them perform in my bands over the years. Can't top that!

[vsberlina1995]

I noticed both my boys when they were born. My wife was getting over the birthing experience and sleeping lots and I was constantly up to the boys when they were new borns. I loved being able to hold onto them while trying to get them back to sleep. I think that general chat areas for other dads would suffice most people.

[SoloDad]

Thanks to Bubhub for the site and thanks for suggesting additions which include fathers more.

I am a separated single father and i love every minute of it. I can't get enough time with my gorgeous little girl and cherish every moment we are together. Unlike many single fathers i have forsaken my career (now work very part-time) instead preferring to be as involved as possible in every aspect of my daughters life.

My job took me all over the world and allowed me experiences most only get to watch on TV, but nothing compares to the joy my wonderful daughter gives me.

Not wishing to appear judgmental, i have difficulty understanding fathers who can't/won't or don't want to spend as much time as possible with their children. In my opinion they are missing out. The psychosocial and psychosexual benefits to children who have a father that is committed not just emotionally, but quality time-wise, is somewhat immeasurable.

I have found that there are many, many more agencies/outlets that support mothers than fathers. As an investigator with a Media Network i have researched and participated in stories on that very subject.

There are many occasions when i would like advice on parenting issues and often have to resort to the internet to find information. Bubhub has been a very welcome addition to my parenting. Thanks to all.

[NibbleCurlynBub]

Well done SoloDad, your daughter is incredibly lucky.

If only the father of my children thought that way too. *sigh*

[MooMum]

Hi Dads!

This is a great idea and I support it whole heartedly (sp?) especially since I'd be lost without my BH family. However I just suggested to DH that he should be active on BH to which he replied, "I can never get on the laptop because you are always BH'ing"!!! Sorry boys! Will try to be a little more flexible!!

Good luck and if we Mums can help, we will in any way!!

:hugs:

[androidy]

This is my first time here and my first post. I'm new to the father thing and the one that that really bought me here is just the need to source information myself. I just like to be educated on the things I want to do well and being a dad is one of them.

[bigbadbrad]

Nice to have another man in the mix!

There is nowhere in the world where men are more highly outnumbered than this forum but it is a great place to source information on anything and everything. Welcome

Regards
BBB

[guyba]

I like the sign off 'Be nice to your kids they choose your nursing home':yelclap: Very Cool

Personally, I hope that Dads all over the world realise how important their role is and how lucky they are not to be the Mums. We get to do all the cool things but we do not have to:
1. Be Pregnant
2. Take extended time out of work
3. Be pregnant
4. Give birth (I still shake my head)
5. get baby brain from talking to 0-6month old

I not saying being a Dad is easy! Just that I much prefer being a Dad to the things listed above.

Nice to have an international visitor! Welcome StillDad


Well said feel much the same :yelclap:

[Paul64]

Hi Guys.

I'm fairly new around here too. I'm 45 and we have left our run a little late, hence we're in the middle of our first cycle of IVF. Wifey is on the Synarel and Gonal-f shots. We should be harvesting in a few days if we get some ripe, juicy, plump follicles. The scan is this Friday morning (30-10-09) and that should show us the follicle situation. Keep those fingers crossed.

Bigbadbrad: What do Fathers need on a forum? Great question. I wish we had some more guys online that's for sure. Leave it with me for a few days and I'm sure I may generate a few suggestions of use.

Cheers to all.

Paul
SA

[bigbadbrad]

MORE GUYS

MORE GUYS

MY KINGDOM FOR MORE GUYS!!!!!

There are not many of us but we are here to help

Regards
BBB

[guyba]

Okay Guys Fella's Homys 32 days to go
feeling a little tens (excited) working all day and just thinking to my self what do i have todo to get to the hospital what time of day night will it all go down where i gotta be and what i have to do puting this up to tell it my way.......

really looking foward to bub as im sure all of you are man that arnt would not know of this site im sure.

Thinking alot of the small sh*^ not looking at a big picture at the moment ..........

done the anti natel classes was very informative but alot to take in lol im sure ill be all gud but and as i said looking foward to it.

thanks You may not even read this and it was a bit of a waste of your time but Thanks for your time .....

Guyba
:wave::ecomcity::ecomcity::ecomcity:

[bigbadbrad]

Hi Guyba,

Good luck with the imminent arrival of your baby. Just keep in mind that our job as Dad's is to make Mum's life as easy as possible during this time.

This is practically impossible as she is squeezing a water melon out of a very small space so if she asks for ice chips, out of season fruit or just wants to yell at you then JUST DO IT!!!!

Most importantly just be there and be supportive!

All the best
BBB

[Mattus]

Solodad - as a dad at 19 weeks, I understand your infatuation with Miss. I love the way she smiles when her mu or I talk, and I am in awe of everything that's happening at the moment. Kudos that you've sacrificed all that you have.

Guyba - relaxxxxxxxx, man. Take it all as it comes, and deal with it as you go. Take on board what you have learned, and remember to learn as you go.


Enjoy it!

Dads FTW!

[DaddysLittleGirlsDad]

Here's another Dad who enjoys every minute with his 15 months old daughter.

Its good to know that Bub Hub is aware of dads out there who loves their little ones as much as mum. Resources everywhere seems to be catered for mums and I admit I do sometimes feel awkward when mixing in parenting forums full of mums. "What's this bloke doing in a place full of mothers!?"

Maybe we should start a blog or something to help dads enjoy and treasure their time with their little ones.

[bigbadbrad]

All resources for Dad's welcome

We (Dads) are significantly outnumbered here but the Bub Hub is keen to support all parents!

Regards

BBB

[vegabass]

Hi fellas,

My wife is on BH and I thought id join up mainly to give her the $h1ts, and to have a virtual beer the blokes.

Im 25 and have the most angel 2 year old daughter. I must be the luckiest man as my wife is a very good mum and not only takes car of DD but takes care of me as well! I work in a hospital and have a background of sales and a broad spectrum of primary rescue.

I love anything to do with motorsport and was planning on buying my own race car but that is put on hold until the baby is born just to keep cash in the bank.

I look forward to rambling crap with you guys and to even up the male to female ratio lol

Vegabass

[goldtoe]

Its a bit quiet here for Dads.
But there was a great thread over on whirlpool. Its in the lifestyle section, so you need to be registered.

[bigbadbrad]

Welcome Vegabass,

Nice to have some new blood. Sounds like life is good but compared to the rest of the world life is good here anyway.

Steady on Gold Toe we need more blokes on here so stop trying to send them to other forums, you normally get sanctions for that!

I have seen a couple of your posts and they have a nice positive vibe Vega, hoping to get more Dads on but the male part of the species seems to be a little scared of Baby stuff

Regards
BBB

[goldtoe]

Steady on Gold Toe we need more blokes on here so stop trying to send them to other forums,

Ha! Brad, you've never seen whirlpool if you think it is competition for Bubhub!
No threat to the Hub's advertising revenue, as they are a tech forum, aside from that one thread I mentioned.

But it does give an example of a male-oriented forum, and you can see dramatic differences.
The culture here can be a bit hard for some blokes to take.
e.g. a thread starts out interesting, but then just reply after reply with no new content, just "hugs", "i agree", "how awful" ...
YKWIM?
(I'm not saying that happens all the time. Its just one example.)

Actually, just looking at all those dancing smiley icons on the reply/compose page would put most blokes I know off the site :-)

[Cluelessmum]

opps

[vegabass]

BBB, you have been stalking me! lol
I'm a member of some other car related forums which used to be good, but over time has become over moderated and full of mid aged know it all's who jabber on about absolute rubbish in the most politically correct way.

I hope this forum can be a little more free for dads to share their experiences with out the fear of being moderated because we might offend the 1% who might read it.

[ZacharyW]

Hi guys - thought I would take a few minutes to say g'day and give a brief intro.

I'm a 36 yr old American - probably one of those middle aged know it alls you've heard about from Vegabass - who moved to Perth with my wife about 2 months ago. I'm still adjusting to the cultural differences, but as we all speak English (pretty much, anyway!) it could be harder.

Our son is due in late June and I will be a home dad. I'm interested in meeting other SAHDs - whether in Perth or elsewhere. But I'm also looking just to touch base with dads in general.

I've started a blog http://funwithfatherhood.blogspot.com/ that I hope to use to communicate with friends and family. You're welcome to visit and post if you want.

Just wanted to say hi, g'day, or whatever. I hope to make a few virtual friends.

[ZacharyW]

I hope this forum can be a little more free for dads to share their experiences with out the fear of being moderated because we might offend the 1% who might read it.

I'm with Vegabass and others on this... it would be nice to have a forum restricted to dads only, or perhaps with a "no rules" sort of posting policy whereby the things that would cause a normal post to be flagged would be overlooked.

I'm not implying that all male posts will be full of four-letter words; I'm just saying that it might be nice to have a few posts with four-letter words in them that won't offend the kinder, gentler sex.

[dadwa]

Well new to here myself and noticed that the guys on here cannot have a chat without the ladies wanting to have a look or comment........so you might very well be on to something.

Sorry did I forget to say Hi?

:fingerscrossed:

PS Now knowing the net I am going to bombarded by women everywhere.........:ecomcity:

[dadwa]

Is it always this busy around here? :laughing:

[Xanthic]

Hi and welcome dadwa.



Is it always this busy around here? :laughing:

We need a few dads that are "post-a-holics" in our ranks. We seem to have a fair few silent types (including myself) around here.

[MooMum]

Hi boys,

Just thought I'd give a girls perspective! I took a break from the hub for a while but had posted in this thread previously.

Ok, DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY!! I have been attacked for things I've said as well. YES it is a female dominated site and YES there are people who look to start trouble. I have no problem with you boys having your talk! In fact I encourage it! I have a husband and would be more than happy for him to have his venting space!!!

Hang in there. You'll learn who to ignore and who have valid points and will support you. But don't turn it into an "us and them" thing as this will only make it worse for you!!

I hope you fins the space you need.

Girls, lets give the boys a little space!! But boys, don't be mean!!! Peace people, it's all about peace!!!

[dadwa]

Thanks for that


Well I don't mind being a post-a-holic as long as other join in. Suppose only real place for other dads to chat.

So do you guys find it easier having a boy or girl? Have a pigeon pair myself...

[bigbadbrad]

I think boys are much easier than girls but that is probably because I am a boy. I think girls are easiest young and just harder as they get older for Dads!!

Good luck to us all!!!

Regards
BBB

[Voltron]

getting back to the opening point - I think it is important for Dads to have somewhere to vent where Mums can' t read - however I think this idea had already been implemented and then shut down due to some people complaining.

Unfortunate really. Girls have 'women only' gyms, guys have 'gentlemen' clubs (and no - i don't mean strip clubs).

Why not set up both? A section that men can go that women can't and vise versa - that way it's fair to both parties.

I think men would find it more comfortable on this site if this was the case - isn't this sticky entitled "Bub Hub on a Mission for Dad's"? - more Dad's on the site should only be a good thing, don't you think?

[Mischief]

I totally agree with Voltron. Unfortunately some people, some where, will always find something to be unhappy about.

My husband has left the site never to return, I'm aware that most of the men that used to post no longer do. Shame really. :(

[Leisa21]

DH left never to return but that's because he can't handle being wrong :laughing:.

[goldtoe]

more Dad's on the site should only be a good thing, don't you think?

Probably will not happen. Just looking at that big box of animated emoticons when you post would drive most guys off.

Other "parenting" sites are similar. If you want guy-talk, you will do better to find a more male-oriented or neutral forum, with a small sub-section on family matters. Or just start a thread in a general section. I mentioned one, but it got deleted by the mod. There are plenty.
Meanwhile, bubhub remains a valuable resource to men who want to see how women think :-)

Do you think it would be possible to talk about the gender differences here? Problem is that someone will probably disagree and take offence. And if offending people is banned, a serious conversation becomes impossible.

[Phyllis Stein]

I think men would find it more comfortable on this site if this was the case


I honestly can't understand why. :confused: Yes, the forum is female dominated but I'm not sure why that's such a negative thing. There are many male dominated forums (politics, etc) where women participate readily. I just don't get the need for secrecy unless the matters being discussed are very sensitive.



Do you think it would be possible to talk about the gender differences here? Problem is that someone will probably disagree and take offence. And if offending people is banned, a serious conversation becomes impossible.

I think discussing alleged gender differences would be perfectly fine, as long as you're open to disagreement.

[Voltron]

Probably will not happen. Just looking at that big box of animated emoticons when you post would drive most guys off.

Other "parenting" sites are similar. If you want guy-talk, you will do better to find a more male-oriented or neutral forum,.

Well gee - this just sound like a big 'get off our site' to guys in general.

Isn't there a section of this site where women can talk about birth trauma that is password protected-invite only?

What if I wanted to discuss something private with other men - and just have a Dad's opinion? Wether I want to talk about Birth Trauma or Sex post birth is a moot point really - shouldn't I have the right to be able to discuss this with the forum of my choosing?

Phyllis - It's not about secrecy, its about being comfortable to discuss with the people who you choose to discuss it with.

Women have women only gyms. Guys know what go on there - women working out. But were are not worried that you have your own gym.

I go to the pub to discuss things with my mates (my group of choosing), I don't take a megaphone so everyone can join in though. I'm looking for an answer from a certain point of view - I don't want to get flamed because I might bring up a subject that is touchy to some.

Other times IRL its tough for blokes to talk with other guys about kids b/c many people (especially in my case) don't have kids - they only want to hear so much 'kid' talk before they just don't care anymore. Believe me - I was one of these guys. So to have a safe forum where guys can chat with other guys who actually give a rats about what you are saying - is important.

Another point is that guys, in general, are more blunt when typing online - we type what we mean without innuendo - talking with guys is different when girls are around. Don't believe me? - oh, thats b/c (no offense intended) your a girl. Guys may unintentionally offend the fairer sex without meaning too.

Next point: (whew I'm getting through some stuff here aren't I) Parenting is such a female dominated topic - yes this may have been through generations past however aren't websites such as bub hub meant to be about working though and overcoming parenting issues including gender stereotypes? As a man trying to be fully involved in my sons upbringing (despite the fact that I get more sleep-ins), I hit hurdles everywhere. Other guys roll their eyes - I cant go with my sons to mothers group as the other mothers are uncomfortable - I cant do swimming lessons as it is female dominated and they complain if there are guys present - the list goes on.

So I ask again; what is so difficult - especially if it is still moderated - about giving us guys somewhere 'safe' to talk?

*sigh* - I'm going to get some crap when I hit submit reply.....

[goldtoe]

- I cant go with my sons to mothers group as the other mothers are uncomfortable

They are called "play groups" nowadays, and you might need to look around. Ask your local playgroup which sessions have Dads going. Try a few until you find a good one. Some will be more welcoming than others. Women can find a hard time being accepted too, if they don't fit the mould. We found a really good group, with a couple of other Dads who show up irregularly as I do.

[BiggerNotSmarter]

Other times IRL its tough for blokes to talk with other guys about kids b/c many people (especially in my case) don't have kids - they only want to hear so much 'kid' talk before they just don't care anymore. Believe me - I was one of these guys. So to have a safe forum where guys can chat with other guys who actually give a rats about what you are saying - is important.


Voltron - I agree with this, it's pretty hard to find people who share my perspective of a) being a parent b) being male and c) being hands-on enough to actually want to spend any serious amount of time or energy discussing parenting issues.

At least in theory, the internet is the ideal place to find this rare breed of human, but even here there don't seem to be that many of us.

I don't know whether the solution is necessarily password protecting to increase the dude ratio, although I wouldn't be opposed to this. But we do need to be particularly active and supportive etc so that the other male types feel that they're not typing to a room of women when they really want a male perspective (not that there's anything wrong with getting the female perspective too IMHO!).

Anyway good to see some fellas taking it to heart!

[cookies n cream]

Hey guys 25 year old single part time dad here :)

Love being a father best experience of my life, miss my boy everytime I have to send him back :(

I'm tired so wont say much, but I will definetly be poking around this forum more often.

laters:wave:

[bigbadbrad]

No response from the rest of the Dad's so I will weigh in

Welcome to the Dad's section. There are not many of us around here but we do provide pretty decent advice so let us know what is on your mind.

Good to see you are an active Dad, single or married being an active Dad puts you ahead of 90% of blokes with kids in my opinion.

Welcome to the Forum

Regards
BBB

[cookies n cream]

Thanks BBB, My guess was if dads bothered to be on a forum about there Kids I might find more of the kind of guys I can relate too, as It seems alot of the dads I know would rather talk about there cars, ;) I'm on car forums too lol.

I'll see if I can talk some dads into even just having a look at this site

Talk later

[bigbadbrad]

Excellent,

The more the merrier!

BBB

[Famousdad]

this famousdad is new to bubhub.

how are you all doing?

[BiggerNotSmarter]

Hi CnC and famousdad, welcome aboard.

CnC I'm sure you'll find plenty of sympathy around re the tiredness!;)

famousdad whatcha famous for?

Cheers
Biggy

[Famousdad]

FamousDAD is just Famous for being Famous.

FamousDAD

[DaddySingh]

Hi guys, bit of a gap between the last post and mine.
After reading through the forums I would have to agree with a few of the previous posters.
I have been looking for parenting forums directed at only fathers for a couple of weeks now, and have come up with nothing.
BubHub seems to be the site with the most information that is based in OZ.
It would be nice to have a "sealed" section for the guys only, and it would certainly bring be back more often, If there was one.

Now on to my story.
I'm 25, from Vic. My beautiful wife and I are about 7 weeks. I'm so excited to have our first child, I'm bursting at the seams. I have been trying to be supportive, doing housework and rubbing her feet when they are sore etc etc.

How do you guys deal with a moody wife??

Cheers, Jason

[bigbadbrad]

Verrrrrrrrry carefully!!!!!

Be prepared to agree with her a lot.

If she is ultra moody you may want to look at the healthy nutrition during pregnancy info pages as it is possible that she not getting enough of something (Iodine, Iron etc) which in turn makes her feel bad and of course it is all your fault for getting her into this mess!

Little unexpected gifts do not hurt either!

Regards
BBB

[goldtoe]

Only 7 weeks and she is moody and sore feet? Oh, _due_ in 7 weeks?

Moody is hormones. It will change after the birth, for better or worse.
Maybe pain? Panadol. Listen when she talks and keep away otherwise? It will pass.

Last time I posted a suggestion of another forum for Dads, it got censored by Bubhub, even though it was far from being a direct competitor.

[DaddySingh]

Cheers BBB, may sit down with her ob and see if we change her diet, she is naturally iron deficient.

GoldToe, no, not due in 7 weeks... Still about 7 and a half months to go.

Today she wanted me to come from work because she felt weird. I don't think its responsible to leave a days work everytime she feels a little odd. What do you guys think?? Am I being too harsh??

[bigbadbrad]

It really depends on what the weird feeling is.

If she is close to her due date, or has had issues with taking babies to term etc then you go.

It is much better to go & find out it is a false alarm then to not go & she ends up in hospital (worst case scenario).

You also need to let her know that you are there for her 24/7 but part of that is earning money for the family so she needs to be sure that she needs you (bit of a minefield but best of luck)

Regards
BBB

[DaddySingh]

We are not sure exactly how further along we are, we are going for am ultrasound this Saturday morning to find out. By our estimate we are about 6-7 weeks.
I called her again at home and she's fine now, but still quite upset at me.
I love her to bits and I don't want anything bad to happen to her, but at the same time I want/need to provide for her and our upcoming baby (it will be a late December baby).
I'll go
Home and cook dinner so she can relax and maybe go for a drive to the beach (she find the beach relaxing, even in winter)

Thanks for everyones input!! I'm glad I found this board.

[goldtoe]

Some women get terrible nausea (morning sickness) in the 1st trimesta, and it sounds like she has it easy, from your wording.
Have you checked blood iron levels? Many women take iron supplements during pregnancy. Eat some red meat daily too.

[DaddySingh]

GoldToe: she has had a blood test, and we will find out the results on thursday...
In the meanwhile, I have received a call to tell me I will be a bad father (which I have to say, hurt me more then I expected it to) and how I never really loved her.
Why do I feel so emotional about all this?? Stuff like this is usually like water off a ducks back.

[bigbadbrad]

Emotions are high when you are having your first.

Trust we when I tell you that it is extremely likely she feels even worse than you do for having said that to you and is now suffering guilt HOWEVER do not expect her to admit.

Just buy her some early Mothers Day flowers on the way home and spoil her rotten all weekend!

Good luck

BBB

[DaddySingh]

Thanks BBB, i guess i just have to hang in there and perhaps try to communicate a little more.

[goldtoe]

In the meanwhile, I have received a call to tell me I will be a bad father.
Ow! Has she ever been like that before? e.g. with the monthly.
The good news is that the nasty hormones do not normally persist beyond the first trimester, or not much. I hope its the hormones!

It sounds like you could use the ladies' advice here on how to deal with the Mrs.

[DaddySingh]

Ow! Has she ever been like that before? e.g. with the monthly.
The good news is that the nasty hormones do not normally persist beyond the first trimester, or not much. I hope its the hormones!

It sounds like you could use the ladies' advice here on how to deal with the Mrs.

No never like this before.
Just like BBB said, when we spoke about it afterwards she felt bad that she had said it.
Today she got mothersday flowers, and shes feeling much better. Perhaps it was just a bad day, and the stress about having our first ultrasound was playing on her.

Thanks for all the support guys, im sure i'll need it again in the coming months.

DS

[goldtoe]

I hope you are not jinxing things with the flowers. ie counting chickens prematurely .
Its still very early in the pregnancy. Good luck.

[DaddySingh]

goldtoe:
i hope im not either... at the moment, ive got to be one of the happiest blokes around.

[swimyabuggers]

Get used to it. Seriously. As she gets bigger, it's all going to be your fault as you got her into that state (Apologies if I'm being a bit presumptious here...).

All you (both) can do is go with the flow and see what happens. Your wife will be emotional just because of the fact that she's having a baby and there's also the hormones to deal with. If it helps, SWMBO's obstetrician described the trimesters as follows:


First trimester is for worrying about every little twitch and twinge
Second trimester is for bonding with baby
Third trimester is for worrying about how the little bugger is coming out

Don't worry too much about not going home when your wife is "feeling weird" (there will be a lot of weird feelings over the next few months). In general you want to panic if there's bleeding or pain. Save up all the flexibility you can from your work as you're going to need it over the next 7 and a half months. Over the next few months your wife will harden up (don't put it quite like that when you speak to her...) but she'll still not be entirely rational at all times.

I got a couple of books when SWMBO got herself up the duff that helped. If this post gets censored, I'll PM the details to you. Anyway, the books I read were "Man with pram (http://booko.com.au/books/isbn/9780733625053)" and "Pregnancy for Men (http://booko.com.au/books/isbn/9781905410620)". Both of them are written by blokes, for blokes and should help you to figure out what you should do and when. I found them both to be a great help.

There is a 'secret mens section' but it doesn't get talked about too much as the natives get restless and not much gets posted in there anyway. BBB should be able to give you access to it.

Good luck!

SYB

[DaddySingh]

Thanks SYB, ill hit up the local library and see if i can come across those books, if not, amazon here i come!!

Cheers
DS

[FullTimeDada]

Hi Everyone, I,m new to this site but great to see that there are Dads wishing to get involved
My experience so far is that I have learned such a lot from other Mothers which in turn can be applied to our family situation:freakingout: (cant always wait for Dads to comment ) on every conceivable subject seems to flow out of women every day (Respectfully) :cheerleader1:anyway Dads lets drive this a little, a lot more and take the heat off the preconception that we have done our bit and can retire to the club
Cheers and Good Luck Fulltimedada

[BreadRoll]

I cant retire to the club?? :confused: But its family tradition. My father, my fathers father, etc. :no: