Preparation for Daddy Going Away?

[lros34]

Hi,

My dh has just successfully obtained a flying job and is travelling to Townsville initially for 5 weeks for training but this could extend longer.

I know it is no where near as long a period of time as your dh and dp's are away but I thought I would do a post anyway to get some advice on how you prepared your children for when daddy has gone.

I haven't been in this situation before and ds is now 2.5yrs old so is very aware of what is going on. This morning ds said to me he is worried and I asked what about and he said daddy, I asked did he mean about daddy going away and he said yes.

We decided to buy ds a present to give on the day daddy flys out and we are taking ds to the airport to see daddy go. We are also giving ds an item to look after whilst daddy is away.

We plan to do telephone calls and I will need to take over the father and son swimming class they do regularly together, which I have never attended.

I guess I'll have to wait and see whether there is any behavioural changes and talk about daddy alot.

Any other advice?

[Kazamataz]

Congrats on you Dh for getting a new job.

So just so I understand this right he is only going to be working away for the training period then he'll come home?

For such a short amount of time I would encourage you to first of all keep as busy as you can. That way you have less time to miss dh IYKWIM

I think it's fantastic that your giving him a special little something to look after till daddy gets home.

And giving him a gift is an other awesome idea.

Emails, phones calls and letters are all other great ways to keep in touch and for your son to have some sort of regular contact with his dad.

Even tho our little one is only 16 months before Jesse flys out he has a big long chat to him about how he will only be gone for a week and why he is going.
We find this really helps Asher to be less anxious and less clingy to me.

An other idea is you could make a sort of advent calender and count down the time till you DH arrives home.

:hugs: to you, it's not easy being away from them at first but you can do it :thumbsup:

[fiveofus]

Hi,

Congrats on the new job.
My DS1 loves his special picture of him and his daddy which he keeps next to his bed. I think your other ideas are great. We also plan something special to do when DH comes home eg a special park to visit, a special game to play with dad, a special meal we will have etc. Also keeping up routines and structure really help us.

Another thing I guess you need to think about is how you will cope - 5 weeks can be a long time. As Kazamataz said keeping busy is great and hopefully you have lots of friends or family close by so you get a break. I know when I start to miss DH or start getting tired it shows in my kids behaviour too as they are so sensitive to our emotions!!

And chatting here helps.....some days are hard and others are great.

Good luck - sounds like you are thinking of some great things!

[maisymum]

Hi :wave:, My hubby has a 3on/ 3off FIFO job, and i was worried about how the kiddies would take the change. We have a 7yr, 5yr & 16 month old and there a a few things we do, they draw him pictures which he takes away with him, we pack surprise chocies in his bag, he calls home daily and i put him on loud speaker, every couple of days i e-mail photos of the kids to him then he e-mails the kids back, that is one big thing they look forward to is coming home from school and seeing if dad has left a message.
We have a calender on the fridge which they cross out the days and the other thing is making a list of all the things they want to do when dad gets home and is off for 3 weeks, they can be little things like going to the park with dad or making pan cakes.

I hope this helps out and now that DH has been working a way for a while now they get used to it

Maisymum :flowerz: xx

[Sharai]

My DH isnt away for 5 weeks but has been to Coober Pedy for 2 weeks then home 2 weeks then back again for 2 weeks and my 3.5 year old son is having big issues this 2nd time around especially at night. He cries a lot and wants daddy. We talk to him every night before bed. DS says he is scared he is so used to Daddy being home normally and having brekkie with him and his older brother and being together for dinner and to tuck him in at night. But he is not dealing with it very well and doesn't understand that Dad is away for work but will be coming back. He says its too long. Last time DH was away DS 2 asked does he live there now and does he have a house there. To which DH said no just working there. My older son who is 6.5yrs is ok about it but misses Daddy lots too. Last time he made a special card with a picture of a plane and him, Mummy & little brother running to hug Daddy. It said in the card that he missed his daddy and loved him very much.

I miss DH so much and it hasn't helped much that I've been sick too and 26weeks pregnant. He normally helps me with the kids if I am unwell. So I was stuck last Friday being really ill and poor kids missed school and kindy. Parents, friends and inlaws all work and weren't able to help.

So I am hoping DH doesn't have to go for awhile as I get closer to the birth of our 3rd bubs.

[SoccerMom]

I think you'll find it surprisingly easy. When my son was first born my husband got a contract which required him to work away every year for 3 months. In the beginning I found it really hard (as he was only 4 months old) but after a while you get used to it. You've taken some good (and important) steps that should make Daddy's time away easier for all of you.

My parents lived abroad so my hubby being away for work was a great opportunity for me to go and visit them. In the end I was excited (and sad) for my husband to leave, but I knew that soon I'd get to see my Mom and Dad and my son was also very excited about the prospect of seeing Nanny and Pa and my sister and his cousins! My husband has since signed a new contract, so no 3 month holidays to Mom and Dad's anymore! Oh well.

Hope everything works out as smoothly for you as it did for me!

[lros34]

Hello Everyone,

Thank you for all your lovely replies and encouragement.

I can let you know that everything is going smoothly for us at the moment.

There are a few moments throughout the days when I look at ds and catch him with a sad expression on his face. I ask what is wrong and he tells me he is upset or sad and I'll ask what about and ds response is daddy isn't here.

But other than that ds has been an absolute angel for me. There hasn't been any tantrums or hassles to do anything that I have asked of him.

It turns out that when dh arrived at his new job they told him he only has to stay there for 2 weeks now and not 5 weeks afterall, which is a big relief and less worry for me.

Once again thank you lovely ladies for your responses and I am thinking of you and your families with dh away alot! :hugs: