mumbron
14-08-2008, 15:02
Here goes something i haven't really shared with bubhub before but i thought i would now because there is never a day that goes by that i don't think of my little man in heaven.
Harley michael
born 02/11/94 passed 26/5/95
Loved forever
:angel:
Still to this day i don't understand why my little man was choosen but i guess there must have been a reason.
25/5/95- Went shopping with my sister and her two boys had kfc for lunch it was a great day out that i asked my sis to stay over for the night because it was her youngest son's 1st birthday the next day, she wasn't going to because she had an appointment that day but stayed anyway she was up early with her boys to get going so she wouldn't be late.
Anyway Harley was still in his bedroom and she was about to leave and i said just wait i'll see if his awake i walked in his room and pulled back his quilt to find him in what i would descibe as a sweat and a odd colour anyway i called my sister down to his room and began to panic not knowing what to do or think, my sister went in and said call 000 she ended up calling but was in shock and couldn't talk so i got on the phone and was told to stay on until i could hear the ambo's then they let me go so i could talk to them and direct them to his room they had a ressus thing but walked into the room and said that there was nothing they could do and told me that it was SIDS i didn't understand why why my son i thought he was gorgeous and there was nothing wrong with him he was healthy and everything and the night before it looked like he was getting ready to crawl and it was my nephew's 1st birthday and my dad never meet him because he lived in Darwin at the time this was really upsetting.
The police arrived the coroner arrived and there was people everywhere they had to photograph things and ask lots of questions it was horrible i just wanted answers as to why my son died but i'll never get them. Also at the time my partner and i never got his autopsy results but i always wonder if it would be possible to get now i think i'm scared i should just let things be.
After the police ,ambo's and Coroner were finihed doing what they needed to i was allowed to have one more hold i was crying my eyes out thinking this isn't happening but then the coroner had to take him away so he could do the autopsy i didn't want him to go but he had to and this is what hurt me as well when the coroner took him he placed him in the front seat of the van wrapped in a yellow blanket i was horrified why didn't they have something like a bassinet to carry them in i was thinking what happens if he had to stop suddenly omg!! imagin driving past in a truck or bus looking down why didn't that coroner have a heart??? mine was shatted.
I couldn't never stay in that house again it felt cold and gloomy i was affraid i never will understand.
That night i could bearly sleep thinking my son was in a cold dark place alone why???
The next day my dad flew in from Darwin he just couldn't understand either although he worried about it when i was a baby but it never crossed his mind that something like this could happen to his grandson, he was in tears this was the first time i'd ever seen my dad cry. i think he would of love to meet Harley, Harley had my dad's name as his second name.
We went and seen Harley in hospital on the sat he was dressed in a whith bonds suit with a little bonnet on to cover up where the coroner had opened him. He looked so peaceful he was such a cheeky little man he was my life i always said if anything happened to him it would kill me but here i am writing down this i guess you just don't know what life is going to throw at you i always say now life is so short enjoy every day as it comes because you just don't know whats around the corner!
At his funeral i was so upset that i couldn't cry any more my eyes had all dried up but i do remember my dad saying his probably looking over you now laughing it was a beautiful service there was heaps of people there.
As weeks went by me or my partner at the time couldn't bring ourselves to pick up his ashes from the funeral home but my dad asked if he could look after them we said yes originally i wanted him to be burried so i could have some where to visit but dad was the one that said what if i move interstate or something i couldn't take him with me.
As it turned out i never stayed with Harleys dad and i did move from sa to nsw and back to sa where i live today.
Years later i meet another guy who i had two daughters to he was violent so i left him when my youngest at the time was 9 months i enjoyed raising my daughters alone.
But a couple of years ago i meet mmy Df who is the father of my ds and dd and everything seems to be going just great although i was very parinod during my pregnancy's and after my children were born but i guess this is just part of life and i'm greatful that i have my 4 kids and that they are perfect.
And i know he is watching over us......
Thanks for reading
Harley michael
born 02/11/94 passed 26/5/95
Loved forever
:angel:
Still to this day i don't understand why my little man was choosen but i guess there must have been a reason.
25/5/95- Went shopping with my sister and her two boys had kfc for lunch it was a great day out that i asked my sis to stay over for the night because it was her youngest son's 1st birthday the next day, she wasn't going to because she had an appointment that day but stayed anyway she was up early with her boys to get going so she wouldn't be late.
Anyway Harley was still in his bedroom and she was about to leave and i said just wait i'll see if his awake i walked in his room and pulled back his quilt to find him in what i would descibe as a sweat and a odd colour anyway i called my sister down to his room and began to panic not knowing what to do or think, my sister went in and said call 000 she ended up calling but was in shock and couldn't talk so i got on the phone and was told to stay on until i could hear the ambo's then they let me go so i could talk to them and direct them to his room they had a ressus thing but walked into the room and said that there was nothing they could do and told me that it was SIDS i didn't understand why why my son i thought he was gorgeous and there was nothing wrong with him he was healthy and everything and the night before it looked like he was getting ready to crawl and it was my nephew's 1st birthday and my dad never meet him because he lived in Darwin at the time this was really upsetting.
The police arrived the coroner arrived and there was people everywhere they had to photograph things and ask lots of questions it was horrible i just wanted answers as to why my son died but i'll never get them. Also at the time my partner and i never got his autopsy results but i always wonder if it would be possible to get now i think i'm scared i should just let things be.
After the police ,ambo's and Coroner were finihed doing what they needed to i was allowed to have one more hold i was crying my eyes out thinking this isn't happening but then the coroner had to take him away so he could do the autopsy i didn't want him to go but he had to and this is what hurt me as well when the coroner took him he placed him in the front seat of the van wrapped in a yellow blanket i was horrified why didn't they have something like a bassinet to carry them in i was thinking what happens if he had to stop suddenly omg!! imagin driving past in a truck or bus looking down why didn't that coroner have a heart??? mine was shatted.
I couldn't never stay in that house again it felt cold and gloomy i was affraid i never will understand.
That night i could bearly sleep thinking my son was in a cold dark place alone why???
The next day my dad flew in from Darwin he just couldn't understand either although he worried about it when i was a baby but it never crossed his mind that something like this could happen to his grandson, he was in tears this was the first time i'd ever seen my dad cry. i think he would of love to meet Harley, Harley had my dad's name as his second name.
We went and seen Harley in hospital on the sat he was dressed in a whith bonds suit with a little bonnet on to cover up where the coroner had opened him. He looked so peaceful he was such a cheeky little man he was my life i always said if anything happened to him it would kill me but here i am writing down this i guess you just don't know what life is going to throw at you i always say now life is so short enjoy every day as it comes because you just don't know whats around the corner!
At his funeral i was so upset that i couldn't cry any more my eyes had all dried up but i do remember my dad saying his probably looking over you now laughing it was a beautiful service there was heaps of people there.
As weeks went by me or my partner at the time couldn't bring ourselves to pick up his ashes from the funeral home but my dad asked if he could look after them we said yes originally i wanted him to be burried so i could have some where to visit but dad was the one that said what if i move interstate or something i couldn't take him with me.
As it turned out i never stayed with Harleys dad and i did move from sa to nsw and back to sa where i live today.
Years later i meet another guy who i had two daughters to he was violent so i left him when my youngest at the time was 9 months i enjoyed raising my daughters alone.
But a couple of years ago i meet mmy Df who is the father of my ds and dd and everything seems to be going just great although i was very parinod during my pregnancy's and after my children were born but i guess this is just part of life and i'm greatful that i have my 4 kids and that they are perfect.
And i know he is watching over us......
Thanks for reading