extra clingy

[lochiebearsmum]

Of late i have been getting a fair bit of criticism as my DS (18 months) is very clingy. He likes me to be by his side constantly and to be honest i dont really mind. As it is just him and i we are inseperable and i guess i am not just his mum but also his best friend! Even at playgroup and things though he does become distressed if he loses sight of me and some people have commented on this. At home i can duck away for a couple mins but then he is calling for me. Are any other kids this clingy? People are saying to put hin into day care but i now refuse to do this until he is old enough to understand that i will come back as i think it would be cruel to do it now.

[MumOf4Monsters]

Hi :wave:
You already know my opinions on this subject...but here go's anyway.

There is nothing wrong with him being "clingy" most babies/toddlers are at some stage. You are his whole world and he loves you, thats why he wants you by his side all the time.

It does'nt bother you so it should'nt bother anyone else.

People make these comments to belittle you and in turn make themselfs feel superior.....It sux!!! Everyone parents differently - whats right to some is wrong to others. But he is your child and you know what is best.

In regards to putting him into daycare - don't stress about what everyone else says and thinks is the right thing to do....He is your child and you will know when he is ready.

Chin up, you're doing a great job :hugs:

[maddysmummy]

I go to the toilet, she will sit in front of me. I get in the bath, she is sitting on the floor. If I go out of the room, she literally screams for me.
I used to love her being clingy to me, when she was 1/2, now she is 3 its such a pain! I wish I had listened to people and had put her into daycare, not just for her, but to give me some peace.
Because now I'm always at home with her, I can not do nothing. She will sit soo nicely drawing with me in eye shot, as soon as I go, she's behind me!
It something that I do wish I had done. So now my mum takes her out for me, she cries all the time, but she does have to learn she cant be with me. If I get in the shower, my mum has to entertain her.
Its becoming difficult, especially as she is so verbal and very loud.

[maddysmummy]

But as said just now by Mumof4monsters, everyone is different. I'm only saying what I feel now. I like to be able to have time to myself.
Each parent are different. People nagged me for years to let Maddy go out of my sight for one night.
I cant do the night, but I do like a few hours in the day time :)
Everyone is different. Each to their own I suppose. As long as your happy doing it, carry on :D

[NewBeginnings]

My DS started being like this too... but a little earlier than 18 months. And at almost 2 he is only now sort of "out growing" it.

My DS was shocking... he wanted no one but me and had to be with me at all times or he would freak. Of late he's mainly only like it when we have visitors... and only for a few minutes at the start... and then he loosens up a bit.

I asked my GP about it... and he reckons it's because they develop perceptions that the world really is a big place and they get scared?

[lochiebearsmum]

Thank you Sue Ann!!!!
You always make me feel much better!!!!!!
I will pop him into day care when he gets older but not yet prob when he is 3. I would also love some time by myself but wouldnt enjoy it knowing he was upset. at least when he is older he will understand.... i hope!!!!!!

[ThomasMum]

Of late i have been getting a fair bit of criticism as my DS (18 months) is very clingy. He likes me to be by his side constantly and to be honest i dont really mind. As it is just him and i we are inseperable and i guess i am not just his mum but also his best friend! Even at playgroup and things though he does become distressed if he loses sight of me and some people have commented on this. At home i can duck away for a couple mins but then he is calling for me. Are any other kids this clingy? People are saying to put hin into day care but i now refuse to do this until he is old enough to understand that i will come back as i think it would be cruel to do it now.

I'm pretty sure our DS went thru this stage, even now and then. But I wouldnt to worry about it. He's a kid of course he would be clingy to his mum and dad right?
Do it what right to your kid, ignore other people's advice. Esp the daycare bit.
The idea of sending the kid to the daycare to break off the clinginess (sp) is just so wrong! But thats IMHO, because I wouldnt do that to our son. We send him to daycare to learn/mingle with other kids, but he can be as clingy as he wants to with us iykwim hehe...

HTH...

[melannh]

My 20 month DD has been like this - for as long as i can remember. I wasn't coping with it, and 4 months ago - I put her into a home daycare 1 day a week...
You seem to be coping with your DS, and i admire you - I too, have had MANY comments about my DS... I am at home with her - and have been since birth... I am always there - and therefore, as others have said, we (as their Mum) are their world.
My DD will settled for her Dad, but it takes alot of effort - if they go out, she is very clingey to him and whingey.
She has improved ALOT since going to homecare. I still NEVER go to the toilet on my own, I can't work on the computer and she is constantly looking for me if out of sight - but her whinginess has improved.
I sometimes get a little upset at others comments - but I know that my DD is fine, it is her nature and we're working thru it.

I say - if you're comfortable with it, then that's all that matters.....

[Benji]

If you don't want to put him in daycare, and you feel he's not ready there's no point in forcing the matter.

My brother was a VERY clingy toddler and child. And he was younger than me!

I remember when he was a baby he would literally "cling" to my mum all the time, even as an older toddler and child.

When I fell asleep with him in mum & dad's bed he used to annoy the cr*p outta me because I would wake up with this kid all over me.

Now we barely see him leave his bedroom when he's not at work :rolleyes: he's fine! And my mum didn't do anything to stop the "clinginess" but wait for him to grow up in his own time.

[Win]

But as said just now by Mumof4monsters, everyone is different. I'm only saying what I feel now. I like to be able to have time to myself.
Each parent are different. People nagged me for years to let Maddy go out of my sight for one night.
I cant do the night, but I do like a few hours in the day time :)
Everyone is different. Each to their own I suppose. As long as your happy doing it, carry on :D



Oh my god.. I was and still am exactly like this. As soon as my bub was born everyone wanted to babysit her (especially my mum) but I couldn't and still can't leave her. I guess it just makes you a very good mummy :)

I also think because I never ever left her with anyone (except her daddy ofcourse) she has developed an extra strong attachment to me. Like all you ladies my little girl screams if I am not in her sight even if it's just for a second. Granted she is only 5 months old so still very young but I have to have her on my lap all day long, if I need to get her lunch I have to carry her with me. I love it 99.9% of the time (maybe I too have attachment issues?? haha) but the other .1% of me is exhausted!!

At the end of the day I just grin and bear it because in a couple of years I will be begging for her hugs and kisses so while she wants me around I am happy to be there.. :) In saying that a couple of hours here and there of me time would not be rejected if the opportunity arose haha

It sounds like ALL you ladies are wonderful mum's that's why your little bubs want to be with you 24/7!!

[miraclebaby]

My little boy was like this. In the first two years of his life I had exactly one and a half hours away from him and that was when he was asleep and I had to go to the dentist. He was so clingy it was ridiculous. He would cry if he couldn't see me and he would not even go into the backyard with his Dad if I wasn't there. Sometimes it drove me crazy but mostly I kept in mind that it would not always be like this because they grow up so quick and when he didn't need me I would miss it.
People suggested Daycare to me but that didn't make sense to me. Go back 40 or 50 years ago and kids weren't just shoved in daycare as a solution to clinginess and they survived okay. Fair enough if you work and you have to put them in daycare or even if you don't work and you feel like you really need time out but if you are okay with being Mum (or Dad) 24/7, why put them in daycare?

Anyway, now at 2 1/2, we go to a new playgroup and I almost miss his clinginess. For the first few weeks he was still clingy but now he happily plays, occasionally checks to see I am around but a lot of the time if I come over to help him with something or to give him a cuddle he says 'Go way, Mum' and rushes off to the next important thing on his agenda.
Now I am more clingy than him... sigh.. I knew this day would come but I'm still unprepared for it.
Enjoy it while you can and don't listen to the people who advise otherwise. Do what feels right for you and your little one.

[SimplyMum]

My DS, like yours is a Mummy's boy. Although I am a Mum first, we are also best friends. We hold hands, we cuddle up and watch tv, we go and get hot chocci's together, we chat (well, he does- I can't get a word in!).
He goes to daycare 5 days a week. Mostly out of nessessity- I work full time. I am glad he does go to daycare though as I could definately see him having trouble socially. I have also enrolled him into dancing lessons to improve his self-esteem and confidence in a social setting.

Not every child/family is the same- although I am happy with him in daycare for the social aspects. Perhaps enrolling him in a extra-curricular activity where you may have to wait just outside the door for a small amount of time. That way, it isn't all day but your still building his confidence away from mummy.

Either way, I think he will be fine. After all, he's only little- a baby still. He doesn't need to survive out in the big wide jungle on his own just yet.

[lochiebearsmum]

Well this baby of mine is now 2 and a half! he is still a mummys boy!! i have just moved him into his own bed and he stays there for maybe 3 hours (but better than nothing!) we are still always together but i really dont mind at all... he is my life, my everything and in 10 years time i will be wishing for it again!! at least now though he will watch tv and i can sit with him which offers a slight break! we do a lot of activities including little booties, playgroup, gymnastics and swimming but he is mostly by my side, of late though he has been participating in group times at gymnastics without me... then i get sad and dont feel the love! especially when he wanted to do rock your boat with the teacher instead of me!!!