1.5 or 2.5?

[Love is all you need]

DP and I are currently having discussions (well more like me going :ecomcity:) about TTC #2...

I would love a one and a half year gap and DP wants a minimum of 2 and a half years.....if he had his way it'd be 4 year gap :o I told him I don't want a 4 year gap between them as I want to finish studying while they are young and then go back to work when they are school age.....so I have (if I went part time) 4 1/2 years of studying left....but DP wants to wait let me finish my study and then have more kids (which really defeats the purpose of me studying online :hair:)


So do you think DP has a point or do I have a point in having kids sooner, finishing study and going back to work when the kids are at school?
Also what are the pros and cons about both age gaps.....

Thanks

[QTB]

dont go 2.5! lol its horrible!!

Pros - when 2.5yo is in a good mood, its lovely
cons - 2.5yo gets jealous easily (and harlan is a very easy going placid baby, id hate to have a demanding one with a 2.5yo!) - 2.5yo doesnt quite understand everything, like bubs being too heavy to lift up, but too small to play with! etc its a very frustating gap! :)

we are going for less of a gap this time...

[chameleon]

I'd go for a 1.5 gap because I agree with you about studying while they are little and then going back to work. Also, it could end up a 2.5 year gap anyway- you never know. We wanted a 2.5 yr gap and now we are having a 3.5+ gap because it's taken longer than we expected.

[cheezelkat]

I would never do a 2.5 year gap again :o - go the smaller one. At least both kids might sleep at the same time to give you a break.

[Love is all you need]

Thanks girls for your advice.....I think I will start to persuad him to start again at the end of this year :fingerscrossed: he listens lol......
Chameleon you are very right and thats a good way of putting it to DP especially as the doctors have predicted I will have trouble....

MyQTBoys how exicting I love your signature :D

[Love is all you need]

anyone else? :cool:

[Ashy]

well i cant say from complete experience as i havent had #2 yet
But my 2 will be 16 months apart so i say 1.5 years

I figure it is less time pregnant, out of the workforce, and i can get my life back on track sooner.
The kids will be closer and keep each other company, i am not used to sleep yet so it wont matter lol

But it is personal pref!

[our little treasures]

I love the smaller gap to be honest. 18mnth olds are still usually having a nap which gives you a bit of a rest or sometime with baby. I use to put them for their naps together then I could have a nap or do something around the house.

I also love that my 3 are growing together and learning things from each other. They all love the same things which helps stop a lot of fighting :)

[nut]

We have a 2.5 yr gap and it has been wonderful. Whatever gap you have it will work out OK. But the bigger the gap the longer your baby gets to be a baby.:)

[LilMrsC]

As you know I only have the one DD. I'd love a small gap between Charlotte and any future siblings. Its not something DH and I have discussed at this stage. But I dont want anything over 2 years if I can help it (dont know if I'll get my way though. ;)

[SorenLorensen]

i LOVE the 2.5 age gap between my girls. i don't know why but i find it really easy. DD1 is old enough to understand things properly and is able to help out when i need it. she is also old enough to understand if i say i have to finish doing something with DD2 before i can help her do what ever it is she wants.

we will be doing the 2.5 age gap again :yes:

[reneem]

Yep I'm another 2.5+ gap lover. It was great to have DD1 already toilet trained and out of nappies and as SorenLorensen said she was able to fully understand when I asked her to do something. There is 3.5 years between DD2 and DS1 and again I love the gap, she is a real little helper as opposed to a hinderance. I think the fact that my first 2 were girls helps as well, as they tend to want to be little mothers. But each to their own and :fingerscrossed: it turns out the way you want.:yes:

[ThisIsLiving]

Yep I'm another 2.5+ gap lover. It was great to have DD1 already toilet trained and out of nappies and as SorenLorensen said she was able to fully understand when I asked her to do something. There is 3.5 years between DD2 and DS1 and again I love the gap, she is a real little helper as opposed to a hinderance. I think the fact that my first 2 were girls helps as well, as they tend to want to be little mothers. But each to their own and :fingerscrossed: it turns out the way you want.:yes:

:iagree: We've got a 3 year age gap, and its been brilliant. I myself would never purposely go for 1.5 years...I just couldn't handle it lol! I also like getting to spend one-on-one time with my children, enjoying that I only had one "baby" at a time, and letting my baby be a baby for a while longer, iykwim.

Completely personal preference though :flowerz: You may find you love a closer age gap. I just know I wouldn't! :laughing:

[joshnchloesmummy]

My two are exactly 18 months apart it's been fantastic, my older one wasn't jealous as he was too young and now they are at the age where they can play together, have naps at the same time etc. I would love to start trying again now buy my dh wants to wait another year before ttc hoping i can change his mind...

[DoubleDelight]

I had 2.5yrs between 1 & 2 and it is a brilliant gap. DS1 was older enough to be reasonably self sufficient and aware of what was going on but it is close enough that growing up they were best mates. Plus it meant only one in nappies.

[mixy]

I would definatly go with the 2.5 yr gap in your situation but as has been said it really is personal preference. I have had a 3.5 yr gap nad now a 2.5 yr gap, and i definatly perfer a bigger gap. they really undersatnd whats happening. even my 2.5 y/o has some trouble and runs off etc, an 18 mth old would definatly not understand.

[lexies mum]

DP and i have decided to start TTC#2 in november so hopefully there will be a 16-18 month gap, i think it would be perfect

[Love is all you need]

Thank you girls for responding have been reading all the posts, DP and I have decided after a long talk that we are going to do a 2.5 year age gap.

DP has said he understands how I want to spend as much time with each child as I do with previous ones so he has told me that I don't have to go back to work until the last one is in full time kindy.

So for now we'll be hopefully aiming for 2.5 years :D

[RedPanda]

I'm a big fan of close gaps. I love babies and pregnancy, but to be honest, I like seeing the finishing line in terms of nappies, breastfeeding etc. I would like my kids close because I grew up with sisters who are very close to me in age (mum had three under three :eek:), and we are still very close today.

I think there are benefits each way. I see the way DS2's face lights up when he sees his older brother (22 months difference), and I just love that they have each other and that DS1 will probably not remember life without a brother.

[mim1]

I'm a fan of the bigger age gap. My ds is 19 1/2 months old now and I'm not pregnant for TTCing for #2 yet. I think personally I would find it very challenging to have a newborn at this stage. My ds does run off in the shops and needs plenty of care & attention - including nappy changes, feeding him meals, etc. I think when he's older he will potentially be a big help for me with #2, whenever that is.

Also, the bigger age gap is helping me get study out of the way, lose weight, regain muscle strength lost (thanks to pelvic instability) and regain my iron stores. There's no way I would have physically been ready at 8 months after delivery to TTC for #2.

[Madmummaof3]

Hope you don't mind if I join in :D

We have a 2 year 9 months gap between our 3 children and it was bliss. By the time the baby was due, our other kids were out of nappies, off bottles and more dependent which helped heaps.