who will u tell when u get ur BFP?

[trixiebelle17]

as the question states... who are u going to tell when u get ur BFP!

will u keep it a secret and if so what are your reasons for doing so?
If not, why will u decide to tell ppl?

[WaitingforaBFP]

Well Im hoping that af doesnt show. I have 1 to 3 days until I find out. If she doesnt show then Im gettnig married on teh 16th of this month and I will tell everyone there even DH. I want to make it a special surprise to him and our families and friends. So Im praying that she stays away! :)

[Entropy]

We're now TTC #2 and think I am going to wait a little longer than last time. DH was so excited when we found out with DD that he told EVERYONE straight away (cute, but a bit annoying as I had said I wanted to wait).
I'd like to wait til 12 wks - mostly because at 10 weeks last time, they thought I might miscarry... I guess I'd just like to be a bit more cautious this time...

[Shan84]

We will tell DH the in-laws and my parents and our brothers and sisters and a close friend who knows we are TTC and thats it. I will ask them not to tell everyone until we are at around the 12week mark just to be safe.
I am a very excitable person and would have to tell those people once I found out!!!

[trixiebelle17]

thank for replies girls... DH and i got into a fight last night about who to tell, and he told me i was selfish to not want to tell anyone till the 12th week, he also told me he didnt care about how i felt about telling people as he was going to tell his family regardless of my opinion... im still a little upset... we were at his families last night and was given the 'unwanted' advice that made me want to keep ttc a secret in the first place... id love to tell ppl, but im scared of misscarriage and it i think it would be great to keep it a secret 'just between us'.

[bAaM]

U a not selfish:no: u are cautious (sp) and have every right to be.

I myself should learn not to tell anyone till 12 weeks cause i have had 2 m/c but i get so exited and tell EVERONE.

You girls on bh will be up there to tell first as well.:D

[trixiebelle17]

thanks baam :hugs: :)

i understand where his sister is coming from as she argued she has had four miscarriages and that family need to know to support u... ironically tho DH only knew about one m/c that she had had till last night (which was very sad as it happened at about 5 months)... dont think he realises she didnt take her own advice

[branjie]

My SIL told everyone including her 3yo and her 10yo step son that she was pg pretty much straight away. At 8wks she had heavy bleeding, and was told her cervix was open and she was having a m/c. She told the children that she had a m/c but when she went for an u/s a couple of days later, to check that the m/c was complete, they found a heartbeat. So, now they've told the upset 10yo that the baby might be o.k (she has been told that she could still m/c), and the 3yo still thinks the baby is gone.

Therefore, waiting 12 weeks will be my option. Only DH and I will know.

[missartymiss]

Hi ladies

this is definitely an interesting question & one DH & I have often talked about... my Mum and family are of the old "dont tell anyone till 12 weeks" but there are alot of people who have guessed we have been TTC for a while now and will wonder why I make the changes I will - i.e. no coffee at all (now just have one good one the days I am in the office) and no alcohol... (always like to have 1 glass when I am out with friends or family)... silly things like that. Also despite her thoughts Mum would be devastated if she didn't know!! :no:

DH seems to think we should wait the 12 weeks... I know I will need to tell my Mum & Dad for that bit of extra support which means we'd also tell DH's parents and ask that they not tell anyone... but that might be about it until we get closer to the 12 week mark... when it all happens that is :rolleyes:

I work with a few ladies who are also midwives and they are all in agreeance that you should tell anyone you want as soon as you want... even if it is the day you find out and are only about 5 or 6 weeks or earlier. :ecomcity:

Their thinking is that this way you have support for anything that may eventuate and in the event that it might be a bad outcome and end with a m/c then it's ok for everyone to know - one in particular believes that we should all be more transparent and accepting of m/c as it's such a normal part of the process for so many couples... I am not sure how I feel about this at all?

I had friends a couple of years back who shared their joy with everyone the day her HPT results were +ve and it felt like the longest pregnancy in the world to share with her.... :yes:

at the end of the day it's such a personal thing and I believe that we'll all know what we want to do at the time...:wave:

[GoldLeader]

I agree...it is a personal choice and i can understand that there may be conflict within a couple who have made different choices.
with our first we were going to wait 12 weeks and ended up telling everyone at 11 weeks because i had to start wearing maternity clothes to work (suits are not very forgiving).
this time we are telling everyone we are ttc and will tell them as soon as we know (some of them even know that i have been feeling symptoms this week). I would need their support in the event of a miscarriage anyway.
we have told my 3 year old because she does not know how long a pregnancy takes...if I were to miscarry then we wouldn't tell her and would just try again...she would be none the wiser. my reason for telling her is that she has to understand that i can't pick her up anymore and we have gotten her used to the idea now.

[Lukie]

We gradually told people as we grew more confident about the pregnancy- I told a close friend the day I found out, DH told a mate a week later, then more friends as I saw them. At 6 weeks I told my mum (though I was going to wait til 12 weeks before telling our whole families). We gradually told a few more friends and my sister and sister in law. Unfortunately, at 11 weeks I had a miscarriage. We had to tell my dad because we were supposed to go over for his birthday that night (rather mum ended up telling dad), and then quickly told many of our friends because they were involved in our lives and we had to cancel plans for the weekend, cancel other commitments for that week.
We found that those friends that we told were so supportive, and we really needed a close circle to share the burden with. My family tried to be supportive, but it came across as rather insensitive, what with my mum telling me not to cry, my dad never mentioning it, and my sister telling me it was for the best. People react so differently to miscarriage news, and many think they have to make you feel better, or at least stop you from feeling upset.
I think we will tell the same people next time around, but wait a little longer.

[BB78]

Only ppl DH & I will tell is my parents & our children.

& My friends on bubhub of course :thumbsup:

[Cheerio]

I know everyone is different on this but geez it makes it really hard when you and dh don't agree.

With DD I had light bleeding from 5 to 8 weeks which was awful so made it easier not to tell everyone just some close friends and family. I had such extreme :barf:it became very hard to hide at work and the clever ones figured it out pretty quickly. So it was more circumstances of pregnancy that took decision out of our hands.

Next time will probably only tell parents and brothers/sisters.

Good luck with coming to an agreement with your DH.

[MummyMelly]

For the first 12 weeks I would only want our parents to know, incase something should go wrong. But I know that my MIL would still go and tell everyone. My DH would want to tell straight away, but I would hate to say something, get everyone excited and then M/C which would just really upset everyone.

[stretch]

When we finally get the BFP - we have decided that we will wait till the 12 week mark to tell (unless excitement gets the better of me especially!!) I want it to be a huge surprise for mum - she doesnt even know we are TTC. One of DF knows that we are 'thinking' about it... and 2 friends of mine know, but they live in diff states - So never see me!

[maybe1more]

I waiting 12 weeks with my first (apart from tell my closes friend) to tell my parents, but with the second pregancy i pretty much told every one when i found out a 7 week, as i thought nothing could go wrong because i had already had a prefect healthly baby, but i was wrong, i found out at 12 weeks that i had a molar pregancy and had to have a d & c. So my third pregnacy i kept it quite untill i was 14 weeks just to be sure:yes:

[Baldie's Mum]

I am going to tell the world!!!!
Write it in the clouds........
:cloud9:

mind you its going to be so obvious when i do finally fall preg, cause i will be one happy chicken!!! :D

Oh but the first person i will tell is probably going to be Kristi, unless dh is with me in person......If dh is at work, then i will wait till he comes home to tell him. If i find out at 4am....with FMU, i am ringing kristi!!! :D