Help! Wife gone crackers!

[dangerman]

Been having lots of strange days lately as my dearest darling wife (16 weeks pregnant). She keeps thinking (and letting me know, oh boy does she let me know!) that I'm never there for her and such. Nothings changed majorly since she became pregnant (except I got booted out of the bedroom for snoring during her first trimester when she was feeling sleepy) but now all of a sudden "I'm never there". I used to work before and I still do, but now "I'm never there". Whats going on? Is it a chemical imbalance in her brain or a blood clot blocking her thinking or what? :hair:

[Angelmist♥]

:laughing:Oh dangerman, it's called pregnancy hormones. They are wild and crazy creatures that will drive you freakin mental at times:eek:. Just let her know she's loved *shrugs* that's pretty much all you can do for a while haha.

[BreakfastatTiffanys]

I agree with Angelmist here, pregnancy hormones!!!

Try and be patient and kind, even though she may drive you mental. :hugs: It is really hard being pregnant, not all a bed of roses like the movies like to make out.

[bigbadbrad]

Hi Dangerman,

I also agree with the ladies. Every women reacts differently to being pregnant, some have terrible morning sickness others have none at all!!:smiliedance:

However the one thing they all have is a huge change to their bodies including chemical/hormonal changes.

In your case it sounds like you are in for a trying time but TRUST me when I tell you it is much worse for her! :barf:

So as mentioned just ignore irrational accusations (but don't tell her you think they are irrational!!!!) and be there for her. Foot rubs, making her dinner or just listening to how her days are different due to the pregnancy can help a lot.

Does she have friends she can talk to about being pregnant? If not you might point her in the direction of a Forum (ours is pretty good) or a friend who is having or recently had a bub

Good luck with the journey, it is all worth it in the end!

Regards
BBB

[trouble]

Yes I agree with the others, :yes:

My DH says if I get pregnant again he is leaving town, he says he cant handle it, but being pregnant does very strange things,

I am included in being one of those stange people, apparently,:laughing:

just be as supportive as you can be.

[aje001]

My DH says if I get pregnant again he is leaving town, he says he cant handle it, but being pregnant does very strange things.
Hmmm, I know that feeling :P

[Leisa21]

Hmmm, I know that feeling :P
In that case I'll invite my Greek Adonas(sp) boyfriend to keep me company while you sleep on Peters couch:p

As for the topic at hand you just need to be as compassionate as you can, but that doesnt mean she can treat you like cr@p (not saying she is) for 9 months. Hormones are no excuse for being a total nasty pasty! I know people that used pregnancy as an excuse to be mean but that just wrong!

[Tam-I-Am]

Quite possibly she's rapidly coming to the conclusion that in a very short amount of time, her life is going to irrevocably change, while yours, for the most part, will stay pretty much the same. She'll be at home with the baby which is a massive change for an independent career woman (if that's been her situation in the past), and while you'll be at home at night (one would assume!) you'll also get to 'escape to work' daily. That can seem not only daunting - but completely unfair. And its not as though you don't realise that before getting pregnant, but when you're actually doing it an essentially trapped - it can be incredibly scary and overwhelming.

She isn't being unreasonable, I don't think (not if she was anything like me when I was pregnant anyway), she's just not expressing her true fears very well. She wants to know that you're going to be there and support her no matter what....and that she's not making a big mistake - because there's sure no going back now.

Just talk to her. Let her talk to you. Don't be puzzled or tell her she's irrational. Sure as HECK don't tell her that she's being a hormonal pregnant woman...just do some work reassuring her that she's always going to have your support in raising your child and there are certain things (ie work) that you have to do, but you're going to be there for her too.

HTH :)

[reAllytee]

Quite possibly she's rapidly coming to the conclusion that in a very short amount of time, her life is going to irrevocably change, while yours, for the most part, will stay pretty much the same. She'll be at home with the baby which is a massive change for an independent career woman (if that's been her situation in the past), and while you'll be at home at night (one would assume!) you'll also get to 'escape to work' daily. That can seem not only daunting - but completely unfair. And its not as though you don't realise that before getting pregnant, but when you're actually doing it an essentially trapped - it can be incredibly scary and overwhelming.

She isn't being unreasonable, I don't think (not if she was anything like me when I was pregnant anyway), she's just not expressing her true fears very well. She wants to know that you're going to be there and support her no matter what....and that she's not making a big mistake - because there's sure no going back now.

Just talk to her. Let her talk to you. Don't be puzzled or tell her she's irrational. Sure as HECK don't tell her that she's being a hormonal pregnant woman...just do some work reassuring her that she's always going to have your support in raising your child and there are certain things (ie work) that you have to do, but you're going to be there for her too.

HTH :)

:iagree:

You start freaking out over so many things & realising how much life will change etc.

Seriously you have it easy ....

I used to threaten my DP with a knife nearly every nite if he dared to come home & try to tell me how 'bad' his day was while i was at home spewing my guts up & living in the bathroom !

I was especially vicious when pg with #2 to the point DP hardly said a word to me unless needed lmao .... Poor bugger !

[bigbadbrad]

So the news here is that it could be worse! Yikes!

It is worth noting that the guys have a much easier time of it BUTTTTT most guys are aware that babies will change their lifestyle but because the change for many guys is not huge compared to their partners they are not always aware of how this can impact emotionally.

Support Support Support is the way to go. Also it is REALLY important that you support her in the way she wants support NOT they way you think she needs it!

As mentioned her thinking is a little affected at the moment (ie not the same as you are used to). If you make a grand gesutre (like a weekend away) when all she wants is a cuddle when you get home so she has a chance to vent her frustration then she might still treat you like you don't support her and then you get annoyed because you have made a huge effort.

So the equation becomes:

Listen to Crackers wife + Support she asks for = less crackers wife

Good luck to all the Dads out their!

BBB

[Tam-I-Am]

So the equation becomes:

Listen to Crackers wife + Support she asks for = less crackers wife

:yes: Yup :D

[DadinDecember]

Oh it's the hormones alright!! it's like they get a fresh batch every few days!! lol by the way it's probably only gonna get worse.

[Ana Gram]

Pretty normal. I suggest you just agree with everything she says unless words such as fat, big, huge, side of a house come out of her mouth and then the answer is no.

[Lastcenturymum]

Awww BigBadBrad...great logon, and he's purple and he's logical and smart!! :shakehands:


PS - does your wife know your password? :p Just kidding!

[aje001]

Pretty normal. I suggest you just agree with everything she says unless words such as fat, big, huge, side of a house come out of her mouth and then the answer is no.
Whale is also a good one to disagree with...

[bigbadbrad]

Thanks Last century Mum

My wife does not have my password but she can go in and change it whenever she wants so I try to be nice to her (see even after their pregnant it happens)

BBB

[NibbleCurlynBub]

Oh my poor Brettles.. :(

I'll bet I seem like a total B!tch.

I am only around a month or two pregnant but I'm yelling at him and can't stand the smell of most things and I just feel overall awful.

I yelled at him twice this morning, once because he left water all over the bathroom floor and once because he had the fan on and the fan makes me cold. :hair:

Just a bit of consideration for the fact that she probably feels krappy and frustrated right now combined with letting her know you love her.

It won't last forever and she will get back to her normal self eventually.

[dangerman]

She is *very* independant and a free spirit and she is very strong willed which is why all I can do is nod & do as I'm told. Poor thing chucks up every night I dont have to make things extra tough on her.
Ok my 5 minutes internet time is up, better get back to work.

[aje001]

She is *very* independant and a free spirit and she is very strong willed which is why all I can do is nod & do as I'm told. Poor thing chucks up every night I dont have to make things extra tough on her.
Ok my 5 minutes internet time is up, better get back to work.
My wife is the same, very strong willed and knows what she wants. The problem is that when she was pregnant, I used to do EVERYTHING for her, and now she comes to expect it. We'll be sitting on the couch watching tv together and if she wants a drink, she expects me to get it for her. It was fine when she was pregnant, but it's a bit much now....

She is good to me though, so I suppose I shouldn't really complain...

[Leisa21]

She is good to me though, so I suppose I shouldn't really complain...
Damn straight, now get me my coffee:laughing:

[dangerman]

My wife is the same, very strong willed and knows what she wants. The problem is that when she was pregnant, I used to do EVERYTHING for her, and now she comes to expect it. We'll be sitting on the couch watching tv together and if she wants a drink, she expects me to get it for her. It was fine when she was pregnant, but it's a bit much now....

She is good to me though, so I suppose I shouldn't really complain...

So you wear the skirt around ther house hey? :D

I guess if it isnt an issue for you, whatever... In my place I still hold the remote controls, she still brings me my beer when I'm lying on the hammock on weekends, she even knows to wait until I'm gone to the pub to mow the lawns coz she knows the sound of the mower annoys me. But hey, not all of us a real men he he. Some of us are push-abouts, door mats, soft co..err... yeah softies.

I gotta go... now... to... get... my wife... err... myself... a footrub... no, a beer, uhm.... bye!