should I break it off?

[shellmabell]

hey single mummies,

I've been seeing a lovely guy for about 3 months now, my first dating experience since I split with my husband almost a year ago.
This guy is truly wonderful; gentle, patient, understanding, a great dad to his child, and totally mad about me it seems.
Problem is, as much as I like him, there is something that seems to be missing. I just don't think I can fall in love with him. He has all the qualities I want in a man but for some reason I just can't seem to feel anything more for him than just liking his company.
He has a few annoying little habits and I find myself wanting to break up with him for these trivial little issues and I think, am I being shallow? Are my standards too impossibly high? Am I going to be single forever because I will find fault with every guy I meet?
I think that maybe I'll stick with this guy a little longer and hope my feelings for him will grow, but I don't want to lead him on if I don'e end up falling for him. But then what if I break it off and never meet another man as great as him?

It is so confusing!! I wish I had no interest in men whatsoever so it could all be so much simpler but unfortunately I like them.... a lot....

Sorry bout the rambling I am just so confused

[OneBabyBoy]

Sounds like you might be overthinking it.
Just try to go with the flow and see what happens.
He sounds wonderful :) so just enjoy it !!

[shellmabell]

Sounds like you might be overthinking it.
Just try to go with the flow and see what happens.
He sounds wonderful :) so just enjoy it !!


My god that's what everyone says! And I agree that I should just relax and enjoy it.
But how can you not overthink it when you've got kiddies and an ex-husband and so much else to consider?

[trouble]

who cares about your ex husband???

You shouldnt be, not with this I dont think,

Yes you need to be thinking with you children in any situation like this, :yes:

But I agree, dont stress about it, just forget about things, and enjoy yourself.

who knows what will happen, it has only been 3 months.

I thought DH was a full on idiot, when I met him, really didnt like him, and use to look at him with more discust on my face than anything else.

And yeas, I love him to bits now, and still think he is an idiot somethimmes, and still look at him with discust sometimes.

Dont know what changed but something did. I love him now.

[KimmyGrace]

Having been in that situation I say that if your not completely into this guy in a romantic way, you should definitely go very slow. I remember when I first found myself as a single mother I had a mind set of 'not many other guys would want to date someone with a child...' and looking back I was settling for someone who was great, but not someone I could really completely fall for. I'm holding out for that now. I just think in the first few months of a relationship, you should be in that honeymoon phase of totally goofy love and if it's still just feeling like a good friendship, I think it's either the wrong guy or the wrong time.

But then again, there is also wisdom in just taking it easy and going with the flow. But don't take that too far in the other direction and settle for a relationship that isn't really your ideal. x

[shellmabell]

Thanks Kimmy, I am with you on the romance thing. I do want to feel like that again, but I am scared of falling in love in that helpless way and losing control of my emotions. I think that if I really do relax and just enjoy my time with him (tho still taking things pretty slow) then I will stop thinking so much about the pros and cons and maybe I will be able to fall in love with him. As I said before, he really is a great guy.

well thanks everyone for your advice. I am going to continue seeing him because I really do enjoy his company, but I will take things slowly still and let things happen naturally.
Fingers crossed it all goes well ;)