Want more but maybe can't - Vent

[Tam-I-Am]

I don't even know why I'm writing this now. I guess I came across other people's threads about wanting/not wanting more babies, and it got me thinking. I always wanted more babies, although I'm very happy with my little family at the moment. But I was so sick after Claire was born - Sorry if this is TMI but I bled for 17 weeks, had infection after infection for them to finally (!) do a d+c for removal of retained products. And I don't know how or if this had affected my fertility.

I might be stressing over nothing, and DH certainly seems to think that this is the case, but I would be so devastated if I couldn't have any more children, and because of a hospital stuff up - I've since requested my files thru freedom of information - and the hospital had an ultrasound done on me three days postpartum which clearly shows retained product. I know that they couldn't do anything about it until I was 6 weeks post - but surely they should have followed up on it? It took me bugging them over and over again until they even agreed to do the d+c because "oh, we're sure that that's not causing any problems" (WTF?!?).

I really sad, and angry and overall quite scared that Claire might be it - and I could cope with that, I really could - but its not fair if the choice has been taken away from me.

[Mittys]

Tami,

OMG! You had such a rough time after the birth of your first....I can't imagine what it must have been like. Thankfully you have a beautiful dd to hold in your arms at the end of the day. What has your OB said about conceiving, carrying and deliverying another baby? I would try to get as much information that you can, getting second and third opinions and even visiting specialist if need be to find the answers you need to be comfortable with your decision. I think having more information will ease your mind if you are considering expanding your family now or even in the future. Goodluck...hope this helps?:o:o :o

Erica 35
dh Todd 35
dd Madison 6
ds Brady 3
ttc # 3

[the_queen]

You said you don't yet know how or if this has affected your fertility? It's really apparent that it's affecting you as a person though, it's obviously worrying and upsetting to you. So, find out about the fertility side of things, if for no other reason than to set your mind at ease. See a fertility specialist and get checked out, get some definite answers so that you are not anxious about the "what if's".

:hugs:

[Pixie]

wow you poor thing :hugs: I know how you feel I actually spent part of last night up worrying about the same thing.

Sounds like you need to talk to a reliable dr get some answers. And seek some kind of closure or answers as to why they did nothing!

Can I ask how did you get your notes as I want my theatre notes and not sure how to go about it.
:hugs:

[MummyCharmzy]

hey, I had problems with bleeding after my first, had 14 weeks of bleeding and similar things to you it seems but since then had my daughter and am now 30 weeks pregnant again so it definitely didn't affect my fertility!

Definitely go talk to your doctor about this though, they are the only one that can truly advise you and reassure you hopefully!

Best of luck,
Charmaine

[Tam-I-Am]

Thanks guys for your support. I'm going to make an appointment to see my GP in a couple of weeks first off. I did ask the OB who did the d+c what affect the probs would have on my fertility - he just sort of didn't really answer me, he kinda sai "Oh, I don't think that will be a problem, I mean, it could cause problems, but who know. Okay...so you're booked in for 8am" - he didn't really answer me, and I wasn't feeling strong enough to push him at the time. I wish I had been now!

Devon Mouse - I read what an awful time you and DH had when you had Eliza, and I really feel for you. If you want to access your records, contact the Freedom of Information Officer at the hospital where you had her (just call reception and ask for the FOI officer - they'll put you through) - tell them that you want a COPY of your records (they will let you come in and flip through them without taking a copy - but there has to be a doctor present to answer any of your questions, and they bill you by the half hour for the doctors time!). They will probably send you some forms, and you may have to pay some money for them - from memory it cost me $60 plus 0.10c per page of photocopying which ended up costing about $25 so $85 in total. Hope this helps.

[Blessed Mum]

Wow what a terrible thing you went through Tami. I think you should see a specialist asap to discuss your concerns & history & let them take it from there. Don't wait too long as time may count - I know for a friend of mine it did. She suffered something similar to you but waited two years before biting the bullet & is now enduring the trials of IVF. So please get it sorted out for your own peace of mind & then see where things lie.

Cheers Tara:)