Navy partners advice please?!!!

[kath5219]

Hey ladies
Been a while since i was in here-been flat out.
Last time i was in here DP was looking into the Army but since his YOU/JOEs day he is going with the Navy as ultimately thats going to lead him to the job he really does want.
SO!!! I know they are away a lot and all that but can any of you give me an idea of what its really like! Dont hold back im not scared of it! I have been a single mum of three for some time before i met him so i know how to handle the crew on my own! Just wanna know more of a wifes view then what the web sites say!
He sent off his application papers yesterday so now we are just waiting for an interview date. He is at risk of not getting in due to some drug use in his past but we were upfront and honest about it all and hope that works in our favour!

Thanks
K

[sis]

Ive been with my hubby for 6 years and his only been to sea for 6weeks!

It really depends on what area his working in.
DH is an ATV (fixes choppers) and he was at a squadron of dud choppers that took him nowhere. He than went on to do HUET instructing for 12months and has just been posted back to an operational squadron. His been told he is a priority for sea but just has to wait for a flight to come up

[MrsPee]

Hi,

as sis said it really does depend on what he will be doing as to what time he will spend at sea. My DH is a MT and in this calender year he will have spent 28 weeks of that at sea. BUT next calender year he could only spend half that again or even more, it depends on what sort of ship and its movements within the fleet.

As for being on your own, well like you said you can handle the kids as you have been a single mum before and from someone that has also been a single mum, I do really think that it helps you cope in the early days. iykwim

Life as a Navy wife is like anything, it is what you make of it. I get cranky at times because we cant really plan things to far in advance and until we have been given the ok but you get use to it and I am always reminding myself that it is not DH that is doing this but the Gov.
It sucks when they are always changing things and they do that alot but I am told it is just a defence thing and not only Navy.

The best advice that we were given and so far is working for us is that EVERYTIME he comes home from a stint at sea over two weeks, take some time out for yourselves. Farm the kids out or go and stay somewhere over night to just re-connect with each other and do it as soon as he gets home and not weeks later.

goodluck

[Seacretsquirrel]

I have been with my DH for 5 years and he has been in for almost 7 (we got married 4 years to the day that he passed out of recruit school (so no excuse for forgetting our anniversary). I must admit that it is hard but as others have said it is what you make it, if you can be flexible and go with the flow a bit then you will survive and even thrive!

The sea time is hard and you are like a single mum (my hat goes off to those of you out there who do it everyday) but you cope, My DD is still little and so she doesn't really understand too much and as her routine doesn't really change whether DH is here or not life is fairly easy for her, I do have GF's with older kids who realise what it means when daddy is gone and it is harder but as they get older again it gets better as they understand more.

You learn coping mechanisms that get you through, do what works for you.
For me the sea time means more time alone but a much happier DH when he is home - he loves being at sea (he is a Leading seaman - Bosun's Mate) but the perks of extra money and travel allowances make it easier to cope as I don't have to stress too much if i call my mum everynight and run up the phone bills :o and I can fly back to Qld if I am struggling too badly.
Friends you make in the services (other wives and GFs) help too as they know what you are going though and I must admit Bub hub has been a god send too.

I am sure you will cope brilliantly good luck and if you have any Q's ask or PM me!:hugs:

[kath5219]

Thanks guys. He is applying for Marine Technician. Quite a few ppl have said we shouldnt get our hopes up cause of his past and that as a result they will prob grill him pretty hard in the psych evaluation but its just a wait n see game now i spose.

[porridge]

hey Kath this is a good thread for me too :) DH just sent his transfer papers off today so hoping things will happen soon...

what websites have you been looking at?

[mummyof5]

I actually found keeping duties to be a bigger pain than deployments at times in my DH's younger days. You would be all happy the ship was alongside, only to discover the day you had plans for was the day he was duty...bugger! He is a Cheif now, so only keeps duties at sea when on a sea going ship.
The other thing that is most annoying is going to family/friends events on your own, though you may be used to that already by the sounds of it. I can do day in, day out, but coming back from a family BBQ or something when you are already sad that your DH isn't there, with tired feral kids to sort out by yourself is the pits.

[KJEmum]

DH has been in for 18yrs ish and I've been his girl for 15 of those. I think it's a good lifestyle cos we get to live in other states. As you've been a single mum you'll probably be an ideal canidate as a Navy wife / partner.

You have to be selfless at times like for me now my DH is in Hawaii playing wargames with other Navys ..it's his very first overseas trip so is very happy about that and I am too. It's a great experience for him. I would dearly love to be there with the kids and experience this too but oh well, it's not to be. It's hard being home with 3kids although 2 are at school but the discipline side of things, it gets exhausting. I feel I'm growing apart from my 9yo cos she's been a right little witch but after yesterday of a bit of fortune, we went out and spent some $$ on some small items and she made a promise to be on her best behaviour from now forever lol.

My DH has a career in the Navy, not just a job. He's milked it for all it's worth, done courses to better his prospects for when he discharges and done all the **** that gets given out cos he knows it'll be to his advantage later. He's got a good reputation in comms.
He's a lifer and I'll be toddling around after him. I've also had the luxury of being a SAHM which I seriously doubt would happen if he wasn't in the ADF, I find this a great benefit to my kids to be there for them in sickness and school holidays and assemblies and whatever the school wants me to attend. So although DH is away on and off, my kids still have a mum they can rely on :)