Do you think parents influence whether or not children enjoy school?

[Hollywood]

When I was in primary school, my parents weren't really too worried about my grades or anything like that, they just made sure I was happy and that I at least finished my homework.

They never pressured me to be particularly academic. In some ways I sort of wished they had just a little bit, because I did pretty average at school and always hated homework (though I always did really well at spelling, grammar and English, oh and I loved geography too).

I got qualifications in Real Estate, and that's where I ended up, and did ok money wise, but I sometimes wonder if things had been different if my parents had been a bit more encouraging of my academic life.

My dad's side of the family are very 'white collar' and my dad and his uncles are all very bright (he's an accountant and his three brothers consist of a doctor, a QC, and a real estate broker). On the other hand my mum's side is very blue collar.

Do you know of children who excelled at school despite their parents? Or maybe because of their parents? Do you think we have an influence on our children's like or dislike of school? Or do some of them just love it no matter what?

Am very interested to hear what you think :)

[poshBecks]

Actually, come to think of it...

Most of the really smart people I know (with fancy jobs -like my DH lol) all had parents who I guess pushed them that way.

Some were really strict, others were a little more laid back.

My parents didn't push me academically. I did ok at school. Fairly average I suppose. BUt I enjoyed school. I am happy with how my life turned out.

I guess my mum was stict about my attendance at school. I was never allowed to miss a day unless I was sick. And I had to be pretty sick!! But as long as I passed my subjects she was happy :) I like that!

[Blessed2X]

Being a former high school teacher, I would have to say that how a child view of education is greatly influenced by the parents. I have seen students who are successful in academics b/c of the positive support from the parents but I have also seen some students who still do well despite this. Now the key is positive support b/c some parents put too much pressure and then the opposite happens. I remember one student of mine who is very bright but decided one year to slack off b/c of the tremendous pressure being put on him to graduate with A's. He did just enough to get his diploma.

From personal experience, my brothers and I were greatly pressured to do well in school. We all graduated from grad school except for one of my brothers. He rebelled. I don't know whether or not it is b/c he got the guts to rebel against my parents (they were very strict disciplinaries) or b/c he just wasn't academically inclined and did not like school. In fact it was my parents that pressured me into a teaching career. After 6 yrs of it, I decided that teaching wasn't for me and went back to school.

So I think that although the parents have influence on a child, it is ultimately the child that determines whether or not he/she wants to succeed academically.

I think that it helps that the parents instill a love for lifelong learning (and reading) in the child at a young age and hope that this will carry on.

Mimi

[Benji]

Definitely! I think once they hit a certain age peers can have a lot of negative influence though, unfortunately.

When I was growing up my dad was very academically minded - he would teach me all sorts of different languages before I even started primary school and I did reasonably well in school and college because he gave me the passion for it.

My brother, on the other hand, was born incredibly bright - very mechanically minded - and yet he did very badly at school because he was more focused on his friends and mucking around with computers than school (but he still went on to get the job he wanted).

[Hollywood]

From personal experience, my brothers and I were greatly pressured to do well in school. We all graduated from grad school except for one of my brothers. He rebelled. I don't know whether or not it is b/c he got the guts to rebel against my parents (they were very strict disciplinaries) or b/c he just wasn't academically inclined and did not like school. In fact it was my parents that pressured me into a teaching career. After 6 yrs of it, I decided that teaching wasn't for me and went back to school.

Yeah, that's what I am very conscious of with DS (for the future that is, he's still so little at only 17 months). I want to encourage him to develop a love for learning and reading, but I don't want to place undue pressure on him and cause him to rebel.

It's good to hear a teacher's perspective, thanks! :thumbsup:

[danik]

Even now I'm instilling into DD that learning is fun. I never had the support or encouragement to further myself at school as my mum and I had a very rocky relationship. This led to me playing up at school and not applying myself. But now I love learning and gaining knowledge about things and that will impact DD's way of thinking.

When DD and I drive past the local primary school I always tell her that's where kids go to do fun things like learning to read, write and count. I'm not going to pressure DD to be "the smartest" but I will encourage and support her to learn.