Is my hubby an alcoholic?

[3boys1girl]

HI Guys
I have a problem and I dont know who else to turn to as I dont really want to discuss it with anyone I know unless I have to!
My hubby I think has a drinking problem. Hes not a full on alcholic, he doesnt have to get up every morning and have a drink.
He like to have a few drinks at night to "unwind", but those few drinks turns into 3,4,5,6 drinks.
I have had to stop him during the week night drinking becuase I felt he was drinking to much and I told him I married the sober him and not the drunk him ( he is a differnt guy as all people are when they drink)
Because I have stopped him drinking during the week he has become sneaky about it.
I went for a ultrasound a couple of weeks ago (for medical reasons, so he didnt come) He had to mind the kids so he came home from work and in his bag he snuck in 4 stubbies of wild turkey. If any of you guys know wild turkey then u would know it is a very strong drink and having 4 stubbies is like having 8 normal drinks.
Anyway... I went for my u/s and was gone for 1 hr and by the time I got home he was stubling around and slirring his words. He had drank all 4 drinks in 3/4 of a hour!!
I left my 11 year old , my 7 year old and my 11mth old in his care!
I couldnt belive
1) he would decive me and go behind my back and
2) he would put my kids in danger!
I almost left him that night about 3 weeks ago. Then I find out last night while I was at work that he had 1 wild turkey and 1 beer and was going for the red wine, but because one of the kids got hurt and he actually thought to himself what was he doing, he stopped before he drank the whole bottle.
The fight we had 3 weeks ago I almost left him and its like he totally forgot about that fight and everything I said to him about looking after the kids and drinking while im not here went in one ear and out the other!:banghead:
He is truley sorry and wants to get help, he told me he has already been on AA's website today and is going to ring them and get help.
Its just that im sick of hearing that he is sorry and then he turns around and does it again a couple of weeks later.
I told him I wont leave the kids in his care anymore because I cant trust him and I will have to give up work because i dont want to leave them at home, we will be in finacial trouble then.
I just dont know what to do! I love the guy to bits, but I dont trust him and what is a marriage if u dont trust someone?
I already am divorced from a guy that gambled that I couldnt trust, I dont want to be divorced again!
I have to work this afternoon and I will have to lock up the alcohol in the house so I know my kids will be safe! I shouldnt have to do that!
Sorry this is so long guys
Thanks for taking the time to read it!

[Funkychicken]

Hi Cherie,
This is such a confusing issue for the partner of an alcoholic. The trust that is continually broken, the broken promises etc.. And you find it hard/impossible to understand WHY he does this after saying he won't.
You said in your post he is not a full-on alcoholic. There is no such thing as a little bit or part time alcoholic. You either are one or you are not. Just as you cannot be 'a little bit pregnant' nor can you be a little bit alcoholic. Alcoholism is a progressive disease-yes it is a disease, not a condition by choice-thet only continues to get worse. No alcoholic started in the parks and gardens. They were once regular members of society who just can't stop drinking. No alcoholic gets up in the morning and says to themselves, " I think I'll drink enough today so that I am so drunk I'll belt my wife, abuse the kid's, crash the car, wet my pants and throw up in my bed. But the sad reality is that this is what happens when an alcoholic pours alcohol into their system. They cannot stop at one drink. There is a saying amongst sober alcoholics "One is too many and 100 is not enough". Ask any practising alcoholic which drink it was that did the damage and they will probably say it was the 10th or the 17th or the 20th. This is not the case-it is the first drink that does the damage because after the first, will always follow the 2nd, 3rd, 4th etc...
My heart really goes out to you as this is one of the hardest situations any partner can find themselves in and time goes on and you pray every day that today will be the day he/she doesn't get drunk and if they go a day without adrink, you start thinking, maybe he/she is not too bad after all. All the things that alcoholics have not done, such as drive drunk, physically or verbally abuse someone, kill someone whilse drink driving in a black-out, wet/soil their pants/bed, throw up in public are called YETS. They haven't happened-yet. And they will happen eventually unless the person chooses to get sober. One of the harshest realitys of an alcoholics life is that they will end up in one of four places-gaol, the pysch ward, in the ground or they will get sober. There are no other options for an alcoholic.

The only advice I can offer you is to call al-anon and speak with them. They are the first and best point of contact for a partner or family member of someone who you suspect is an alcoholic. I'll pm you with some details.

:hugs: to you hon, I can empathise with you.

[Jem]

Sal008, youve nailed it on the head there hun... word for word...
i can also empathise, :hugs:
please know that we are here if you ever need to talk.
Al-Anon is a brilliant idea... they teach you how to take control of your own life, and focus on yourself and your children.
I know you must care deeply for your partner, and realisticly at the end of the day, you can take a horse to water, but you cant make it drink.
he has to come to the realisation himself.. and he may not have hit his rock bottom yet.
The Alcoholic is so selfish, and so consumed in there disease, it becomes so hurtful to you, becuause you just cant understand why they are doing it to themselves, And rather then feed there addiction, and go around in circles with them, You need to look after yourself, and learn that You can only take control of your life... regardless of what your partner chooses to do.

Im still dealing with this on a daily basis, because alcoholism is a disease, its there for the rest of there life.
the battle is on-going, theres bad days and good days.
I really feel for you :hugs:
If you ever want to chat.. dont hesitate to pm me, or add me to msn
:fingerscrossed:

[moonblossom]

Yes he is, Sorry :crying:

[3boys1girl]

Thanks for your input guys. I have since called a counsellor and we saw him last night. He suggested al anon as well so there is a meeting this friday which i will go to. My hubby said he had hes "awaking" and says he is going cold turkey.
Time will tell if we make this marriage work or if he goes back to his old ways. Hopefully things work out:fingerscrossed:
Thanks again

[cjb/jbvd]

i'm so happy that you two have tried to make it together. the fact that he's at least willing to admit he has a problem is the best start you two could have made. i wish my ex was as brave and as much of a man as your DH. good luck to you both. i hope it works out for you. :D