CC - when is the last feed then before U dont feed them at night? [Archive]

mickeymouse

21-07-2008, 08:41

IM in the thows of serious sleep dep -
The whole home is in a state & I have just about had enough - My 4 year old is being disturbed - I think I got 30mns sleep last night -
The thought of leaving my 6 month old daughter to cry is really making me so sad - but I am at my wits end - everything in my life is suffering - a sleep school isnt an option as DH works long long hours - cant even drop DS at kindy & we do not have the support around us -

When do I last feed her before I say - ok - no more - and do the settling - U see yest for example she hardly drank through the entire day :no: - ate very well though - so through the night - she woke & fed at 8pm - 10.30pm - 1.30am - 3.30am - IM A MORON I KNOW
Im so tired & upset -
:(

so is like the 10pm feed for example the last one then thats that - my daughter is HUGE - def wouldnt hurt her to miss a feed - The crying in the early hours is just so awful & we live in a unit so thats alot of stress on me as I worry about the neighbours

drewid

21-07-2008, 09:01

When I started trying to cut back night feeding, I went with the early morning one - so the 1.30 one. It only took a few nights, it just seemed to be a habit to wake at that time, even when he wasn't hungry. Just cuddles until he settled.

You are NOT a moron...when you are sleep deprived, the EASIEST thing is to feed them...you know it works, its relatively quick, so you do it.

mickeymouse

22-07-2008, 09:51

thx for the support -
I called tresillian ( sydney sleep school ) and they are so wonderful -
I only had to get up for her at midnight - BIG feed then again at 5am - mini feed - so so happy -
Its hard when U have another sibling though to keep in the routine -
Man its hard

Lucky they are cute -
DS was on the sofa last night - DH was on the other sofa - I was in the bed :yelclap: so at least I got some sleep - we moved DS back into his bed at 5am when Amy woke & It breaks my heart as he is SO happy to be in his bed - Once she sleeps better i know they can sleep in the same room again - its more important to me that he doesnt have broken sleep all night - he needs 12+ hours at the mo

Lordy - pls send us all sleep tonight x

Lilyloo

23-07-2008, 21:11

When we were having the exact same problems with our DD at 6 months, we were lucky enough to have a sleep specialist in who reassured me that at 6 months, if they are on 3 solid meals a day, they are able to go the night without a milk feed. So we cut back on 4 night feeds, to 1 at 7pm, then bed, then no more milk until 4:30am-6am...

So when she woke during the night, instead of giving her the breast (which is what she wanted and which was what was causing and creating the habit) I would just go in and resettle her.

Sure, easier said than done!!! i know!!

But you have to perserve, be consistant and try not to give in. They do learn quickly, and after a few nights, our DD was waking, but putting herself back to sleep, without needed a feed!!

Good luck, there is nothing worse than sleep deprivation! Hope you have a good night tonight!!. :hugs:

mickeymouse

24-07-2008, 06:50

Thank u for your words of support - I APPRECIATE them -Last night DD woke at 10.30pm - fed - so then it would be perfect to leave her through the night - she isnt feeding that well through the day so the clinic told me to still give her only one bottle at night ( pref before midnight ) to help her -
then she woke at 1.30am off i go - into the kitchen to get the bottle - U know I almost felt ashamed - ashamed that Im too much of a wimp to try & let her get through it - I wish I would just do it - ITS honestly the fact that we live in a unit & I worry bout the noise - a few nights of noise though has got to be better than my life at the mom - Im so tired :no:

Have a good day x

sweetsugardumplin'

28-07-2008, 22:36

:hugs: to you.

It's hard I know, could your DH help in regards to resettling? Often bubs associate mum with boob or bottle, so when you go in she expects the good stuff!

I went to sleep school with DS, and for the first two nights, the middies would settle bub - so he wouldn't smell my milk and want some, it took him three nights to sleep through.:smiliedance:

But I do recognise it's so much easier in that environment, I also have a DD who is seven months old and had just progressed from feeding two hourly night and day, to three hours gaps during the day and feeding twice and night. (again we went to sleep school) :rolleyes:

I do hope you can get some sleep, maybe talk to your neighbours and explain what's going on - people can be very understanding:yes:

Could you attend a day stay sleep clinic? You could pop your DS into occasional care for the day or maybe ask one of the other kinder mums if they could mind him for the day?

Good Luck :fingerscrossed: :hugs:

mickeymouse

30-07-2008, 07:51

hello -

No good news here unfort - Amy has a bad cold so all attempts to sleep are gone - I did call the local baby clinic though to get an appointment - 1 months time - great eh?? NOT

Im so down - so low - I even said to my DH the other night that I think I might be getting depressed & his reply " well I would be - doing what u do all day - stuck in here - no sleep "
Gee that helped NOT

DS was crying in his sleep last night cause he isnt in his bed - I dont know what 2 do anymore I really dont -
Im at my wits end -
11pm feed - 1.15am feed - wake at 3am - 4am - 5am
( 4am & 5am I just ignored her but U cant sleep through it - she is so loud - doesnt cry - Just chats away )

Im just in a sh*t place
This will pass I know - but its terribly hard & I am SO jealous of people that have family support around them -

Ignore me - Im in a bad mood

Lordy Im tired :no:

rynosmum

30-07-2008, 08:06

I couldn't read your post and not reply. I too have a 4 year old DS and a now 3 month old DD.

Firstly for your DS, it sounds like you have 2 bedrooms? One for you and hubby and one for the kids? For the sake of at least getting your DS to sleep properly (and saving you some of the stress or guilt of having him out of his bed) could you move his mattress into your bedroom? That way, DH and DS can try to get a good night sleep in there.

Unfortunately the cold is going to mean that it really is hard to keep Amy settled. I've only had a couple of nights like you have every night :hugs: but I understand how hard it must be for you. When they get all snuffly, they are so unsettled. Last night my DD was unsettled for the evening as she is also a bit snuffly. I put her to bed at 10, was up from 12-1, up again from 4-5 and up again at 6.

I guess the only saving grace is that in the mornings she is chattering rather than crying but it still doesn't help if you can't get sleep. Is there anyway that you can go to bed early (like 8pm) and at least get some early sleep? That's what I try to do (although not last night) and it sometimes helps.

I hope your day improves and by some miracle you can get the two kids to nap at the same time so you can get a half hour power nap.:hugs: Will be thinking of you today - lack of sleep is such a debilitating thing.

DALLASMUM

30-07-2008, 14:15

you poor thing, i know exactly how you feel, i have a six and a half month old who refuses to sleep for more than two hours at a time. he sleeps in our room coz we have two older kids- a boy and a girl in the other bedrooms. i feel like im just coping- the house is suffering .... i just dont have the energy. im a grump with the other kids all the time, we dont have a sex life, im just to tired. i keep saying i just need a nights sleep but i think i need a whole day and night. DS is still BF and refuses to drink from a bottle, not even BM so im really stuck. i think im going to try controlled crying but i have the flu so im really not up to it at the moment maybe over the weekend when DH is home. any way i guess im just telling you this so you know you arent all alone- DS is asleep now so i mite take a nap myself. im always on here if you ever need anyone to talk to i know what its like to have no support

Trish

soon2Bmum22

30-07-2008, 14:27

Hi, I had the same prob with my DD. She was waking up and using the breast to get back to sleep. I decided that enough was enough and so I refused to get up to her when she cried at night. I would lie there looking at the clock saying to myself - 'if she is still crying in 15mins I'll go in, and nine times out of ten she would be asleep. Now she is two I do get up to her if she calls out but now she can say what is wrong so that is lovely. I am expecting no 2 in december and am not looking foward to that six month age and trying not to wake up DD. Good luck - and remember if DH can't hear your daughter crying your neighbours aren't going to hear much - if anything.

mickeymouse

31-07-2008, 09:50

hello & thank u for the words of support - we all sound tired :no:
I am looking like **** - its taking its toll -
My son was very sick through the night he has a bad cough & i had him in bed with me - then when my hubby got home at 10pm ( his ute broke down - dont even get me started on that ******* ute ) he took Caleb onto the sofa with him - I took him to the GP this morn & they reckon its just a bad cold - I dont know - if he isnt better tomorrow im going to take him back - he has been coughing for a week but last night he was up nearly all night -
he went to kindy though as his best mate was there & he was too upset at the thought of not seeing him -
Amy slept from 6.30pm - woke at 9.30pm fed - then at 12.30am fed - woke at 3am I ignored her - then woke at 5am -
she went back down after some weetbix at 9am - wouldnt normally be awake that long but we were running around with the boy this morn -
I just want them to sleep in the same room so badly
:(

Baldie's Mum

31-07-2008, 10:06

Hi there chicken! I am sorry you are having a horrible time. I am also in sydney and i would like to let you know that i can help. :yes: Please PM me if you want to. xoxoxo :hugs:

I hope you get your sleep soon! :D

*AINS*

mickeymouse

01-08-2008, 07:31

midnight -feed - wakes at 3am - I just TRY and ignore her - hubby & son are also awake now as she is so loud - this goes til 4am and she is getting very upset so I go in & pick her up & she throws her little arms around my neck & just hugs me & is sobbing - :no:Just about BROKE my heart - so of course I fed her & she went back to sleep til 6.15am - U see if she woke at 4am then I would feed her as thats close to normal wake at 5am - BUT NOT 3am - and also I fed her at midnight so I know she wasnt REALLY hungry at 3am
Im so tired - and feel terrible

what on earth am I going to do??

mickeymouse

04-08-2008, 06:17

MissSookyLaLa

14-08-2008, 22:06

hows it all going now?

Opaque

17-08-2008, 10:49

been AWAKE since 2am - its now 6.15am - AMy woke at 2am & I fed her - then she went back to sleep for all of 20mns & then she chats & chats & yells and yells & chats
DH snorning -
I couldnt sleep - I think IM starting to lose my mind - seriously -
DH then gets me out of bed at 5am as he has to go to work & I am looking down the rest of the day - 13 hours until he gets home again
I cant believe that someone can survive on no sleep
I ignored Amy - didnt go in etc - but she still chats & yells - what on earth do i do?

Just thought you could try what I had to do in the beginning to get some sleep. It is ONLY appropriate if you aren't breast feeding.

I just couldn't sleep at night when my baby was born (postnatal depression was part of the cause..) and my Mum went to the chemist and just got me some over the counter sleeping tablets called Restavit. It was just enough to get me off to sleep, I would take one tablet (dosage is 1-2 per night) and would not hear my baby unless he was crying for me. That might help you sleep when she is chatting in her sleep, I know it is very hard but when she is chatting away, she is happy and doesn't need you. Just try and tune out - I know from experience this is easier said than done. It took me ages to get use to "tuning out" unless he was crying. But now it works like a charm. In saying that, my little man is 1 and still waking up through the night.

Good Luck!!

mickeymouse

18-08-2008, 07:06

hello -
thx for your words CoreysMummy so sorry that U suffered with PND :no:
My son didnt sleep through til he was 1 ( now 4 ) but he was an easier bubby & needed his dummy back in or a quick drink of water
Last night Amy woke at 10.30pm - fed - then woke at 1.30am ( ???????????????:confused:)
I let her go for an HOUR - chatting away etc etc then she started to REALLY CRY - i let this go for 15-20mn - my hubby ( and all our neighbours Im sure ) were well awake so I felt so bad for her & them - I mean its 2am by now & she started chatting at 1am - so i fed her & then she slept & woke at 5am.

She has just gone back to sleep at 7am
I dont know what to do - i mean yes - let her cry - but man she gets seriously loud - I mean even DH who doesnt worry about the neighbours was worried cause at 2am on a mon morn its hard -
Man - she wasnt letting up - i guess i should have just let her cry ??

Freaking hell Im over it :no:

Phyllis Stein

18-08-2008, 13:33

It truly doesn't sound like CC is working for you, and regardless, what you are doing is more CIO, as you're leaving her for such a long period without comfort. 6 months is the minimum age at which CC is considered ok, and even then, it is advised to keep the time left crying to a few minutes only, before you provide comfort. 20 minutes of crying alone is like an eternity to a young baby.

Rather than persevere with it, and perhaps ending up with an overstressed, unhappy baby, while not getting any extra sleep yourself, have you considered a different approach? I'm guessing Amy is starting to associate sleep with stress and fear, so perhaps she actually needs more comfort and security, not less? Perhaps a few weeks of you being more responsive to her cries will make her feel more secure to get through the lighter sleep phases she goes through, without waking fully up.

Also, it's actually quite normal (though inconvenient) for a baby her age to wake up multiple times a night. They have much lighter sleep than adults (which is a survival advantage), so they do rouse much more easily. Developmentally, they also require food throughout the night for a while, and experience hunger pangs as quite distressing feelings.

I highly recommend you read the book by Elizabeth Pantley, The No Cry Sleep Solution.

Good luck.

mickeymouse

19-08-2008, 07:12

mahna mahna
hi
I always always seem to so this in posting so I understand why people freak out & think OMG how can U do that to a young baby - we didnt actually leave her to cry & cry for 15-20mns - I meant to post that by the 20mns of the starting to cry she was in full flight - I wouldnt leave her for more than 4mns - ever -
But I never make my posts clear as im tired so I know why people freak out.
She is a very happy not stressed at all baby and I do look after her & her crying all the time - I dont leave her to get distressed - As for CC - im not even really doing it - more the fact that we both hate to hear her - more the neighbours - Its hard and yes she is still 7 months old & young - I just wonder why i know other bubbys that are sleeping throiugh & Have been for months!:sleeping:
As for the need for food i dont think they do - not when they are on 3 + meals a day & many liquids I dont think they need anymore food & our GP & Pediatrician has told me this.
I appreciate your advice -
I just got the book BABIES by Dr C Green on a recommendation -
Anyway -
I have been awake since 4am - she started her day at 4am ??
After waking at 12.30am
So DH & I had a cracker of a morn - Then she went back to sleep at 5am -
She didnt want to feed at 4am & was happy to chew on her toys -

Its a very early start when U are up a few times a night

Much X

Opaque

20-08-2008, 12:47

mickeymouse

I really feel for what you are going through :hugs:I am the WORST mother ever when I get my sleep interupted. THE BIGGEST BI*CH EVER to EVERYONE!! So you are doing MUCH MUCH better than some mum's would cope!

I did controlled crying with my baby from about 3-4wks - only when he was going to bed at night. I would put him in there awake and if he would cry I would soothe him (not pick him up and cuddle though, just stroke him and speak softly) and put his dummy back in. For atleast 3wks if not maybe a bit longer (all fuzzy from the PND) he would cry on & off for about an hour (with me soothing during this time) and he would end up putting himself asleep.

I think because I perservered during the early days is why he learned to self soothe and put himself to sleep early on and first slept through at 4wks. From 2wks I had him down to one feed a night but I would "Dream Feed" him when I was ready to go to bed.

Even now (he is 1 tomorrow) I still "Dream Feed" him. But he is starting to wean himself from that - the last few nights he just flat out refuses to drink. Last night he woke me about 10.30pm with a small cry so I got up and checked him, back asleep by the time I got back in there. Just get to sleep again - then full on crying!!! So up I get with the bottle and try and feed him - NO GOOD, flatly refuses so I put him back in his cot with his teddie and didn't hear from him til 6am.

Teeth can make them FERAL at night! Even though DS slept through from 8wks he started waking again at 4 months (TEETH!!!) and now we rarely have a full sleep through night because he is cutting teeth again! Has 8, and working on Molars but they are up and down, up and down (been up and down since 6 months!!!), this time three are up at once poor little bugger.

Maybe try some Nurofen or Panadol, she could just be waking from pain?

ANYTHING IS WORTH TRYING!!! :confused:

Good Luck that is all I can think of at the moment... :ecomcity:

mickeymouse

21-08-2008, 07:07

Opaque

22-08-2008, 08:16

thanks for the lovely words xxxxxxxxxxx:thumbsup:
well we have started ............

Tues night - after i spent 1.5 hours with the clinic nurse here at the local baby clinic - she told me to put bub to bed at 7pm & thats that!
My issue is that Amy is still refusing the bottle a bit through the day - the nurse said " tough !" when I asked her this - I wish I could be that tough!!!:)
Anyway I fed her at 9.30pm on the tues night & she had 220ml - woke at 1am - and cried on & off with me going in etc etc for 1.5 hours. No feeds.

last night I fed her at 10pm - 220ml - she woke at 3.30am - I went in etc every 5mn 10mn etc etc she seemed very upset though & me going in seems to make it worse ??

Anyway she stopped at 4.30am so an hour -

Lets hope I can keep this up & it works - Just wish that I could put her down at 7pm & that was that - If I could get a bottle into her b4 then - then I wouldnt feed her again

any thoughts ? XXX

Could you husband/partner go in and settle her back down at nights. I know this is tough if he has to work but she might only be playing up for Mummy. They are usually pretty quick to adapt if a strict regiment is set in place like the nurse is suggesting - it is just the "being tough" is the very very hard bit. I think Mum's are just programmed to feel guilt if our child is anything but a smiling, happy little angel.

I know I feel like such a ***** when I am trying to get DS to do something different and we have to change our normal routine but usually within the week he is down with the program.

My son has known how to "play" me since he was just a few weeks old. He NEVER plays up for my husband so he doesn't understand how hard it is do get stuff done sometimes.

Good Luck!!!:sunshine:

mickeymouse

23-08-2008, 07:58

Thurs night - she woke but put herself right back to sleep - within 3 mns
Last night she went to bed at 6.30pm NOT A SOUND until 5.30am !:yelclap:
U know what is weird though & DH has noticed it also is that she is quieter - seriously - she used to yell & Talk & talk and chat and she is quiet now :confused:
I hope she is ok - Its very weird - I mean she is smiling etc - just so calm now - its like she isnt hyper anymore ??

Any thoughts on that ? XXXX

DALLASMUM

23-08-2008, 09:00

i have just been reading through your posts i have a almost 7 month old bub who is not sleeping well he was up i think 6 times last nigh ( i have lost count now, it all a blur) got any advice..... i see things are getting better now

Phyllis Stein

23-08-2008, 09:06

U know what is weird though & DH has noticed it also is that she is quieter - seriously - she used to yell & Talk & talk and chat and she is quiet now :confused:
I hope she is ok - Its very weird - I mean she is smiling etc - just so calm now - its like she isnt hyper anymore ??

Any thoughts on that ? XXXX

I've read quite a few mums say the same thing after doing CC. I have lots of thought on it, but they belong in the No Cry threads.

mickeymouse

24-08-2008, 08:07

well 6.30pm bed - not a peep - woke at 9.00pm but had a tiny feed - like 80mls - back to sleep
No waking til 5am :yelclap:
And im happy to say that she is back to her normal yelling singing clapping self - Yest arvo she was yelling her head off & laughing etc - I think honestly she has been tired from all the night waking - I can honestly see that she is calmer & def happier - seriously - :thumbsup:
Anyway - Im still tired as Yes Im awake - checking on her - our DS was vomiting on FRI night also :no: so I have been up with him last night as well as he had a fever but seems great 2day -
So ladies / mummies etc etc etc we seem to be on the right track -
Hope everyone is well XXXXXXXXX

mickeymouse

27-08-2008, 06:43

we have been going so well & then last night DD woke at 2am - was getting very worked up so I went in in case she had a poo in her nappy - she didnt but she was very wet -
So i changed her & left - she wasnt happy but stopped crying in under 1 min but then woke again at 4am - and I left her - she did go back to sleep again til 5am - Im gutted -
I shouldnt be - but I thought we had cracked it ??:confused:

DALLASMUM

27-08-2008, 07:51

i have read they do go through a stage of testing you, so maybe thats all it is, dont give up now when you have come so far........ i want to help my little one tp sleep better but i cant handle it on my own, so i have booked in to a day stay with the CHN and then hopefully to sleep school

mickeymouse

28-08-2008, 14:57

she had a good night last night - she woke at 12.30am but just yelled out & Then went back to sleep til 4.45am - i didnt even move when I heard her as Im getting a cold or something - like feral virus or something as I had a huge fever last night & just didnt move so I was so so so very impressed that she went back to sleep - she has been having huge sleeps 2day also and she is so much happier - Its quite amazing actually - she is calmer - she laughs & eats better - man - sleep is important at ANY age isnt it!

Thx for your post - i hope u get the help U are looking for XXXXXXXX:)