Equality with kids.....

[subaruforestermum]

Ok my question is basically, did you do the same things for your second, and consecutive if you have them, as you did for your first.....

In terms of; portraits, etc..

I am feeling a little overwhelmed at the moment, because we wont be able to afford the things we got for DS, and in reality I personally dont think that is fair, as the new baby will be just as important..

With DS some of what we got was;

Hand and feet sculptures framed with 2 silver plaques = $400 @ 6 weeks.

Photo shoot = $375 @ 6 weeks.

Photos of the morning and afternoon of his birth day, framed. = $175 (I think, DF got it for me, could be more).

And yet this time around, we cant really afford to get that stuff, but I wouldnt feel right if we didnt get them done for this baby..

What have you done???????

Got them for all kids, or the first is more special???????

[TinyStar]

Hi subs - congratulations BTW!

I cant really answer your question because I didn't do any of that sort of stuff for my first - but I did do a few other things.

I collected the newspaper from the day they were born, I asked my dad to get it and he thought I wanted it to read not to keep and scrunched it! And made up a little keepsake box.

So I guess you have a few options - you could start saving up the money for these things put $20 a week away, or could you ask any close family members to make a contribution instead of buying other things?

Maybe some of the stuff you could do youself, or find a cheaper alternative. Like the framed morning and afternoon shots - could someone you know or your DH take some lovely shots near your home?

I'm pretty sure your bubba will know that he/she is loved equally to their big brother - it's your actions once they are born that defines this - not the material things that each child has been bought.

[Mamalicious]

I kind of feel the other way round, we'll be in a better position financially :fingerscrossed: this time so will be more likely to get things like hand and foot castings, which I always wanted!!! Plus the first time around I felt like :dizzy:...

You can get DIY kits from ebay for about $40 I think, maybe even cheaper. I'm going to get a couple and do the new baby when s/he's little and DS at the same time.

I used to drape a sheet over the couch outside in the courtyard and put DS in some nice clothes and spike up his mohawk then take heaps of photos and they look great, and they were FREE!!! :D You can take them anywhere, and the one time we got a free photo thing at the professional place it was a disaster, he was tired and grumpy and wouldn't even open his eyes lol worked much better at home!

I really wanted that photo of the sunrise on DS's birthday, might have to find that...getting someone else to take it for you this time is a good idea. :yes:

You cans till do the same things, just find another way to do it that doesn't cost as much. :yes::hugs:

[Sunnygal]

We never got the sculptures and stuff but with DS 1 I was always updating his Baby Book, with every spot filled in correctly, DS 2 I don't have as much time, so his book will be guess-timates! I do feel really guilty about it!

[Mamalicious]

DS's baby book has hardly got anything in it. :o

I used to write things up on the calendar as they happened so I could put it in his book later, but then we moved and the calendar got thrown away. :crying:

[subaruforestermum]

I too would write things on pieces of paper, and the likes to put in his book when I had the time so it was neater...

Now I have no idea where I wrote the stuff...so his books arent filled out properly either, (he has 3)...

Which would be something I feel bad about, having the new babies one filled out better....

Cant win with my guilty feelings either way!

[SurpriseBubba]

I worry about the same thing for this baby.... because I'm a single mum and can't afford as much I am doing it on the cheap and I feel horrible about it....

Luckily though I enjoy things like photogrpahy and can do my own shoots and things...

but I do worry about having equal amounts of good photos around the place etc..... (by jeepers my walls will be side by side photos! :o)

[TeamAwesome]

We haven't done the same (though I have tried) but that's cos our local Pixi fotos photographer went on maternity to have a bub and they ended up shutting it down due to not having a replacement for her she was really really good with kids! I am hoping to be able to save up and maybe once a year get a proper photographer to do some family pics for us. Id prefer to do the less posed styles anyway. We didn't do the other things you talked about though.

In saying that about the pictures in trying to make sure I have lots of baby/toddler photos of them all I have taken plenty of the girls lately so probably seems like I'm favouring them but I know that when they look back it will be why don't I have as many baby toddler pics as DS if I don't.

It's hard to keep it completely even though, with your first you have more time to devote to such things where as there's a lot more happening with subsequent children, I find I tend to be spending time doing things with the kids and not taking pics of them doing things and it's only really been since my DH works away that i make more of an effort to take photos. I do now try to take my own portrait type pics of the kids so that I am taking them at least.

Any way that's just my view of it.

[Benji]

SFM I only have the one bub but I never had any of those expensive things done with DS (as XDP never gave me a cent to spend on myself or DS but that's another story) but I've kept all of his 'first' items - his first little nighty, his first hair from haircut, his bands from hospital, and I have just about everything on camera on my computer.

I always heard it was the other way around - that a lot of parents regret not taking enough photos with bub #1 so make up for it with #2.

Anyway, as long as you treat them equally (not necessarily the same, but equal) they won't notice the difference.

When I was growing up my parents had all sorts of pictures of my brother all over the place, and only one of me hanging over their bed - but I knew they loved me equally because of the way they treated me and how they would talk with such fondness about when I was a baby and toddler.

Take as many pics as you can on your digital camera. Cheap can be just as nice (and I think better) as the $$$ pricey shots. :)

[gizmoduckus]

I haven't gone really over the top with stuff with DS because I have always had it in my head about doing the same for all the others that could come along.

I really don't want to be explaining when the kids are older why one got more stuff than the other.

[Mariposa]

We have done all the same for our girls.

We never got the hand and foot moulds though, the most expensive would have been the professional photos of them at birth and again at 4mths.

However for each of the girls, they have their "first 5yr books" I also have a hardcovered A4 book, which I have made into a "dear diary" for them, starting off every month for the first 2 years, special occasions ie new arrival then every birthday, telling them their stats, what they have been doing etc. This is something that they will receive on their 21st bday.
Also have done the same in scrapbooking (behind now, but will get around to it)

[Areca]

I have done the same for my girls.

I never did the hand and foot print thing (like mama said...just get the DIY one and do it yourself. It might not be as professional looking but at least your baby will know you really cared and did what you could with the finances you had).

We did a family photo shoot at 3 months (5 months for DD2 cause she slept so much those first few months we waited until she was more alert and awake) and then my MIL pays for professional photo shoot at 1 year old...but just of the baby. With the earlier photo shoot we get three 8x10 photo's to go on the wall, and then some 7x5 and 6x4 to keep. The one year photo's are all 6x4 with a couple of 7x5 but we pick one photo and have it put on a canvas for them.
They also both have a pregnancy scrapbook each, and I have little books that I write the funny things they say in them (DD1 is the only one old enough for this).

They both have a baby's first year book and the info is filled in but the photo's aren't.

I also take equal amounts of photo's.
I am a second child and I know my p's love me just the same as my sister but I hate that there aren't as many photo's of me so I've been determined to make it equal. The only difference is DD2 has her birth on video...I didn't do that with DD1. I regret it soooo much and she already asks where her video is.

[Lollie86]

I only have the one atm but plan on getting the same things for the next bub. We got the hand and feet sculptures done and proffessional photos at birth and 12 weeks.

Does your budget allow you to put aside maybe $10 or $20 a week to allow for these things once bubs comes along?

[subaruforestermum]

We have a digital camera, and I've stopped taking photos ALL the time of DS, and feel bad, but our computer is so slow because of all the photos on it, looking at getting an external hard drive, but that will be a while.... I also done my own 'professional' photos of his first christmas....with angel wings, on his sheepskin rug etc...and have some great shots that look professional of DS...

And I'll do the same for this bub....hundreds of photos a week...

At the moment we only have a little money left over each week, that will change when we pay off DF's fine, and my ring....but then we need a new cot and matress, and a few other things, and depending on the sex of the baby, we may need an entire new wardrobe...

We never planned on having another child, which is why we done all these things for DS, as he was special, our only child....I didnt think twice that we may have another child one day, and I didnt think twice that we would be broke as we were so well off before...

The photos we got for DS I would love to get again, because that price included the big pictures, and medium and six wallet size for all 7 poses, and the photos on CD too... I would never use pixi photo, only ever Little Images again.... and DF said we could do that, but not the others....But to me that is not fair...

Asking others to help out with costs instead of presents is a good idea... Might have a baby shower and suggest it in the invites later down the track....

[Seacretsquirrel]

I did get the hand and foot thing done but mine was only $149 ish dollars done by a lovely lady at the mornington markets She now has the whole kits online for around the same price (everything including the frame, mats, the plaques to engrave and the stuff to do the moulds) I am just going to have to ask fo a bit extra to do two lots of moulds. (the kit comes with enough to do like 10 moulds so there is heaps to have a few goes.)
We have heaps of photos it has tapered off a bit but Im sure with twins it will be just as exciting as with DD I will attemt to do the books again and will probably be as slack with them as I was with DD. Oh well the thought was there I just forgot to add all the bits to each month.

[hayleysmummy]

I sometimes think the same thing but when DS arrives I'd like to get Family portraits of all of us together then 1 of each of the children with each parent in each photo (IYKWIM):laughing: What a mouthful then I think on the days DD is at Kindy or when bub is sleeping etc I'll get some single ones of him on his own but I want more of the 2 of them together.DD is in a coffee table book that cost me $270+320 for the photos and I will also do that for DS if they have the layby option otherwise we wont be able to afford it

I've been slack with DD's baby books (2) so I should catch up to that

I will also take advantage of all those pixi photos token things you get at the shops where you pay 5.95 or whatever and just take the freebie :o