Wanting to move but DH won't come with!

[nsmonkey]

Hi,
Well alot of you have probably read my other threads about me wanting to leave DH.
Well I was speaking to my dad and well he suggested that I have a serious talk to DH about wanting to move etc.
I have decided that I want to move over Dalby way. I want a to go and get a job (anything to start off), I feel as I am depriving the kids of having friends living in the middle of nowhere.
I would also like to study, but from here the closest tafe is still an hour away and they don't seem to have a great range of options.
I want to get something out of life instead of staying home everyday looking after the kids. Don't get me wrong I love spending time with them, but it just gets a bit FULL on at times.

Maybe I want to much!

I mentioned it to DH this morning and well he has different plans which mean that I still stay at home with the kids. He said that if I want to go that I should. The biggest thing would be leaving him and only seeing him on weekends.

I really just don't know.
I need some help.

[Kazamataz]

Hi I haven't read many of your posts so i don't know your situation.

Are you currently living in a mining town?

And If I read your post correctly you would like to move to a bigger town?

[nsmonkey]

No we aren't living in a mining town, just in the middle of nowhere. Country. I have lived here for 21 yrs.
Yeah I would like to move to a bigger town were there are more options to choose from. Aswell the price of fuel is ridiculous. Closest town from here is an hours drive.

[Kazamataz]

Oh sorry made an assumption there since your posting in the parents with partners working away section. That you lived in a mining town or something similar.

I think if you really want to move and feel it would be a good choice for all your family then why not.

You said your DH said if you want to go then go.

Yes it will be hard if you only get to see him on the weekends.
But their is a lot of support in here and if your moving to somewhere thats closer to friends or family then that too is a bonus.

I guess at the end of the day you have to weigh up whats best for you and your family.

The distance is hard but once your in a routine you'll hardly notice it.
Esp since you'll only be away from each other for 4 or 5 days a week.

[Kazamataz]

What you could do to test it.
Is go and stay with friends or family for a week or two and see how everyone goes.

If it doesn't work out then maybe you'll have to explore other options.

You don't really know if it's going to suit you unless you give it a go.

[nsmonkey]

Okay well its been said in this house bout 1/2 an hour ago. That if I want to go then I should go and don't expect to be welcomed back.
I said: Can't I still see you on weekends?
He said: Yeah, and what about the others you will during the week.

What a prick, maybe I should just leave?
He musn't give a rats *** about me and his kids.

[Kazamataz]

Okay well its been said in this house bout 1/2 an hour ago. That if I want to go then I should go and don't expect to be welcomed back.
I said: Can't I still see you on weekends?
He said: Yeah, and what about the others you will during the week.

What a prick, maybe I should just leave?
He musn't give a rats *** about me and his kids.

Sounds like he thinks you want to move so you can see other people?

I personally wouldn't move at this time, If your husband is feeling so insecure.

I haven't read your other posts so I don't know your situation, but if you want to make your marriage work then you really need to concentrate on working out some of your issues.

I don't think he sounds like a prick at all, sounds like he loves you and your kids very much and is worried if he lets you go then he will lose you.

Like I said I don't know your situation but as someone who spends every second week away from their husband I know you have to have a very solid and strong marriage in order for it to work.

I wish you all the best and whatever you do I hope it has a happy ending for everyone concerned.

[nsmonkey]

Well lat night Dh and I talked about what we both want properly. We have come to a conclusion that I stay here and not move but I am going to study from home. I am also wanting to put the kids in daycare like once or twice a fortnight.
Now I just got to find something that interests me.

[KJEmum]

At first I was going to say .. yaay good on ya for wanting more out of life. I'm one who follows DH around like a puppy .. looks after kids .. I do get out and about now and certainly will put #3 into daycare if I feel the need... but when it comes to say my qualifications .. I've been a medical secretary and a photographer and keeper of teh website for the RSPCA in Darwin. I think you're heading in the right direction but yes cos of your DH not wanting you to go .. it's either make or break it.

Reading your last post I think you've made a good decision, stick with your man and do your thing by correspondence etc. Stick with it though and ya know .. I applaud you for not wanting to stay in hicktown and wanting to see what else is out there. Not let that dream go though :) it could lay dormant for a little while.

[HunterzMummy]

Well lat night Dh and I talked about what we both want properly. We have come to a conclusion that I stay here and not move but I am going to study from home. I am also wanting to put the kids in daycare like once or twice a fortnight.
Now I just got to find something that interests me.

Great idea hun :D I really hope it works out for u.

Remember we are all always here to vent or to bounce things off...

Big hugs hunnie :hugs: