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Brad1701
18-07-2008, 08:04
Being that I haven't posted on here before, i thought i'd explain my situation a little first...
I've been with my DP now for the better part of the year, and the kids have come to see me as daddy now (their real father has all but abandoned them and behaves like they're a chore to visit). We're getting married in 7 weeks and expecting our first child together not long after that.
Now, we could be living together already as i've been told i'm more than welcome to live here with her mother and the rest of the family, but i'm finding it a hard decision to make. Please don't get me wrong, i don't hate her mum, she's just one of those people you can't live with for very long because she gets on your nerves to the point where you may say something you'll regret later. I hate being away from the kids and living with my dad, but i can't stand living here with her either, and we've probably got another 2 or 3 months to wait till she moves out and we're finally on our own.
Any suggestions on how to maintain my sanity here? I want to be with the kids and my partner, and i'm so empty when i'm not with them.
I just don't know what to do about her mother. Every day when she comes home from work, the first thing she does is complain about how much of a mess the house is, regardless of the fact that we've spent the WHOLE day doing nothing but cleaning it. No amount of cleaning up seems sufficient for her, and my partner is treated like a housemaid when her brother and sister aren't expected to do anything, and usually just create more mess for her to clean up. I don't want to cause arguments while i'm here, but I also can't stand to see my DP treated like this by her own family. We've tried moving to my dad's place for the time being, but unfortunately it's too far away from clinic for her to travel every week now. The situation is becoming intolerable as I constantly move back and forth every few days between my place and her mum's (and it's a 3 hour trip each way by public transport).

Mum2Bella
18-07-2008, 09:56
is there a reason stopping you from getting your own place together?

Mum2Bug
18-07-2008, 09:59
Hi Brad and welcome. We have heard some wonderful things from Dani about you. Im afraid I have no advice on the housing front though so good luck with whatever you can work out between you all.

Brad1701
18-07-2008, 10:02
money, for the most part. Her mum has applied for a loan to take over repayments on the house, at which point she'll be moving out and we'll be paying her rent every week, but at least we'll have the house to ourselves.
We tried for a while to get our own rental property, but being that we're both on pensions (she's on parenting and i'm on disability) the real estate agents we applied with weren't interested in giving us a place.
So as things stand at the moment, i'm spending a week here with her family until it becomes infuriating living with her mum, then going back home for a week and taking one of the kids with me for company.

Lollie86
18-07-2008, 11:28
If you've only got about 2-3 months before you guys can live together I would say just suck it up and continue doing what you have been doing.....I know it sucks but moving in with her mum could be disasterous if she annoys you and you say something you'll regret later....

My DF and I live with my parents and my sister and it sounds exactly like our situation regarding the cleaning. My sister gets away with doling nothing whilst im treated like Sadie the Cleaning Lady! Unfortunately theres nothing you can say that will change that but at least you guys have each other to vent to if things get rough....

xkwzit
18-07-2008, 14:49
Ladies,
I think that Brad has placed this thread in the Dad's chat specifically so that he can get the male perspective. Let's leave the boys to this thread.

Unless, you want to hear from the chicks Brad? If so, just tell everyone to ignore me:D.

Cheers

the_original_duchess
18-07-2008, 16:49
meh i dont think he minded either way. he just gets annoyed by my mum. as do i. but the difference is i vent on here or to him and he doesnt really ahve anyone to vent to coz he doesnt want to upset me or something i think??
im just counting down the days until they move out lol