I cant do this anymore

[Mum2Bug]

How do I go on like this? I dont think I can but I am out of ideas. I have tried everything. She just wont listen, wont do as she is told, in fact does the complete opposite. Tonight is the last straw.

We had a friend drop by tonight and while I was in my study getting him the money I owed him, Bug took her drink into the lounge room and poured it all over her Thomas trains, all over the side table, the plastic kitchen, her magna doodle, the carpet, and also in the family area over my gym equipment:hair::gloomy:

I lost it, I yelled at her to clean it all up, handed her a cloth and stood there. Once she had finished I sent her to bed and then just started crying.

Why do this? She has been misbehaving all day while we were out, this after I had given her a present this morning, and not a small one either (a scooter). How much is this complete defiance going to go on for because Im not sure I can cope with it on my own any longer.:crying: It is sending me back into the depression I have been fighting most of my life and I dont want to get there again.

[mum1986]

i will cry with you. i have had to get tough on my ds and it took over 2 hours to get him in time out. and that was repeated 3 times today. we can cry about them together. or get mad together, i have done both in alarming rates today.

[V8]

I'm so sorry i don't have many answers either, sounds very difficult. :hugs:

[mum2cheeky1]

:hugs::hugs:

[DQ]

I have no advice but wanted to send you some :hugs::hugs:

[Chunkydunks]

Can I join yas with the the cry session. DS seems to be getting worse by the day. We had my nephews again tonight and DS was just into everything. 2 days ago he got hold of my rotery cutter and my craft knife. Cut himself with the rotery cutter in the morning and then tried to get it again that afternoon and when that failed managed to find my craft knife and cut the mesh on my sisters port-a-cot.

Its so not easy hey De. It really does get to a point where you wonder when the nightmare will end. I got so frustrated with DS the other day that I told him I wanted my good boy back. I felt so guilty for saying that to him.

So I'm with ya here:hugs::hugs::hugs:

[Mum2Bug]

Im starting to wonder if i shouldve just married her father to have that support as i was originally going to, but instead i decided to go it alone and im starting to regret it when we have days (weeks) like this

[KatiesMum]

:hugs: :hugs:

All I can do is send :hugs: hun.

Must be so hard for you.

:hugs:

[cmd'smum]

aww hun :hugs::hugs:

we have days like this with Chloe BUT one thing I've noticed is that the older she is getting, those days are getting fewer and fewer :yes: you handled the situation well, you did, you taught her that she will clean up her mess, and get sent to bed when she behaves that way.

You are a wonderful mum, and you know you made the right decision by not marrying her father :)

If you're having a bad day and feel you can't cope, grab bug and come here, her and Chloe play so well together!:yes:

Hope you're feeling better :hugs:

[Mum2Bug]

Thanks Linda, I may just come visit soon. Will call to arrange something.

And I know you are right about me not marrying him, you have already guided me through alot where he is concerned, its just feeling so much harder right now when I know he cant come and look after her without me around while he is recovering from his op and I just really need a good break. In fact if it wasnt for his knee, I wouldve sent her up to him for a week so she could see her siblings and give me the space to regroup.

I love her so much, I really do, but I grew up in a strict household where we didnt dare say boo to our parents or step out of line so to have such a defiant, disobedient child that revels in it all, it is just beyond me and my capabilities.

[cmd'smum]

De, I KNWYM. I grew up in a similar household too.

I think you two need some time apart. I would love to look after Bug every now and again for you, honestly, Chloe gets so bored during the day, we don't really go anywhere, she doesn't go daycare (hopefully she'll be starting pre-kindy late this year :fingerscrossed::smiliedance:) so it would do Bug lots of good, you lots of good and me lots of good!:D

De, she's a very smart girl, she gets bored easily, and I've found this to be true with Chloe too!:yes: I think this is also part of the problem.

I genuinely, 100% mean what I said, if I didn't I would'nt offer to have her over!:hugs:

[Mum2Bug]

Thanks linda, im in tears right now.

I know she is smart, even her paediatrician has said that. He is amazed that while her communicable speech is about 9-12 months behind, she can sit there and recite whole dvds as she watches them. And I know its boredom and frustration getting to her, its just hard dealing with it when I can only do so much.

4 year old kindy is going to be very kind to us both next year i suspect

[cmd'smum]

:yes: oh yea! Just keep remembering "kindy next year, kindy next year" :laughing::D

:hugs::hugs:

[Pixie]

Eliza is the same, it drives me mental some days I do yell at her but that soon stopped working. Now we have the 3 warnings then off to your room, me behind I get down to her level and once she's stopped crying I explain why I got upset. She also looses things she really enjoys.

It's maddening I feel for you on your own I truly do :hugs::hugs:

ETA I keep saying that too "Nursery in January" lol

[Mum2Bug]

Thanks ladies. Right now Im just sitting here trying to talk myself into going to bed but that is just another problem with us, Im over cosleeping but she wont budge and i find it hard on nights like tonight to lay there with her and have it all go over in my mind about where i went wrong.

[hayleymummy2jakob]

hi i totally know what you mean my ds can be so out of control sometimes and i think oh my god where the hell did i go wrong thenn the next day he is an angel my sons speech is 12 months delayed aswell.
i hope everything woks out for you:hugs:

[Pixie]

I doubt you went wrong, well that's what I tell myself sometimes children know what buttons to press,maybe we're busy with work etc boredom is a huge problem I try to take my DD out twice a da most days she has a class and I meet up with friends ever day it really helps. So try to visit people I also find she's better when out & about.

Sleep on the sofa tonight!

[Mum2Bug]

Yeah Pixie I think part of the problem is that she is such an outdoors type of kid and we have had nothing but rain lately and I dont think she is coping. Normally I wouldve taken her off to a play centre or something but its school holidays here so I have been avoiding them. Im hoping her little friends party on sunday will help her expend some energy (sorry Kristy:D).

I barely slept last night but Im just telling myself today is a new day and that it WILL be better. If not, she is about to find out just how strict mummy can be after her own upbringing. (Although im not harsh enough to do the nose against the wall trick for 2 hours like my parents did)

[sunnyflower]

Wow it sounds as though i could have written that post.

Sounds like bug is a female version of my little boy.

You know ,intelligent kids are the hardest,they are constantly pushing the envelope.

I love my son ,he is everything to me but when he goes to bed i sometimes breathe a sigh of relief.

I had to laugh when i read the lying there with her,been there,done that.I still co sleep and he is 6 but i refuse to stay there with him anymore.

I am single too and my advice is as you are on your own,and there are no siblings you tend to get bored with each other and this is where the problems start.Try and mix as much as possible.Go over to friends,get them to come over to yours ,accept al offers of help.

It will get better hon.It's hard on your own.

[missmum05]

I am sorry your going trough this :hugs:
hope she behaves herself for you...
My dd sometimes has big tantrums bu very rare nowdays but when she plays up we send her to her room and she has to sit in her bed and that works (luckily) if that failed I wouldnt know what to do ...:p

[Jaileth]

I just had to send you some :hugs:

I hope tomorrow is a really great day for both of you.

[HugsAndKisses]

I totally understand what your going through hun...
my DS is rotten some days, and both me and DH are at a loss...all we can do is continue to punish his bad behaviour and praise him when he is good...
my son does things like you DD did and trust me i know how frustrating and upsetting it is...
you did the right thing, you punnished her and showed her you wont put up with it! it will be hard for a while, i kow this cause DS has been going through this for a while now but, slowly he is getting better and listening a little more...also my son gets extremley bored easily too so i totally get how ur feeling

many many:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

[Mum2Bug]

Thank you everyone. Today has been a little bit better thanks to a couple of hours sunshine this morning and she had a nap today so it has been a decent day so far.

Except for me now having to vacuum my study after she pulled hundreds of tiny bright pink mini feather bits out of her tiara :(

[MummyGoingMad]

Glad to hear today was a bit better :hugs:

I know how you feel, sometimes I just feel so mad and I feel like the worst mum.... but i guess we all have to get through it :(

Kindy will be great for her from the sounds of things...

Sometimes i take my 2 to an indoor playcenter literally from when it opens to almost closing time. i know that sounds so bad but they will run around all day, have a 1hr nap each in the pram and will be back up and running... thats about the easiest day i get.

i agree that summer is so much easier (and cheaper) when you can just go playground hopping and they can explore a new playground every second day. i miss the sunshine!!!

[Mum2Bug]

Yeah im missing the sunshine too. During summer we were going to whiteman park every second day for a swim and play and general run around. It was great. But now the cold weather just makes it so hard :( She went down tonight without too much of a fight which is good, so Im sitting here now just relaxing and looking at her behind me (im in the study, she put herself to bed in my crash bed)

[Chunkydunks]

:hugs::hugs: Glad today was a bit better.