Extremely painful internals

[poppie]

Hi, I don't want to talk too much about either of my birth stories as both are something I would rather forget.

The reason I am so traumatised is that everytime I had an internal during labour, I thought I would die! The pain was so terrible that I can not even begin to explain.

With DD2 I begged the midwife not to do one as when I had the second one with DD1 I just lost control and ended up with an epidural. She did it anyway and couldn't feel how far dilated I was initially so kept her fingers in there with 2 other midwives pinning me down saying 'just a bit longer' over and over again. I wonder why me screaming no for them to get away went unnoticed? I understand that women often say things like that and don't mean it, but when they knew me throughout the pregnancies and had watched me cope with only gas through posterior labours, they should have listened and realised something was wrong.

Anyway, what I really wanted to know is if anyone else experiences this intensity of cervical pain during and internal? Oh, and I should say that when I am not in labour, I don't find internals painful.

Sorry for the waffle....

[~Emmylou~]

Wow poppie I'm really sorry you had to go through that.

The first internal I had when I was in labour with my DD was like that. It was the most horrendous thing I've ever had, worse than actually birthing her.

Usually when labour starts the cervix can be quite hard to reach and pointing towards your back - which can make for realllly bad internals esp if your midwife has short fingers :o Usually as labour goes along the cervix becomes easier to reach and the internals aren't so bad but sometimes it's horrible no matter when it's done. I guess alot depends on who's doing it too :(

It's not uncommon so don't feel like it was just you :hugs:

I know it's too late to help you but just also want to point out for anyone else reading this that even in labour, you have autonomy over your body. No one can stick anything in there without your consent. That is assault. And anyone who attempts to should be reminded of that. Being in labour doesn't make it any less so.

[sockstealingpoltergeist]

:iagree: I am sorry you went through that, how dare they hold you down and do that to you.

[RaryGirl]

Oh that's terrible! And "they" wonder why we don't want to go through labour again after these sorts of traumatic starts.

I know exactly what you are talking about .... I had the same thing with my DD's delivery and was told "if you think this hurts wait till you are really in labour" .... that was over 10 years ago and I still remember it vividly.

[Leeny]

I too had shocking midwives like that.. I have nothing to say to make it better, but its terrible, and some of the midwives certainly take advantage of a woman when she's vulnerable.. Wouldn't it be nice if they could respect someone saying no?

[Phyllis Stein]

I had very painful internals, too, though I don't remember it being worse in labour.

Your experience sounds so awful - I'm not at all surprised you feel so raw about it. Have you thought of getting some counselling, or even debriefing with a good doula or IM? Don't minimise the way you feel, just because you were in labour - they had no excuse to treat you that way!

If it were me, I'd have a lot of anger at the way I was treated - it's so difficult, because they're supposed to be your caregivers, and when they treat you disrespectfully, it can create so many confusing feelings.

[LizzardLover]

Anyway, what I really wanted to know is if anyone else experiences this intensity of cervical pain during and internal? Oh, and I should say that when I am not in labour, I don't find internals painful.

Sorry for the waffle....

i'm actually really happy to hear from this thread that it's somewhat common and that usually that internalls non-pregnant dont hurt.

During my pregnancy I had two internals (wasnt in labour with either). Both REALLY hurt. It hurt so bad I cried and I actually felt shooting pains up my spine into my teeth. Weird as that may sound.

It was so painful it's put me off getting a pap smear, as i'd never had one before getting preg and now 6 years later still havent had one. I *know* I need to get one done but was worried it was going to hurt like that.

So I guess what i'm saying is that YES, internalls while pregnant hurt like hell for me also!!!

[ikis84]

Oh that is horrible :( Mahy people call it birth rape... and sadly many other women share similar experiences. No means NO, whatever the situation.

All the internals in my first labour where terribly painful. I didn't have any in my second labour.

[RaryGirl]

Oh that is horrible :( Mahy people call it birth rape... and sadly many other women share similar experiences. No means NO, whatever the situation.

All the internals in my first labour where terribly painful. I didn't have any in my second labour.

So why don't they listen when we say NO? Is it because they are the "professional" be it midwife, Dr or Ob?

[ikis84]

I don't know :( Power trip? It's very, very wrong.

My lovely hb midwife never did anything without specifically asking me first, and making sure I said yes - something that I did not get in hospital. It's sad that not every birth experience is the same. I felt horribly violated after the birth of my first.

[poppie]

Thanks everyone, it's nice to know that you understand, although it is terrible that many of you seem to have gone through a similar experience :hugs:

I am just happy that I have my 2 beautiful girls and that's it for me! :party:

[Mathermy]

Yes-I had a similar experience.I was crying and asking her to please stop :crying:

The woman in the room beside me was very kind and said that she had heard and she felt awful for me & that it was hard to hear :(

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

[mummato3]

Yep, add me to the list too. I was so terrified of having a VE with my son that my legs literally slammed shut and physically I couldnt get them open!!! My obst was far from impressed and 'ordered' an epidural...gee hindsight is a bloody wonderful thing isnt it...if I only I knew then what I know now :( I am appalled that you were held down by the midwives, that actually constitutes assault!!!