Feeling angry, need to vent.......

[jdsmummy]

I had a miscarriage early this week. I was only 5 weeks, did not need a D&C and havent really had much pain, unlike my last m/c where I was 13 weeks, had lots of pain, had a water infection (thats what they said the pain was), heard a strong heart beat only for a few days later to go to toilet and blood just gushed out (sorry tmi). Went to hospital were i lost my baby which I saw. I then went through more pain trying to pass the placenta which got stuck and had to have D&C.
This time has not been as horrific as then but I have still lost another baby.
I have had my tears and now just feel angry.
I know this is natural but I also feel jealous and envy, 2 emotions I hate because nothing good comes from them.
I feel jealous that my cousin is pg, looks great put hardly any weight on has no stretch marks.
While im sitting here feeling fat, ugly and dealing with another miscarrige. It just feels very unfair.
I dont wish a m/c on anyone, and reading this back I feel awful as I have a great dh, beautiful son and dont have problems concieving. I just hate feeling like this and need to get it off my chest. Sorry so long and sorry if I sound ungrateful.

[BreakfastatTiffanys]

You don't sound ungrateful at all......you have just lost a baby:hugs::hugs::hugs: you have every right to feel angry and hurt.

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

[Zeal]

I'm so sorry to hear that you have lost your baby. IMO anger and jealousy is normal at this time :hugs::hugs::hugs:

[Loopy Linda]

lots of hugs for you and i think you are entitled to be angry and jealous for a little while, the whole situation is just unfair and there is nothing you can do about it so that is why you are angry, at least if there was something you could do you could be pro active about it.

let your self feel all your emotions ( just try a little harder not to direct at anyone) and this will help you recover from a terrible time.

lots more hugs, and talking about it will probably help aswell so get it out ( in here might be easiest) and help heal yourself.

[Crazy Bananas]

I felt the same after last m/c. Be kind to yourself and give yourself time to heal. :hugs:

[kas3]

Don't feel bad. Your feelings are completely normal. It isn't fair at all. :hugs:

[noidea]

I wish I could say something to make you feel better. But having just lost a baby at 15 weeks, I know there is nothing anyone can say to us to make us feel better.

It is completely natural to feel angry and sad and jealous. I am feeling the same way. I can't stand going out in public and seeing babies and pregnant women. It really hurts my heart.

I'm also feeling horrible about myself, having put on 10kg after IVF treatment and then pregnancy. I have no clothes to wear and am just feeling miserable.

We will get through this though...I promise you...

:hugs:

[jdsmummy]

So sorry for your loss noidea. Its makes me feel awful to feel this way after what you have been through to get pregnant and then losing your baby at 15 weeks.
I had a m/c at 13 weeks before I had my son and all I could think about was having a baby. I now have my son to think of and he gets me through the day.
The only thing I can say to you is it does get easier and one day soon you will have your angel looking down on you and your future child.
Please pm me if you want to talk.

[Jamaica]

I just read your post and hope your feeling better. They say anger is a big part of grieving & if I were you I would be angry too. I hope you get a sticky one soon. I really do :)

[Jender]

Jdsmummy - your feelings are exactly what most of us who have been through your situation feel. A loss is a loss is a loss. Like you - I feel VERY blessed to have my DD and I am hoping that this bubby inside me is going to be her very much loved sibling....

Be kind to yourself, let yourself grieve, shout, bite as much as you like. Its all part of the process

we are all here for you if you need us

[jdsmummy]

Thanks jender, I feel better today, my emotions are like a roller coaster, 1min sad, 1 mintue angry, the next just feel blessed to have my ds.
Im just looking forward to having a healthy sticky brother or sister for ds.

[noidea]

jdsmummy,

I just wanted to say you shouldn't feel awful for feeling the way you are feeling. Like Jender said, a loss is a loss and your loss hurts no more or less than mine. Regardless of the situation and conception methods.

Thank you for the reassurance. I'm so scared it' s not going to happen quickly or it's not going to happen at all. But deep down I know we just had some bad luck with a chromosome problem and hopefully next time we will have better luck.

You know I also feel lucky in some ways compared to others as I got pregnant the first cycle of IVF. I know a lot of others are not so fortunate and some still go on to miscarry after many, many attempts at IVF.

I hope each day gets easier for us both.

n
xxx


So sorry for your loss noidea. Its makes me feel awful to feel this way after what you have been through to get pregnant and then losing your baby at 15 weeks.
I had a m/c at 13 weeks before I had my son and all I could think about was having a baby. I now have my son to think of and he gets me through the day.
The only thing I can say to you is it does get easier and one day soon you will have your angel looking down on you and your future child.
Please pm me if you want to talk.