View Full Version : Confused.
I will be 29 weeks on Monday. And I have to make a decision about how I want to birth my baby. (My ob said he will support whatever decision I make.) Basically, the thought of natural birth does not appeal at all. I think it's fair to say that I'm quite terrified. I was pretty sure I wanted to go with a c-section, but I've heard a number of horror stories of late. A friend of mine had her first child two days ago. She had a natural birth, but was in the same ward with three caesar mums and she said they were in a lot of pain. Whereas my friend was pretty much fine. (Her DH said that he was astounded at how quickly she recovered.) Then I ran into an acquaintance at lunch time who had to have an emergency caesar with her second child due to illness. Her first was natural and she said that was much better. Another friend had an emergency caesar and said that she would prefer to rip from "a to b" than have a caesar again. I am so confused. I have no idea which way to go. My mother nearly died having me - she had an emergency caesar in the end. Her sister went through a long labour before having a caesar - and then went on to have two more. Birth just seems so horrible to me. And risky. Sorry for the rant. I needed to get it out :)
I had 2 natural deliveries. DD1 labour was 24hrs and DD2 just 4hrs. Yes it hurts, but there are drugs if you need them. Even though it was very painful at times, I enjoyed the whole experience and loved pushing them both out naturally. I had a second degree tear with both and was so worried about the pain but there was hardly any. With both girls I was up and about within 2 hours. The only real pain was the breastfeeding! I personally would hate the recovery period after a c-section. Especially with DD2 as you can't lift DD1!
Hey Kas3 I had a emerg. C section with DD and I was walking on day 2 without assistance I would have gone home day 3 but they said DD could come as she'd been in special care.
With DS I have elective C sec. because I have heart cond. and Dr was worried about me. Again I was walking & showering unassited on day 2. I just wanted to go home i hate hospitals :barf:
I think it is dependant on the person, C sec. is a major op and some people heal faster and have higher pain tolerance than others it also depends on the Dr too how good they are I think anyway.
I'd recommend reading "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth' by Ina May Gaskin. It's really reassuring and has helped me become much more comfortable with the idea of normal birth.
This sums up some of the arguments:
"What are the risks of cesarean delivery? The maternal mortality is higher than that associated with vaginal birth (5.9 for elective cesarean delivery v. 18.2 for emergency cesarean v. 2.1 for vaginal birth, per 100 000 completed pregnancies in the United Kingdom during 1994–1996).3Cesarean section also requires a longer recovery time, and operative complications such as lacerations and bleeding may occur, at rates varying from 6% for elective cesarean to 15% for emergency cesarean.1,4 Having a cesarean delivery increases the risk of major bleeding in a subsequent pregnancy because of placenta previa (5.2 per 1000 live births) and placental abruption (11.5 per 1000 live births).5 Among term babies, the risk of neonatal respiratory distress necessitating oxygen therapy is higher if delivery is by cesarean (35.5 with a prelabour cesarean v. 12.2 with a cesarean during labour v. 5.3 with vaginal delivery, per 1000 live births).6 Also, a recent study has reported that the risk of unexplained stillbirth in a second pregnancy is somewhat increased if the first birth was by cesarean rather than by vaginal delivery (1.2 per 1000 v. 0.5 per 1000).7 Lastly, birth by cesarean is not generally considered "natural" or "normal."
What are the benefits of cesarean section? It may reduce the risk of urinary incontinence, which is a common postpartum problem. In one study of primiparous women, 26% had urinary incontinence at 6 months post partum, the rate being lowest with elective cesarean (5%), higher with cesarean during labour (12%), higher still following a spontaneous vaginal birth (22%) and highest following a vaginal forceps delivery (33%).8 Although not as common as urinary incontinence, fecal incontinence, affecting about 4% of women giving birth, is usually a serious problem, and the risk may be reduced by cesarean section.9 Other maternal benefits from cesarean delivery include avoidance of labour pain, alleviation of fear and anxiety related to labour or birth10,11 and reduced worry about the health of the baby.12 Also, some women may just prefer the convenience and control of being able to plan the precise timing of the birth. The baby may also benefit. The risk of an unexplained or unexpected stillbirth may be reduced by cesarean section, as may be the risk of complications of labour such as clinical chorioamnionitis, fetal heart rate abnormalities and cord prolapse.1,13 Lastly, labour and vaginal birth, complete with hospital stay, continuous electronic fetal heart rate monitoring, induction or augmentation of labour, epidural analgesia, forceps delivery, episiotomy and multiple caregivers, may also not be considered "natural" or "normal.""
Of course a vaginal birth recovery will be quicker and easier then a c-section recovery in normal circumstances. You body is designed to do it and majority of the time it is complication free, easy recovery and your able to tend to your baby without any problems. Honestly if there are no reasons as to why you cannot achieve a natural birth it totally confuses me why any one would choose the more painful invasive way over the natural way.
I had a birth with my son where I did tear quite badly but I would rather those stitches (that healed really fast) anyday then have a scar with stitches across my abdomen.
I think that nearly every woman has some fear of childbirth, especially the first time. Maybe find a book or a doula or a friend who has had a number of births, who can help you work through the nameless fear. You won't die. It is safer than car travel.
I agree with Duchessa, I think most woman are a bit scared, well, okay ALOT scared of giving birth.
You are normal.
but most of those same women are less scared AFTER they give birth, most of them even go on to do it again!! so that's gotta count for something right?
I am one of those, i was terrified, that's why I started researching it so much, I like to know stuff, I'm a nerd.
I have given birth and I am not scared of it anymore. I am kind of looking forward to doing it again, I felt amazing afterwards, AMAZING.
I wouldn't recommend induction though, and watch your birth position. These are things that can cause problems, vaginal birth itself isn't the problem.
Yeah, it does hurt, but not screamy hurty, just a bit owie and then it stops and then a bit owie again. Really. Less hurty than being burnt, because it comes and goes. Your body gives you endorphins to help with this anyway, they are what make you feel amazing afterwards too.
Good luck, I know you have struggled with this the whole way through, but I just want to reassure you that its not that bad, honest its not.
Your body is stretchy and designed to give birth. Trust it. You are amazing, you just don't know how much yet. Don't miss it unless you have to. Its a wild and cr-azy ride!!
I just wanted to thank all of you for your replies. I really appreciate it. It certainly has been a real struggle for me. And I imagine it will continue to be until it is all "done and dusted" so to speak. I think the thing I find so difficult is the uncertainty. I could have a natural birth and it could all go fine. Or it might not. I could have a caesarian and it could all go fine. Or it might not. I'm concerned that I will be one of the unlucky ones and things just don't won't go well for me - regardless of which way I go. As much as I want to be a mum, maybe this was not the way to get there. I probably should have looked at adoption since I'm so freaked out by this. The good thing is that I have a wonderful DH and if this does push me over the edge and I have to leave or whatever, at least I know my son will be looked after.
i had a emergancy c section and it went all right
took me a while to heal longer then normal but i wasnt very follow the rules of healing it :thumbsdown:
but other then that it was fine.
make a lsit of each one and JSUT put the pro's of each one to make you feel better maybe?
I have had both. A VB is of course much easier to get over. Mind you had a bad tear and dodge up stitches! A c/s isn't a walk in the paark, they are pretty rough with you, I felt very bruised the next day and also very sore and in a lot of pain. Not only that i had nurses changing my bloody pads and a catheter hanging out of me. Not trying to scare you, as i had a great C/S but afterwards was really painful, even with drugs. I healed beautifully too so i couldn't imagine someone who hadn't!
Just keep in mind that C/S is classed as major abdominal surgery, and what comes with a C/S is all the risks of surgery, VB is natural and in most circumstances normal and the safest way.
Hope you can come to a decision :)
BNTW it is completely normal to feel scared. I think almost every woman does. Totaly natural feelings
Read as much as you can and talk to people.
Lotsa great birth stories on here and this is a fab site too.
I've vaginally birthed six humungus bubs now and last time I checked I hadn't died yet :p Natural to be scared of the unknown but mental plays as huge a part as the physical in birth so hope you can become positive about whatever choice you make:hugs:
My son was breech and I had a c-section - kind of knew that I owuld be having a c-section from about the same spot your at now. And now after my c-section I'm more scared about VB than a caesarean. I loved my caesarean, was up walking the morning after (within 24 hours), painfully but I managed it. By a few days after that, I was excellent. My SIL had a VB that she haemorraged after, the other SIL tore to hell and back and I had a better recovery than both (even if I do say so myself :laughing:) PM me if you have any questions, I'm more than willing to share!
I was scared too BTW :D
This is probably hypocritical coming from a (soon to be) 3 times c/s mum. But honestly, unless there are medical reasons for a c/s I feel trying for a VB is definitely the way to go.
My 1st birth did end in an emergency c/s, but until that moment the thought of surgery never crossed my mind. I was pregnant. Babies arrive via the vagina. End of story. That was my thought process (I'm not one to over-think things ;)). I was absolutely terrified, but that was what you did to get a baby.
Regret is probably too strong, but I do wish sometimes now that I'd attempted a VBAC with #2 instead of going straight to another c/s.
I agree with PP. Research. Do lots of reading of reputable texts/websites/whatever. Probably try to stay away from "birth Nazi" type stuff though, because if you're anything like me the more someone tells you that you must do it a certain way, you're more likely to do it the other way. Knowledge is a good cure for fear.
Good luck with your decision.
Just wanted to say go with what your gut is telling you to and be positive once you have made your decision, but also be aware that sometimes things dont go to plan.
I was wanting a natural birth, and had it all planned out in my mind how it would go, well after 2 failed inductions one on Monday morning, the next on Monday night, where i briefly went into labour, and by Tuesday morning it had all stopped, I had issues with PIH, and there were also issues with bubs as well. I ended up having a c/sec on tuesday night at 7.07pm, i felt pretty out of it all night, but the next morning the OB came in and told me that he wanted me up out of bed and showered, which i did. It was painful, but i took it slow, I left hospital on Friday, so three days after my c/sec. Come 2 weeks later i felt fine, and I dont have a great big scar across my abdomen, the OB did a bikini cut, which is the natural crease between your groin and belly area ( does that make sense) and you can hardly see it. The theatre staff were fantastic as were the staff in recovery.
I guess what i am trying to say, is that you want your baby to come out the safest way for you and for bubs, and if you feel that risking being in labour for 40 hour s then having an emergency c/sec is upsetting for you and stressing you out, then opt for the c/sec. Feel comfortable and happy with your birthing choice, cos that is what it is your choice.
The OB also told me the day after that although my pelvis is very wide, it is narrow and there is no way i could birth naturally anyway. So glad i found that out before being in labour for hours and hours. So my next baby will be c/sec and i am very comfortable with that.
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