young by choice.WHY!!??

[lexi'smum]

hi everyone,
i was just wondering this as I have read alot of posts about young girls trying to concieve.

I am a young mum myself, not by choice, although now I would not change having my DD for the world, now that she is here.

But anyway when I hear about young girls actually trying, I am so blown away! what is your reason for this, I just dont get it, I guess maybe having a child makes me understand more what its about then those wanting, but I just want to know, why the hell do people chose to have children so young!

I am genuinely wanting an answer to this, so please dont just snap back at me.

[MonkeyMum05]

Because I believe thats the way nature intended.:o

We value family more than money, status and wordly success... so our plan is to create our family... then as they grow, study and learn (hubby already has a degree and a job, he is older than me )... eventually when they are at school I can start my career, we can negotiate a mortgage, etc and focus a bit more energy on the money side of things.
The only reason we would be buying a house would be for our children... so that when they are older, we would be in a position to help them out and have something to leave them when we die.
If I had chosen to study first start my career, buy a house etc ... I may have not ended up with a family.... and to me Life is about family and Love, not money and wordly success.
I would rather have a family and just scrape by, as we are now... than have money and a house and leave ot too late to ahve children.

We weren't exactly trying our hardest to concieve... we had talked about the fact that we wanted children together and just kind of threw caution to the wind every now and then, believing that what was meant to be, would be.

Our little boy is the absolute light of our lives! We have never for a second regretted our choice.
I like being a young mum (though I was 20 when pregnant, don't know if you were aiming your question at younger mums?)
I can't magine having it any other way! ;)

[MonkeyMum05]

Just reading back over your post Lexi's mum....
I'm guessing that your question was actually aimed at Teens?

...oh, well, you can have my view anyway!:D

[Taylors_mum]

Well said Monkeymum!!

Im 22 and had a very secure job in a bank when we decided we were ready for a family.

I guess everybody is different. I wanted to have a family why i was young and be able to enjoy growing with them.... and also being around to enjoy my grand children :D

[Lunar]

I agree with both girls on this.
I didn't plan Em, she was a 'surprise', I was 19, 20 when she was born.
I have never regreted having her so young. In fact I am ver thankful as she has made me a much stronger person. I probably wouldn't be alive today if I didn't have her.
I actually 'planned' on starting a family when I was 25, but now at 24 my family is complete.
It took us over a year to fall with Kailah (after 2 m/c too), I didn't want to leave too big a gap between them.
I think some people are just 'ready' younger than others.

[mummydee]

i was 30 when I had Aodhan, and I still didnt feel I was ready. I think it stems from the fact that I knew what I was missing out on. Couldnt have a glass of wine with dinner, couldnt go down the pub till all hours. We had travelled extensively, both have uni educations, and are secure finacially. But that still doesnt mean we were ready to drop everything for a baby.

When you dont know what you are missing, maybe you arent as selfish. Good luck to those of you who are young Mum's. I had always planned to be married and have kids by 21, didnt happen, and now I regret it. Sometimes I feel I cant keep up with a toddler, too old.

I never thought I would say this, but when you are ready, thats the time to do it.

[lexi'smum]

Hi,
thanks for your replys.
I fully understand your reasons and I am quite similar, and basically feel the way you all do, I think having children young is great, and also believe everything happens for a reason, but I guess I just dont get the teenagers who are just out of (or still in) school who are actively ttc.

I guess I dont understand how they could 'know' they are ready, when honestly the majority dont even 'know' whats out in the real world...IYKWIM.

thanks again for your replies.

[MonkeyMum05]

When you dont know what you are missing, maybe you arent as selfish.

I never thought I would say this, but when you are ready, thats the time to do it.

Just want to say that I definately knew what I was missing out on!! I left home at 15 and had a lot of life experience.
I guess I just found my 'truth' at a young age. I was very over going out drinking till all hours... it just felt shallow and pointless. I had planned to travel more, but at the end of the day, that would never bring me the happiness that a family could.

I agree, mummydee, that when you are ready, you are ready.

Guess I just wanted to point out that just because someone is young doesn't mean they haven't experienced much. Not all young mums have lived at home all their lives, got married and had a baby. Some of us had to go the long way 'round!;)

[catalicious]

Hi I was pregnant when I was 16 and had my first son when I was 17. I had been pregnant before that pregnancy and was forced to have an unwanted abortion...

Even though that first pregnancy was unplanned, however because I hadnt wanted the abortion, I took no precaution after that not trying really but not really giving a **** anymore.

I got really self distructive (sp?)

Anyways then I got pregnant with my second son whilst on depo...

Whilst I wouldnt take my kids back for the world, I grew up so much when I had Loch I also wish the circumstances where different..

Just letting you know cant believe I told you guys that much about me now it make me sad thinking about it. :crying: Oh well whats done is done!!

[Cinta]

Our baby wasn't planned. However, i didnt want to have an abortion. I was in a steady relationship (we became engaged a couple of months after we found we were having a baby). We have just recently bought a house. DF is on an income that can allow us to pay off the house and allow me to be a SAHM or if we struggle i will just do some casual or part time work. I wouldn't change anything for the world. Our baby to us was a 'welcomed suprise'.

I too dont understand the teens that are TTC. I would not have been TTC but then i fell pregnant ...whoops! :)

[mel04]

My DD1 was our honeymoon baby. I got married at 20. We weren't planning for a baby, but it happened, and so we decided to have no2 straight away aswell.
I wouldn't change things for the world now that i have them, but i certaintly wouldn't have planned it so young. Sometimes i think about the things i could have done, but they will all have to wait now till the girls are much older.
I think anyone under 20, or even older, should "borrow" a baby for a few weeks, and still see how keen they are. lol I'm sure there are some who would still think they are ready, but i'm sure it would make alot of girls wait.
No matter what happens you learn to adapt, but given the choice, it would have been nice to have a few more years of putting me first! lol

[jessi]

My partner and I didnt plan on our little one either... but ever since I was little, I knew I wanted to be a young mum. Not in my teens, but before I was 25, I wanted to have a complete family. Looks like Im just getting what I always wanted. Plus, like monkeymum said-I also had alot of life experience early. I travelled ALOT (and even lived in USA) by myself and with other young friends from about the age of 16... got to experience alot of things first hand at a younger age than most and got over the things that alot of my friends are still doing, quiet quickly. Im a travel nut, so as soon as I can afford it- I'll be taking my kids on trips OS.:) I think it would be amazing to share something you love so much with your children... and still be able to get out and do exciting, energetic things with them (and not feel too old lol) :D

[Melissa1983]

Hi
I had DD1 when i was 19 turning 20. She was unplanned. I don't know why teens like 16 and 17 try and have babies, as it changes your life. I was always saying i would never have kids until i was 25, but since i have 2 now and i'm 23 i wouldn't change it. But it does mature you alot. but than DD2 wasn't planned either...

Sorry if that doesn't make much sense :o

[mrsbutterflygirl]

I thought I was really young having my baby at 24... but at 16 I don't think teens quiet understand what they have to go through.

[MonkeyMum05]

Agreed, mrsbutterflygirl!! I thought I had all the answers then... actually, I do now too :confused: :laughing:

[MilkOnTap]

I'm 21 years old and my hubby and I have been TTC for 13 months and have lost two bubs in that time. I always wanted a family young; and fortunately I met the man of my dreams young too!

I am thankful that we began TTC whilst I am young, as time may be something that we definitely need on our side. I have lost two bubs to ectopic pregnancies and I am glad that I have time up my sleeve incase we need to turn to IVF and it takes a few years.

I dont personally understand TTC whilst still in your early to mid teens, but some girls mature faster than others. Life experience serves out different desires and stirs different emotions too.

[MonkeyMum05]

And good luck to you, Ally :thumbsup: Sending you lots of 'baby making' vibes :D Your little angel will come when the time is right!

[EskimoMumma]

I was not expecting to have a baby just after i truend 17, but i did. I loved it, was so challenging and things iddnt go my way but i wouldnt change anything for the world. that was my DS and i have TTC at 20, and it worked, i was given my DD. Its about the love and the way life works for me.
Life isnt about the latest fashion things, the latest this and that and goin gout, life is about your family :o

[Me]

I can remember back to when I was 17(that's when i met my DH) and within a few months of meeting him I desperately wanted a family - I just knew I wanted to be with him forever. A few times we stopped being careful but weren't actively TTC. Then DH decided that he wanted to buy a house so we put baby making plans on the back burner, got married then fell over a year after getting married. Now at 21 I have a beautiful(well i think shes beautiful!) 4mth old DD and I couldn't be happier. I am glad now that we didn't actively ttc when i was 17 as now I am much more ready to be a mother than i was back then. I had many life experiences when i was in my mid teens eg travel, partying etc so i don't feel that i'm missing out on anything now but back then i might have wondered.

does any of this make sense? I guess what I'm trying to say is that I can understand why they want to have kids so young, but can't actually imagine why they would actively ttc so young... desire and having are 2 VERY different things... it's not like you can put them back if it's not what you expected!:laughing:

[♥Heaven Sent♥]

I met df when i was 16 and i knew after 6 months that we were meant to be together we were in "love" and i spoke to him when i was 17 that i wanted a family with him.It took a couple of months to make our decision but by november-december 2004 we started ttc.I was ready to become a mum ever since i was young i knew i would be a young mum and older people would always tell me that i will be a great mum when im older because i was soo... could i say mothering LOL.I didnt know when id become a mother but i knew in time and at the right time it would be.It took me and my partner 8 months to fall pregnant and in april 2005 we had a beautiful girl.I had a hard time when i was pregnant i was very sick all the time and said to myself i would never get pregnant again.But when my daughter was 6 months old we decided to have another baby we wanted a pigeon pair(boy and girl) to complete our family.I fell pregnant straight away and i am now 28 weeks pregnant with a boy my dd is 1 yr old i am due in 12 weeks and am 19 nearly 20 I am very happy/excited but scared at the same time to have them so close together but i know it in my heart that it is so worth it.I love my family for the world i dont regret my decision and am so in love with my family and my life and love being a young mum.I was sent from god and put here to be a young mum.

[liah]

I had ryder last year- when i was 17. He wasnt planned but he was a nice surprise. I do sometimes wonder what it would have been like if i hadn't fallen pregnant but i wouldnt change things for the world. I came straight out of highschool and was thrown into "grown up life" (paying bills, looking after a house and a baby) I am nearly 19 and have never been to a club or a pub or out drinking, i have none of my highschool friends left (basically have no friends at all), suffered from PND and spend all day every day looking after everyone but myself. My advice it to really think about it before you make the decision becau8se if you dont have a really solid relationship its going to be very hard.

But in the end i love my baby MORE THAN ANYTHING!!

[bec79]

I too am curious about the reasons why teenages chose to TTC. Maybe it is just my upbringing, but I don't understand why they don't want to get out and live a little first. I'd like to hear from some of those teenages who are actively TTC, rather then those who hadn't planned to concieve, but suprisingly did....

[CJandMum]

My DP and I are ttc our first child :fingerscrossed: . We are currently finishing our degrees in Nov. I don't see anything wrong with starting early. Some by choice, other by chance. I know someone who had two beautiful children out of high school and later found out she had endometrial cancer. If she would have waited for her career, house, etc. to come into place. She might not of had children. You have your entire life to work out a career and to pay off the mortgage. I agree with people who are saying that when you are ready, you are ready. It's only natural. I have wanted children ever since I was 18 but knew that I had to be financially dependable, so my DP and I waited until we were at least in our final year at uni to ttc. So here we are... wish us luck :thumbsup: Good luck to all of the ladies ttc in April :fingerscrossed:

[JaYdEn&CaYLeE'sMuMmY]

i was pregnant at 16 had my son when i was 17.. it wasnt planned.. but i dont regret it.. i have a daughter that is 1 now.,they r 13months apart..and im proud to be a young mum... i would rather kids now while i got the energy to keep up with them and when they r 18 and leave home(hopefully) ill still be young..i think about 37yrs old and i can do watever...
im 19 now and my son is too
and as young mums i think we put up with alot of **** from other ppl..be coz we r young mums.. i dont know about any1 else here.. but im always getting dirty looks and horrible comments...

[shed]

I don't see anything wrong with starting early. Some by choice, other by chance.

I don't think anyone has said there is anything wrong with starting early.

Its merely curiosity as to what brought them to make that choice. We all know how it happens, sometimes accidentally sometimes not, and lots of young woman do start to get a clucky in their teens and very early twenties but to actually go through with it is a whole different story.

I wouldn't have had the guts till now. Its got nothing to do with my material possessions or my career and I resent people (i.e. journalists and the government) saying that I have put off having babies so I can get these things.

I put it off so I could be the best mum I could possibly be, and that wasn't until now.

[HoopDeeDoo]

It's funny I don't consider myself to be a young mum, but a lot of people do. My DH was saying it's interesting the reaction he gets when he tells people he has an 18 month old they go "Oh thats nice", and then when he adds we have #2 on the way they go "What, were they planned?" Like there is something wrong with having two kids by the age of 25 :laughing: And planned at that :eek:
It's just so funny to me that people find it so strange when 25 years ago it was normal for my parents to have two kids by this age.

I totally understand why 16 or 17 is a bit young to be planning a family, but I think by the time you are in your 20s people can think your adault enough to drive, and drink, and work full time, but it's strange to have or be planning a family :detective:

[MumsieMel]

I was TTC at 18 yrs and concieved in the first month, me and my partner wanted it that way.
We were engaged at the time, now happily married with 2 kids and 1 on the way!

I am SOOO PROUD OF THIS!!!

AGE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BEING READY OR WANTING TO TTC! :mad:

Sure some people arent ready as such at 16 etc, but the same can be said for those that are 30 etc!!

[EskimoMumma]

as previously said i think i want to clarify. i am 21 years old with two beautiful children 4yrs and 5 months and i am still TTC, i love having a family and having my kids because i know i am an awesome mother and its my choice to do this!

[CJandMum]

I don't think anyone has said there is anything wrong with starting early.



I wasn't trying to be vindictive towards people who have waited to have children, just merely the fact that others have some earlier rather than later. I am not saying these people are materialistic or selfish in any way. All different people have different opinions of when to have children and this differs from person to person. When you are ready, you're ready. That's all I was saying. And congratulations on your bub :D

[Femme-Fetale]

Agreed, mrsbutterflygirl!! I thought I had all the answers then... actually, I do now too :confused: :laughing:

HAHAHAHA i used to have all the answeres, but now i see the kids do!! :D

[SassyMummy]

I don't want to offend anyone...because what you decide to do is up to you...

But I too am bewildered by why young girls want to have babies ON PURPOSE at young ages!

I am a young mother, but when I hear about girls TTC, I always think "WHY?!". As an outsider on the issue, I think it must be because they're not FULLY AWARE of what it's like to be a mother. They may know how to take care of babies, or whatever...but being a mother is different to watching a baby for a few hours.

Oh, and I usually think this about first-time mothers...not young mothers having their 2nd or 3rd...because they already KNOW what it's like to be a parent.

Sorry if you're young and TTC...but I still think "WHAT?! WHY?!" when I hear about it.

[MilkOnTap]

I dont think there is anything wrong with being a young mum and wanting to have a family. I always knew that I wanted a family young, and that I would definitely put a family before career or financial success. But that is just me. I KNEW what I wanted and it just so happened that I met the man who I wanted to father my children whilst young (I met him when I was 19). :D

Fortunately for us we began TTC early and it has proved to be a good thing as it may take much longer for us to fall naturally than we had originally expected. :(

If a young mum, being mid to late teens feels that she wants to have a baby and has considered ALL lifestyle changes (including financial support and assistance, family support and the loss of friends - lets face it, it happens!) then I say good for you and best wishes! :thumbsup:

[JaYdEn&CaYLeE'sMuMmY]

im doing this thing.. Talking Realities.. we go to schools to talk to teenagers wat its like to be a mum and ****.. hopefully 13yrs old dont just go.. oh how cute a baby i want one now...coz they dont really know wat it is like..i get p****ed off in trains when there is teenagers like 14 15 yrs old and they say to their bfs..look how cutes that baby i want one now lets have one..and their bfs r like yup lets do it... just so they can get a **** out of it.. talking realities is even talking to boys about it

[MilkOnTap]

Thats fantastic what your doing PerthMum - I bet a bit of 'real life' thrown on these girls who are still maturing themselves is just what they need... Congrats!

[jessgray]

im 19 and i will be 20 when my 2nd is due in november. #2 bub was planned. Ds who is 1 was half planned and half not. but we wouldnt change it for the world :)
i have put my brother who is 17 off having kids :laughing: he has wanted a little "footy team" as he calls it since he was 14 :confused: he looked after DS for 20 mins while i went to the fish and chip shop when DS was teething lol

i never really thought about kids when i was younger.i didnt start wanting any till i met DP lol and he had always wanted soem before he was 24 lol

as for the TTC- DS well we didnt have to try lol #2 bub took us since november 2005 to concieve

[mum2derekandmia]

I found out I was pregnant with my first baby 3 months after I turned 20. To be frank I describe that to be the worst day of my life. I did not know how I was supposed to look after this little being? My partner & I never considered termination but we were scared. We had been together nearly 5 yrs & had discussed chn but not that soon. After a couple of days we came to terms with our situation and when we first saw him in the untrasound we knew we could do it. While we look back on our life without chn and sometime dearly miss it we know we would not have things any other way. So I celebrated my 21st birthday 8 weeks after Derek was born and by that stage was back at work 35hrs/week out of necessity because he wasnt planned ( but honestly how many of us can say they were?) we just didn't have the $$$$. Life with kids isn't all that bad I have 2 now and would like a 3rd, just makes you really gratefull for any alone time you can get!!!!!

[hayleysmummy]

I was TTC at 18 yrs and concieved in the first month, me and my partner wanted it that way.
We were engaged at the time, now happily married with 2 kids and 1 on the way!

I am SOOO PROUD OF THIS!!!

AGE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BEING READY OR WANTING TO TTC! :mad:

Sure some people arent ready as such at 16 etc, but the same can be said for those that are 30 etc!!
I agree I fell pregnant with and gave birth to DD at 18 and if I could turn back time I would've started my family at 15 Age has nothing to do with parenthood depending on the maturity IYKWIM I also had an unwanted forced abortion at 16 and it breaks my heart everytime I think about it:gloomy: .DD was half planned half not I wasnt using contraception therefore we knew what could happen and I knew I wanted a baby young I think I'm a great mum to my child no matter how old I am and it will be great to watch my DD grow up where I'm at an age to keep up with her

[*babygirl*]

i am a mother by 'accident' as it is termed... but i wouldnt change it for the world. i was 18 when bubba was born and i ALWAYS knew i would be a mother young.. something in my blood. my mother had six kids and started when she was 20, my nana when she was 20 my great grandma when she was 20.... we're al nurturing motherly types and i guess it was just me KNOWING i would have children young... and that she would come to me... not the otherway around. and here she is....
tho i know a few YOUNG teens like 14-15 who 'want' a baby.... and want to get married etc... it freaks me out because most of them are just not ready... physically, mentally, finacially. its just scary really... young kids want to do EVERYTHING so quickly and early they often do it half heartedly and rushed....

[studyingECS]

tho i know a few YOUNG teens like 14-15 who 'want' a baby.... and want to get married etc... it freaks me out because most of them are just not ready... physically, mentally, finacially. its just scary really... young kids want to do EVERYTHING so quickly and early they often do it half heartedly and rushed....


See i feel ready but i know if it happened i wouldnt be, although i know i will be a young mum i can feel it in my bones so to speak. I have 2 friends at the moment who are pregnant, and i can tell you they are not ready.

[hayleysmummy]

I also think alot of young immature mums (I dont mean us bubhub mummies:laughing: ) see it as oh $4000 I'm going to have a baby without realising a baby costs alot more than $4000 to raise in a lifetime. I would have started a family at 15 knowing what I know now but before I had DD I thought it would be a peice of cake I used to think to myself "How hard can it be" but it is hard but I love it everyone is different though and some young mums really cant handle the responsibilty while others really suite family life IYNWIM
Like I said in my last post it really depends on the maturity of the teen :thumbsup:

[Freya]

I was 15 when I fell pregnant 16 when I had him, we did plan for a child quite nieve really... but I guess it all comes down to the individual. Whilst I do believe I was ready to be a mother I do not believe that there is many other 16 yr olds ready to be mothers. Like *babygirl* I always knew I would be a mother young... It was in me to do that not because I slept around (I have only had one partner whom I was with for almost 3 years up until a short time ago.) but because I have always been more mature for my age I did the clubbing thing, the alcohol thing at a very young age and by young I mean 12-13 :shame: I don't feel I am missing out on anything and I had prepared myself for this life long before I knew I was pregnant I knew what I was gettin myself into I knew how hard it would be but I thought I had my partner to support me, little did I know! Although I do not think that I am struggling whatsoever and wouldn't change a thing about being such a young mum but that is because of the type of person I am. Some may think I am silly but I would love to have another baby and it makes me very sad that this will not happen for quite a while as I have to find a hubby first!!

Whilst I do not condone teenage pregnancy I also do not condemn it and if a young girl chooses to try to start a family that is her decision and no body can judge her for that, especially when you do not know the situation, realationship or type of person she is...

[hayleysmummy]

I was 15 when I fell pregnant 16 when I had him, we did plan for a child quite nieve really... but I guess it all comes down to the individual. Whilst I do believe I was ready to be a mother I do not believe that there is many other 16 yr olds ready to be mothers. Like *babygirl* I always knew I would be a mother young... It was in me to do that not because I slept around (I have only had one partner whom I was with for almost 3 years up until a short time ago.) but because I have always been more mature for my age I did the clubbing thing, the alcohol thing at a very young age and by young I mean 12-13 :shame: I don't feel I am missing out on anything and I had prepared myself for this life long before I knew I was pregnant I knew what I was gettin myself into I knew how hard it would be but I thought I had my partner to support me, little did I know! Although I do not think that I am struggling whatsoever and wouldn't change a thing about being such a young mum but that is because of the type of person I am. Some may think I am silly but I would love to have another baby and it makes me very sad that this will not happen for quite a while as I have to find a hubby first!!

Whilst I do not condone teenage pregnancy I also do not condemn it and if a young girl chooses to try to start a family that is her decision and no body can judge her for that, especially when you do not know the situation, realationship or type of person she is...

Well sai dElle I dont think your silly at all which is why I purposley posted that age has no barrier depending on maturity and I kno wyou are a very mature 16 yr old mum
Soon to be 17 WOOOOHOOOO :smiliedance:

[sandy_1902]

im a teen mum.(i havent read previous posts sorry if i say the same ) not by choice but yeah woukdnt change him for the world.. n now my friends are like i want a kid.. i understand y one of them want one (has cysts on her overies) but i dunno i wwould not have chosen to get preggers

i think its like a trend (i no alot of young mums) they see someome young with a buib n want that. without fully thinking it thropugh. IMO that is

[workin'mumof2]

Hi, im 22 now but had DS had 21 both me and hubby wanted to have kids earlier as in as soon as we got married at 18-19 (i left school at 15 and moved states to be with him) but alot of people were saying this is "wrong" now i look back i would not have waited because Seth is the best thing that has ever happened to me and i cry that i did have one b4 him. i will never say what was said to me to another person if they are in a strong relationship or are a strong person themselves. I am pregnant with our second child much to most peoples disgust. and i am fully prepared as a mum for it.

my sister got preg at 18 and had him at 19 8 weeks early, she wasnt ready and people pushed for her to get an abortion i was one who told her NO keep him. she did, he is the best thing 4 her and her partner. they are moving out of home soon and then ttc for there second knowing they have a high chance of another premature baby. she is soon to be 21.

[SpecialMumma]

When you say a teen mum, what do you mean?

I was 18 when my hubby and I started TTC, so if Id fallen pregnant I would be been only just 19 when I had a baby.

I REALLY hooe, when you say teen mums, you mean 14-15 etc, because at 18 or so, ALOT of girls ARE mature enough to handle/ have a child. And ALOT DO.

Im now only JUST 20, and going to start IVF.

this thread rattled my chain. lol

[~*clairesmum*~]

im 19 i had claire when i was just 18 i didnt plan to have her but if i got preggers then yeah.... i wanted to be a young mum cause after they are older u can start on a career n not have to worry about taking time off to have a babys.....but i dont care if thats wat other people want to do its everyone choice if u get wat i mean..... most of m y friends that have bubs that r 2-3mths older then claire are about 2-3yrs younger then me n nooffence to anyone but they are one of the best mums i have seen

[Mum&bubs]

Okay I've probably already replied to this thread because I just read the date it was first started but meh :p

Well I was 16 when I fell pregnant with my first daughter, now when I was 16 I thought I was old enough to do anything and not THAT young only now I realise just how young I was. But that doesn't mean I wasn't mature, I was always and still am very mature for my age. Even though my daughter was an 'oopsie!' baby I decided to keep her because I knew that I had my head screwed on tight enough to know that I could give my baby love and be the best mother I could possibly be.

When I was 17 DF & I decided we wanted to add another member to our family. Why? Because we have so much love to share and we knew we were ready. I was never interested in going clubbing, partying, doing drugs whatever it is that teenagers do these days :laughing: I only wanted my family. So then I got pregnant again! I had a m/c though which made me even more determained to have another bub so at 18 I gave birth to my second daughter Taliyah. She was very well planned and always wanted and loved.

I think it all depends on the individual and not the age of a person. A person could be 35 and have the maturity level of a 12 year old. People shouldn't be so quick to judge without knowing the full circumstances.

If someone said to me they could turn back time and give me a choice to wait before I had my kids, would I? Nope! Without my kids I don't think I'd be anywhere in life, I am far better off WITH children then without.

[Lollie86]

I was 20 when i gave birth to my daughter and she was definately planned.

Even though I wasnt a teen (15-16), I was made to feel that she was a mistake....people would actually say things like 'oh thats okay, the next one you can plan for in a few years.' :eek:

At the beginnning I actually did tell a few people that she wasnt planned just to shut them up.....not that im hiding that dd was planned but i have only really told my sister and BIL that she was, mainly bc no one really asks....

Somehow I feel that my parents would be disappointed knowing that we planned to have a baby so young.

As much as I want to have another bub soon to not have a big age gap, I now feel that im not ready for another one and want to do a few things before we start TTC again.

[moonwildflower]

I think peoples opinions are based on the stereotypical teenager. Having a baby at my age between 50 and 100 years ago would have been considered the norm. And although I agree that most teenagers today are immature, irresponsible and shouldn't even be thinking of having children, not all teens are like that.

When you're ready you're ready.

[Noah_and_Elijah]

If I was a teenager I wouldn't willingly TTC a child (before anyone jumps down my throat for that I think teen mums are great but I personally wouldn't TTC is all I mean) but I did start TTC my first baby when I was 21 and we fell pregnant straight away.

I gave birth just before my 22nd birthday and then fell pregnant again (TTC) in July and will have 2 children at age 23.

I am getting to the point now though where I don't consider myself to be a young mum anymore.

[lucycrystal]

what would you class as young?
i was 21 when my son was born.

it was my choice, i was born to be a mum... i love it... its not the end of my life, i still do all the things i love and have a little companion along the way... not saying its not bloody hard but life is hard anyway...

being a mum young or old is a blessing and the best thing in the world... next to chocolate... ahahaha:laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

[kadencze13]

i accidently fell pregnant with my boy when i was 16, knew it would be hard but didn't for a second think about abortion. Two years later i found out that i have polycistic ovarian syndrome a common infertility problem and chances that i will have another baby are slim.:crying:

[SassyMummy]

Lucy, I'd class "school-aged" as "too young to TTC their first."

I would never encourage anyone who has not reached 17 or 18 (graduation age) to actively TTC. I don't think there's anything wrong with accepting responsibility if you happen to fall pregnant before this time, I just think it's terribly irresponsible to TRY to have a baby before this time.

Lucy, I do think you're a younger mother, (I had DD at 19 and am 21 now), but I don't think you're a YOUNG mother... iykwim? I think a YOUNG YOUNG mother is someone who has their kids... like... under 18.

[our little treasures]

I have 3 sil's that were young mums under 18 when they had there first. I do think that it is very young age but they all seem to cope. Two tend to over react to a lot of situations and act a little immature at times as mums and partners. I think I notice more because I am a lot older than they are. I was 23 with dd1 and I was a lot wiser also married and had been working since 15.

[Kayangel]

young by choice because children are what make me complete, happier and a better person. I love being around babies and children now can anyone think of anything better? some might be able to but i cant.

Everyone is different and has different desires in life, mine is too be a mum and thats what im going to be. I couldnt be more happier.

No one should be judged on the age they have kids because no one knows the reasons feelings and life of the person.

[Mamalicious]

Our baby wasn't planned, and not even wanted for a little while....Our contraception failed, and we were left wondering why this happened, we were so careful, we had plans for our lives, we wanted toset ourselves up and be financially prepared, married, own our own home, all those things.

Not trying to throw a pity party for myself, but I had a really rough childhood, and my teenage years before getting pregnant, and I'd just started studying makeup artistry and getting myself back on my feet when I found out I was pregnant...

But since bubba #1 came along, we're going to start ttc #2 in January, we always wanted our kids close together, especially the first two anyway, so we're sticking to that plan at least lol

When I hear that people are actively TTC a first baby I want to scream...not because I have any right to judge them on what they should and shouldn't do, but because I'm doing it right now, and when I'm up for the 6th time in an hour at 4 am, patting the back of a baby that won't sleep, in tears myself, and I'm wishing wishing wishing that my contraception had worked...I just think that it would be a good idea for those wannabe parents to try doing sole care for a few days and nights at least, because if it's not what you thought it would be, it's too late to change your mind.

[Freya]

Just reading back as I didn't before...

No offense Elle, but if either of my daughters come to me before they are 18 and tell me they are pregnant I will more than kick their Butts!! I will support them, but honestly, I don't think I could respect them anymore... I'm sure you're doing a brilliant job but I do want my children to at least finish school before worrying about pregnancy and babies and nappies and sleep deprivation and all the anguish that you go through... To have worked and know that supporting a child isn't easy and that Mum and Dad can't fix everything...

I understand wanting to have them that young, but actually having them that young is another story.

I totally mean no offense to those under 18 that have children, but I hope that I raise my girls (and any son of mine as well) to not WANT to even have $ex before they are 18!! I'll say protected at 16 as I was no angel, but I was at least legal age!

My cousin was 16 when she fell pregnant, 17 when her daughter was born 5 days after my DD and she's decided that alcohol and drugs are more important than her DD - if I could see her I'd smack her upside the head, instead she ran off to Brisbane so her Mum could look after her daughter (I will not talk about her Mum as it angers me to do so...) while she goes out drinking and getting wasted on drugs - she is 18 now, I guess she feels she has a right...

As long as you put the children/family first it shouldn't matter how old you are, but I will not be impressed at all if my children tell me before they are 18 that they will be parents...


I had a very protective mother who tried everything to stop my sister and I from having sex at a young ago for example being very protective we were never allowed out at night, we grew up in a very strict christian home but we rebelled as teens do. You cannot STOP your child yes you can teach them morals and I do have morals which is why out of my 3 year realationship we didn't have sex til things were very serious. But if a teen is going to do something they will that is life.

Of course you wouldn't be impressed if your daughter fell pregnant who would? BUT she will need your support and love and she will get through.

And majority of teen mums are not like your cousin :no: In fact I know ALOT of young mums who I have helped out and there is only one who has abused the privelege of being a mother. They do not rely on other people to support them and their child. I don't ask for any help I pay my own way in my own place, I have only left my son with my mum once for a few hours and would never just drop him off there so I can go out.

That is good that you want your children to finish school and have a life before having children, what mother wouldn't?

But we all need to understand that sadly not every story goes that way and that doesn't make you a bad mother or a mother who taught her child no morals it actually has nothing to do with you she made a decision maybe a silly one but she made it and all you can do as a mother is be there for her and not judge her because that would be a time when she needs you more then ever.

ETA: And my mum was there she supported me 100% and stuck by me and was very proud that I took the responsibilty, we are sooo close and I respect her soo much more then I ever did before because by her supporting me showed me how much she did love me she never judged me just loved and stuck by me. And if *sadly* one day I had a daughter find out she was pregnant I would do the same thing I would be very disapointed but be very proud of her for not taking the easy way out and instead going ahead with her pregnancy and turning her life around.

ETA: AGAIN!! Just wanted to say that most girls are having sex underage and from what I have learnt and in my own experience it is rarely the ones who sleep around with lots of guys all the time that do fall pregnant it is the ones who make one silly mistake, failed conception and are usually in long term realationships that do fall pregnant.

[neostudded]

I had a baby at 17 (pg at 16), Iam loving it, it is pretty much what I expected it to be.

My mother was 16 when she had her first child so I always thought it was the norm.I can remember when I was 13 I said to my older sister "when are you going to have kids?" she replyed "iam 16!" then I said "yeah and you'll be 17 this year, dont you think your getting a bit old.".I cant believe I said that!

elle, I think your a really really great mother, I admire you, you do such a great job with your son.

[catalicious]

I agree with your second ETA.... that most girls I know who have fallen pregnant young are or where in serious relationships.... the girls i knew that slept around where extremely careful..

[peanutbutter&jelly]

I'll say that I certainly don't agree with your views, but we can't really state that your opinion is wrong, because girls - it IS an opinion... Really, if you couldn't respect your own daughter if she comes home and tells you that she's pregnant when she's a teen, thats kind of YOUR problem, showing your own fears, your own judgement calls, and I guess even your own lack of belief that you could be a good parent at that sort of age...
It is an opinion though, and I thoroughly believe that it would be your loss and not hers

[AM]

I now wish i had started having children earlier, say early 20's instead of late 20's, but I thought I was not ready. In fact I'm sure I was, I was just petrified!:laughing:

I take my hat off to all the young mums out there, planned and unplanned.

I think it is awesome to be young, and know exactly what you want, I'm still deciding:eek:

[TwoBlue]

Lets keep this on track ladies....

and remember we are all entitled to our opinions