same middle names in family

[abbynmonique]

we have a son called byron matthew 6yrs old
and a girl due 2nd of may whom we will call monique rosalie.
i think its a really cute name, rosalie is my mums middle name,, my husband wants to make moniques middle name louise after his sister that died of cot death at 18 months old about 35 yrs ago. his mum has 5 other children, and all the grand daughters have louise as a middle name , although the children all only have 1 daughter each, so hubby thinks its rude if we dont carry on this tradition but i feel like she may be my only daughter and i want abit of my family name passed on to her as well, considering she gets his last name. Is this insensitive of me??
also i feel that boys middle names are sometimes names passed on through the family but girls middle names are usually just names that go well with their first names??
any comments??

[Rainbowbrite]

I think you should give her your mums name. :)

[shed]

Give her your mums middle name and then tack Louise on after that, so she has two.

[Elfin]

Could you give your daughter two middle names? I think Monique Rosalie Louise or Monique Louise Rosalie are really pretty combinations.

[M O P]

You have to choose names that you and your partner want. The family can say whatever they like but it's your decision in the end. We've had a lot of pressure put on us by mil to continue a couple of family names, lucky for me Angus isn't interested either!

He and both his brothers have Macdonald as their middle names- their great grandmother's maiden name, their grandfather had it too but not their Dad. Angus hates it so much when we first got together he told me his middle name was Stephen! Anyway, his Mum keeps saying "Girl or boy they must have Macdonald as their middle name"! :banghead:
I had a hyphenated surname as my Dad had his mother's maiden name as his middle name, there are no males left with that name, so he hyphenated it to keep it going. We could use that name as a middle name to also keep it going a bit more- that would make sense, I don't think Macdonald's about to die out!!

Angus's great grandfather was called Robert, so was one of his great uncles, his Dad and 2 of his Dad's cousins (they all had the same surname too except one of them), Angus's bro (but we call him by his middle name to save even more confusion) and one of Angus's cousins, but with a different surname. And she thinks we should have a Robert too!!! :banghead: :banghead: It's actually ridiculous now, we think. As Angus's Dad died when he was about 7 we did consider it for a middle name only but are going to use his Dad's middle name instead.

[Elfin]

Doh beat me to it Shed:D

[shed]

great minds think alike.

Basically abby, it comes down to whether or not you LIKE the name. I love the name Louise, so it would be an easy enough decision for me, but if you don't like it then don't use it.

YOUR baby, your decision. They'll get over it.

[abbynmonique]

yeah , thats what i think, its our daughter , and we can call her what we like,, hubby is getting over it but i know deep down he would like to have it, i dont really like the name louise, only because i dont like doing things the same way as other people and to think all the girls on his side have the name, just doesnt do it for me, its already been used , and i want her to be a strong individual,, the respect will be carried on through the other girls , and hey , i want her to have a connection with my mum too.

[M O P]

:smiliedance: You go girl!:smiliedance:

[Ange&Seth]

If we had had a girl, then her middle name was going to be Jacqueline, after DPs little sister who we lost 2 years ago. She was only 19. This was our way of honouring her in some small way and both suggested the name at the same time. Great minds think alike :D But in saying that, I'm not sure how I would feel if there were any other grand-daughters on his parents side who also had Jacqueline as a middle name. I don't think it'd be as special if all the grand-daughters had it.

On the subject of 2 middle names, Seth ended up with 2. DP and I argued about it even before we were pregnant!! I always said my first born boy would have my dad's middle name, Thomas. It's a tradition on DPs side that the first born boys middle name is John. Hence, we now have a Seth John Thomas - I refused to budge on the issue. 'If we have to carry on your family's tradition, then I'm starting my own as well'

I think do whatever you both feel comfortable with, but even if DH wants to use Louise, then why not use both? It's very rare that the second middle name gets used really iykwim :p

[JobyBear]

I too am having a family middle name dilemma, but in that I wanted to honour DH's maternal grandfather Jack with our sons middle name.

Recently, DH's father passed away and I would love to honour him too, but if we only have one son, it would sound funny as ........... Jack John ........... or ........... John Jack............. Don't you think?

[shed]

In the olden days alot of Jacks were actually christened John, so that might be worth investigating.

[M O P]

Yes, John/Jack is the same thing basically.
Same as Henry/Harry or ****/Richard

[uptheduff]

Well, it's your choice, and at the end of the day...you both have to agree! Both of my boys have names carried on from dh's family...so my family started to get a bit jealous, and my mum keeps going on about honouring someone from our family as well. Well now we are expecting a girl, and it's always been my dream to give my daughter my granny's name as a middle name..DH wants to do the same with his mother, so our little girl will have Gracie May as her middle names. I've told mum this, and now she wants me to name her after my OTHER grandmother :banghead:

[abbynmonique]

lol...gracie may is really cute anyway:thumbsup:

[Blessed Mum]

Oh this is such a hard spot for you to be in - I know. We gave DS a middle name off of DH's side & DD a middle name off mine. Or like some others have suggested go with two middle names. It is your decision in the end. Good Luck.

[ETsMum]

Here is something to think about....

I used to work with a lady whose sons and all of their male cousins on her side of the family had the same second middle name - except one boy. Well, he felt really left out and changed his middle name when he was 18 to match all the others.

(A long time ago they used to have a hypenated surname and one generation they dropped off the first part of the name and made it the middle name.)

[Lilith]

Hi,
I'm sorry that you are having this difficulty at a time when I think all things should be joyous. Personally, I like family traditions as I believe our family units are becoming smaller and it's nice to have a tie to the past. I can also understand that when there are already a few Louises in the family, your daughter won't be individual. Have you looked at the varients for Louise so that maybe you could use one of them? (Aloisa, Luisa, and my fav. Lulu) Maybe, and only if there was one both you and your DH liked, you could use one of them as a second middle name. That way you are still following the family tradition, but in a unique way.

That's what we're planning to do - my mum Yvonne and my DH grandma Evalyn so will use Eva for a girl and my DH name is Alexander and we will use an alternate to his name like Alasdair if we have a boy.

[pookiesossige]

Hi Abbynmonique:

It sounds like your in a tricky spot.. but maybe it doesn't need to be so difficult.
I'm with ange&seth and easterlily, both those names would be lovely middle names. They really are cute:-) It would be pretty special for her to have both. The second middle one is often left out so put your fav as the first middle name. That's what I think anyway!

It's also great to be the one who starts the four-name thing in a family if it hasn't been done before!

My son Ronan has two middle names, one from each side of the fam. It's nice that he has that, I think. No one had done that in my side of the fam, but they love it and wish that they had done it for me and my sis now!

Can you let us know what you end up doing? You don't have long! (me too come to think of it!)

[shed]

What about Eloise?

that's pretty and similar but not exactly the same.

thats a good point above, about her maybe feeling left out if she doesn't have it in her name. That has happened with my cousins kids. They all have Jay or Jaye in their middle names except one, and she sort of wonders why.

Keep us posted. You've got us all interested now!!

[abbynmonique]

hmm, it has stumped me , to think she may feel left out,,
i just feel like my family has been left out in a way , everything seems to be about hubbys family, they are alot bigger and very socially active with each other , where as my family are very loving but all on completly different wave lengths.
I feel like my daughter wont have anything of my side to remember at the end of the day and i want her to be abit of me as well as them. It sounds abit silly to me when i write it like that but I never had any grandparents and my mum was pretty much raised by her aunt rosalie , i never met her either but she was a big part of my mums life.. im not that keen on 2 middle names, but wonder if she will feel left out , considering she will probably spend alot of time with these other girls.. my hubby arked up the other night , but after i said this could be my only daughter and i want abit of me in her name,, he agreed , this is my little girl and a part of me and he doesnt want to take that away from me. I dont want him to hold a grudge, but he has always been very understanding, and i think he sees the big picture from my point of view,, so monique rosalie swan it is,, (for today anyway) hehe,,
and yes , going well, had a big show on sunday, but still waiting for those memorable contractions to begin..:fingerscrossed: :smiliedance:

[aardvark]

My mother, my cousin and myself all share the same middle name - my mother's maternal Grandmother's first name.

I thought about passing that on with DD#1, but wanted to give her my Grandmother's middle name.

When we had DD#2, we thought we should use a middle name from DH's side of the family, but the only one we could come up with that we liked is DH's Father's middle name, which is OK, as it swings both ways.

DS we gave the middle name of my maternal Grandfather.

I feel strongly about middle names being family names, but not just for the sake of it - it has to be a name of a person with whom there is a strong connection for me.

My grandmother used to say that a person is never really dead as long as they are remembered. My thinking is giving their name to a young child ensures they will be remembered long after they are gone.